This is my first upload in a while - I've been too busy playing AA:I to have time to write, and then I was out of the habbit. I know a lot of you were expecting another "Ten Things", but I left my phone in my holiday house in France, so until we go back there, I can't grace you with another useless list.
This story is a bit odd. I've been really into Sherlock Holmes recently, (The books, not the films, although the new one was good) so I wanted to turn a Holmes case into a Wright case, and the characters just fit perfectly to this plot.
WARNING: I DO MESS UP ALL ACE ATTORNEY TIMELINES IN THIS STORY
DISCLAIMER: ACE ATTORNEY IS NOT MINE, NOR IS SHERLOCK HOLMES, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S IN PUBLIC DOMAIN ANYWAY.
A Guy With A Lip that's all Twisty-like
Sometimes things happen that you don't expect. People turn out to be different than you first thought. A so call "simple" case turns out to be one the complete opposite. Somebody obviously guilty turns out to be innocent.
Phoenix Wright had experienced all of these, but even so, when he got a call from Miles Edgeworth out of the blue, he wasn't really expecting what he was told.
"Wright, I have just been informed that Dick Gumshoe has been reported missing. The police are at a loss for what happened. Maggey Byrde has been arrested for his murder. I'm expecting you to take the case."
Putting down the phone, Phoenix called Maya to say they had another case, and would she like to come over.
" of course I'm coming over! Nick, I can't exactly not come over! It's a murder case, and Gumshoe is the victim! Wait, who's going to be the detective?"
"I don't know, Maya..." said Phoenix, rubbing his temples. He was exhausted just thinking of the investigating they would have to do.
---
In the detention centre, Maggey was just a pit of gloom. Getting her to say what had happened wasn't exactly easy.
"Maggey, please, just tell me what happened!" said Phoenix, at his wits end.
"It always happens to me. I'm always the one arrested. My life has just been a pit of bad luck since I was little and I fell from a -"
"Maggey, we know! Just tell us what happened!"
"But you don't understand! I was finally happy! Ooooh.... who's going to give me a little lunchbox with weenies this time?"
"Look, Maggey," said Phoenix, running his hand through his hair, "I can't get you off if you can't tell me what happened!"
"Maggey, if you tell us the testimony, Nick will buy you a lunchbox with weenies!" Said Maya
"Do I get a choice in this?" asked Phoenix.
"No. You don't. What d'you say Maggey?"
"It won't be the saaaaaaaaammmmme!" she wailed, doing an excellent impression of Ron Delite.
"Miss Byrd-ey? Could you tell us what happened, please?" asked pearl sweetly. Phoenix had completely forgotten she was their.
"Kay!" Said Maggey brightly, responding to pearl in a way completely different to how she responded to Maya or Phoenix. "OK, I was walking back from my shift at Tres Bien. I had reached the apartment building I live in - on the third floor. I heard a noise and my eyes just flew to the window of what would be my bedroom. There was Dick Gumshoe - arms in the air, like he was calling me! Then, - it was like I blinked - he was completely gone. Then," she sniffed "I went into the building and I couldn't see him anywhere!"
"Anything you spotted that was strange?"
"He wasn't wearing his trench coat."
"Really? That's not normal. I swear it's glued to him!"
"Shut up Maya. What was found at the crime scene?"
"Why are you asking me? You're the detective, aren't you?"
"Actually, no. I'm a defence attor-"
"Nick, don't be so boring. From now on, we're Holmes and Watson! Let's get investigating!"
---
Maya took her new role as Watson extremely seriously. She made them stop on their way to the crime scene so she could buy a note book. She came back holding a deerstalker and a novelty pipe.
"Maya, you have to be kidding me."
"In glancing through my notes I found -"
"I'm not wearing that!"
"It's not for you! It's for me! I'm Watson, aren't I?"
"Maya, I'm pretty sure Holmes was the one with the hat."
"Really? I always got those two muddled up. No wonder Watson always seemed like the assistant." Phoenix sighed, but they had reached the crime scene, so he didn't comment.
"Where's the detective?" Phoenix asked nobody in particular.
"Good gracious!" Laughed Maya/Watson. "Maybe the police force only had one detective after all!"
"So you're claiming we can just come in and snoop without any detective stopping us?"
"Looks like it!"
"But what about the autopsy report? How are we going to get that?"
"Nick! No body, no report. Duh!"
"Oh, yeah." Said Phoenix, feeling like a total lemon.
"Right then, Holmes, shall we investigate?" She said. She started scuttling around the crime scene, making completely useless observations, speaking in a posh British accent. "I see the inward twist of the defendant's footprint here."
"Maya, there's nothing there."
"Exactly! And that's why it's so suspicious! Don't you think there should be footprints?"
"We're on floorboards."
"Ni-iiiick! Use your imagination!" Their so-called "investigation" continued in this way, even though Phoenix was sure they had seen everything they could. For example, at the end of the corridor the window had been shattered - it was possible that was how the killer escaped. Apparently this was far too obvious to be a clue, so Maya paid no attention to his examinations at all. Phoenix was just relieved when a detective arrived on the scene. Maybe they could simply get information out of them?
(NB. This is where all Ace Attorney timelines get messed up, but I couldn't resist)
The detective in question just looked plain grumpy. She was wearing pink glasses and a lab coat.
"Ema!" he exclaimed.
"Mr Wright! Long time no see!"
"Nick, who is this?" Asked Maya, bounding over from where she was examining a potted fern with her mantagma "magnifying glass".
"I'm Ema Skye. Detective. Mr. Wright defended my older sister when she was on trial for murder. You must be Mr. Wright's assistant?"
"I'm no assistant! I'm Dr. Watson!" Phoenix face-palmed. Did she have to act so... crazy?
"Right. Oh-kaaaaay! Anyway, Mr. Wright, anything I can do to help?" This was too good to be true. The detective was offering information - not having been tricked or guilted into giving it.
"Well, could you give us all the information on this case?"
"Nick! I thought you were an investigator! Find it out yourself!" said Maya, puffing out her cheeks, and rolling her eyes at the same time.
"Please?" Phoenix added, ignoring Maya.
"Sure - it's the least I could do!" Said Ema, smiling. "Ok, then. I'm assuming you've talked with our witness?"
"You mean the defendant?"
"No. I'm talking about the witness - a busker. At the time he was outside the defendant's apartment. He's a weird-looking man - he does very well gaining pity from passing people, although he can't play the guitar to save his life."
"How does he manage that?"
"Well, he's a really strange looking man, so he grabs your attention. He's got really messy hair, a pretty much orange face , and the right side of his lip is permanently twisted upwards."
"I've seen him before!" squealed Maya. "I call him 'The Guy with a lip that's all twisty-like!"
"Creative." Muttered Phoenix.
"Nick! You must have seen him! He's located, like, right outside your office!"
"Well, I've never seen him."
"Nick, you old fogy! You don't know anything about the outside world, do you?"
"Hey! I know more than Pearl!" There was a ping-ing sound, and both Phoenix and Maya were it on the forehead by snacks the shape of - well, you know.
"Excuse me!" Said Ema, grumpy, "Can you two at least listen to what I'm telling you?"
"Sorry, Ema." Said Phoenix, rubbing his head at the point the food had struck "What was that anyway?"
"A snackoo." She said, cramming a dozen in her mouth. "Want one?" she asked through her full mouth, extending the bag towards him.
"No thanks, I'm good."
"Can I try one?" asked Maya eagerly
"No." Said Ema stubbornly "For people who have saved my life only."
"But Niiiiick!" Said Maya, turning instead to Phoenix.
"Don't look at me, she's the one not letting you have one!" Maya crossed her arms and pouted, before going off to examine a "suspicious" shape on the bank of a nearby river.
"So, Ema, what did the witness say?"
"Ask him yourself - you'll probably see him on the way back to the office if what erm... Watson says is true."
"It's Maya. She's just into murder mysteries at the moment."
"Ah." Said Ema, understanding. "Thought it was a bit of an unfortunate title." She trailed of, focusing, instead on her almost-empty back of snacks.
"Er... Ema? Case details?"
"Right. Well, nothing was seen in the official investigations, except a bit of copper supposedly spilt by the witness." Phoenix was afraid to point out the contradiction in what she had just said, but knew he must.
"and... what about the unofficial investigations?" He asked tentatively, "still into science?"
"Mr. Wright you know me too well! I've been waiting for you to come before doing some forensics." She smiled, putting her pink glasses down over her eyes in an "I-mean-business" kind of way. "So, luminol or fingerprint powder?"
"Thanks, Ema, you're the best! Can I use the luminol - there's something I want to check..."
"Sure thing!" Said Ema, handing him a spray bottle and a pair of pink glasses from her bag. Maya saw the exchange and came bounding over, demanding that she should know what was going on, and wanting her own pair of luminol testing glasses. When Ema told her what they were for, she had a new kind of respect for Ema, and seemed to have forgiven her for not getting a snackoo.
Excitement bubbled through him as he started to spray the window for signs of wiped-away blood. He was right! A small portion of the broken pane glowed blue in colour! Spraying a little on the wall beside it, her identified what looked like a smudged oval. "Hey, Mr. Wright! That could be a fingerprint - it's the right shape. Look, here's the powder, check!" Nervous at what he would find to possibly identify their killer, he sprinkled the powder onto their print, and carefully blew it away. "Well, who's print is it?" Asked Ema excitedly.
"It's detective gumshoes!"
"Cool!" Said Maya, "But my findings are better!" She held up a grubby, soaked trench coat. "It's Gumshoe's! I found it on the river bank and it's weighted down with different copper and silver coins!"
"What on Earth...?"
---
Back at the detention centre, Maggey had some news she was desperate to share with Phoenix. "I got a letter from Gummy!" She cried
"What!?" Exclaimed Phoenix, desperate for any leads. "When's the postmark?"
"There is none, silly! I got given it by a guard - they said some guy had dropped it off, but the date on it is today, and it's definitely his handwriting! He just can't be dead!"
"Let me see that!" said Phoenix. "Press it up to the glass! I want to read what it says!"
Dear Maggey,
I swear I'm ok, pal! It's just not gunna be easy to sort this mess out. I know you didn't kill me, and get Mr. Wright to defend you again until it's all over and done with. I wish I could tell you more.
Detective Dick Gumshoe =]
"Well this letter changes everything, I exclaimed!"Yelled Maya.
"Maya, I'm pretty use that Watson didn't actually say 'I exclaimed'. He just wrote that so you know how he said it."
"Nuh-uh!"
"If you say so, I exclaimed."
"Ni-iiiick! You can't do it!"
"whatever." Phoenix sighed. "More importantly, this letter changes everything."
"I exclaimed."
"Maya, stop that."
"Fine."
"Good. Right, as I was saying, if this letter really was written by Gumshoe, then this completely turns our case around. His body hasn't actually been found, so it's safe to say that he could be in hiding or something."
" Nick, there's only one what to solve this."
"What?"
"We have to talk to the witness."
"Oh come on!" Scoffed Maggey, "Even I could have told you that!"
"So could I!" Laughed Phoenix. He had a clue as to where they might find Gumshoe. He had been taking Logic lessons from Edgeworth, and his entire hypothesis rested on the man with the lip that's all twisty-like.
***
They made their way straight to the "home" of the witness - well, not really, as Phoenix stopped to get a bucket of water and a sponge from the office on the way.
The witness was, as Maya put it "A grubby-looking fellow, eh?"His face was a kind of stained orange in colour, and was caked in grease and dirt. His hair was even weirder than Phoenix's. It was bright orange in colour and stuck up in all directions. There were huge bags under his eyes, and he had an air of utter madness about him. None of these was the most startling thing about the man. No, that honour went to the lips. The left side of the top lip was pulled up, as if held there by a piece of string, showing the yellowish teeth beneath, like he was permanently snarling.
The man eyed Maya and Phoenix nervously, as though afraid he might slip up. It started off pretty normally. Phoenix asked for what he saw, why he had no motive, his personal opinions on the case. The man had a gruff, strained voice. It was when Phoenix asked about Maggey he knew his suspicions were true. The man's voice went higher for a split second.
Suddenly Phoenix plunged the sponge into the bucket he had bought with him. Bringing the sopping wet item to the face of the busker, he wiped of all the grease on his face. Surprisingly, the orange tint to the face came off as well, plus some sticky-tape keeping the lip in place. They found themselves staring into the face of a very-sheepish-looking detective Gumshoe.
"I can explain everything, pal!" he said hurriedly.
"Yes, I think you better."
---
"It all started for this case I was investigating. A busker was a suspect, and I thought I could find out more about the case if I saw things on his level. I got a really cheap guitar and I tried my best to completely change my appearance. That was easy enough - I smothered my face with fake tan I found in Maggey's bathroom, then caked it in grease from my kitchen." Phoenix shuddered at this part, imagining what Gumshoe's kitchen must look like. "I thought that would work, pal, but I still looked too much like me! So I messed up my hair a bit - well, ok, a lot - and used some sticky tape to make my lip go all funny."
"What about the bags under your eyes?" Asked Maya
"Oh, that's just 'cus I Haven't got a lot of sleep recently, what with Maggey being arrested and all. Anyway," he continued, "I sat on a good street corner and played my guitar. You simply wouldn't believe how much money I made, pal - lots more than I would get with a day's salary! So I decided to do it again, and again. Soon it was like a tradition - a second job kind of thing. This was all a few months ago, and I didn't tell a soul what I was doing."
"Yeah, but why were you in Maggey's apartment? And why did you go missing?"
"That's simple. I was looking for more fake tan, and she spotted me. I raised my hands in shock. At this point, my trench coat, with all it's cash still inside, was flung on the bed. I dived out of site pretty quickly, but I knew she was onto me. I panicked a bit and quickly changed into my other-self. I didn't have the fake tan, but it just made me look paler, like I was scared about what I saw. I flung my coat, containing evidence, out the window, and pretended to be a busker who happened to witness a murder. Then I went into hiding so nobody could find out my secret."
"So pretty much you completely overreacted and caused a huge mess because of it?" Asked Phoenix.
"Pretty much." Said Gumshoe.
And, as they say, was the end of that.