Patient 19013

Disclaimer: Me? Own Twilight? hahahaha, good one! I'd be swanning of to Hawaii not remaining where I currently am....Thus making me a penniless fan :)

Summary: AH/AU. Patient 19013. The one everyone dreads dealing with it. So it seemed only fair in their twisted minds, to lump him with the new work experience student--namely me. Pandemonium results. Rated M for possible lemons.

"OK class," the teacher announced. "Lecture's over. Make sure you read chapters eighteen to thirty by next class. A quiz might be in order!"

Was he kidding? Chapters eighteen to thirty by next Friday?! That's a whole hundred and twenty-two pages of squinty writing I had to get through on top of my last assignment that failed to reach my teacher's desk by deadline day. I was only managing to hang onto the course by the skin of my teeth and this was just freshman year!

"Come on, Bella," Alice waited impatiently by my seat as I struggled to stand up. "We need to go sign our names up before all the good jobs are taken! You don't want to end up as a gravedigger, do you?"

I finally managed to get up, messily arranging my equally illiterate notes into an unorganised pile before sweeping it into my arms. "You're joking, aren't you?" I asked, with brows furrowed. "There's actually a gravedigger's spot going available?"

Alice was teasing as she followed me out of our row, only to have our path blocked by the few who'd rather stand in the middle of the way and chat. "With the amount of interest you're giving this, it almost seems that gravedigger's jobs taken. You're gonna crush Mike's hopes. You know he's always wanted to work in a cemetery."

I turned around to scowl at Alice and her cute smile, knowing her well enough to see through her innocent act. I was so busy glaring that I didn't notice I was being called, until a finger nudged me from the back.

"Yo Arizona," a voice breathed in my ear before I twitched uncomfortably. "Mr Warner looks like he wants to eat you up."

Alice's grin, if it was even possible, got even wider as she saw the man behind me. "Mike!" she greeted warmly despite my death-stare. "We were just talking about you!"

"All good, I hope," he laughed back before leaning and whispering into my ear once again. That did it. When I found the nearest bar of soap I was going to scrub my ear till the end of Sahara. "Except you, Bella.....You can have as many bad thoughts about me, as you want...."

His words were so cliche it was almost sad. Could Mike honestly never give up? I was and never will be interested in him, whether I'm seventeen, twenty or eighty. A part of me told me to shut up and suck up Mike's flirting like a man. If you squinted a bit, Mike might even seem rather.....handsome. Some people would've even be flattered that such a guy was hitting on them......but then the said person would have to be blind, deaf and severely lacking in a good lay to get past that annoying blabbering.

It was then I became aware that another, deeper voice was calling my name.....or rather my surname, but it didn't stop me getting whiplash all the same from trying to see who it was.

"Is Miss Swan here? She's been marked present and I urgently need to talk about her end-of-term report...." The sight of Mr Warner tapping a pen against a clipboard and surveying the large lecture room was beyond terrifying. For one, Mr Warner was only six years my senior and extremely good-looking. Two, the usual smile he had on his face had totally disappeared and three, he was saying my name with that pensive expression.

That can't be good, right?

"You guys go ahead," I nodded as I started to walk away from Alice and Mike towards the front. I think Mike wanted to call out that he'd wait for me, but Alice thankfully grabbed him tightly by the elbow was was giving her version of the indian burn. That gave me all the room I needed to slowly approach the mysterious and very much fanciable Mr Warner like a rabbit might approach a fox.

I watched him scan the room once again before connecting eyes with me. Giving me a brief, but polite smile that sent my heart soaring he continued his search of the room for the all elusive Bella Swan. Little did he know that she was standing just short of four feet away from him and looking rather stupid. I cleared my throat slightly and felt pleased when his blue eyes flew back round to me meet mine again, this time with understanding.

"Miss....Swan?" he asked hesitantly.

"That's me," I smiled but let it drop when he began looking at me weirdly again. Doing whatever a girl does when she's nervous (ie cursing silently) I looked behind him at the PowerPoint awkwardly. Could the definition for Enthalpy be any more interesting as it did at that moment? Apparently not.

"Miss Swan, I'm well aware that we're in college now and that rules can be bent a little provided they don't become a daily occurrence--" He shot me a pointed glance, "But we've nearly completed an academic year and I've yet to see any work from you, first drafts excluded since September. I'm slightly worried for you, Miss Swan. You do realise the final deadline for everything is in three weeks time?"

I nodded gloomily and willed myself not to burst into tears. Everywhere I looked there were posters pinned to the wall, the chair, even the bathroom cubicles all certifying when the final deadline was going to be. It made me panic, realising that I'd fallen behind so much that I was going to regret this year for the rest of my life. Most of the time I did get to do work was in break-times or whenever Charlie was sleeping upstairs and didn't need anything.

Mr Warner, seeing that I looked ready to cry, let his eyes soften considerably. "Bella...." he said, "I realise you've had it tough this year but even I can only let you fail so far, before wading in to help you. Do you need any private sessions? I'll be willing to help you. Wondering how to go about answering the objectives? Even better. I've got them committed to memory so darn it if I can't show that off at least once, before the end of year."

His joke made me laugh a little, and any thoughts of how he knew my first name when let alone an hour ago he couldn't place my face, skipped my mind entirely. Instead I smiled up at him before glancing at my watch and cursing.

"Shoot!I'm late to sign for signing which job I want for work experience! All the good ones would've gone by now!"

Truth be told, I rather wanted to escape him or rather the intense pitter-patter of my heart as it swooned in love. Could it be right for a student to be lusting after a teacher? It went against all moral codes! So sure he wasn't old enough to be my dad, but old enough to be a strong, protective brother....Aw stuff it. The chances of me ever seeing him as a brother were slim to none. He was my teacher, plain and simple. A hot one at that, but what did I care? It wasn't like I was going to act on a stupid whimsical crush....

Mr Warner smiled at me, and I couldn't but gasp inwardly at how page-3 boy he looked. God, this was wrong to the highest degree....

"It's alright, Bella. You can go. We'll pick this up another time."

I was already running to the door by then, waving an awkward arm behind me whilst I tried not to let my book slip from my hands. Running through the building was a nightmare. Everytime I saw a rare person, I would slow down my running and pretend I was walking all along, not wanting to be yelled at un-necessarily. The moment they were out of sight though, I was running like a cat on fire.

Turning the last corner to the massive noticeboard out in the hallway, I jogged to the piece of paper pinned to it and bent over, trying to reclaim my breath. "Shoot," I gasped, "I need a pen...."

Fishing one out of my bag was a different story altogether. Peering teary-eyed at the notice-board I desperately peered at the list of two hundred names already written. "No, No, No..." I quietly groaned when I noticed surgical accomplice (my number one choice) had been taken. Pharmacist, doctor's assistant and chemical engineer had all been taken as well. Alongside every other assistant concerning medicine or chemical technocracy's. With hollow mirth, I realised even grave-digger had been snapped up by none other than our very own Mike Newton.

"Okay, Damage control...." I muttered, running my uncapped pen down the list for the scant jobs that had yet to be taken. Good, florist had yet to be taken alongside pianist cleaning. Two jobs that I wasn't keen on but was MUCH better than signing for the only other one that hadn't been taken.....an assistant at the local Mental Institution Ward. Whoever put that up there, was clearly flogging a dead horse. Who would want to end up surrounded by mad people?!

"Florist, or pianist cleaner..." I deliberated, chewing on my lip so hard that I didn't notice the pen being plucked right out of hand. It was only till I was unceremoniously shoved aside did I notice my surroundings.

"Sorry, doll," Jessica breezed in, not sounding sorry at all. She bent over and wrote her name by the florist slot, her tongue sticking out in concentration.

"What are you doing?" I asked, all of a sudden petrified as Jessica went on to scrawl Lauren's name by the pianist slot. My glares would have been so toxic that I was surprised her brownish-red hair hadn't caught on fire yet. She turned around to face me and I couldn't help but sink back in oppression. How could I argue against a barbie, a short-skirt wearing, wild-party-lovin' kind of variety?

It was potentially suicidal.

"Aw gee," she said in mock resignation, "So you end up at the loony bin, poor girl."

Er, hello? If you hadn't grabbed my pen and shoved me out of the way this wouldn't even be happening!

"A Mental Institute...." I said faintly before deciding to make an re-acquaintance with my long lost friend----the floor.

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