L is for Little Piece of Heaven-- Avenged Sevenfold
Fandom: Webcomic -- Sexy Losers
Pairing: ShiunjiXIshida
Rant: Okay, for one, I love this web comic, so much, and I'm very, very upset that it's not there anymore. Or at least I haven't been able to get the links and such to work. If anyone has managed to get the website to load since I last tried, which was forever ago. Okay, no wait, I got it, it's there again! HUZZAH CLAY! You've done what Animespiral has failed to do, you came back!
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Dear god, she hated him so much. And she was going to get revenge.
After what he did to her neck…!!!
Either way, she was kind of obligated to kill him, in the least.
Maybe maim him a little bit…
Yuuko didn't bother sneaking, she just knocked, that stupid fairy begging her the whole way to reconsider her actions as she beat the hell out of that bastard's sicko father and tied him up. Then she spent the rest of the day sharpening her knives in the closet her body had spent so much time in.
It was essential to her plan that she be in here when he got home, so he simply though she was back, just a simple taxidermy body.
She hadn't expected the love in his voice when he found her, the excitement and happiness. She really hadn't expected him to hug her and say how thankful he was to see her safe and sound and back in his closet.
The eye socket thing, she had expected…
She also hadn't expected to feel so angry and jealous when she found out he was talking to another girl on the phone right after violating her eye socket, thought the anger was probably directed at him, but the jealousy, that was new.
She hadn't really felt anything for him since she came back to life, she was angry, completely disgusted, and most of all, vengeful, but that had nothing to do with how she felt about him.
And yes, she wanted to kill him, and yes, he was being the disgusting pervert that she wanted to kill but at certain moments…
No, fuck it, no moments, I need to just kill him…
"HEY! I just realized something, does this count as S&M? Since I'm tied to a chair and you're getting all dommy on me?" he smiled and he groaned, throwing her hands in the air in frustration.
"Oh god damn it Shiunji, I'm about to kill you, I am going to KILL YOU! As in, dead, no more sex, and I'm going to cut off all your 'fun parts' and feed them to those wild dogs you hate so much." Yuuko yelled angrily and Shiunji went silent.
"So you're really not going to do anything to me but that?" he asked, frowning.
"Yes!" she yelled, glad he was catching on.
"So basically, you're going to kill me, cut off my dick, and feed it to wild dogs, yes?" he repeated and she growled.
"Yes damnit!" Yuuko screeched.
"that's a waste of a perfectly good body, isn't it?" Shiunji asked and Yuuko groaned again.
"You know, not everyone is a freak like you! Not everyone likes having their body fucked with while their dead! Not everyone thinks it's sexy to get it on with a dead person!" Yuuko yelled at him, aiming to wound him in the most base of ways but he simply blinked at her.
"Really? You sure?" he asked and she growled.
"YES I'M SURE!!" Yuuko screamed at him then leveled her knife at him. "God, now just die already!!!"
And she went to stab him then stopped when the Dutch Wife fairy flew in front of her knife, grabbing the blade.
"Yuuko, think about what you're doing, you're a dead body, a doll, you're still partially taxidermized! Who else in the whole world are you going to find that will love you the way that Shiunji does?!" the Fairy said in a rush in one last desperate attempt to save her job.
"oh I'm sure there's plenty of there necrophiles in the world." Shiunji added brightly. Yuuko growled low in her throat.
"He doesn't love me, I'm just… a giant jerk sleeve to him!" she accused, waving her knife around wildly. Shiunji frowned up at her, puzzled.
"What? No, Yuuko, I really do love you. Admittedly I probably took advantage of you a few times, but that never meant I didn't love you." he stated, seeping sincerity. Yuuko growled again.
"But you don't even know me or my personality! How can you possibly love someone without knowing who they are inside?" she demanded, waving her knife in his direction again. She really should stop doing that, she was gonna end up lopping off her own leg if she wasn't careful…
"I know who you are inside." Shiunji said, looking almost like he was pouting.
"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT MY ORGANS!" Yuuko yelled and he shook his head, smiling softly.
"neither was I, you're a kind, gentle girl who's easy to talk to and likes coffee and apparently, wild dogs." Shiunji smiled and tilted his head to the side. "And I do love you, I missed you every day you were gone since you disappeared, and I haven't stopped thinking about you, even when I was with those other girls."
"What other girls?" Yuuko glared, that weird surge of jealousy rising up again.
"There were a lot, I was trying to fill the void left from when you disappeared but none of them meant anything to me." Shiunji admitted (and while Yuuko hated to say it, he was probably the most honest guy she'd ever asked that question to) and shifted a little in his ropes. "I thought about you a lot, even when I was… with them."
"You're talking about corpses again aren't you?" Yuuko asked, kneading at her eyes again.
"You're a corpse too Yuuko." Shiunji stated plainly and smiled up at her as if completely oblivious that it wasn't a compliment.
"Shi--" Yuuko started, not sure exactly if she was touched or insulted, when a noise in the other room caught her attention.
"Okay, let him go you crazy bitch!" the door slammed open and Tomoe was there, gun in hand, and Yuuko blinked then looked accusingly at Shiunji.
"Who the fuck is that?!" she screeched, the Dutch Wife Fairy flying around the room in a panic.
"Tomoe?" Shiunji frowned and Tomoe smirked, leveling the gun at Yuuko.
"And what the fuck does she have to do with this?" Yuuko spun to yell at Shiunji and he blanched.
"Um, when I was rebounding, she happened to be one of the corpses--" he stared and Yuuko growled.
"she's fucking alive you liar!" she screamed, jabbing backwards at her with her knife.
"I told you I thought she was dead!" Shiunji objected and Yuuko glared.
"But you still fucked her?!" she screamed, in full on jealous mode.
"She was dead! I swear!" Shiunji stated defensively, looking to Tomoe for backup and finding none.
"You lying pig-asshole!!!" Yuuko hissed angrily at him.
"Yuuko, I swear, she meant no more than any other corpse I did during that time!" he stated and Tomoe scoffed.
"Oh fucking nice Shiunji! Thanks for saying that one, I'm standing right here you asshole!" she yelled at him and Yuuko turned on her, snarling almost.
"oh fuck you bitch, I'm Shiunji's… girlfriend!" Yuuko hesitated to actually say it but she managed and Shiunji's eyes brightened.
"Really Yuuko?! If that's the case, I want to make an honest woman of you!" he declared, looking somewhat weepy.
"What?!" Tomoe and Yuuko both yelled in unison and Shiunji, tears in his eyes, nodded.
"Yuuko Ishida, will you marry me?" he asked. And in all seriousness, Yuuko almost said yes on principal, but really, it wasn't exactly the way she'd pictured getting proposed to. Corpse obsessed asshole tied to a chair, looking utterly sincere, in front of his ex-girlfriend or whatever this Tomoe girl was, proposing.
It was kind of ridiculous.
"Well this is officially the most fucked up relationship I've ever been in…" Tomoe sighed, kneading at her eyes and being careful not to aim the gun at herself.
Unlike some people…
"I'm so fired…" the Dutch Wife Fairy wept and Yuuko stammered at him.
"I… I um…" she gaped and her jaw flapped uselessly for a second and Shiunji shifted nervously.
"Please say yes Yuuko, I don't know if I can live without you any more." he begged, hopping forwards a little in his chair. Yuuko crossed her arms, glancing a little at him and somewhat self-conscious.
"You… you would kill yourself over me?" She asked and he smiled a little.
"Only if you promise not to throw away my manly bits." he answered and Yuuko considered it then spotted the Fairy sulking in the corner.
"Yo, Fairy, could you bring him to life if he--" she started and she cut her off, shaking her head sadly.
"Whatever, I'm already fired…" the Fairy sighed and shook her head. "And I wanted to be a dentist…"
"Then fine, I'll marry you but you have to be dead too." Yuuko declared, gazing seriously down at him. Shiunji smiled and nodded.
"I wouldn't have it any other way!" he stated and Yuuko sighed, stepping forwards and cutting him free from the chair.
"For some reason this seems a bit screwed up anyway…" she sighed and he swept her up into his arms.
"oh Yuuko, we'll be the happiest dead couple since my mom and dad!" he declared and she sighed but somewhere in the back of her mind, she kind of liked having him close to her.
"No wonder you're a freak…" she insulted weakly, and he squeezed her gently.
"I love you too." he murmured and Yuuko glanced over at Tomoe.
"Any chance you can perform a marriage ceremony?" she asked and Tomoe frowned, arms crossing.
"Well um… I could commit you to the ground…" she mused and Yuuko shrugged.
"Just as good…" she stated and Shiunji squealed, snuggling closer to her. The Dutch Wife Fairy slammed her head into the wall then looked back and covered her face as she cried.
"no… that's really what happened… oh god I am so fired…" she mourned.
End.
Okay, no, really, I loved writing it, and I'm of the opinion that since Yuuko's dead it's not really het! It's more like masturbation!
Yeah! Masturbation!
And also, I think writing the Fairy was the best part of writing this, also, more people should read/write for this comic! It's funny as SIN!!!!