Whatever happened to Miss Kitty?
Fayth moonwitch@werewolf.co.uk
Paring: W/S
Not sure of rating, Miss Kitty's mom was an alley cat so she knows some spectacular swearwords.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I owned Spike do you think I'd be wasting time writing fan fiction?
Dedication: For my sister Sophie (aka little Dawnie) who seems seriously depressed.
Distribution: Redssoulmates, Breathe, liveforme,
First up, I'd like to say that this isn't my fault. I was perfectly normal before all this happened.
How they thought that it wouldn't change me- I have no idea. I mean they had changed and so had all the people around them, so why they thought that their magic wouldn't interfere with their pets… Witches!
Let me start at the beginning. My name is Miss Kitty Fantastico. Yeah, yeah I know but I didn't choose the name- could have been worse; I could have been named Buffy! That really would have impressed the alley cats.
So anyway I was the runt of the litter, my mom was a bitch (actually a Cat- but you know what I mean.) and I was taken to this pet shop. One day I was sitting there with my fifteen brothers and sisters being ignored in favour of other cute pets, when I happened to sneeze and was immediately singled out by this girl who declared it the cutest thing she had ever seen. She picked me up and took me over to her friend.
Now I'm a cat of the world but I seriously thought these two were friends, maybe roommates. Not lovers. They just didn't vibe well together as potential bed buddies.
They took me home. The one who thought I was cute was called Willow- now that's a good name for a cat. And her "friend" Tara- that's not a good name for anybody. Ok so I don't actually offend anybody I do like the name… no actually I forget I'm a cat I couldn't give a mouse's ass who I offend.
It wasn't long before I realised that I was bunking with two witches. All fine and dandy so far- except you have to realise that I was a kitten- a curious kitten. Always poking around where I wasn't supposed to be and licking… accidentally discarded urns and bowls and droplets of Isis knows what. The next thing I know BOOM thoughts! Intellect and serious issues!
Previously all I'd had to worry about was food, sleep and where the next tomcat was to take away my "itches". Oh and the occasional ball of string. Now I'm worried food, where my witches are, what they up to, if they have saved the world, food, sleep, how badly my witches mesh, more food and if the tomcat has a "future" or sound investment.
Life used to be so simple.
Anyway now that was my life story so now here is my reason for starting this whole thing. My witch isn't happy with Tara. I know it; she knows it- hell I bet Tara knows it too. But she did give up that freak show of a dog boy (Who I still have day mares about, incidentally, how could my mistress date a wolf? They are one step up from dogs and I still believe that he tried to eat me on his last visit here. I don't believe his "oh Wills I was just giving Miss Kitty a kiss." Sucker! Wasn't quite so happy about the ahem… present I left in his guitar case!)
Back on track, Willow isn't happy. And that makes me unhappy so I Miss Kitty will just have to find a new guy/girl/whatever for my mistress.
And I think I know just the creature.
He drops by occasionally to warn Willow of impending doom and she grabs her books and goes to save the world. Now little known fact that Mr "high and mighty hey you get off my duster" has a little crush on my Mistress, how do I know? Listen up to this conversation I uh…accidentally overheard.
"Hey Witch."
"Spike what are you doing here?"
"Watcher sent me to get you, evil's a brewing."
"Oh!" pause. "Why didn't he just call?"
Beat. "How the bloody hell am I supposed to know? I'm not a bleeding mind reader maybe he wanted to make sure you get there safe."
Yeah sure and my name is Fido. Book guy, who knows and loves my witch, sends the blonde pain in his butt to walk the sweet innocent girl who has the power to turn said blonde into a frog and keep her safe? Two words NUH and Uh.
Spike (which is also not a comforting name for a cat.) wants Willow to be safe. And why??? Because he has feelings for her, the same kind of feelings I get from a hot fire and a big ball of wool. Satisfaction, craving and stomach tickles.
Now the big question is how does Willow feel about tall, blonde and drool some? (I'm a cat- not blind.)
When she got back from the saving of the world thing, she was muttering to me. Grabbed me up in her lap and stroked me, behind my ears which are what I really like.
"Oh Miss Kitty, you are adorable."
Sure thing sugar, keep the praise coming.
"Why does he have to be so annoying?" Aha! "I mean we try to be nice to him."
It's not easy for a cat to arch eyebrows that we haven't got but I mange to persuade her of my disbelief all the same.
"Ok so they don't, Buffy is particularly horrible to him, especially after he told her had a crush on her." Buffy??
"Well he doesn't anymore, he told me that tonight. He said that he'd mistaken his feeling of wanting to kill her to just wanting her. But he's back to wanting her dead now." And why did he feel the need to tell you that huh?
"It was really weird Miss Kitty; it was like he was trying to start a conversation with me. So I asked him if he was ok- he was being all normal and stuff and then he got mad and started muttering about women and bloody trying too hard and then he got all quiet." Willow frowned down at me "I hope I didn't upset him."
And why is that? "He can actually be quiet nice and…" ok I'm trying to pay attention but she's rubbing my tummy just there and hey I'm still a cat! Stop musing and…oh right there… so Ahem! Spike?
"He'd never even look at me that way anyway, I'm not pretty."
Oh cats in hell, look Willow ditch the preschool clothes and you could be a total hottie hey what about those shoes Buffy bought you last birthday? Let me get them and we can see. Add these babies to a short mini skirt and tight top and Spike will be your oyster.
"You like my shoes Miss Kitty, you are so cute!"
Humans!
So convincing Willow might be hard, maybe Spike needs a little encouragement. I just hope his chip extends to animals as well as humans.
I wait until the two witches are doing… spells- sheesh and I thought Dogs had dirty minds, you humans are so much worse. Then I'm off out the window, down the pipe and gracefully land on my paws on the ground. Oh 9.7 for dismount.
The street is an amazing place at night. Hey Bitch walking here! Stupid woman I have a good mind to go after her and rip her stockings to shreds. As I was saying before I was rudely stepped on the street is amazing. So many smells and sights to see. Like a social calendar or newspaper.
Sniffing that lamppost I can tell that George had been eating at the Curry house dumpster again and Miffy is pregnant with sniff sniff Well, well Mrs Potter is gonna be pissed when pure bred Miffy has alley Kitties. Oh and it seems there is a new mutt in town, best keep my nose to the ground.
Ack cemetery's is there any where creepier- except a kennel?
So now to find Spike.
Fayth moonwitch@werewolf.co.uk
Paring: W/S
Not sure of rating, Miss Kitty's mom was an alley cat so she knows some spectacular swearwords.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I owned Spike do you think I'd be wasting time writing fan fiction?
Dedication: For my sister Sophie (aka little Dawnie) who seems seriously depressed.
Distribution: Redssoulmates, Breathe, liveforme,
First up, I'd like to say that this isn't my fault. I was perfectly normal before all this happened.
How they thought that it wouldn't change me- I have no idea. I mean they had changed and so had all the people around them, so why they thought that their magic wouldn't interfere with their pets… Witches!
Let me start at the beginning. My name is Miss Kitty Fantastico. Yeah, yeah I know but I didn't choose the name- could have been worse; I could have been named Buffy! That really would have impressed the alley cats.
So anyway I was the runt of the litter, my mom was a bitch (actually a Cat- but you know what I mean.) and I was taken to this pet shop. One day I was sitting there with my fifteen brothers and sisters being ignored in favour of other cute pets, when I happened to sneeze and was immediately singled out by this girl who declared it the cutest thing she had ever seen. She picked me up and took me over to her friend.
Now I'm a cat of the world but I seriously thought these two were friends, maybe roommates. Not lovers. They just didn't vibe well together as potential bed buddies.
They took me home. The one who thought I was cute was called Willow- now that's a good name for a cat. And her "friend" Tara- that's not a good name for anybody. Ok so I don't actually offend anybody I do like the name… no actually I forget I'm a cat I couldn't give a mouse's ass who I offend.
It wasn't long before I realised that I was bunking with two witches. All fine and dandy so far- except you have to realise that I was a kitten- a curious kitten. Always poking around where I wasn't supposed to be and licking… accidentally discarded urns and bowls and droplets of Isis knows what. The next thing I know BOOM thoughts! Intellect and serious issues!
Previously all I'd had to worry about was food, sleep and where the next tomcat was to take away my "itches". Oh and the occasional ball of string. Now I'm worried food, where my witches are, what they up to, if they have saved the world, food, sleep, how badly my witches mesh, more food and if the tomcat has a "future" or sound investment.
Life used to be so simple.
Anyway now that was my life story so now here is my reason for starting this whole thing. My witch isn't happy with Tara. I know it; she knows it- hell I bet Tara knows it too. But she did give up that freak show of a dog boy (Who I still have day mares about, incidentally, how could my mistress date a wolf? They are one step up from dogs and I still believe that he tried to eat me on his last visit here. I don't believe his "oh Wills I was just giving Miss Kitty a kiss." Sucker! Wasn't quite so happy about the ahem… present I left in his guitar case!)
Back on track, Willow isn't happy. And that makes me unhappy so I Miss Kitty will just have to find a new guy/girl/whatever for my mistress.
And I think I know just the creature.
He drops by occasionally to warn Willow of impending doom and she grabs her books and goes to save the world. Now little known fact that Mr "high and mighty hey you get off my duster" has a little crush on my Mistress, how do I know? Listen up to this conversation I uh…accidentally overheard.
"Hey Witch."
"Spike what are you doing here?"
"Watcher sent me to get you, evil's a brewing."
"Oh!" pause. "Why didn't he just call?"
Beat. "How the bloody hell am I supposed to know? I'm not a bleeding mind reader maybe he wanted to make sure you get there safe."
Yeah sure and my name is Fido. Book guy, who knows and loves my witch, sends the blonde pain in his butt to walk the sweet innocent girl who has the power to turn said blonde into a frog and keep her safe? Two words NUH and Uh.
Spike (which is also not a comforting name for a cat.) wants Willow to be safe. And why??? Because he has feelings for her, the same kind of feelings I get from a hot fire and a big ball of wool. Satisfaction, craving and stomach tickles.
Now the big question is how does Willow feel about tall, blonde and drool some? (I'm a cat- not blind.)
When she got back from the saving of the world thing, she was muttering to me. Grabbed me up in her lap and stroked me, behind my ears which are what I really like.
"Oh Miss Kitty, you are adorable."
Sure thing sugar, keep the praise coming.
"Why does he have to be so annoying?" Aha! "I mean we try to be nice to him."
It's not easy for a cat to arch eyebrows that we haven't got but I mange to persuade her of my disbelief all the same.
"Ok so they don't, Buffy is particularly horrible to him, especially after he told her had a crush on her." Buffy??
"Well he doesn't anymore, he told me that tonight. He said that he'd mistaken his feeling of wanting to kill her to just wanting her. But he's back to wanting her dead now." And why did he feel the need to tell you that huh?
"It was really weird Miss Kitty; it was like he was trying to start a conversation with me. So I asked him if he was ok- he was being all normal and stuff and then he got mad and started muttering about women and bloody trying too hard and then he got all quiet." Willow frowned down at me "I hope I didn't upset him."
And why is that? "He can actually be quiet nice and…" ok I'm trying to pay attention but she's rubbing my tummy just there and hey I'm still a cat! Stop musing and…oh right there… so Ahem! Spike?
"He'd never even look at me that way anyway, I'm not pretty."
Oh cats in hell, look Willow ditch the preschool clothes and you could be a total hottie hey what about those shoes Buffy bought you last birthday? Let me get them and we can see. Add these babies to a short mini skirt and tight top and Spike will be your oyster.
"You like my shoes Miss Kitty, you are so cute!"
Humans!
So convincing Willow might be hard, maybe Spike needs a little encouragement. I just hope his chip extends to animals as well as humans.
I wait until the two witches are doing… spells- sheesh and I thought Dogs had dirty minds, you humans are so much worse. Then I'm off out the window, down the pipe and gracefully land on my paws on the ground. Oh 9.7 for dismount.
The street is an amazing place at night. Hey Bitch walking here! Stupid woman I have a good mind to go after her and rip her stockings to shreds. As I was saying before I was rudely stepped on the street is amazing. So many smells and sights to see. Like a social calendar or newspaper.
Sniffing that lamppost I can tell that George had been eating at the Curry house dumpster again and Miffy is pregnant with sniff sniff Well, well Mrs Potter is gonna be pissed when pure bred Miffy has alley Kitties. Oh and it seems there is a new mutt in town, best keep my nose to the ground.
Ack cemetery's is there any where creepier- except a kennel?
So now to find Spike.