It Needs To Be in Park
Author: MoonStarDutchess
Oneshot
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA and gain no profit of any kind from this fiction.
AN: This is a real event that happened to my dad, my boyfriend, and me. It was so funny that I just had to write it in fanfiction form. Everything Riza does is what I did, everything Roy does is what Kian (my boyfriend) did and everything Grumman does is what my dad did. We are always playing jokes around here with each other and this was one of the more tame ones that I've played. I just wanted revenge on them for their lack of attention toward me in the incident. The only things that are different are that I cleaned out most of the cursing and a personal incident that happened. Hope you laugh because the real event cracked me up.
It Needs To Be in Park
Riza sat in the car, tapping her fingers on the dashboard as her fiancé and grandfather stared at what they deemed, a dead battery. She groaned as they took forever to indeed figure out the battery was indeed dead. Why did men have to discuss something for half an hour to determine something that they already believed to be true? She leaned back and sighed. Wouldn't it be so much easier to just go get a battery booster?
"Okay Riza, try the key," Roy said after tightening the battery terminals. She turned it and it didn't even crank, a sure sign the batter was dead…just as they thought. There was no use in trying to tighten those stupid terminals repeatedly. She moved to sit back up in a straighten position when something at the gear column caught her eye. She smiled and laughed lightly. She got out of the car and walked over to the two me.
"I can't figure it out, why would it go dead like this? The lights haven't been on and …"
"Roy honey," Riza said, trying to get her lover's attention to tell him exactly why the car wouldn't start.
"Just a second babe," he said, and continued conversing with Grumman.
"Roy, I am trying to te—" she started again but Roy told her to wait a moment yet again.
Since she couldn't get Roy's attention, she tried her grandfather.
"Grandfather the car is in—" once again, she was cut off. Not directly but it was when Grumman suggested that they go get the booster cables and a spare battery from the garage.
"Roy! Grandfather! I am trying to—" she started to say again and yet again she was cut off.
"Just sit tight love," Roy said, "we will be back in a minute."
She growled and watched as the two men walked up the hill and into the huge garage. She looked at the car and grinned evilly. They would learn to listen to her. She would teach them a lesson that they wouldn't soon forget. She went over and got into the car. After putting it in park instead of drive, which was the reason it wouldn't start in the first place, she started the motor. She shifted it back into drive, drove the car down the long hill, and made sure it hit against a tree gently. She then rushed out of the vehicle and made her way up the hill tussling her hair and clothing on the way back up.
She yelled for Roy and her grandfather and they came rushing out of the garage and down to her.
Roy grabbed her and pulled her disheveled form into a hug. "What happened?"
"The car!" she yelped dramatically, "It just started rolling. It nearly ran over me. It went down the hill."
Roy and Grumman walked over to the hillside.
"Oh shit! What the hell?"
"Oh crap! I think I soiled myself!" Roy screamed as they saw that the expensive car had rolled down hill and hit the tree. They couldn't make out the front of it so they didn't know the full extent of the damage.
They rushed down the hill and froze in their tracks when they saw that there was no damage in the car, it was merely parked against the tree. They looked back up at Riza who was holding her stomach, doubled over, and laughing.
"That wasn't funny!" Roy yelled.
Riza finally recovered from her laughter and smirked. "That will teach you men to pay attention to women more often," she said, and walked out of their sight.
AN: Short, but so was the real event. Anyway, I hope you like it and please drop a review my way.