Let me tell you this straight out: I hate Sally. Hate 'er. I hate Chris too, even more, but thank the magic pumpkins he's not in this fic. I couldn't decide between two story titles, so I decided that this FanFic shall have two titles. Remember guys, I was bored when I decided to write this fic, so don't be surprised if it seems very weird, which it will.

"When Amy Is Evil" or "Sally Must Die"

A FanFic by ERiN OPPEL

Chapter 1: Amy Gets A Dark Mind

It was one particularily sunny afternoon when Amy began to eat her strawberry Pop Tart and thought about why Sonic wasn't in love with her.

"Hmm..." Amy thought aloud as she took a bite of her breakfast. "I love Sonic, but he doesn't love me." Way to point out the obvious, Amy. "But why doesn't he love me? I'm always there for him, and I do my best to make him happy. It's as if there's something standing in the way between me and Sonic." Then she realized it. "Not something, someone!" She narrowed her eyes and whispered menacingly. "Sally."

She shoved the rest of her tart in her mouth and chugged down her milk. With her mouth full, she said to herself, "Te ony ay to get So-ic to luf me ish to get rid of Sawy!" Then Amy got a dark mind... She swallowed her food and grinned evilly. "Yes...Yes! YES!! AHAHAHAHAHA!" And she continued to laugh like some maniac from one of those old horror movies your parents make you watch because they tell you it's 'hip'.

Ahem, moving on. Amy decided she was going to kill Sally, but she didn't have any ideas on how to do it. "Hmm, I might need a bit of help on this. But who could I ask?" she pondered. Then the light above her head at the table turned on and she said, "I know! I know the perfect person to help me!" Then she glared up at the light and turned it off. "Darn switch. I better get that fixed later."

Amy went to the phone and dialed a number. Now, I'm not sure why Amy has Scourge the Hedgehog's number in her adress book, but I'm sure it's for a good reason.

Meanwhile in Scourge's lair...

The green hedgehog was reading his latest issue of Playboy magazine, when the phone rang. He groaned and answered it. "I don't want any of what you're selling, unless it it's pizza!"

"It's me, Amy!" Amy told Scourge.

"Amy? Amy who?" Scourge asked.

"Amy Rose the hedgehog that's gonna kick your butt if you don't help me right now!" Amy yelled.

"Hmm, that seems pretty long. How about I just call you Amy?" Scourge answered.

Amy groaned on the phone. "Just shut up and listen. I gotta kill Sally Acorn and YOU gotta help me!"

Scourge scratched his chiny-chin-chin and thought for a second. "Hmm...murder? I like the sound of that. Ok, I'll help you."

"Great!"

"Er, however..."

"Uh, what's the catch?"

"I can't just work for you for free!"

"Ok, how much?"

"Gimme 1 ring."

"Oh, Ok!"

"Per second."

"What?!"

"If you can't afford that much, then there is another way to pay me."

"Ok, what is it?"

"Steal all the bottles of liqour from the corner store!"

"Which corner store?"

"Any corner store!"

"The grand corner store? The one down the street?"

"Sure!"

"Is that your final offer?"

"Yes."

"Ok, fine!" Amy finished.

"Excellent! Once you get the liquor, come meet me and the others at my place tonight! And you BETTER bring the liqour!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Amy replied and then hung up. To make a long story short, she got all the stuff and headed to Scourge's hideout. She knocked on the door, then an small slit in the door slid open and eyes peeked out.

"Ya got the password?" whoever it was asked.

"Uh, no?"

"Oh, good, 'cause we don't even have one. Come on in!" the person greeted. He opened the door and revealed himself to be Miles, the evil twin of Tails.

"Well, well, well. Just in time!" Scourge told Amy. "Ya got the liqour?" He took a look at the box and growled, "I wanted liqour, not (choose one:) a: Crown Royal! b: Bud Light! c: Moonshine! d: Scotch! e: Scotch tape!"

Amy retorted, "(if you chose) a: But Crown Royal is a brand of liquor! b: How was I supposed to know the difference? c: Who cares? It's an alcoholic drink! d: It's the same thing! e: Well, you wanted scotch, which is the same as liquor, but all I could find was tape!"

"(if you chose) a: Really? Huh, Ok. b: Oh well. It'll at least make me drunk. c: Hmm, I'll try it and see if it tastes good. d: I never knew that. e: If I can't drink it, then how is this considered pay?!" Scourge answered. "But never mind about that now." He turned to his gang, who were sitting on couches, minding their own business. "Yeah, lemme do a quick intro. Fiona Fox you know, that's Boomer, Miles is over there, and Patch is the one playing chess with himself."

"Checkmate!" Patch said triumphantly just then.

Scourge ignored him and turned back to Amy. "Time to show you my plans!" He turned around and shouted, "Boomer! Give me... the plans." he said the last part evilly.

Boomer, the evil twin of Rotor, came in and got the plans, as well as a scale model of each of his plans.

Scourge grabbed the first model and set in down in front of him and Amy. He began reading the blueprint, "Plan A: The Last Supper."

"Uh..." Amy shifted her eyes uncertainly.

"We invite Sally over for dinner, but we don't tell her that inside every portion of food is a bomb that will explode as soon as I push the button on this remote." He held up and remote control with a single, red button on it. "And as soon as I do, Sally will be blown to bits! Hahaha!" He pushed the button and the miniature Sally model exploded. "And then Cerberus will eat the evidence." He said, picking up a toy cow and making it look like it was eating the remains of the explosion.

"That doesn't look like Cerberus! And it's a female!" Amy pointed out.

"Quiet! I didn't have a Cerberus action figure!" Scourge retorted.

"And another thing, isn't Cerberus from the NiGHTS series?"

"They loaned him to us." Scourge explained. "The drawback for Plan A: Sally is suspicious of the meal, or isn't hungry." He got his blueprints and model for the next plan. "If that's the case, which most likely won't be, then it's on to Plan B: A Shot In The Dark."

Amy raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Scourge started, "We tell Sally she's invited to a formal dance, see? We'll tell her it takes place in the old abandonned warehouse, so we wait for her there, hiding in the shadows. Then, when she's in position, someone turns out the lights and I fire my pistol." He turned the lights off on his model and made his own figure pull the trigger on his tiny gun. The Sally figure fell over. "And then Cerberus eats up her remains. Drawback for this plan: shooting someone else by accident." His figure shot the gun again, but this time at a model of Boomer.

"Hey!" Boomer protested, "Why'd you shoot me?"

"It's just an example!" Scourge told him.

"Why don't you shoot Miles?" Boomer complained.

"Hey, don't shoot me, shoot Patch!" Miles countered.

"Hey! Zat is not fair!" Patch frowned. "Shoot Fiona!"

"Hey!" Fiona glared at Patch. "You're asking for it!"

Scourge tried to calm his gang down. "Hey, it doesn't matter who I shoot, as long as it's Sally! Ok, if that doesn't work, then Plan C: Killer Klowns From Outer Space."

"Isn't that name already taken--?"

"SHH! Don't let anyone know that!" Scourge hissed. He cleared his throat and started, "We build this communication device that can only be heard by aliens in space. We tell them that the only way to conquer our planet is to kill Sally. Once they get our message and come to Mobius, they find Sally and kill her! And then Cerberus devours Sally's body and the aliens." He looked at Amy expectantly. "Well? What do you think? Is that a cool plan or what?"

"...Aliens?"

"Ok, ok, so there is the drawback where the aliens don't receive the message, or they do come but are smart enough to destroy everyone on the planet." Scourge admitted.

"What about the drawback where they don't even exist?" Amy hinted.

"They do so exist!" Scourge said indignantly.

"But--"

"Look, do you want my help or not?"

"Yes, I do--"

"Then shut up and let me do my work the way I want to do it." He grabbed his plans and announced to everyone in the room, "Tomorrow, we begin Operation: Sally Must Die!"

Yeah, it's weird. But don't worry, nothing gory happens in this fic. Remember, it's only rated for Scourge's mind.