And without further adu, a new humor fanfic just for you! ((Look, I rhymed!
And just took a whole lotta time!))
Heh. Try and make sense out of /that\ title. I said it to my sister during an argument, and she has yet to get over it. ((lol. she can't figure out what it means!))
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NOTHING!
Raziel: -_-; That's a double negative.
So?
Raziel: You don't own /ANYTHING\. Thank Squid for that.
I do too!
Raziel: And neither your sanity nor LoK is yours and you're a rabid fangirl.
... I think so?
Raziel: * nodding sagely* I rest my case.
.......... did I just lose?
Raziel: * wicked grin* Big time. * looks up* Wow. Long Disclaimer.
It wasn't worth it! * leaves to go cry about not owning LoK*
****************************************
The time: Some time before the Head Inquisitor claims Janos's heart for a valentine.
The Place: A random hallway in the Sarafan Stronghold.
.
.
Moebius: RAZIEL! TUREL! DUMAH! WHERE ARE YOU?! GET YOUR BUTTS IN HERE! ! WHAT AM I PAYING YOU MINIMUM WAGE FOR?! * to himself* Why did I even bother with a warrior caste? I could have just gotten an attack sluagh, but noooo, warriors were all the rage. RAHAB! ZEPHON! MELCHIAH! GET YOUR LAZY BUTTS IN HERE!!!!
* Turel, Rahab and Melchiah come running. Rahab is dragging Raziel on a dog leash. Dumah follows slower and tipsier while Zephon sneaks around humming "Mission: Impossible." Raziel, while being dragged, is committing acts that would, if he were covered in fur, proclaim him to be rabid*
Turel: * panting* Yes, Lord Moebius?
Moebius: * scowling* It took you long enough to get here! What were you doing?! * Raziel attempts to bite Rahab's leg*
Rahab: * tiredly thwacks Raziel on the back of the head with the leash handle* Sorry, sir. Raziel decided he needed fresh air and bit his holder. We just spent the last half an hour chasing after him.
Melchiah: * tosses Raziel a bone of dubious origin* Aw poor Razzy. You poor thing. * pets Raziel on the head and Raziel does the motor leg thing that dogs do*
Rahab: Sir, have you forgotten it's Raziel's time of the month?
Moebius: That's still no excuse! You're in my pay, and I have a job for you.
Zephon: * from behind a statue* We chose to accept the mission!
Moebius: * blink* Of course you do.
Rahab: * looks at Zephon* Sir, if you would fill us in about what you desire us to do...
Moebius: The vampires have gone on strike. They refuse to bake for the Guardians' bake sale. The demands their union leader is making would drive us under! I want you to go and "reason" with him.
Turel: What do you mean, sir?
Moebius: I want you to KILL him!
Turel: * pale* /Kill\?! * recovers* Of course sir. Your wish is my command.
Dumah: * glares cross-eyed just left of Turel* You idiot, he said /drill\, not /kill\. Lord Moebius obviously wants us to adopt him as our new recruit.
Turel: * very much relieved* Oh, so long as we don't have to kill him.
Moebius: I meant kill! Kill! With a "k"! I don't care how you do it! Boil him, drown him, bash him in the head, I just want the deed done!
Zephon: * throws a bomb at Moebius, and Moebius catches it* This message will self-destruct in 10 ... 9 ... 8 ... * all realize what Moebius is holding. The Sarafan run*
Moebius: Oh, sh- *the bomb explodes*
* outside*
Rahab: There's a slight problem.
Turel: * happy* Really? I guess then we can't kill him, then. I'll just return to Lord Moebius and tell him that we tried our hardest-
Raziel: ggrnowl! * attempts to "anoint" Rahab's leg ((think fire hydrant))*
Melchiah: * Rahab kicks Raziel and hands the leash to him* Yea! You're a good Razzy, yes you are!
Rahab: * to Melchiah* Don't encourage him. * in general* We don't know the union leader's name.
Dumah: * holding his head* Who cares. Let's just kill all the vampires we come across like we always do. Maybe we can find a bar on the way.
Zephon: * behind a tree humming "Mission: Impossible"* Off we go!
* Raziel kills the tree*
Rahab: * hangs his head and sighs* Why me?
****************************************
And that's the first chapter. It's short, but the next one will be longer. It'llll come sometime. *helpful* Reviews will make me update faster!! And for each review, you get a kiss from Razi-boy!
Raziel: * strapped down* Remind me why I'm in an electrocution chair.
I couldn't find the straitjacket.
Raziel: ...
Heh. Try and make sense out of /that\ title. I said it to my sister during an argument, and she has yet to get over it. ((lol. she can't figure out what it means!))
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NOTHING!
Raziel: -_-; That's a double negative.
So?
Raziel: You don't own /ANYTHING\. Thank Squid for that.
I do too!
Raziel: And neither your sanity nor LoK is yours and you're a rabid fangirl.
... I think so?
Raziel: * nodding sagely* I rest my case.
.......... did I just lose?
Raziel: * wicked grin* Big time. * looks up* Wow. Long Disclaimer.
It wasn't worth it! * leaves to go cry about not owning LoK*
****************************************
The time: Some time before the Head Inquisitor claims Janos's heart for a valentine.
The Place: A random hallway in the Sarafan Stronghold.
.
.
Moebius: RAZIEL! TUREL! DUMAH! WHERE ARE YOU?! GET YOUR BUTTS IN HERE! ! WHAT AM I PAYING YOU MINIMUM WAGE FOR?! * to himself* Why did I even bother with a warrior caste? I could have just gotten an attack sluagh, but noooo, warriors were all the rage. RAHAB! ZEPHON! MELCHIAH! GET YOUR LAZY BUTTS IN HERE!!!!
* Turel, Rahab and Melchiah come running. Rahab is dragging Raziel on a dog leash. Dumah follows slower and tipsier while Zephon sneaks around humming "Mission: Impossible." Raziel, while being dragged, is committing acts that would, if he were covered in fur, proclaim him to be rabid*
Turel: * panting* Yes, Lord Moebius?
Moebius: * scowling* It took you long enough to get here! What were you doing?! * Raziel attempts to bite Rahab's leg*
Rahab: * tiredly thwacks Raziel on the back of the head with the leash handle* Sorry, sir. Raziel decided he needed fresh air and bit his holder. We just spent the last half an hour chasing after him.
Melchiah: * tosses Raziel a bone of dubious origin* Aw poor Razzy. You poor thing. * pets Raziel on the head and Raziel does the motor leg thing that dogs do*
Rahab: Sir, have you forgotten it's Raziel's time of the month?
Moebius: That's still no excuse! You're in my pay, and I have a job for you.
Zephon: * from behind a statue* We chose to accept the mission!
Moebius: * blink* Of course you do.
Rahab: * looks at Zephon* Sir, if you would fill us in about what you desire us to do...
Moebius: The vampires have gone on strike. They refuse to bake for the Guardians' bake sale. The demands their union leader is making would drive us under! I want you to go and "reason" with him.
Turel: What do you mean, sir?
Moebius: I want you to KILL him!
Turel: * pale* /Kill\?! * recovers* Of course sir. Your wish is my command.
Dumah: * glares cross-eyed just left of Turel* You idiot, he said /drill\, not /kill\. Lord Moebius obviously wants us to adopt him as our new recruit.
Turel: * very much relieved* Oh, so long as we don't have to kill him.
Moebius: I meant kill! Kill! With a "k"! I don't care how you do it! Boil him, drown him, bash him in the head, I just want the deed done!
Zephon: * throws a bomb at Moebius, and Moebius catches it* This message will self-destruct in 10 ... 9 ... 8 ... * all realize what Moebius is holding. The Sarafan run*
Moebius: Oh, sh- *the bomb explodes*
* outside*
Rahab: There's a slight problem.
Turel: * happy* Really? I guess then we can't kill him, then. I'll just return to Lord Moebius and tell him that we tried our hardest-
Raziel: ggrnowl! * attempts to "anoint" Rahab's leg ((think fire hydrant))*
Melchiah: * Rahab kicks Raziel and hands the leash to him* Yea! You're a good Razzy, yes you are!
Rahab: * to Melchiah* Don't encourage him. * in general* We don't know the union leader's name.
Dumah: * holding his head* Who cares. Let's just kill all the vampires we come across like we always do. Maybe we can find a bar on the way.
Zephon: * behind a tree humming "Mission: Impossible"* Off we go!
* Raziel kills the tree*
Rahab: * hangs his head and sighs* Why me?
****************************************
And that's the first chapter. It's short, but the next one will be longer. It'llll come sometime. *helpful* Reviews will make me update faster!! And for each review, you get a kiss from Razi-boy!
Raziel: * strapped down* Remind me why I'm in an electrocution chair.
I couldn't find the straitjacket.
Raziel: ...