Title: The Name of the Game
Pairing: Jim Kirk x Spock
Rating: M for sexual content in later chapters (and possibly language at times) male x male you have been warned
Summary: Set post-Into Darkness so spoilers! Kirk just woke up from his coma after dying and being brought back to life. Now he lives with Spock, his caretaker, in a small house. Kirk slowly starts to realize he may just feel something for his Vulcan counterpart, but how can he ever express his emotions to an alien who prides himself on not having any? Takes place during the year after Kirk's death and up into the beginning of their five year mission. Yes yes, there will be sex. I promise.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or the characters or anything like that.
"Captain." The word is soft and worrisome, considering the lips it's uttered from. Jim Kirk closes his eyes, the vulture of a First Officer hovering around him like a pest once again.
"Spock I already told you, I'm fine. Bones cleared me for this and everything."
"I was merely about to ask if you were ready to leave. It has been nearly one point two hours since we arrived here."
Kirk taps his fingers gently against the armrest of his wheelchair, scowling in obvious annoyance. "Spock if you're so ready to leave, by all means I can make it back to the house myself. It's not even that far away."
Ever since Kirk had awoken in the hospital about a month ago, his First Officer hadn't left his side save for a few important times Starfleet dragged him away forcibly. He can't deny it made a smile tug at his weary lips every time he opened his eyes and saw a worn out half-Vulcan asleep in the chair next to him. Spock wouldn't admit that he stayed with him past the brink of exhaustion and Kirk never felt the need to point it out to him.
"You know as well as I that Doctor McCoy would have a few of his, shall I say, 'choice words' to say to me should you return alone with the story I left you here."
Kirk sighs, Spock is right, the good doctor had given Spock a piece of his mind on multiple occasions now for even the most petty things. Kirk never should have told Bones that deepest secret he holds so close to him. He quickly decides to change the subject.
"Spock I'm surprised even you don't feel at least a little something about this, I mean it was your ass in it at the time." The Captain is trying to pry at least some emotional slip out of his friend, something to show that he, like his alternate self, could feel even the smallest amount.
"It is merely a seat, Captain; I still do not understand why they so vehemently demanded its removal from the ship to be placed here."
The battered Enterprise was being subjected to all sorts of renovations and construction at the moment, and Starfleet had issued a request to take the captain's seat from the bridge and place it in a museum right alongside the George Kirk exhibit. For three days, Kirk had demanded to be brought down here and had done nothing but glare at it deep in thought, a real character shift for the quarrelsome, swaggering captain that Spock is so used to.
"All right Spock, let's go home." Kirk turns his chair around with ease, but Spock overpowers him with superior Vulcan strength and takes over pushing the wheelchair, leaving Kirk to sigh once more and lounge about limply.
About two weeks ago, Bones had discharged Kirk from the hospital on the grounds he go and live with someone who can care for him. That's how he ended up in a Starfleet issued flat with none other than Spock himself. Of course Doctor McCoy comes every morning and night to check up on his patient and friend, and to issue necessary medicine, but otherwise the stoic Vulcan is his only companion. Living with the half-breed is hard enough, but Kirk's world came crashing in the day he realized that he might just be falling hard for the pointy-eared bastard.
~~~X~~~
"Jim." The word is so soft, so gentle, caressing his body almost like a tender touch. Kirk groans and tightens his fists in his lover's dark hair, pulling him down for a rough kiss that's all tongue and teeth.
"Ah. F-fuck Spock. Right there." Kirk pants, his face scrunched up a bit and brow gleaming with sweat.
The Vulcan obediently thrusts up again, the tip of his thick double ridged cock pounding mercilessly against that sensitive bundle of nerves over and over, driving the driveling Captain insane. Spock has his fingers pressed against Kirk's face in a mind meld, the sensations buzzing back and forth along the connection like aphrodisiac, heightening each touch, each thrust to new levels of pleasure.
"Spock. Spock I'm gonna come!"
"Let go, Jim." Spock can't quite contain the desire clouding his dark eyes. When he's with Kirk is the only time he'll let down his guard down enough to let his human emotions take hold.
Kirk does exactly what his lover says, crying out in delirious white hot pleasure as his orgasm pushes from the end of his cock, dripping his seed like a river down onto his chest. The shock of Kirk cumming sends pulses through the bond to Spock who rams himself deep into the others ass, Kirk's walls clamping down tight around the thick appendage as the Vulcan explodes inside him.
Kirk's eyes flash open to a dark room, damp messed up sheets, and his chest rising and falling quickly. A dream, all of it a goddamn dream, and the problem is that this isn't the first one like it.
"Captain, are you okay?"
Kirk's heart stops for a second before taking off once more like a starship at Warp 8. Why is he in here?
"Mr. Spock." He tries to keep his tone level and bored, tightening a fist in the sheets as a way to calm himself down. He knows he has a boner, but hopes the thick comforter twisted around his waist and through his legs and the darkness of the room will hide that from the perceptive intruder. "May I help you?"
"You were calling my name. I logically assumed you required something."
"Right. No, bad dream is all Mr. Spock, just reliving a few of our testy missions together subconsciously."
"And that made you call for me?"
"Well it wasn't on purpose, maybe I needed your help in the dream, I don't know Spock just go back to bed I'm fine."
Kirk's baby-blues cut through the darkness to look at the tall male in his room, and he's shocked to see his brows furrowed in a look of…disappointment? He couldn't tell because the moment he refocuses on Spock's face, it was gone, replaced by that usual cool stare.
"If that'll be all then." Kirk hates the even tone Spock's assumed, he only ever sounds like this when he's struggling to keep a hold of his emotions. "Goodnight Captain. Doctor McCoy will be here in a few hours to administer your medicine so I suggest you get some rest because you are, as the humans put it, 'ornery' when you're woken up on too little sleep."
Kirk grumbles something incoherent and turns over, pulling up the blankets. Sex had never shaken up the infallible James T. Kirk before. To him, sex was just a thing to get over heartbreak, loneliness, or anger. Granted, Kirk has never slept with anyone he's loved before, but he didn't connect that it would be any different like that. So why did Spock always get to him? The way he lifts his eyebrow at the Doctor's metaphors or the way his lips quirk up ever so slightly around the edges just for a second whenever Kirk is being his usual witty self, sends shivers up and down Kirks spine.
He tosses and turns the rest of that night, his mind replaying the dream over and over in vivid clarity no matter how hard he tries to distract himself. Finally he gives up and lies on his back in submission until Bones comes a-calling around 0600.
"Jim!" the country doctor says, surprised to see his friend up at such a time. Normally Spock and he have a time rousing the stubborn Kirk to at least some form of life so early in the morning to take his medicine.
"Morning Bones." He replies, his voice laden with exhaustion.
Spock is already up and by his captain's side as the old friends exchange their greetings. A few injections and a pill or two later, they're sitting in a small living area around a sharp-edged coffee table, McCoy in a dark overstuffed armchair, and Spock and Kirk side by side on a matching sofa. Only a well-trained eye can see how stiff Kirk is in his seat and how he pauses for a quick second every time his shoulder bumps into Spock's.
"Bones I need to take a piss." Kirk states unceremoniously, cutting Spock off mid-sentence.
"I'll take you, Captain."
"Nah Bones' got me. That right, doc?"
"Spock is fully capable to—" he trails off when he sees that dangerous glare behind those naturally bright blue eyes. "right right, obligations as your doctor and what not." He scowls but moves over to Kirk, leaning down and hoisting him up to lean against him.
"You do know I can walk, right?"
"And I don't care." Bones does let up on his patient a bit, allowing him to support himself, but offering his body as a crutch should the other require it.
"I had that fucking dream again Bones." Kirk says when he deems them safely out of the Vulcan's precise hearing range, locked away in his bathroom. "You're the doctor, what's wrong with me?"
"Jim you know that answer as well as I do. You're in love."
"No no no. With him? I knew you were crazy Bones, but this?"
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, Jim."
"What did I tell you about using metaphors like that Bones."
"All I'm saying is that you love him, plain and simple, you told me that yourself a few weeks ago."
"I had just come back to life, I was uttering nonsense."
Silence on both ends. The doctor had known Jim long enough to pick up on the smallest keys in his behavior, and Kirk knows he's right, he's just too stubborn to admit he has feelings for another man, the man being Spock at that.
"Just tell him how you feel, worst he can do is tell you no."
"I'll still have to live with him, even if he does say no"
"He bars his emotions; he'll act like it never happened most likely"
"And that'll make it so much more unbearable."
"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a life coach! You're a grown man, you can deal with a little relationship issue."
"Is everything all right in there?" Spock's voice is clear through the door as he raps three times. Kirk thanks whatever god may be listening that Bones thought to lock it, though; he wonders how much of the conversation he heard.
He motions for Bones to open the door. As soon as it slides away, Kirk saunters out, trying to hide the slight limp he still possesses.
"Yes yes, you know you don't have to hover around so much. I was only dead a little while, no biggie." Kirk immediately regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, and that's big because Jim regrets little in life.
He can see anger flash in the dark brown eyes of the half-Vulcan's eyes before is dissipates and Spock turns on the heel of his regulation boots and walks away.
"Well that was a little cold don't you think, Jim?"
Kirk just shrugs, swaying a bit. McCoy comes up beside him and assists him to the couch once more, but this time, Spock is nowhere in sight.
"Good job, you pissed off the hobgoblin who just so happened to be your caretaker. You know I have a life right? I can't sit around and cater to your sick needs all day just because you decided to be a jackass to the guy who deals with you all the time."
"Shut up. Go on you know I'm fine and that I'm not going anywhere. Spock'll cool off and be back within the hour. You know how he is. I'll just sit here till then."
"You know I can't do th—" Kirk holds up a hand to cut him off.
"Go Bones. Before I get up and throw you out. Even in this state I can kick your ass."
"Likely story" McCoy mutters, rolling his eyes as he pushes himself off the arm rests of his chair to his feet. "Move and I'll tell the hobgoblin the truth."
"You're an asshole."
"Tell the hobgoblin what?" Spock says his nickname with an air of distaste, his eyes narrowed at the two males in front of him.
McCoy takes one look at Kirk and rolls his eyes once again before facing down Spock. "Nothing, just don't let him talk you into allowing him to roam freely. He's still healing and as his doctor he's lucky I don't have him on strict bed rest still."
Eyeing the First Officer and then Kirk, he leaves, a scowl etched deep into his lips.
~~~X~~~
Spock cannot contain the sigh that escapes his mouth. Jim fell asleep on the couch…again. The Vulcan disappears into his room and returns with a blanket which he promptly covers the peaceful male with. Still slightly put off by the remark earlier, he'd spent most of the day avoiding Kirk. It had all actually started when he noticed how uncomfortable he was making his captain when they were seated together earlier that morning. Vulcan's are touch-telepaths, but with the clothing between them, he couldn't actually get any skin-to-skin contact to figure out what's wrong.
"Spock." The word is gentle like a sigh, much like it had been for quite a few nights now. The Vulcan had been getting up to check on Kirk to see if he needed something, but each night he'd find the male sound asleep, tangled up in his covers. Last night was the only time Spock decided to talk to him because he'd started moving around and holding fast to the sheets like he was having a nightmare.
He knows better than to initiate a mind meld without consent - it's unlawful and illegal, and every warning bell in his head tells him to just go to bed and ignore it for another night, but his legs move of their own accord, and soon he has his fingers pressed up to Kirk's face gently, seeing and feeling what he's experiencing.
It hits him like a blast, eliciting a sharp inhale of air into his lungs. Passion. Love. Lust. Desire. Emotions crush him in waves, blaring through the meld like a foghorn through the silent air. Never had he experienced such a powerful connection to someone like this, and he has to fight a bit to stay in control of himself.
That's when Kirk says his name again. But that's not all, this time he adds a little bit more. Three words that change the name of the game.
"Spock." Kirk murmurs unconsciously, "I love you."