Part 1

"We need to talk"

"Based on your tone, I'm not to sure we do" She stood with he back to him as she chopped up the vegetables in front of her, nothing about the tone of her younger brother made her want to engage in this conversation.

"Jesus… Jane… I don't need this" he was growling in a low tone, through gritted teeth. He was now at her side, she still didn't look at him, she still continued to prepare the dinner that she would rather not be attending.

"Frankie, I have a few hours before our family walk through that door. That means a few hours of normality left…I don't need you taking that away from me!"

"You slept with her sister?" he growled.

This pulled her attention from the preparing of vegetables to Frankie. "What?" She demanded the fury building in her. When he failed to explain further her grip tightened around the knife handle, "what the hell are you talking about?"

"Rachel... that's what i'm talking about… i asked you to give her bed while she was over here not take her to bed. Damn it Jane she's going to be my sister in law!"
Slamming the knife down she now turned herself fully "watch your goddamn mouth Frankie"

"Jesus christ...she is married!"

Despite her wanting to react she knew she had to contain this, they weren't alone in the house and the last thing she needed was a shouting match. "Look… i have no clue where this is coming from but you have it all wrong"

"Do I… not what the guys are telling me from the Dirty Robber? You have a good night last night huh?"

"i'm going to blame the fact you're god damn stressed and that's why you walked in here acting like this" She growled back, "the guys, they are talking shit, You know them…" she decided to dismiss his claims. She couldn't deal with this right now.

"I know you!" He accused.

"Fuck you Frankie! You're wrong! And you're out of order"

"Look... you do you Jane... Just not with her…"

"Stop" she warned him. She was losing control of her temper and this has the ability to escalate between them if he didn't step back, the anger was rising up into her chest now and the only think forcing her to stay in control was the woman he was accusing her of bedding last night being upstairs, and the day ahead of them was already going to be more than difficult without adding this to it. "Lets shelf this for another day!"

He looked away from her across the kitchen, he turned himself and lent his back on the countertop. She took this chance to create some needed distance between them, she headed over to the fridge- he was seething with a mixture of anger and frustration and this was only fueling her own cocktail of emotions. She ran her hand through her hair, pushing it back from her face. All she could think about was how she didn't need this - especially today, and before this afternoon's gathering. "Fuck!" She growled under her breath as she pulled open the fridge door, "usually people show up for a coffee, maybe a goddamn donut… not to call someone out in their own kitchen" She took two bottles of water, then turned back to him, not moving from where she was stood she threw it across the kitchen. He caught it. "If this wedding's getting to you! Fine" Jane attempted to justify his action of bursting in and attaching her without so much as a hello "I'm the sister. I'm here to be your punching bag to get you through…also fine...but don't come into my god damn house and accuse me of shit you have no clue about. Especially today...of all god damn days you asshole!"

This caught his attention, he noticed her tone had changed, for a brief second he saw a hurt he hadn't witnessed in a long while. The words replayed in his mind 'today...of all god damn days' He moved to step toward her, his mannor changing, "Jane...i'm…"

She broke eye contact from him as she blinked back tears that threatened to fall, she was losing her composure and the pity in his eyes that has now replaced the anger was too much for her - twisting the lid from the bottle she cut him of before he could say any more "I need some air" she turned, walking out of the back door and into the garden.

It was just before midday, there was no breeze in the air, just a still heat. The sky was a sea of blue, no clouds around to offer a break from the direct rays. Her bare feet sunk into the grass as she made her way across the lawn to the top of the garden. She had created the much needed distance from the situation in the kitchen. She sat herself down on the steps that lead up to the seating area.

She remembered how much Hannah had begged her to create this area, when the two of them had first moved into the house it was all she'd spoke about - five years in an Jane had finally given in to the wishes, she completed it and it was Hannah's favorite place to come sit, and waste away the summer days well into the evenings.

"Damn it I miss you" she spoke out loud. Shaking her head she let out a frustrated laugh, "you made these kind of gatherings a hell of a lot easier"

Jane was wearing a pair of Hannah's oversized jeans and her old white vest top. They didn't smell of her anymore, not like they had at first, when Jane first found comfort slipping into them, the smell faded too soon. The comfort of slipping into her fiancée's jeans and a baggy t-shirt after a hard day, a lonely day, or this day every year helped her - it was less frequent than it once was however some days Jane couldn't avoid it. "I miss you!" she said again as she ran her right palm down over the worn fabric of the light blue jeans. Her vision became blurry as the tears welled up, she closed her eyes, holding them closed for a moment trying to recall the feeling of her loves arms around her - she couldn't recall it -it had been too long since she had been in her arms. Opening her eyes a large silent tears roll down her cheek.

She wiped the tear away with the hand she had ran over the jeans, then she turned it, palm up and ran her thumb over the tattoo across her wrist.

"I'm sorry… I... forgot" the statement was thick with shame, she looked up to see Frankie stood in front of her. The anger he held from before replaced now. Jane didn't say anything. She didn't need to. moving over on the step so she was now closer to the wall she made space for him to take a seat next to her. He took the offered space, sitting down he let a silence fall between them for a moment. Then he reached out and took her hand, "I'm an absolute asshole and she'd have been the first to let me know that" He laughed sadly, Jane mirrored him, the tears came again along with the laughter, they were silent and few, but they were heavy.

"Yeah she would" she nodded in agreement. He squeezed her hand in reassurance and then let go.

"Why the hell would you agree to do this meal for me today?"

"She would have wanted it this way. You know she always wanted you married off"

"Only so I would stop being the third wheel with you guys"

Again Jane laughed, but this time only briefly. She didn't talk about her often. There was a guilt that was carried with her about this, as if she was letting her go. Moving on. In reality through talking about it made it more real and Jane found it easier to go through her days believing it was just a nightmare she'd wake up from. "It's hard…" she explained, "Every goddamn day, getting up is so hard!"

He didn't say anything, there was nothing to say. She lent forward and placed her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.

They sat for a few more moments before Jane took a deep breath and composed herself.

"You need to go" she tells him, sitting up straight she drew back the front she hid behind so well, "We have two hours before they show up here - i need you to grab the wine, and grab Pop from his hotel. I doubt he knows where my house is... we don't want him getting lost"

Frankie nodded his head, leaning over he kissed my cheek- not a common exchange between us - but today, a needed exchange of his reassurance of support. "by the way...Ma is on her way over to help you finish up the cooking" He offered as he stood up to his feet.

"Police my cooking you mean...Jesus"

"Would you rather pick up Pop?"

"Not a chance. Get back here before your In Laws show up…" Jane warn him as he walked away "I could just about deal with our folks … I don't need your in laws in the mix without backup thank you very much"

He was a few meters toward the house when he faltered, stopping he turned back to me, "About this morning… i was…"

"An asshole.. we covered it...remember!"

He nodded his head "Yeah...i remember. See ya" And with that he continued to walk away.

"Afternoon"

"Hey... you sleep well?" Jane greeted looking up from the tin foil she had been origaming to make a cover for the chicken that was about to go into the oven. With a shrug she decided it would do and placed the hat atop of the dish the bird was housed in and wrinkled the edges to seal it in place. she was sure her Ma, Angela, would disapprove anyway and re-do it.

"Very well thank you. Can I be any help?"

"No assistance needed, everything is prepped and ready to go." Jane stated proudly. She was thankful she had managed to get it all done before Angela walked through the door offering constructive criticism. I lifted the roasting dish and carried it over to the pre-heated oven slipping it in.

"Well how about a coffee?"

"Sounds like a plan…but take a seat… I can grab you a coffee"

Rachel put her hand up in protest, "not happening… you are putting on a feast for my whole family… the least I can do is make the coffee"

"Well i wouldn't say a feast... hopefully an edible meal... " Jane returned to her seat at the breakfast bar and watched as Rachel navigated herself around her kitchen. Rachel had been staying with her for over two weeks now. Jane had become accustomed to a not so quiet house in this time. Became used to a background noise that over the last two years had become alien. She forgot how much she missed it.

"You were up early today...everything ok?" Jane asked. She had noticed as she had lay in her own bed unable to sleep that her house guest had gotten up and left a little after 6:30am.

"Yeah just… couldn't sleep" There was a little hesitation before she continued "You know… wedding planning for the sister, family coming into town... that sort of thing keeping me up. Going for a run helps"

Jane nodded, "Yeah i know what you mean" she was unconvinced however that the issues listed were the only things keeping rachel awake. "Listen about last night... sorry it got so deep… our simple drink...it turned into..."

"it was fine" she cut Jane off, having filled the coffee pot she pressed the on button and left it brew, turning to face the brunette, leaning herself on the counter, "I enjoyed it"

Jane laughed "I doubt you enjoyed me using you as a therapist"

"I enjoyed it" she repeated, "I prefer the term friend... over therapist tho"

Jane let that sink in for a moment, she had been expecting their exchange this morning to be a little more awkward than it was turning out to be. Last night the weight of today's anniversary took its toll and Jane had opened up more than she had done to most people in the last few years, looking into her eyes Jane could see the sincerity "Noted..."

"So... seen as you brought it up… how you holding up today?"

"I'm…" Jane was about to say fine but for some reason Rachels presence made it difficult to lie, she felt like she could see through the barriers, "I'm ok i suppose. Easier not to talk about it if thats ok"

"Sure…"

Jane found herself looking back down at the tattoo across her wrist. she then listened as Rachel had moved back into the task of making the coffees, she opened cabinets, pulled out mugs, respected my wishes to not dig any deeper.

The journalist in Rachel had a thousand and one questions she wanted to ask. She'd have loved to pull out a notepad and pen and really get into it all - the friend in her made the coffee and then she changed the subject. "So...the parents are meeting today… you nervous" she asked Jane as she set down the coffees.

"I'm nervous to have my folks in the same room i'm just hoping the focus is on Frankie and I escape un scathed"

"Jesus...we're all grown adults worried about a simple meal with our parents."

"I'll always feel fifteen sat around a table with the folks" Jane explained.

Rachel seemed to nod in understanding, then she changed inject again "I… got a call this morning... Dan can't make this afternoon.""

"Oh really... that's a shame" "

"I hope it doesn't mess any of your plans up" She apologise to Jane in a manner that gave the host of the meal way more credit, as if she had accurately catered for a certain number of people, the reality is she cooked in bulk and hoped they didn't run out…. Left overs were welcome.

"No… not at all... I mean… I always overcook anyway so just more leftovers. Is everything ok?" Last Jane had heard Rachels husband was going to be making an appearance this afternoon, he was heading in from New York. The wedding was in three days.

"Yeah everything's fine...just work - something came up - he will head down Friday ready for the wedding Saturday"

"Well can't be helped… I mean I know more than anyone what it's like having work get in the way."

Before anymore can be said the front door to the house opened, "Hello…"

"Kitchen Ma" Jane greeted from her seat. Looking back over to Rachel she smirked "Let the fun begin"

Rachel laughed.

"Hello girls" Angela Rizzoli rounded the doorway into the kitchen clutching large bouquets of flowers in arm.

"Jesus Ma… you leave any at the florist" standing to her feet and headed toward her she took one of the boques there was then enough room for her to lean in and kiss her mother's cheek.

"Well… i wanted to make this place a little more...homely"

Jane took the criticism in her stride and rolled her eyes as she placed them on the countertop, "Yes god forbid my home stay pollen free . Lilly's are exactly what my hayfever was missing" she responded sarcastically.

"Afternoon Mrs Rizzoli" Rachel greeted lightly. She seemed to be enjoying this exchange between Jane and her mother.

"Oh please...less of the Mrs dear...just Angela is fine"

"Sure…" the two had met a few times over the past two weeks, Rachel had been told repeatedly to drop the Mrs, "Sorry habit" she explained, "Coffee Angela...just made"

"By whom" she eyed the pot suspiciously as she set the remaining flowers down.

"Don't worry Ma… i've not been near the pot."

"Sure then... a coffee would be great. It's like mud, her coffee" Angela explained with a look of disgust.

"Well on that note...Ma you know where the vases are help yourself… i'm going to head up and get a shower and changed"

"Yes..get out of them old rags and...I'll bring some life to this place... will feel less like a funeral and more like a celebration that way"

Jane had just reached the kitchen door when her Ma's off the cuff comments halted her, it felt like a physical blow to the chest. Her hand reached up and steadied herself against the door frame, her mind filtered back to the time two years back when her living room had been filled with family dressed in black, waiting for the cars to take them to the cemetery. "Yeah... something like that" Jane mumbled.