Intro: Funk Originals is a comedy/parody based in the 22nd century about Johnny Bloom and his anomalous Loudred and their adventures with an ultra-confident, mistake prone kid aspiring to be a Pokemon League Champion, Maxie Bogans. Johnny is a slightly behind his time 70's soul in the fast-paced , ever progressing region of Hoenn. The only thing that seems to drive the groovacious middle-aged man is his desire to funkify his surroundings and one day find his way home to the 70s time period where he rightfully belongs. Unfortunately he must keep his promise and must watch over the bratty Maxie until he has returned home from their journey. What relationship do these two have?; How did they meet?; And what adventures await this hopeful duo on their seemingly long journey?
Pokemon Funk Originals Episode 1: A long time coming! The final exam!
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Narration:
A late Spring Monday morning in Littleroot Town; An emerging town because of much drawn publicity by trainer's who've made names for themselves in the Pokemon League and Regional Contests. With the population expanding, new buildings being constructed, Business sales at all-time highs, and recreational activity bringing people together like never before, it is surely a great time to be a uhm…Littlerootian. Yes, yes a golden age if you will. No section 8 housing. No EBT cards for system manipulating minorities…Simply Utopia…
Alarm: Pika pika, wake the hell up! Pika pika, wake the hell up! Pika pika, wake the hell up!...
Narrator: Hmm what is this? We seem to have a distorted alarm clock emptying non-stop garbage out of an open window into the still silence of a peaceful neighborhood…
A hand shoves a pile of pokemon encyclopedias and battle-strategy guides to the floor and reaches for the wire-plug of the alarm clock and yanks it out of the wall like some fire-starting cretin. The kid without making his bed or taking a shower throws on his clothes and heads into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He looks in the mirror and his appearance brings a smirk to his face; then he spits the remaining toothpaste into the sink and puts on his hat.
Kid: Today's finally the day.
Narrator: Exiting his house, Maxie Bogart. The ultra-confident and idiotic delinquent of the town. Today is the last day of school for his class. The class of 2115-2116 that is and after a whole 2 years of preparation, the flunky is back at 12 years old and ready to finally earn his trainer's license so he can become yet another trainer in a pokemon world rife with them…
Maxie hurries into his class just before the bell rings. The last one there as usual. Charles, a friend/rival of Maxie whispers to him amused by his lack of a sense of urgency,
Charles: Damn Maxie, you were a second from being disqualified from the final exam. Think you got what it takes this year? Haha…
Maxie: That's for me to know and you to find out. Just hope YOU have what it takes because all the teachers know I'm the clear-cut favorite to take it all this year…
Charles: Haha Yea we'll see about that.
Mr. Butts: Maxie what have I been telling you all year about coming into class with that hat?! Do you want to get sent home yet again?
Maxie: C'mon Butts cut me some slack. I wanna be battle-ready for the final screening. It's the only way I can bring my A-game to the match.
Mr. Butts: Very well Mr. Bogans. I'd do anything to not get in the way of you passing at this point though I'm really amazed that you'd bring any kind of an A-game when you've had a borderline failing grade in each quarter all year.
The class erupts in laughter.
Maxie: Very funny Butts. You should know by now that I'm a hands on kind of guy not some book reading tape-wurmple. (Get it? xD)
Mr. Butts: Heh… Of course you are… Anyway class, unlike my close friend Mr. Bogans, most of you don't know how the procedure of the exam goes so allow me to explain it to you.
Maxie clenches his teeth. " His name should be Mr. Asswhole", he thought.
Mr. Butts: The final exam is made up of three individual exams: The first testing the student's raw aptitude of pokemon in a 50 question test, the second testing the student's knowledge on given scenarios in the heat of battle in a 25 question test, and a final 3 pokemon each battle screening of the student and a teacher of the school other than your assigned one. Don't be nervous. Pokemon will be provided before the match and teachers will go easy on you. What they are looking for is sound technique, good pokemon IQ, effective strategy, and the ability to think and react quickly. Each of these four components will be graded on a 5-star scale critiqued by Littleroot's own Principle Max and 3 secretaries.
Maxie: Haha yeah this'll be easy! I'm scoring higher than all you scrubs!
: However this year there's a twist. Since there are over 350,000 new trainers a year region-wide, the Pokemon International Trainer's Committee of Hoenn or "PITCH" have passed a law stating that only the top 25 kids from each school will be granted trainer licenses in order to cut down on new trainer's and provide stiff competition for the impending Pokemon League. The students who score in the top 50th percentile on the first exam will advance to the Battle Judgment Exam and the top 40th percentile of that exam will then advance to the Battle Screening where finally only 6% of you will walk out trainers.
Maxie along with the rest of the class sat still, shocked by the information they had suddenly received.
Maxie: But this school has over two-thousand students! Why weren't we told this a long time ago?
Said Maxie as a few kids in the class began to break out crying…
Mr. Butts: PITCH released this information on a whim 2 weeks ago. Our Jobs were threatened and we were told to keep this information unannounced until the day of the exam. This was done to essentially eliminate those who didn't study after school before the exam ever even started. You all may as well drink those tears because this is the life of a Pokemon Trainer. Most of you may be ten years old, but as a trainer you are a professional as well as an entertainer. Age means nothing. If you'd never dedicated yourself to the honor of that, then you were never cut out to do this in the first place…
The class grew quiet. What were initially just Butterfrees in everyone's stomach had instantly become Grimers trapped there, Fighting the toxic acid, trying to get out of the walls of their stomachs. Nausea at its finest. Noise broke outside the classroom as kids shouted and cried running out of the school because of the bad news. Everyone must've known by now and the enthusiasm of the day had easily become one of uncertainty.
Mr: Butts: The Raw Aptitude Exam will begin in 10 minutes. Anyone who needs to use the bathroom or get a sip of water may do so. You have 8 minutes.
Maxie and most of the class got up to go relieve themselves knowing they may not have another opportunity throughout the day…
Charles: Maxie can you believe what Butts just broke to us, man? Only 25 of us are going to make it out of the entire school. That's like the entire amount of kids in our class,
Stated Charles as they walked into the bathroom. Maxie began confidently as he smirked at himself in the mirror like the narcissist that he was:
Maxie: You can save that negativity for someone who cares. I'm not like the rest of you bums. I'll be one of those 25 easily . No scratch that. Not only will I be one of the 25, I'll be the number one overall out of them no sweat. You can count on that.
Charles: Oh yeah? And what makes you so sure, hotshot?
Maxie: Let's just say I made a few improvisations. My mom had a whole set of Pokemon encyclopedias and battle-guides. I also pirated every last Pokemon League Champion documentary, as well as the battles they had in the tournament. I've been preparing for this day all year and it looks like I chose the right time to think ahead haha! Maybe failing wasn't such a bad idea after all!
Maxie broke out in laughter because of the excitement that took over him. He knew that he had been well prepared for the rigorous exam at hand:
Maxie: I'm gonna get my license and become a Pokemon League Champion. Noone will stop me hahahahahaha! You can count on that, bub!
Annoyed by Maxie's loud and arrogant remarks; Spencer, the smartest student in the school busted out of a stall, positioning his glasses with his palm pushing the bottom of the frame up toward his brow.
Spencer: I find it amazing that someone could be so confident after flunking a class for two years. Even if you studied for what you claim to be a full year, I don't see how that'll matter. There are surely 25 kids in this school that are supremely smarter than you; me being one of them. Hahahaha *snort* please. Save everyone the tough talk. You've been one point from an F all year you incompetent, mentally ill moron.
Maxie: Who the hell are you talking to, chump? This comes from a guy who was just taking a shit 8 minutes before the exam. By the way, did you even wipe your ass because I never heard a toilet flush you trifling son of a-
Charlie sensed the growing hostility in Maxie and grabbed him before he made a mistake:
Charlie: C'mon man chill. You don't want to make a mistake and fail the test before you even see the thing.
Maxie: Oh don't worry. Heh, I would make love to a Jynx before I let this dweeb be the reason I'm sent packing.
Spencer: Hahaha! You're idiocy is bewildering. And for your information my mother made me scrambled Dotrio eggs this morning, which I so happen to be allergic to. It gives me gas. Anyway I'll see you lackies later. I got an exam to ace. I look forward to seeing your names crossed out on the list.
Spencer walks out of the bathroom.
Maxie: I don't know who the hell that kid was. If I see him after school you better believe he's getting it!
Charlie: Dude come on! We're gonna be late.
Maxie: Right.
Maxie and Charlie walk to the class, now reminded of the uncertainty they felt earlier. Everyone was seated, waiting for them.
Mr. Butts: Good God, Maxie. It must be a damn goal of yours to be the last one in this class huh? You should be a darn inverted race car driver where the last place driver is the winner.
Maxie: I'm a Pokemon Trainer!
The class once again busts out in much needed laughter. Maxie looks around then scolds as he spots Spencer staring at him with a smirk of inner superiority on his face. I will score higher then you, you freak, Maxie thinks to himself.
Mr. Butts: Alright, Alright sit-down you two so we can begin…
The episode ends with Maxie and Spencer's eyes in a deadlock. Who will come out on top in these rigorous exams? How strong must charlie be? Who will be the 25 to become Pokemon Trainers? Stat tuned...