DISCLAIMER: Primeval and all of it's characters do not belong to me. Although I would like to own a Caprain Becker if anyone knows where I could get myself one of those ;) Warning: Contains suicide theme.

Captain Becker and Sarah entered the dark, dusty room, guns raised. Becker shone his powerful torch around the room before mumbling, more to himself than anyone else, that it was clear and closing the door behind the two of them. They'd been separated from the rest of the search party that were looking for Connor, Abby, and Danny.

"Sarah... Promise me as soon as we get a chance you'll go back through with one of my men. It's not safe. I should've never let you come. What if something happens to you? I can't lose you." Becker pleaded, he stood so close to her that she could smell his aftershave.

"Becker... I am part of this search party whether you like it or not. I won't get hurt... I'm with you. I trust you." She didn't meet his desperate gaze.

"You shouldn't." he replied backing away from her in defeat "Look what happened to everyone else who did. Cutter, Abby, Connor, Danny."

"Becker, come on, we've been through this a million and one times. The only person to blame for all of this is Helen. You need to stop blaming yourself, okay?" She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him sweetly, before stepping away to look around the room.

"Sarah...please, please. I'm begging you. I can't lose anyone else I love. I love you" he whispered hopelessly, so quiet that Sarah didn't even hear.

"Hey... What's this? Wait... These are the batteries our torches take... Surely they wouldn't still be using the same... These have been wired up like a power source" Sarah mused. Becker paced over towards her, and began examining the wires, his hands moving quickly and precisely as he followed different wires.

"It's wired to this... At first I thought it was just some kind of table but now I don't think it is... It's a screen, like a big tablet." He leaned forward to read the side of the batteries "Sarah, these aren't just the same batteries that the arc uses- these are arc batteries, look at the series number here, they're from 2009. They must've been theirs! They used-" a clatter interrupted him.

Sarah turned white. "Predators. They're in here" she whispered, terrified.

"Get behind me, and keep that gun handy" he ordered, as Sarah scurried to stand behind him.

There was a huge crash at the door and as it gave in, a group of predators burst through, scrapping with each other until their eyes locked on the humans. The first one through the door dropped like a stone as Becker's bullet hit it square in the face, but the others were too fast. Becker felt a huge rip tear across his chest and he fell to the ground in pain. His eyes were unfocused from the shock, but he saw them turn on Sarah.

"Becker! BECKER!" A blood curdling scream filled the room.

Becker awakened bolt upright, drenched in his own sweat. Every night. Every night he was forced to relive in excruciating detail the worst day of his life. He remembered every smell, noise and sound from that day. He glanced at his alarm clock: 3am. Bed springs creaked as he swung his legs out of bed and strode across his bedroom towards to sliding glass doors, barely slowing to look at his bloodshot eyes and pale face as he passed the mirror. The doors slid across easily and Becker was bathed in moonlight and icy cold air. Running his hands through his hair, he leant forward on the balcony, not even flinching when the cold metal made contact with his bare chest. He looked down at the quiet street below.

'I could do it. I could do it right now.' He thought to himself. 'I don't deserve to live, when so many have died because of me. I'd rather die than live with myself after what I've done. It was my job to keep them safe, and I failed.' A heavy tear fell down his cheek as he shakily grabbed the metal bar at the top of the balcony and swung one leg over the rail. 'I can't go back to work and risk anyone else getting hurt. They did nothing to deserve their deaths. I've done everything to deserve mine.' His whole body trembled as he swung his other leg over the railing. The dark purple circles under his eyes were illuminated in the moonlight. Looking down at the hard pavement nine floors below, he contemplated how much it might hurt. 'I hope it does hurt. They got hurt. It wouldn't be right for it to end quickly, and painlessly for me. I hope I suffer, like they suffered...'

Becker was pulled from his reverie when his phone rang sharply in his pants pocket. A shaking hand reached down and took it from his pocket before he glanced at the screen. Jess.

"H-hello?" His voice was gruff and stuttered as he wiped another tear off his face.

"Becker? Anomaly alert. I'm on my way to the ARC now. Meet me there? I'm trying to get as many men together as I can, it sounds like a serious incursion. Can you make it?"

There was no answer.

"Becker? Are you there?"

"I'm here." He glanced down at the beckoning pavement as Sarah's last scream echoed through his brain, as if she was stood right next to him. He shook his head. "I'll be there Jess."

"Great- Becker are you alright? You sound really ill..."

"I'm fine, Jess." Two jittery legs swung back over the balcony as Becker hung up the phone, before staggering inside to get ready.