Title:
Invisible
Author: Hieiko
Fandom: Angel the
Series
Disclaimer: I don't own AtS.
Notes: Written for
15minuteficlets'
challenge, Word#89.
Summary: Sometime during AtS Season 5. Spike's
still incorporeal, and feeling lost.
Spike didn't know what was true anymore. He didn't know if anything was real. He didn't know if he himself was real.
Walking around the corridors of Wolfram and Hart, he was mostly ignored by everyone, and didn't that just remind him too much of how it was when he was still human? When he was still the shy, poetry-writing William whose presence no one noticed until they needed someone to make fun of.
Things hadn't really changed, had they? And it's been over a fucking century, one would think all the blood and mayhem of his soulless days would have wiped out all traces of William that could possibly still be left inside of him, even if the soul he had now would bring it all back. And for the briefest of moments, he wondered if being a ghost would be easier if he didn't have a soul.
Wasn't that what Pavayne said? That the soul which blessed him, was also the one that condemned him to hell? What was the bloody point then, if soulless or no, he was still damned?
The point was, of course, there was a girl. It was always about a girl.
Except that this time, Spike wasn't sure which girl.
He'd given up his unlife for Buffy.
He'd given up his one chance at corporeality for Fred.
Why was it that he was always giving something up? Did he even still have anything left?
Angel often accused him of being self-centered, of thinking about no one but himself, but that was because Angel was a daft pillock. Maybe yeah, Spike knew how to look after number one, but he was also always the first to throw number one out the window when it really mattered.
Spike just wanted them to see him.