Okay, simple explanation here. This story is NOT MINE!!!!
It's a friend's. Everyone whose read it gets a kick out of it, so I ask (forced) him to post it online for others to enjoy, so he let me do it for him. So DON'T HATE ME FOR IT!!!! Even if I am the one posting it, it doesn't mean that I hate Twilight, even though we do, I just think this is a funnier interpretation if it. If you don't like it, that's your problem, so don't harass me with hate mail we're way too stressed out for that, (and too lazy to bother complaining about it to you) so please, Enjoy!!