Disclaimer: None of Glee belongs to me; I've just got a lot of imagination (and ADD).
AN: None of this is Betaed; I'm the only one who's edited it so sorry for any mistakes.
Brittany publicly asks the only person in their grade who's never called her stupid to Senior Prom. Everyone is surprised by who that ends up being. And Puck, well, he's also got a surprise or two up his sleeve.
Brittany's Perfect Prom Date
Brittany never got back together with Artie, calling her stupid was one of the most hurtful things he could have done. Her less than stellar academics were her one most touchy feature. Ever since Finn had been teased in third grade for failing a math test and yelled out that at least he wasn't as dumb as Brittany she'd been extremely sensitive about her intelligence. Santana was her best friend, and she loved her sweet lady kisses, but she called Brittany stupid all the time. She could forgive her because that's just how San was; she insulted everyone. But she couldn't love San completely when she knew the other girl thought she was dumb. They tried dating over the summer before senior year but it quickly fell apart. Santana wasn't willing to come out publicly and Brittany couldn't forget those jabs at her lack of brains.
When the Senior Prom was a month away and everyone was talking about it Brittany decided to find the perfect Prom date. A few boys had already asked her, hoping to get lucky Prom Night, but each of them had called her dumb or stupid before so she said no to every one. Since she'd come to terms with being bisexual Brittany didn't really care if her date was a boy or a girl. The only thing she cared about was if they were nice to her; if they'd never called her stupid before then she'd ask them out. Thinking it through she had trouble coming up with even one person who fit that one little requirement. So she asked Becky, who had once before called her Brainless Brittany when quoting Coach Sylvester, to print out a list of all the students in the Senior Year. There had to be one person in her class who'd never insulted her.
And there was! By process of crossing off everyone who she could remember calling her dumb she was left with one name. A name that made her frown and try to think harder about whenever they'd spoken before, because surely her results were wrong. Not that she didn't like the person left, totally hot and currently available, but even she knew that they weren't likely to have never insulted someone. They were a lot like Santana like that, always insulting everyone, even their best friend, all the time, but maybe not quite as bad as San. They'd gone to school together since kindergarten but she really couldn't recall ever being called dumb, or stupid or anything else remotely insulting to her brainpower, by that person. It was hard to believe but when it came to people insulting her intelligence she had a really long memory, like a rhinoceros. Well she'd just have to set it up so that they'd know who they were and if they had been mean to her in the past they wouldn't think she was asking them to Prom.
She made a pretty flier to help her get everyone's attention and then ran down the hall to her brother's room. Her little brother helped her use the copier so she had enough fliers to put up all over the school tomorrow morning. Everyone else was being asked out with really big things, Finn serenaded Rachel in front of everyone in the outdoor cafeteria last Wednesday, so she knew how she asked her date out needed to be big too. The next morning, Monday three weeks before Prom, Brittany went to school an hour early and plastered all the walls, bulletin boards, and even lockers with brightly colored fliers.
'Brittany S. Pierce is asking the only person in our grade who's never called her stupid to be her Prom Date. Please meet in the outdoor lunchroom to say yes or no today at lunch.'
Spell check was her best friend, her parents got her a computer that typed what she said to it but Brittany didn't trust the keyboard gnomes to write only what she said so she just did it herself. Then she decorated the message with pictures of flowers and cats that she drew herself and picked out all different colors of paper to copy it onto. Every hallway was covered; they were like pretty new wallpaper for the school. This way even if her maybe date usually didn't pay attention they couldn't miss her note.
Rumors and guesses of who the fliers were for went whirling around the school and by second period everyone had narrowed down the possibilities to four boys and six girls. San spent the passing period insulting all ten of them terribly. She didn't even give Brittany a chance to tell her if it was one of them. Luckily Mercedes and Tina were in her third class so they were there afterwards to stop Santana from being even more mean. Of course they immediately started asking her who she was asking to Prom.
"Come on Brittany, who are you asking to Prom?" Mercedes asked again as they walked away from their third period class.
"Whoever was nicest to me," the blonde girl replied dreamily. "I made a list, by taking off everyone who's called me stupid before I found the perfect Prom Date. Someone who's nice, and hot, and still totally available."
"Yes, we saw the fliers, but who is the only person that's never called you stupid?" Tina pressed again. Brittany had remained stubbornly vague all morning.
"I have to wait and see if they remember ever calling me dumb," Brittany explained. "Just to make sure. I'm like a hippo, but just in case I need them to come to me." Both girls just stared after the blonde dancer in confusion. Still, no matter who was asking Brittany about it, she managed to keep from spilling her secret all morning.
When the Senior lunch period came around, Seniors had lunch seventh period, Juniors sixth, Sophomores fifth, and Freshmen fourth, most of the Glee club sat around a table in the outdoor cafeteria waiting to see who was 'the only person' who'd never insulted Brittany. They left the seats on either side of Brit open for her prospective date and all the other tables near them filled up with curious classmates.
Two of the boys who everyone had narrowed it down to came over at the start of the period but Brittany quickly shook her head and shared when they had called her stupid (the first boy called her dumb in sixth grade and the second one had muttered about her being an idiot when they sat next to each other in science last year). Because everyone nearby heard her they knew she really did remember those things well and all six girls knew, or maybe just hoped, she wasn't asking them out. Even the 'nice' kids had at one point or another insulted her and they knew it. One of the other boys the rumor mill thought she might be talking about swaggered over halfway through the period and grinned at her. He was a decently hot guy who'd been on the football team since their freshman year.
"Hey Brittany, so I saw the fliers you made and-"
"They aren't for you." Brittany said without even turning around.
"Seriously, I've never called you stupid," he protested. Really they hadn't had that much contact at all, besides her having sex with him once in freshman year when he joined the football team.
"Yes you did. You told they guys in the locker room that for such a dumb chick I was a great fuck the day after I took your V-card." Brittany told him, and while he gaped at her for a moment, how did she know that anyway, he couldn't deny it. Some of the other guys who remembered it had nodded because they knew that he'd said exactly that. He was left to glare at her back, for spilling that she'd been his first, and slink away. The student population was semi protective of the blonde and semi jealous of her date. No boy was going to let a guy who wasn't any better than him date her, if only because they were hoping for some Prom night sex. Most of the girls were feeling protective of Brittany because she was so nice and innocent it was hard not to be.
Puck had been taking a make-up test for most of the period so he walked over about five minutes before the end of the period and threw himself into one of the seats next to Brittany. After a moment of silence he glanced over at Brittany, who had been looking progressively sadder as the period went on without the person she was really asking out showing up.
"So who else are we waiting for?" He asked her as he gestured to the empty seat on her other side.
"The person Brittany made all the fliers for. We've left the space around her open so they'll feel free to approach her," Rachel told him with a slightly pointed glare.
"Is there someone else?" He looked confused. "I mean, she said there was only one person in the whole grade so why'd you leave both seats open? Britt knows what she's talking about, if she says there's only one then there's only one."
"Thank you." Brittany was smiling again. "You know who it is, right?"
"Babe, if you ain't talking about me then you really do need two seats," Puck replied calmly with his typical smirk.
"Nope, I got a list from Becky and took off everyone who's ever been mean to me and you were the only one left," she said happily. So her maybe date did know who he was, great. "Will you be my Prom Date?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I want to go to Prom with the most beautiful girl in the school?" He spoke like it was crazy that anyone would even consider rejecting her.
"Woah, hold-up," Mercedes protested, "Puck is the one person who's never called you stupid? I don't buy it, white boy is playin' you."
"Dude, I'm so offended right now. I'd never insult Brittany like that; it'd be like sticking puppies in a blender, you just don't do that shit." He glared right back at Mercedes, "Brittany is brilliant, like, lights up the room she's in brilliant." And Brittany's smile easily proved him right.
"Puck never calls people stupid and means it, and he never says that the kids everyone else calls stupid are either," Brittany explained airily.
At the rest of the club's stares Puck shrugged sheepishly. "I can barely read, damn letters switch around too much, so I don't roll that way."
"He totally helps explain stuff when I don't get it," Brittany gave him a hug while Puck looked extremely embarrassed.
"So yeah. I've never called Brittany stupid, because she isn't. And we're going to Prom together because she beautiful and I'm hot and together we'll be the most awesome couple there." Puck slung an arm around Brittany once she let up on the hug of death and glanced challengingly around the table.
"See, he's the perfect Prom date: nice, hot, and not dating anyone else," Brittany looked proud of her success. No one mentioned how not nice Puck was to everyone else (or that he'd called her the most beautiful girl in the school) and they had an amazing, no a perfect, time at the Prom together.
AN: Yeah I gave Puck dyslexia for the hell of it. If he ever calls Brittany stupid in the show we'll just pretend that never happened. And he's calling her beautiful (not hot or sexy or something along those lines) because she's beautiful inside and not just out, this sort of ties to the whole 'when girls get nose jobs they're not as beautiful as before' thing he said when he was trying to convince Rachel not to get a nose job. I get the feeling he doesn't make fun of Becky either. Sorry but I'm still obsessed with Puck.
Read and Review because I've got all my stories already, I don't need to post them, but if someone likes one or asks for more then I'll post more for them.
There is no planned prequel, sequel, or continuation to this at this time.