Don't Stay
Alright, this is a one shot fic that is pretty differant from other things you have read in the past. Well, I haven't been that active on FF.net lately so I guess I wouldn't know. It's really differant then many of the things I've ever read though and I think you'll either enjoy it or hate it.
Annyway, this is dedicated to Rogue77. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
If there are any spelling errors (and I know there will be) please don't yell at me. For some reason my word document is failing to underline in red my spelling errors. Plus, I can't save the word under Webpage so there won't be any bold or italics. :S The edity thing on this won't save it like that either. whimpers
Anyway! On with the show!
--
[Sometimes I, need to remember just to breathe]
She sat in her room pouring over a bunch of homework. So much! She had to get it all done before tomorrow but her mind was elsewhere, it was everywhere. So much to do, so much to worry about, so many other things on her mind and still, she could not focus on them.
.
[Sometimes I, need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know
Somehow I need you to go]
'I should have known. Me, of all people, I should have known.' She shook her head. It wasn't obvious, not in his personality, but she still should have known. She had known so much about him! So much it wasn't funny. It had all been a façade though, a trick; and she hadn't seen through it. Why her? It hurt, so much. Why me?
She thrust her pen across her room. It had all been a lie and she couldn't believe it. She wanted him away, gone. She couldn't work with him, not now that she knew.
[Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities]
He needed to leave, he couldn't stay. He just couldn't! Not while she was there, and she wasn't going to leave. She had done nothing wrong... besides being blind. She shouldn't have let it last so long. She had imagined a future, she had begun making scrap books of their past. It had all been so wonderful, so great, so... perfect. Now it was ruined and she wanted him gone, she wanted to forget, to forget everything.
.
[What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
.
He had me, he really did. I became who he wanted me to be, I changed, morphed, and now I don't know how to become... me again. Who am I? I can't help but wonder now. Who am I? No... who was I? Me? I am who he made me, I wanted to be perfect for him so I let him change me. It had started while we were still young... before I could become whoever I would. She brushed hair away from her damp face.
He needed to go. He wouldn't though, would he? Could she make him? Maybe once he was gone she could become herself, an individual again. She had been before, hadn't she?
.
[Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities]
.
She stood up and strode to her bedside, sat down, got back up, and strode back to her homework. She tried to concentrate, tried to finish, but old memories were nagging at her mind. 'He might have left me when he realized I wouldn't give him what he wanted but he still expects me to be his, he still thinks he owns me. He does own me, I love him. I can't though! He betrayed me! I do though, and as long as he's here, he will, and he knows it. I can't give him what he wants, and I won't!'
.
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay
.
Jean suddenly swiped her arm violently at the books strewn about on her table and sent them flying in a frenzy of papers and books, to the floor. "Enough! I can't concentrate!" She stood back up and kicked the small table she had been working on, over and onto it's side. She wanted to break something.
She wiped her tears from her eyes and buried her face in her hands. She could feel him, his mind, his presence. He was here, and so was She. Did She know what he could do? The way he could manipulate? 'He changed me Taren; he changed me into the woman I am now. Little Miss Perfect? Ha! That never would have been me, but it's what he wanted and I had known it. He knew I knew, so he played the passive role, let me do the changing, encouraged it, helped it, then took advantage of it. He knew what I wanted in a companion, he knew, so that's what he gave me. It was a lie, and I didn't see it. I am a telepath Taren and I missed it! You! You were Miss Popularity before Scott ever came along, you stand no chance. How long will it be before you figure it out and are hurting, hurting the way I am?'
.
[Sometimes I, feel like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I, just feel like screaming at myself
Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know
Somehow I need to be alone]
.
She had trusted him with all her might. She had put her life in his hands and it was only his greed, his lust for her, which caused him to handle it with such care. She'd trusted him too much! It had been a part of his plan, he knew she would. How could he know? How could she not?
Jean internally screamed and the papers and the books floated upward and swirled around her. She couldn't believe what was happening. She had refused him, just the other night. He had been so persistant! She had been so shocked; she hadn't been able to believe it. Then today, how he told her it wouldn't work out. Oh, the innocence in which he had said it.
' "It'd be better for the team, Jean." '
' "We're just kids, Jean." '
' "We need to save our relationship for when we're older and we know we have a chance of lasting ,Jean." '
' "I want to experience dating, Jean." '
' "Taren asked me out ,Jean." '
' "It just won't work, Jean." '
She couldn't believe it! How could Scott do that?
A book suddenly rammed into one of the walls and a loud bang resounded. There was a knock at her door.
"Not now." Jean muttered. "Go away, not now." She sobbed to herself.
"Who is it?" She called out.
The door opened. No! "Go away!" And she slammed the door shut with her telekinesis. She felt for whom she had slammed the door on and ran into many minds in one. She knew then that it was Rogue. That girl couldn't stand her, that girl hated how perfect she was.
'I'm not perfect Rogue, I'm not. I tried to be, I pretended to be... for Scott. Go away Rogue, you don't understand.'
.
[Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
.
He wasn't going to go, but she needed him to. She didn't want him here; he didn't need to be. High school was over, he could move on, move out. Someone else could be leader, someone else should be. They couldn't have one that lied and manipulated the way he did as their leader.
Probably upset 'cause Scott finally figured out her game an' moved on.
Jean stopped everything as she heard the thought. It had come from Rogue. Jean was horrified as she heard the thought. 'How could she think that?! What game?' She hadn't been playing the game! Scott had!
Jean sank to her knees. He had done it perfect. He'd manipulated her, and all the while he had made it seem as if it had been her manipulating him. How could she have been so clueless?! Oh that's right, she had trusted him enough to not go into his mind, not try to figure it out. She had 'respected his privacy' and had trusted him all along. Yet she had went into his mind to find out who he wanted her to be, to find out what he didn't like about her. He had helped her. She had talked to him, asked him how she could be who he wanted her to be and he had helped her. He'd ruined her! And now everyone thought that she was the one who had led this game on. And why shouldn't they think so? She was a telepath.
.
[Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay]
.
There was nothing more she could do. Rogue would always think that she was the sadistic brat, that she had led Scott on, had wrapped him around her pinky. Why wouldn't she think that? She thought Scott was perfect. Jean wasn't oblivious to the fact that Rogue cared about Scott as more then a friend. She knew, oh she knew.
Could she warn Taren? No, Taren would think she was jealous, she'd tell Scott. Scott had her now; he had her in the palm of his hands. Now that everyone thought she was stringing him along it was all up to him how to deal with it and everyone would believe him. She had, a telepath had believed him, so why wouldn't Kitty, Kurt, and the others think so too.
But Rogue should know, she's absorbed him. Jean thought desperately. Her and the professor were the only ones that could find the truth. The professor might believe her, but Rogue? Rogue wanted to believe that Scott was the innocent one. The girl wasn't completely ignorant though, maybe Jean could convince her of her own innocence. Maybe, just maybe.
Why wouldn't he just leave?
.
[I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored]
.
She used to be so obsessed, so focused in on him. Now she didn't want him, need him. He had her, but she didn't need him. She wanted him to go away. She didn't want the others to ignore her, think she was a selfish brat.
'Screw it, I'm just not going to care what they think. That's what Scott wanted of me, expected of me. He expected me to care.' She wiped her tears away and straightened up.
.
[I don't need one more day of you wasting me away]
.
'I won't spend one more freaking day on you Scott! I won't wait for you; we won't get back together. I'm not going to sit here and wither away while you date; while you toss me aside and yet use me. No more! I'm done with you!'
.
[I don't need you anymore; I don't want to be ignored]
.
'I used to think I needed you. I used to think I needed your support, your trust, your comfort. Ha! I was a fool! I don't need any of it! Nor will I let you treat me the way you used to. You'll know I'm not completely yours anymore. You may hold some of my strings, but as long as I make myself immune to other's thoughts you won't have anything against me at all.'
.
[I don't need one more day of you wasting me away
With no apologies]
.
He could stay, he would. She didn't want him to, but she wasn't going to take it. She wasn't going to fall for his tricks anymore. She'd enter his mind without regret, without apologies. She didn't trust him anymore. She had looked into his mind finally and it had all been tricks. He had been cocky about it in his mind too. His whole head screeched triumph. Well, all except the fact that he hadn't gotten what he'd wanted from her. Oh no, he expected to get it from her later. Well, he wouldn't!
.
[Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and]
.
Jean moved her table back onto all fours and began to crawl around, collecting her papers. She'd finish her homework later. For now, she was going to go out. There was a dance club not far and she wanted to go to it. Ever since Duncan; the perfect guy for Scott to steal her from; she'd kept herself single and waited for Scott. She was done waiting, she wouldn't wait any longer. She was going to experience life and not wait around for a loser like Scott. She was going to be her from now on.
"I won't be Little Miss Perfect any longer. That's not me. It never, ever, truly was."
.
[Don't stay
Don't stay
Don't stay]
--
Sooooo sorry I haven't been updating! I've been having MAJOR inspiration problems! I'm SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO Sorry! I Am in the process of writing the next chapter of The Fifth Acolyte but it's coming along slowly. It's been busy and like a said.... insperation problem! lol.