Title: It's Better This Way
Author: heyya15965
Rating: T
Characters: Aaron Hotchner mainly

Summary: Sometimes death is better...for everyone

A/N: This was done for prompt 28 "a waiting room" over at story_lottery on LiveJournal. This is also non-beta'd. To CBS, please don't sue me, I'm a penniless college student. I don't not own Criminal Minds or anything from the show. Please leave some feedback. Feedback make future stories better

It's Better This Way

Reid was always the baby of the group. Even someone looking in from the outside could see that. He was the youngest, the most innocent, and the most optimistic. No matter what horrors he saw he always believed there was good in the world. The team was over-protective of him – always looking out for him – because they wanted to protect that youthful innocence.

I wanted to protect that youthful innocence.

So how had this happened? How had no one noticed the young man spiraling out of control? Was Reid so good at hiding himself that no one saw this change? No even – or especially – those closest to him?

I should have known something was wrong. I'm his superior. Part of my job is being able to tell when members of my team need a break. How could I have over looked this?

000

Ten people.

He killed ten people before we caught him.

He killed ten people in two days before we caught him.

Ten murderers who thought they had gotten away with their crimes had paid the ultimate price for them

Reid didn't even try to hide himself or his actions. He knew he would be caught, but he didn't care. He was dispending justice and that was worth anything. That was worth everything.

000

I was the first to get to him. He had just shot Adam Florence, his tenth victim – his last victim.

He watched the body fall to the ground before turning to me. He was a semblance of calm. A peaceful smile slipped on to his face.

"Make it a good shot, Hotch." He had said, pointing his gun at me.

Reid would never shoot me, but he wanted it to look like I had no other choice. He just wanted it to be over.

And I made it a good shot…

000

At least I thought I did, but if I had then I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be waiting with my team for that red surgery light to go off.

Something must have happened because it wasn't a good shot. Reid was still alive, and I can't figure out how to feel.

I should be happy. Now Reid will live. Live what? Live the rest of his life in prison as someone's "bitch"? Or live his life in a sanitarium? Living his worst fear? Living like his mother?

No. I should be happy, but I'm not. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed and pissed and guilty – at myself. Shouldn't I have these feeling about Reid? No, I should have made a better shot, should have seen the signs. I should have helped him, but I didn't. Now it's too late.

000

The light goes off. The doctor comes out. I stand up and meet him, my team standing behind me. I can feel the tension in the air.

"We did all we could, but he lost too much blood," The doctor said. "I'm so sorry."

I can hear JJ and Garcia break down in a fresh wave of tears.

Can hear Prentiss trying to comfort them – hiding her own grief.

Can hear Morgan lash out at the doctor, and Dave holding him back.

And me? I can hear myself sigh in relief and then chuckle. Is it my turn to go crazy?

"What the hell, man?" Morgan spits. "How can you laugh? Reid is gone!"

I look at him sadly, "Yes, he is, but if he wasn't – if he had lived – where would he be headed?"

Morgan doesn't answer, but slumps down in an empty chair.

I look at the remaining members of my team. They all seem thoughtful.

"It's better this way," I whisper. "For us. For Reid."

And it is.