A/N: I apoligize for any and all errors, gramattical and spelling. I know there may be several missing quotations and apostravies, mostly in the first half, I was unable to edit for some reason once I uploaded on here and my phone is acting up. Anyways, his is originally a one shot as part of the FSOG Facebook Lyric wheel challenge. The song I was given was Kelly Clarkson Darkside and this is what I came up with. Hope you enjoy!

After a long session with Flynn this morning I am ready to face my husband. The sooner I get this over with the better. Flynn suggested that we have a group session so that he can supervise and try to control the situation if it gets out of hand. Meaning he wants to make sure Christian doesn't lash out and for him to make an irrational decision like he did when I told him I was pregnant. I understand where he is coming from but I have finally realized that this is something I need to deal with on my own. I just hope that his reaction to this won t be like that but if I know Christian, his reaction may be worse. Everybody has a dark side, even Christian himself and even though what I dealt with is nowhere near as horrid as what he went through, I hope he can accept mine.

For so long I have been avoiding this talk but as much as I would love to never tell a soul, it's time. Opening up about what happened has never even crossed my mind. I've pushed the memory back for so long that I sometimes wonder if it really happened or if it was just something that was etched in my brain from a movie I've seen or a book I've read. If it wasn't for the overpaid charlatan that is Flynn finally dragging the information out of me, I wouldn't be sitting here trying to come up with a way to tell Christian. Flynn has a way of pulling things out that not only you didn t want to share but that you didn t know was even there to share. Then again Christian wouldn t have lasted more than a day with him if he wasn t this good at what he does.

Seeing as Christian can read me like an open book, he will know something is up as soon as he gets home. I have decided to cook one of Christian s favorite dishes for dinner so we can at least have a nice meal before the shit hits the fan. Hopefully we can make it through dinner first as I am quite hungry and he would never miss a meal or an opportunity to see me eat. I have the chicken breaded and baking in the oven, the macaroni and cheese sauce on the stove top, and the vegetables are steaming. Everything should be done and ready to be served as soon as Christian walks in the door. Cooking always has a way to calm my nerves but nothing can calm them enough this evening.

I am having Gail watch Teddy this evening so that all my focus can be on telling Christian and attempting to keep him calm. Teddy is now just starting to sleep most of the night and goes down quite early but if Christian reacts anywhere near what I think he may than its best if he isn't here. I will get him from Gail once everything settles down over here if it s not too late at that point.

Christian arrives home slightly earlier than expected, just as I am pulling the chicken and baked macaroni and cheese from the oven. I look up to see him walk in the kitchen holding Teddy in his arms and whispering to him about finding mommy. He strolls around the breakfast bar and stops when he reaches me.

Hey baby, he swiftly plants a kiss on my lips. Mm, dinner smells delicious.

It s your favorite, I say turning back to the food. Christian do you want to get him to sleep and take him over to ail while I finish up here? I figured you would want to see him and say good night before she took him.

He stares at me impassively. Why is she taking him this evening? We aren t going anywhere.

No, we are not but I figured we could use some alone time. We can enjoy dinner alone with a few drinks as well I utter without looking in his direction.

Hmph, I think you re not telling me everything Mrs. Grey. I hear him shuffle away. I will take him over to Gail, then I m going to change.

When I turn to reply he is already on his way out of the kitchen. I know he suspects something and he won t let up on finding out but I will not ruin dinner so he will have to wait.

I finish getting dinner brought into the dining room along with a pitcher of water and a bottle of wine. Just as I am about to pour myself a glass, I feel his arms wrap around my waist as he buries his face into the crook of my neck. Leaning my head back against his shoulder, I take comfort in him at the same time giving him more access to that spot behind my ear that sends fire through my veins. Shaking my head I move out of his hold and finish pouring my glass.

Do you want some Christian?

Yes, thank you. He sits in the head chair of the table and takes the glass I pass him sipping slowly. So why are we having alone time tonight Ana? We could have done this with teddy sleeping here in his crib.

Teddy just starting sleeping longer hours and I thought it would be nice. We haven t had a real night alone in a long time Christian.

We have alone time every night, occasionally during the day sometimes too. He smirks at me but quickly shakes it off. I think there is more you are not telling me, because we didn t need to send Teddy over to the Taylors.

There is no hidden agenda Christian, can we just eat before the food gets cold? I ask as I dish some food onto my plate.

Alright then, lets eat. He shakes his head as he begins serving himself a plate. "But I know something is up."

"Besides the tent in your pants? No, nothing is up." I smirk before shoveling more food in my mouth.

"Oh baby, when your around I'm always up. i just can't help it, your sexy as hell no matter what your doing even when you piss me off or are hiding things from me."

We manage to get through dinner with casual conversation and even a few laughs. After finishing off my plate and Christian finishing off a second helping, i begin clearing the table off. I leave everything in the sink to be cleaned later and grab another bottle a wine as well as the dessert before meeting Christian in the family room. Christian looks up, eyeing the plate im carrying that is filled with chocolate strawberries and cheesecake.

"You went all out this evening, havent you, Mrs. Grey?"

"Just enough to ensure you are satisfied, Mr. Grey."

"Well you didnt have to go to so much trouble, you always satisfy me baby."

Christian takes the bottle of wine, opening it and pouring us each a glass. I down mine when he hands it to me and refill it immediately. I see him eyeing me suspiciously as he bites into the cheesecake and releasing a quiet moan in delight.

"This is delicious, Ana! Come here, baby have some." I scootch over closer to him and allow him to feed me a mouthful of the deliciousness I made. I chase it down with another gulp of wine. Backing away slightly I try and prepare myself to tell him what I have been hiding inside for so long. Its now or never.

"Christian, there is something I need to speak with you about. I would like it if you qould sit back calmly and just listen. Can you do that?"

"Whats this about Ana?"

"Just will you answer me. No interruptions please Christian? And please try and stay calm. I really need you to for me." I say hoping that my words right now will be able to keep him calm enough for at least some of what I need to say.

"Yes, sure I will try. Will you just tell me already, I knew there was something on your mind since the second I got home."

"Okay, Okay. Just relax. Give me a second to get ny thoughts together, please?" He nods slowly unsure of what else to do. I back up a little nore and turn so I am facing him but with a little distance between us. Where do I even begin. From the beginning. Of course, that makes all the sense in the world.

I risk a look at him through my lashes and hes tapping his fingers impatiently on his knee, his lips in a flat line and something, maybe worry in his eyes, I cant be sure. "Let me start by telling you I have been seeing Flynn. We have been disussing a lot of things, but he finally got through to one very personal subject that I could no longer ignore or brush off. He shed light on the issue and how it has affected and become the reason for some of my other issues." I see him stiffen and his fingers halt as he takes what I am saying in.

"What do you mean you have been seeing Flynn?"

"Ever since the first time we saw him together, before I accepted your proposal, I have been seeing him. He hit a nerve that first time and it took me a while to realize that I should probably go back to see him. I saw him a couple of times after that but ever since the Hyde incident I have been seeing him weekly." I know thats a shock to him as he knows I have only seen him on a couple occasions.

"Your lunch meetings?" He asks and I nod as he puts the dots together in his head.

"Now please let me finish or start for that matter. Remember when you took me for coffee, our first date, after the photo shoot and we breifly talked about our families." He nods his head, either in too much shock to form an answer or actually for once obeying my wishes. "You had asked why I never went to live with my mother and husband number three in Texas. Well I did, I tried to anyways but I didnt just come back because my home was here with Ray. Yes, I wanted to stay with Ray and stay in school with my friends but I had to atleast try to stay with my mother. I didnt want our relatiinship to become more detached than it was. I now wish I had stayed in Montasano but I cant change the past."

I stop to take a breather and to see if I can gauge Christians reaction thus far but he is a blank slate making that impossible. "I stayed in texas for three weeks before coming back to live with my dad. In that time some things happened that I am now only getting a grip on. Before talking with Flynn I had pushed the nemories so far back and blocked them out that when they did surface I didnt quite believe they were real memories. Whe..."

"What the fuck do you mean things happened? What the fuck happened, Anastasia?" Christian interrupts me. I knew he wouldnt last long. I look over at him and he his sat upstraight, his hands balled in fists and glaring at me.

"Please Christian, you said you wouldnt interrupt. Let me finish, if you keep this up I wont have any strength left to finish this. My nerves are already gettibg the better of me."

He holds his hands up for ne to continue, still glaring at me though. "When I first got there every thing was good except I didnt see much of my mom. She was too caught up in her new marriage. After about a week her and Stephen started fighting constantly which made me very uncomfortable. I didnt like the way he spoke to her. Thye even started fighting about me being there. I felt wasnt wanted there. Stephen even came at me a few times over misplaced items, eating too much, not going out enough. The remainder of my time I spent locked away in my bedroom so I didnt have to listen to them argue or him start and arguement with me. I have ny suspicions that he may have hit my mother too on a few occasions, probably one of the reasons she never talked about why they divorced."

"Hold on. That mother fucker came at you, a defensless teenage gir? What the hell do you mean by came at you? Did that fucker hit you, Ana? Dont lie to me." He is seething right now I can feel the rage pouring off him.

"No, no. Never. He just yelled thats all. God this so hard to tell you. Please try and calm down Christian, theres more than just what I told you so far." He is now pacing the room, one hand on his head the other in a clentched fist by his side. "A few nighta before I left something strange happened and I didnt know what to do about it." I sigh, here goes. " I woke in the middle of the night, why im still not sure but when I sat up I noticed Stephen asleep in ny bed. I dont know why he was in there or why he was only in hia underwear but I just got up and went to sleep on the couch."

"Fucking Christ, Ana. What the fuck did that bastard do to you?" I ignore him to finish what I am saying.

"The next night it happened again, this time he was lying almost between my legs on the bottom half of the bed. Again I didnt know how to react so I just removed myself from the room. I cried myself to sleep on the couch and the next morning I told my mom I missed Ray and neeeded to go home." I now have tears rolling down my face thinking about what could of happened. Aside from Flynn Christian is now the only person to know.

"Did he touch you Ana?" Its barely a whisper but I dont answer. "Fuck! Anastasia, did he fucking touch you? Tell me now."

"No, I dont think so. I almost certain I would have woken up if he tried anything." Christian looks like he is going to be sick.

"I will fucking kill him. No I am going to fucking kill him." I watch as he pulls out his phone

"Welch I need you to get ne every thing you can fucking find on a Stephen Morton. I want it all. NOW" he shouts before hanging up.

"No Christian, please dont do anything. Nothing happened its in the past. Please?" I try to plead with him but hes not listening as he tries storming out of the room to god knows where. I jump in front of him, resting one hand on hia chest and the other on his cheek.

"Dont! That fucker hurt you and now he is going to deal with me." He states coldly trying to get by me. I start crying more, almost full out aobs as I rub my hands on his chest and face, stopping him in his tracks.

"Please, dont leave me, dont run away. I need you right now Christian, I need to know this hasnt changed anything. I need you to remind me who I really am. Who I am now. Promise me you will stay."

His eyes lock on mine, his thumb brushes away the tears though they are coming down faster than he can wipe them. And with out a second thought his lips are crashed on mine. Pushing me against the door jam his lips brushing against mine with passion and love.