Chapter one: Bella

I don't like mornings, and havenn't since Edward left. I hate thinking of how messed up my life used to be because of him—how much I relied on him. Now, I realize how bad he was for me. The situation I was put into was most definitely not okay.

My roommate and best friend, Hayley, chooses this moment to come in and wake me. "Come on Bella. Out of bed, now. We have our first days today, remember?"

I nod, and get out of bed. This is my first day as an RN for Westpoint General; Westpoint being the small town in Georgia that I moved to after high school and coledge. I know I'm twenty-eight, and this is my first day as an RN for any hospital, so allow me to explain.

I took a few years off from school when my dad, Charlie, started having heart problems. From the time I was nineteen, to when I was twenty-two, I took care of him. The day before my twenty-third birthday, he passed away. Then, after that, i started having problems with my own health. I'm okay now, since I have my asthma under control again. Nevertheless, I was not allowed to do much of anything for a year, because high levels of stress were a trigger. I'm on medicine now, so don't worry, I'm okay, and will be for awhile, hopefully. But, that's my whole list of excuses.

Hayley is also a nurse, but unlike me, she works in orthapeedics. She's my age, but unlike me, she went through the masters' program, and that's how we met. I'm doing that now.

I put on my scrubs, which are white. I mean, they're so white, if I look at them for too long, I get dizzy. I pull my long brown hair away from my face into a ponytail, and apply a little makeup. Then I put on tennis shoes, and rush downstairs in order to meet my group on time. They assign every new RN to a group. This group has someone from all the major departments. You are supposed to make more friends, and form a connection with other nurses, but I see it as a huge waist of time.

I've met the other nurses before, and they're all very nice, but I'd rather be focusing on my patients. I'm an ER nurse, which means I get to help people who were admitted into the ER. Hayley is in orthopedics, so she checks in on patients with broken bones and stuff. Kaitlyn is a nurse in the ICU, which means she takes care of those in critical condition. Sarah is in Labor and Delivery, so she delivers babies. James is in infancy, which means he takes care of babies. Tray is in the Or, so he gets to see all the surgical stuff done. And Rachel is in Post-surgical, and U-sert, which means she takes care of people after surgery. We have a full group.

We all convene in the lobby, waiting to have to clock in. They all start talking, and I try to pay attension to what they're saying, I really do, but I can't, because walking in at this moment is Doctor Cullen, and his "kids", including Edward. I heard they all worked here, but I didn't want to believe it. With a sigh, I turn my attension back to what Rachel is saying about how she and Tray could switch. I contribute to the conversation. "You know that car accident on highway 85?" The others all nod, as Doctor Cullen and the rest of the clan start towards us. `I had training yesterday, and I had to watch them get in. So, Kaitlyn, I know for a fact you'll see some of the survivors today." Kaitlyn nods, somewhat grimly, and we all go to the counter to cbock in.

"Bella!" Stephanie, a co-nurse of mine, runs up. "I hate to have to do this to you, but Ashlin's babysitter, Corrie, just called to say that she woke up for a hudhed degree fever. The bad thing is, Corrie has a weakened imune system, so I have to go home, and I was scheduled to be on double shifst today, and then on call tomorrow. I can't do that now, and Ellen sold me to asa you to take over. I'm so sorry."

I shrug. "It's no big deal. I don't need sleep to function anyway—that's why I went into nursing. Just, don't hug me until Ashlyn's fever is gone."

Stephanie laughs, thanks me, and runs off. Edward appears beside me. "You do need sleep to function."

I shake my head. "I'm an insomniac, so no, I don't."

I leave him staring after me as I go to the ER, in orger to meet with Ellen, the head nurse. She says to take patients 2.518 and b520, and she'll page me if someone else comes in. She also says that Shannon just did b518, so go to b520.

Patient b520 turns out to be a middle-aged man that fell off a ladder while chaoging some lightbulbs. I'm supposed to do standard procedures.

I grab a clipboard from a table, and check to make sure this one is empty. Then I enter the man't room. His wife is sitting on the bed beside him, whispering comforting words to him.

I smile brightly at the couple. "Hello. My name is Bella, and I'm a nurse here. I'm going to start by asking you some questions, and then we'll do vitals, and check for brain injuries. If anything hurts, let me know when I'm checking it out. Okay?"

The man nods, and I start the questions. I ask his name, aje, birth date, whether he was alergic to anything, describe the incident, and what hurts. Then he had to ign a form giving us permission to treat him.

I ask him if he can sit up, and he does. I see Edward standing outside the door as I put in the ear pieces to the stephascope, and set it over his heart. "Alright, Brad. I'm going to listen to your heartbeat. Just try to relax."

I finish checking up on the man in b320, and head to the door, only to get paged for an accident scene. I sprint towards the trauma unit, where apparently, I'm gining to cover while Dana takes over my pati"ts. I pass her my clipboard, and we switch.

I burst onto the scene, only to see Edwara, Allice, and Carslile in a fight with Jasper. Not surprised, I rush past them, already slipping my pager out of my jeans, and firing it up, barking orders into it, like the doctor I'm suddenly expected to step up and beddThe deal with trauma is that nursas are just as valuable, if not more, than doctors. And since i'm try to get my degree for being a doctor, whenever a crissis occurs in Trauc, I have to fly from nurse mode to doctor mode. I hate doing that, so I try to keep my composure as I examine the damages. O girl books to be in a state of shock, and she's clinging to her mother's hand. Her mother looks awful. I make a bee-line for them, while screaming for Jasper to go page Dr. McDermit. Ha's the neurologist, I'm just supposed to make the tough callsddI reach ! scene, and kneal to the girl's eye level. "What's your name, honey?" I ask, gently. "America." She says.

"Well, America...'" "My friends call me Rica." I smile at her. "Well, hello Rica. My name is Dr. Swan, or Bella. My friends call me Ellie, however." Shward looks at me, shocked. "You can also call me Elle." I add, desperate to make the little girl feel as if she can trust me.

I gesture for Alice with my thumb. "Okay, sweetheart. Here's what we need to happen. My friend, Alice 1so going to take you to get x-rayed, while I take your mommy down to the trauma center, where one of our doctors is going to try to make her all better."

She stares at me, curiously. "Are you one of them?" I can't help but smile at this girl's curiousity. "Sometime I am. Other times, you may see me around the ER as a nurse." She nods, happy with my answer.

"Will you take care of Mommy?" I can't hold back a ginuine smile at Rica. "Of course, Rica."

Then I pull the stretcher away from America, who starts yelling after her mother. I hear Alice also simplify her name to a cute one, that is more inviting.

The mother's eyes opened. "Are you America's mother?" I ask, trying to make conversation with the woman as I check her vitals, trying to keep myself in doctor mode.

As soon as I am off duty for today, I sprint to my car, clea%mb into the driver's seat, close the door, and burst into tears. I thought I could do this. I thought I had a handle on things. Maybe I was wrong.

Hayley unlocks the door with the code, and shoves me slightly along the so seat of the trunk so she can get behind the wheel.

"What's wrong, Elle?" she asks, studying my face.

"I don't think I can do this program. I'm not strong enough for it. I thought I was different, but I'm the same I was when Charlie passed. You knew me then. I was a wreck. I thought I had my emotions done with. I thought I'd dealt with it. But I guess I didn't, and I'm now the doctor on that unit for a week. If something happens to any of my patients, I don't know what I can do. I wanted to do ER work, not Trauma. I have no idea what I'm doing. What if I do something wrong? And with my past here as well, you know, I don't know how much I'll be able to take."

I start to have trouble breatheing, and curse. "Hay, we need to get hme. Now. I'm having an asthma attack, and my inhailor and stuff is at home."

Hayley slams the door, and pulls out of the driveway, heading home. After my breathing treatment, I feel somewhat better, and decide to study. I'm lounging on the couch in my PJS when the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it!" I yell to Hayley, as I stand, and make my way into the fawyer. Edward stands there.

"Hello, Ellie." "You don't get to call me that." I say flatly. He stares at me, hurt. "I just want to talk to you. It's important."

I lift my shoulders. "Well, shd've thought about that when you left, shouldn't you? I've moved on, Edward. My life is complete. And nothing you can say will chanhe that."

He leaves the house, and I close the door. I don't usually stand up to people, but with the knowledge that soon, I . have to as a doctor, allows me to believe for just a second that I'll be okay.