SINCE THERE ARE NO CHILDREN IN TBBT, I DECIDED TO USE THE CHARACTERS I USED IN MY FANFICTION, 'THE COMPLETE PACKAGE'. IF YOU READ THAT FANFICTION YOU WILL RECOGNIZE THEM.
Lenny Week - Children - Out of Babes Mouths
Penny sat checking her correspondence from Nancy, her agent, on her IPAD, she currently was just relaxing in their suite in Norway after the big banquet last night for Leonard's Nobel Prize. Her and the girls had just eaten breakfast, in their room, and just like the girls she was still in her pajamas with her robe on. Leonard was still asleep, unlike her, he could drink last night and he did, not to excess but enough to make him happy and a little funny by the end of the night. It wasn't really his intention of drinking much but people kept putting drinks into his hand and toasting him, so her husband got a little toasted. She smiled when she thought of how cute he was when they finally got to bed, kissing her, rubbing her tummy and telling her how amazing she was, then cuddling her tight when he finally fell asleep. She didn't have to heart to wake him up this morning so she would just let him sleep a couple more hours before her and Sue when shopping later.
Penny opened some more of her emails while watching her girls out of the corner of her eye, the were so up to something. They had been whispering to each other all morning, so any time now she expected them to come up to her and ask her some important question, because that was the way they acted when there was something they both had on their minds. She didn't have to wait long, it was only ten minutes later when then both walked up to her, Sam speaking first, since she was the oldest and the usual spokesman for the two of them when they were like this. "Mommy."
Penny turned and smiled, "Yes Sweetie."
Sam looked at Bev, who just nodded, "Mommy how did you get pregnant?"
Penny's IPAD slipped out of her hands onto the table as she stared at them both in shock. She knew some day she would have to discuss the birds and the bees with them, but she expected that to be when they were 11 or 12 not 5, however if she really thought about it they were smarter than almost all 11 to 12 year olds and probably more mature. Penny quickly thought maybe she could give them a very watered down version that would satisfy their questions, she hoped. "Ummm….Well you know Mommy and Daddy love you guys and Mommy and Daddy love each other." Both girls nodded. "And we kiss each other all time, too." The girls nodded again. "Well you know Mommy and Daddy sleep together and sometimes kiss in bed too."
"Mommy is that foreplay?" Bev asked.
"HUH!" Penny looked at her in shock.
"Is Daddy in bed with you, kissing you foreplay?"
"Who told you that!" Penny exclaimed
"It was in Uncle Sheldon's book." Sam responded
Penny's eyes went wide, "Uncle Sheldon showed you his book! I'm going to kill him." Penny growled.
Bev and Sam looked at their mother with extreme concern. "No Mommy don't kill Uncle Sheldon, he didn't show it to us." Bev confessed
"Then how did you see it?"
Bev looked at Sam, who nodded for her to go on, both girls looking very guilty. "We were visiting Marie one day and we went into Uncle Sheldon and Aunt Amy's room and found it in the drawer."
"Oh my God." Penny softly said, putting her palm to her head. Marie was Sheldon and Amy's daughter, who was about 4 now, the girls would play with her a lot as both Penny and Amy exchanged baby sitting services. Marie was a little genius too, probably a little higher in IQ that her girls, but her girls would team together and outwit her all the time.
"Mommy are we in trouble?" Sam asked.
"Mommy and Daddy don't want you looking at those kinds of books till you get much older, understand?" Both girls nodded.
Penny looked at her two girls as they stood there looking at each other and biting their lips, a trait they had picked up from their mother. "Is there something else?"
"Mommy were you wearing coitus pajamas when you got pregnant?" Bev asked
Penny's jaw dropped again. She knew only one person who said coitus and again he thought about killing Sheldon. "Who told you that?"
"One Saturday, when we were all helping Uncle Sheldon with his laundry, he said Aunt Amy's small lace pajamas were coitus pajamas." Sam explained
Penny put her head in her hands, shaking her head. "I swear I'm going to kill him." she mumbled.
The girls got worried again, "Mommy is Uncle Sheldon in trouble? Are you really going to kill him?"
"No, Mommy is just mad at Uncle Sheldon, I will just give him five strikes." Penny explained.
Bev giggled, "Uncle Sheldon hates strikes."
Sam nodded, "He said he is not going to the class again."
Penny looked at them, "He did, did he?" Penny had learned a couple of years ago that giving Sheldon strikes for being Sheldon was the best punishment she could do to him. She would make him go through a course on how to be nice, taught by her, every time he got three and he hated it.
The girls nodded, "But Aunt Amy said he had to go or he had to sleep on the couch." Bev told Penny.
"He also said 'Drat'." Sam added.
A sinister smile formed on Penny's face, Amy was her best supporter for the strike punishment and always made Sheldon accept it. He hated sleeping on the couch, not because he didn't get sex, but because he was so tall he couldn't get comfortable and it hurt his back. "Good for Aunt Amy."
The girls looked at each other again, and Penny silently moaned inside, this wasn't over. "Okay, I know there is more to this, why do you really want to know how I got pregnant."
Bev looked to Sam who nodded, "Mommy Michelle said that Aunt Dawn said that her, you, and Aunt Alex all got pregnant when we were all at the beach and that it because of the water."
Michelle was Dawn's daughter and Dawn had been kidding with everyone that they all got pregnant during the same two weeks because of the Hofstadter water. Penny now wanted to kill her sister-in-law too. "Aunt Dawn, Huh?" Penny now had to figure a way out of this.
Both girls nodded, then Sam spoke, "We asked Daddy last night about it and he said it was magic water."
Penny rolled her eyes, Leonard was so happy-go-lucky last night she could see him saying that so he didn't have to explain anything serious to them before bed. However Penny noticed the girls seemed nervous and wanted to ask another question. "What else did Daddy say?"
Bev now spoke up. "Daddy said we had to go to bed so he didn't answer any more questions, he said save them for Mommy in the morning."
Penny now wanted to kill her husband. "Okay, what other questions do you have."
Sam took a breath. "Mommy we went in the water and drank the water at the beach too. Are we going to get pregnant?"
The both looked at her so serious and concerned Penny just wanted to laugh then cry then hug them both. "No, baby girls, the magic water works only on Mommies and Daddies." She watched them both now relax, making her want to hug them again, so she did.
"Mommy don't squeeze so hard." Sam said. So Penny relaxed her grip on them and started to kiss them.
After a couple of minutes Penny let them go. "So is that all your questions?" Both girls nodded now smiling. "No more talk about being pregnant Okay? At least for a little while." Both girls nodded again, then turned and walked back to the coffee table to grab their IPADS so they could play a game together.
Penny sighed, then got up, going to the bedroom and stopping at the door to look at her sleeping husband. She then looked back at the girls to see them playing their game together, before she walked in the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Penny sat on the edge of the bed, just looking at how comfortable Leonard looked there asleep, so she gently lifted up the covers from him then smacked his butt as hard as she could.
Leonard jumped about a foot off the bed and immediately woke up, his hand going to his now sore butt, looking around to see Penny sitting on the bed. "Hey, what was that for!"
"Magic water, Leonard." Penny shook her head.
Leonard sat there a minute trying to understand, then he remembered. "Did you really want me to tell them the water, Dawn was talking about, was having sex in the ocean or the hot tub?"
"No, I don't want our son knowing he was conceived in a hot tub." Penny responded.
"So what did you want me to say?"
"Leonard the girls thought since they played in the magic water and drank it that they were going to get pregnant."
"Oh…."
"Yeah, Oh. Sweetie think before you tell them things."
"Okay, noted. I keep my stories to myself."
"Good," Penny leaned down to kiss him then went to the door to go back where the girls were, but suddenly she stopped.
"Oh by-the-way, Sheldon told the girls that those cute nighties I wear are for when Mommies and Daddies want to make love." Leonard's jaw dropped. "So forget about me wearing one again until the girls move out." Penny then opened the door and left.
Leonard rubbed his very sore butt thinking, them mumbling, "I'm going to kill Sheldon."