Author Name: Sommer Aka Histerix
Contact me: Aim: CrashmeBurn22
Rating: Er PG-13 for now
Warning/Disclaimer: No moneys being made, the storyline is mine though, back off! This is slash; it's used regularly, just like het. If you have issue, then I don't want you on my story page anyway. Toodles.
Summary: What to do when a locker room bet turns into more. What-to-do. anything else is too much info. Sorry! Oh H/D. Duh!
Title: Bets and Broken Promises (at least for now)
"I'm missing you bad, I never sleep,
avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak"
Dashboard Confessionals, Screaming Infidelities
Looking back, I'll never see why I didn't just tell him. Maybe it was his eyes, every time I looked up at him and tried to tell him, and I must have a hundred times, I was lost in his eyes. I even tried telling him while not looking at him though, I'd decided this was the only way, but I so didn't want to lose him. And telling him was losing him. Or so I thought, and deep down I still do think that if I'd told him he would have left. I mean, why shouldn't he have? I fucked up. I fucked up, really bad.
Sighing the blonde boy lifted up his small frame from the chair. He got up and headed towards the mirror. He was a crumpled mess but he still held his pride or at least held onto what was left of it. Slowly brushing out his silver hair he returned to his thoughts. Well I lost all my pride but I still look good right? He thought to himself, smiling halfheartedly at the unshared joke. He'd lost his arrogance and didn't walk as if he owned anything anymore. He didn't see the point. The one person who he would have done it for didn't care anymore. He had tried to keep up his insensitivity as long as possible. But recently he'd broken. He'd tried talking to the one person in his life who meant anything. Thinking back Draco was soon in the great hall and not his room in the slytherin dungeons.
He stood there looking on as he saw himself slowly approach them. He saw as he asked Hermione to give them a minute. He saw the way Hermione looked concerned for her friend. He saw how the boy he loved nodded carefully and slowly, but quickly put his guard up. He saw himself nod to Hermione and thank her, something he'd never actually done to the girl before, but realizing as he said it, he should have said it a long time ago.
He saw that the girl stood and waited for her friend at the staircase at the opposite end of the hall. He saw how Harry gazed off into the distance as he talked. Draco, watching this, noted that Harry really didn't want to make eye contact. He saw himself start to get desperate and watched in muted pain as he reached out to touch the boy one last time. And then, the next moment, he was sucked back to reality and wished he could go back to dream world, where the pain was muted.
~~~
"And in spite of things, he's taking you home,
cuddling close to blankets and sheets,
but your not alone, and your not discreet, Making sure I know who's taking you home"
Dashboard Confessionals, Screaming Infidelities
"Malfoy, what-" Harry started. Draco stood still with his eyes closed, his fingers encircling Harry's arm. He had slightly cringed as Harry had spoke, trying desperately to what looked like to everyone standing around to not kill Harry. Only Harry and Draco knew that Draco was trying unsuccessfully to savor the moment. To save it in his mind, so he could recall it at night when he was alone looking at the side of the bed next to him.
"Stop Harry. Please I, I need to talk to you. Tonight--. He stopped choking on the words. He could feel the stares of there shocked and confused peers. "-Astronomy Tower, you, you no what room." Draco, holding back tears turned quickly and walked as fast as his feet would carry him out of the great hall.
Hermione walked swiftly back to Harry's side and steadied him. He looked about ready to fall over, standing there whispering unheard words to himself with his eyes clasped shut. "No, no, no." Harry whispered lightly to himself. Hermione, standing there cradling him in her arms, turned him and walked him towards Gryffindor tower. "Harry, are you okay?" She asked him repeatedly but he didn't hear her until they were finally home in Gryffindor tower. "No Hermione. -" Harry said with a mock smile. "-I'm not, but its not your fault." He stopped smiling and went upstairs quickly, leaving Hermione sitting on the hard wooden chairs debating whether or not Harry would go tonight.
~~~
"Reading your note over again,
there's not a word I comprehend,
except when you say I'll love you always,
and forever."
I'll never understand. I remember the sweet nothings he'd whispered in my ears. I remember the way he looked into my eyes with such truth. I remember. But he's not here. And he's not coming. I kind of knew he wouldn't, but I had to try. I-I cant go on without him. He's part of me. Our relationship isn't skin-deep. It's in my soul. And I know it's in his too. He's just afraid too admit it. I can't blame him. Not at all. I mean, I did it didn't I? I went out with him on a bet. But that's where I fucked up isn't it. I fell for him. Yes you heard me. Malfoy fell for Potter. I.I cant remember not feeling something for him. Whether it be hate or love, but now that I've loved, and lost, I can never go back to hating him. That's what he wants though. He wants the bliss that was us to just disappear into the shadows.
God, he can't though! I saw it in his eyes tonight. I saw how his eyes lit up when I touched him. I saw how much he loved me still. I saw how afraid he was. I saw everything. And I can't leave that behind.
The pale boy raced himself off the trunk he'd been sitting on. The trunk that was the place when he first took Harry in his arms. The trunk where Harry and Draco confessed love for the first time. The words spilling accidentally from both there lips, but both boys glad when they realized the other wasn't going to run. He walked towards the door, and placed his hand on the doorknob. Stopping in his tracks the boy leaned his head against the door and let the unshed tears fall.
Contact me: Aim: CrashmeBurn22
Rating: Er PG-13 for now
Warning/Disclaimer: No moneys being made, the storyline is mine though, back off! This is slash; it's used regularly, just like het. If you have issue, then I don't want you on my story page anyway. Toodles.
Summary: What to do when a locker room bet turns into more. What-to-do. anything else is too much info. Sorry! Oh H/D. Duh!
Title: Bets and Broken Promises (at least for now)
"I'm missing you bad, I never sleep,
avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak"
Dashboard Confessionals, Screaming Infidelities
Looking back, I'll never see why I didn't just tell him. Maybe it was his eyes, every time I looked up at him and tried to tell him, and I must have a hundred times, I was lost in his eyes. I even tried telling him while not looking at him though, I'd decided this was the only way, but I so didn't want to lose him. And telling him was losing him. Or so I thought, and deep down I still do think that if I'd told him he would have left. I mean, why shouldn't he have? I fucked up. I fucked up, really bad.
Sighing the blonde boy lifted up his small frame from the chair. He got up and headed towards the mirror. He was a crumpled mess but he still held his pride or at least held onto what was left of it. Slowly brushing out his silver hair he returned to his thoughts. Well I lost all my pride but I still look good right? He thought to himself, smiling halfheartedly at the unshared joke. He'd lost his arrogance and didn't walk as if he owned anything anymore. He didn't see the point. The one person who he would have done it for didn't care anymore. He had tried to keep up his insensitivity as long as possible. But recently he'd broken. He'd tried talking to the one person in his life who meant anything. Thinking back Draco was soon in the great hall and not his room in the slytherin dungeons.
He stood there looking on as he saw himself slowly approach them. He saw as he asked Hermione to give them a minute. He saw the way Hermione looked concerned for her friend. He saw how the boy he loved nodded carefully and slowly, but quickly put his guard up. He saw himself nod to Hermione and thank her, something he'd never actually done to the girl before, but realizing as he said it, he should have said it a long time ago.
He saw that the girl stood and waited for her friend at the staircase at the opposite end of the hall. He saw how Harry gazed off into the distance as he talked. Draco, watching this, noted that Harry really didn't want to make eye contact. He saw himself start to get desperate and watched in muted pain as he reached out to touch the boy one last time. And then, the next moment, he was sucked back to reality and wished he could go back to dream world, where the pain was muted.
~~~
"And in spite of things, he's taking you home,
cuddling close to blankets and sheets,
but your not alone, and your not discreet, Making sure I know who's taking you home"
Dashboard Confessionals, Screaming Infidelities
"Malfoy, what-" Harry started. Draco stood still with his eyes closed, his fingers encircling Harry's arm. He had slightly cringed as Harry had spoke, trying desperately to what looked like to everyone standing around to not kill Harry. Only Harry and Draco knew that Draco was trying unsuccessfully to savor the moment. To save it in his mind, so he could recall it at night when he was alone looking at the side of the bed next to him.
"Stop Harry. Please I, I need to talk to you. Tonight--. He stopped choking on the words. He could feel the stares of there shocked and confused peers. "-Astronomy Tower, you, you no what room." Draco, holding back tears turned quickly and walked as fast as his feet would carry him out of the great hall.
Hermione walked swiftly back to Harry's side and steadied him. He looked about ready to fall over, standing there whispering unheard words to himself with his eyes clasped shut. "No, no, no." Harry whispered lightly to himself. Hermione, standing there cradling him in her arms, turned him and walked him towards Gryffindor tower. "Harry, are you okay?" She asked him repeatedly but he didn't hear her until they were finally home in Gryffindor tower. "No Hermione. -" Harry said with a mock smile. "-I'm not, but its not your fault." He stopped smiling and went upstairs quickly, leaving Hermione sitting on the hard wooden chairs debating whether or not Harry would go tonight.
~~~
"Reading your note over again,
there's not a word I comprehend,
except when you say I'll love you always,
and forever."
I'll never understand. I remember the sweet nothings he'd whispered in my ears. I remember the way he looked into my eyes with such truth. I remember. But he's not here. And he's not coming. I kind of knew he wouldn't, but I had to try. I-I cant go on without him. He's part of me. Our relationship isn't skin-deep. It's in my soul. And I know it's in his too. He's just afraid too admit it. I can't blame him. Not at all. I mean, I did it didn't I? I went out with him on a bet. But that's where I fucked up isn't it. I fell for him. Yes you heard me. Malfoy fell for Potter. I.I cant remember not feeling something for him. Whether it be hate or love, but now that I've loved, and lost, I can never go back to hating him. That's what he wants though. He wants the bliss that was us to just disappear into the shadows.
God, he can't though! I saw it in his eyes tonight. I saw how his eyes lit up when I touched him. I saw how much he loved me still. I saw how afraid he was. I saw everything. And I can't leave that behind.
The pale boy raced himself off the trunk he'd been sitting on. The trunk that was the place when he first took Harry in his arms. The trunk where Harry and Draco confessed love for the first time. The words spilling accidentally from both there lips, but both boys glad when they realized the other wasn't going to run. He walked towards the door, and placed his hand on the doorknob. Stopping in his tracks the boy leaned his head against the door and let the unshed tears fall.