A/N: For those of you who have me on author alert or follow my other stories, this story is quite different from anything that I have written in the past. Please refer to the warnings below and proceed with caution. This was my entry for Day 7 of Prompts in Panem Writer's Challenge, in response to the prompt 'What if?' Now that the challenge has concluded I will be returning to updating my existing WiP's.
Thank you to my beta, Wildharp, for sticking with me on this journey! Also, I would be remiss if I didn't thank Abagail Snow for the gorgeous cover art that accompanies this story! Please let me know what you think, good or bad, I'd love to know.
Warnings: Major character death(s), underage, abuse/non con, suicide
What if Katniss, Peeta, and Gale were planning to run away from District 12 and were found out?
The snow is heavy and wet, coming down in soft, lazy clumps, covering the ground, and hiding the soot and grime of District 12. Katniss hovers near the fence, near her and Gale's preferred entrance, circling the area, never committing to a spot, hoping to catch him before he ducks under, but not wanting to draw attention to herself. Eventually, she scales a tree in direct eye line with the area where Gale will arrive. While it would be preferable to ask him what she wants to ask him in the woods, she knows that Peeta would never make it there with the weather conditions worsening and the effect the cold has on his phantom limb.
They stop by Peeta's home, knocking on the door, "What's this about, Catnip?" Gale asks with an air of practiced indifference. Katniss hears it though, the strain in his voice, desperate and melancholy, she chooses to pretend she doesn't realize what it means. If they are going to do this, she needs them both, it is the only way it will work for her, the only way she will survive it.
Peeta opens the door, the warm air is laced with the rich scent of burning timber and yeast, his smile is genuine as he regards the pair, "Katniss" he nods at her, eyes appraising the lovely pink flush on her cheeks from the cold, "Gale" the nod that he gives the coal miner is welcoming, not mirroring the disdain in other man's eyes. "Come on in, it's freezing out there."
Katniss passes easily through the door, but Gale pauses at the threshold as if some unforeseen force prevents him from stepping in, she notices his hesitance and pauses right as she was about to greet Peeta with a quick hug. Her eyes connect with Peeta's instead; the smile he gives is one of assurance. Katniss reaches out a delicate, glove covered hand for Gale, and he is forced to step inside to grasp it. He can't refuse her hand; she has never reached for him like this, never like this, like she is beckoning him, like she needs him to join her.
Through hastily written notes, Katniss and Peeta explain the plan to Gale. The houses are bugged, do not speak, just read and burn the paper. Everyone is in grave danger because Katniss has unintentionally sparked a Rebellion with her actions. They want to run, and they want to take him with them.
Their plan is preposterous and unrealistic, but he reads their scrawl rapidly before tossing it into the burning fire. In his own untrained, shaky hand writing he tells them that if they want to leave then the plan would have to be much better.
Peeta produces a platter with toasted bread, creamy butter, and golden honey. He wishes he could hate Peeta, despise his competition, yet he can't muster the ability too. The boy is too good, too kind, and entirely too smitten with Katniss for Gale to fault him. He decides his efforts would be best spent on wooing her instead of hating the Merchant. Gale tips his head towards Peeta as he reaches for a piece of bread.
Peeta smiles nervously at his guests.
Katniss scowls at the impossibility of the situation.
Gale fights the urge to put his fist through Peeta's kitchen wall.
Katniss is awake when Peacekeepers storm through the front door. She is sitting looking at the plant book, she should be startled, but she isn't. Since she arrived home from the Capitol she has been waiting for this to happen. She goes without resistance, allowing them to cuff her and lead her barefoot through the snow to the Justice building.
Gale fights. He spits, bites, kicks and thrashes until they knock him unconscious.
Peeta goes much like Katniss, his only request to secure his leg into place before they cuff and lead him to the Justice building.
"Your compliance is necessary in keeping your remaining family members alive." Gale wakes to a voice that he had only ever heard through the distortion of an ancient television set. He is tethered to a chair, the dank smell of mildew and spoiled milk assaulted his senses, and was second only to the increasingly overwhelming smell of copper and floral notes. He struggles to open his eyes, one is nearly swollen shut, the other fighting to process the bright fluorescent lights. Beside him, he can hear Katniss whimpering, crying almost silently.
"I take it that you understand the grave nature of the circumstances you have found yourself in?"
Gale realizes this must be the retribution that Katniss and Peeta had warned of, they should have left, his heart begins to race as he realizes that he is facing imminent death. This was how Snow operated, he would take who Katniss cared about and make examples of them to her. He had to see her, let her know her forgave her, his eyelid finally cooperated and the room started to come into focus around him.
Tears pooled in Katniss' lap. Every single person that she cared about in the world was locked in this terrible room with her, and blood had already been shed. "You three have been charged with the crime of conspiring to leave District 12." Haymitch, her mother, and the gentle baker lie dead on the floor, awful bullet holes decorating their still warm foreheads.
"Take me!" The scream tore from her throat, "Kill me, not them! Leave them all alone, they are innocent."
"As much as I would love to take you up on your offer, you and Peeta here are a hot commodity in the Capitol. We are going to have a lot of fun, my dear." Gale's eyes were focused on the carnage in front of him, he had yet to look at Snow, too focused on the living and dead huddled in the corner, he was surprised to see his brothers and mother standing in the mix. Hazelle's eyes met Gale's in a look of pure horror and motioned to where the voice was coming from.
They were tied to chairs in the middle of the room, Snow sat in front of them, flanked by Peacekeepers, Gale began to lash out trying to break the binds that hold him to the chair when he realized that his baby sister was sitting on Snow's lap. The snake like President, is stroking Posy's soft curls while he talks.
"Oh look Katniss, your cousin has decided to join us. Fighting is just silly at this point, don't you think? Why don't you sit down before I add some Hawthorne blood to the mess on the floor."
She pleads with the President, begging for mercy for the rest of them. "I've got big plans for you three. Well, at least for Peeta and Katniss, at this point I'm not sure what role you play in this cousin, but I do believe it to be in my advantage to keep you alive." One flick of his liver spotted wrist was all that it took, and the three teens are dragged from their home District.
Peeta sobs.
Katniss screams.
Gale raises a cacophony of curses into the night sky.
The trio is locked away in a bedroom that they are told is theirs. There is one bed, large enough to sleep the three of them, at first the boys allow Katniss to take the bed, but after a week of sleeping on the floor, and the realization that this will be their prison for the time being, they hesitantly join her in bed.
She welcomes their presence, curling up between them, trying to drown out the noise in her head. In the mornings, Gale notices that she always wakes curled into Peeta. He tries not to let their familiarity bother him, but it does.
Peeta sits silently on the bed.
Katniss sits beside him, mirroring his silence.
Gale paces like a caged animal, in many regards he is just that.
Prep teams arrive. They strip every last follicle of hair from Katniss' body, and when the technician pushes her legs apart just so then begins to wax between her legs, leaving her completely bald, she begins to realize the nature of the beast they are facing.
A ball is thrown. It is magnificent, the talk of the town, and the star crossed lovers are the honored guests, Gale is left behind in the bedroom. Dances are danced, food is consumed, smiles are given, and unbeknownst to them a marketing ploy is the scheme of the night, promises of the most spectacular live event that the Capitol has seen in awhile. As Peeta and Katniss act out perfect young adoration for the crowds, they find themselves trying to get lost in the feeling of being free, if only for a night.
Their behavior is closely monitored by possible patrons, the love between them seems evident, and ticket sales sky rocket.
A man wearing a deep burgundy suit made of velvet, with a ridiculous thin orange mustache that matches his hair arrives with a script for Peeta and Katniss.
An actual script for the events that are supposed to unfold between them, the attempt at scripting an event that should remain unscripted would be laughable if the situation were not so grave. There is no dialogue on the paper, instead lewd drawings and descriptions of what they will be expected to do to one another in front of an audience.
Examination of Katniss had allowed Snow the knowledge that Katniss was still a virgin, increasing the worth of the tickets even more. Expectations are unreasonably high, and what perverse expectations they are, the show has to be convincing and completed in such a way that will generate buzz and fanfare, so that there can be more of the same kind. If they do not succeed someone will die, and it won't be one of the three.
Peeta weeps.
Katniss withdraws into herself.
Gale seethes with anger.
"I won't do it." Peeta promises Katniss, she reaches a hand to his face, shushes him, and tells him it's okay, that he has to do it to keep Prim, his family, and the Hawthorne's safe.
In this moment Gale realizes that Peeta loves Katniss more than he will ever be possible of, for Peeta is more concerned with her happiness and safety than that of his family's. He feels conflicted.
"She's right, Mellark. You guys have to do this." Gale's heart implodes in his chest as he speaks the words, it kills him, but it is the only way. "You guys haven't done anything past kissing have you?"
Peeta and Katniss look at him and his suspicions are confirmed, he is relieved at the thought, at one point his biggest fear was that they had shared something he never had with his hunting partner. The relief is quickly replaced with fear as he realizes their inexperience will show, the event will be compromised, his family is in danger.
Katniss agrees almost immediately, surprising both boys, Peeta is harder to convince, concerned about a virtue that apparently was never Katniss' to keep.
Under Gale's careful instruction Peeta and Katniss learn how to touch and tease one another, how to lose themselves in the moment, yet never practicing the moment that they should be allowed to keep for themselves, but finding themselves getting close many times.
The situation is awkward at best; two boys both in love with a girl, one teaching the other how to touch her and her to touch him. It would be unbearable for Katniss if it wasn't Peeta and Gale who she was with, the situation is not ideal but she makes the most of it.
It mortifies Gale how turned on the teaching sessions leave him, it has nothing to do with Peeta, and everything to do with being with the girl he loves by proxy. He finds himself wishing the deflowering to be meaningful, everything that she deserves, he wishes he could hate Peeta but he can't.
Katniss is aware of how incredibly taxing the situation must before Gale, so on a night close to the night of Peeta and Katniss' expected performance, she reaches for Gale as Peeta kisses down her stomach.
When the blond head disappears between her thighs she takes Gale into her mouth and demonstrates her appreciation, she wants the act to tell him that he is not alone, that they are in this together, but that Peeta is part of the arrangement too. He senses all that and knows it to be true, yet grows increasingly bitter, even more bitter than the taste of his release in her mouth.
Peeta moans.
Katniss moans.
Gale moans.
The star crossed lovers perform perfectly, and a lot of money exchanges hands. The event goes off without a hitch.
Katniss' moans are genuine, her pleasure real, and even though she does not find completion the crowd believes that she has. The light pink stain on the sheets thrills the crowd, and they are sold to the highest bidder along with the rights to bed the pair.
And sold, they are. As a pair and solo, regardless of the arrangement they must fulfill, they always make sure that when they make it back to the room they allow the other to claim their heart and body once again.
Left alone almost every night, Gale has become increasingly broken and angry. It doesn't help that when they return, Peeta and Katniss, have seemed to have forgotten about him. He is alone and he feels alone.
Occasionally, he is invited to join in on their coupling, but never as Katniss' lover, that job is entirely Peeta's. Gale finds that the release he finds through her hands and mouth leaves him feeling emptier than before, but aside from casual conversation with Peeta, it is the only human connection he receives so he continues to indulge them.
Peeta sleeps with her in his arms.
Katniss sleeps wound around him.
Gale's sleep is lonely, even with bedmates.
Somewhere along the way Peeta and Katniss' connection has deepened, their dependency increased, her ambiguity over her feelings erased. Gale's usefulness has worn out; Snow realizes this and plans to do away with the coal miner. That is until he gets his hands on the footage from the cage he keeps the trio in.
Gale's purpose is now clear.
They are now billed as a trio, not to everyone in the Capitol, only those willing to pay immense money to buy them.
The first time Gale pushes into Katniss he realizes that any love he had for her is now gone. He decides it's best this way and tries to make himself at least care for her, but he isn't sure this is possible anymore. He does know one thing for sure, this is her fault, she is the reason that he is here.
He envies Peeta in a new way. It's not that Peeta has Katniss' love and he doesn't, it's more than that. He is jealous that Peeta still retains the capability to love.
Having sex with strangers isn't so bad, it's when he is forced to be with Katniss with Peeta watching that kills him. It hurts because he realizes how much it pains Peeta. The only thing that makes fucking Katniss in front of Peeta bearable is that he knows watching her with strangers is even more difficult for Peeta. He regrets hurting Peeta, his only friend, and he despises the Capitol. He is growing disturbingly ambiguous towards Katniss.
Peeta loves her.
Katniss loves him.
Gale regrets loving her.
The knock comes and it isn't an order for Katniss or Peeta, no this is a different type of order, Gale and Peeta leave her behind. The silence is awful, the loneliness rolling over her like storm clouds over the plain.
They return to her, Gale stumbling in with a wild, crazed look in his eyes before he crashes onto their bed, Peeta follows shortly, limping and moving slowly. They won't talk to her, won't tell her what happened in their absence. Peeta makes a move for the elaborate bathroom, shutting the door behind him, Katniss follows him and finds the door locked tight, her hand twists and she pleads for him to let her in.
"Let him be," he hadn't even turned towards her to speak, "you've done enough Katniss." She knows what he means, and she has no words to respond. Instead she leans her back heavily against the bathroom door and slides down to a sitting position. She sits there, the silence of the room engulfing her, until Peeta's broken sobs reach her ears.
For the first time, Gale decides he hates Katniss, it's her fault he and Peeta are here.
Eventually the door opens, Peeta doesn't emerge, but Katniss recognizes this as an invitation in. He is completely nude, the Capitol finery he had been pimped out in lie in a crumbled pile on the floor, Peeta is sitting on the edge of the vast marble bath tub in the corner.
He has drawn a bath, complete with bubbles that scent the air with the smell of lemons, yet he makes no move to step into the tub. She goes to him, kneeling in front of him, resting her head on his thighs and wrapping her arms around him. His hands find her hair, stroking the silky length, and dampening the back of her neck with tears flowing silently from his eyes.
He grows hard underneath the weight of her head, whether it's from sitting with her or the medication the Capitol injected him with to ensure performance, she doesn't know. It doesn't matter because she wants him, needs him to know that he isn't alone, that she is sorry, that she loves him.
She raises her head, moves to take him in her mouth, when his hand stills her head, "I should really clean up first." Katniss knows this feeling all too well, the need to try and scrub the taint and stains that can never be fully erased from your skin.
She helps him ease into the tub, noticing the bright red smear of blood, marring the perfectly white edge of the tub where he had been sitting, but she pretends she didn't notice. Katniss strips away her nightgown and underwear, sliding in behind Peeta who melts against her chest. She holds him, singing softly to him, brushing his wavy, wheat colored locks from his eyes, and soothing the tension from his chest.
They make love on the luxurious bath mat. Katniss straddles him and slowly rocks and moves with him, forcing him to look into her eyes when he glances away ashamed, she shifts backward and pulls him on top of her, the rhythm changes, morphs into a relentless pounding that is more about what he needs than mutual pleasure.
When the tremors of his climax pass, he makes his way down between her legs and attends to her with voracious tenacity, licking, tasting, probing her, proving something that needs not be proven. She loves him and tells him, but for the first time ever it doesn't feel like enough.
Peeta breaks.
Katniss is broken.
Gale is irrevocably broken.
Gale hears them in the bathroom, he always hears them, her choice has been clear for some time now. She never sings for him, always goes to Peeta after an especially terrible client, she definitely never fucks him unless it is a directive.
It hurt at first, the realization that she was Peeta's and would never be his, but the hurt passed quickly and was replaced by an emptiness, and Gale found that hating her was easier, more natural than loving her had ever been.
Of the three of them, Gale knew that Peeta was the best, he hated what he had been forced to do to him, his only ally in this fucked up triangle. He deeply believed that he and the blonde man, were stuck here by tragic circumstance, Katniss was different though, she was the one who had so boldly defied the Capitol, earning them all starring roles in Snow's freak show.
Gale feels when Katniss and Peeta crawl into bed. He waits until he can hear Peeta's deep, sleep heavy breathing to say what needs to be said, "I wish you had died in that arena."
And, he does. She would have died and he would have pined, but life would have moved on. He could have been happy again, most likely would have even married, and been content to let her memory drift from his mind as years passed.
She hears him, but doesn't respond because she doesn't know how.
Gale is right, if she would have just died, had been compliant to the Capitol's games, then the three of them wouldn't be in the mess they are in now. Instead she rolls over and tucks her face into the curve of Gale's back, she doesn't try to hide the tears that stream from her face, he needs to know that she agrees with him, death would have been preferable to the hell they now inhabit.
For both Gale and Katniss, the worst thing of all is the now vacant look that inhabits Peeta's eyes. He matches them now, he has finally been broken.
Peeta forgives.
Katniss hates herself.
Gale hates himself and her.
By the time Rebel soldiers find and release the trio, they are surprised to find Gale still alive. He was long ago suspected dead with Haymitch and the other carnage Snow long ago left in District 12.
Even Finnick, who had been the recipient of many Capitol secrets, was unaware of Gale's presence. Only those deep within the Capitol with the money and influence to purchase teenagers knew of his longevity. Keeping Gale alive had nothing to do with him, but everything to do with punishing Katniss.
Killing him would have been more merciful, Snow was not known for mercy. He had enjoyed torturing Katniss by breaking Peeta and Gale, bending all three of them to his will.
The Rebellion needed the star crossed lovers to be the faces of the Rebellion, to incite others to fight. The soldiers are not expecting a third person, but Peeta and Katniss refuse to leave without him, and they are the reason for the covert mission. The Rebellion will just have to figure out what Gale is useful for.
Peeta is rescued.
Katniss is rescued.
Gale is rescued.
Thirteen is cold, unfeeling, lifeless, just like Gale, he belongs here and blends effortlessly with the environment. His knack for creating tricky snares, and his natural ability to understand engineering quickly ranks him highly with the weapons development department. He does not flourish with his new responsibilities, merely exists to work and create, fusing his anger into the deadly weapons he constructs.
Peeta and Katniss share a compartment, Prim opts to stay with the Hawthorne's, the only family she has known for some time now, sharing a bed with Posy at night. Gale asks for his own compartment and is denied, space is tight, he is given a rooming assignment with another single male.
It doesn't matter though, he can't sleep without them, so on nights when the fatigue and memories are too much he knocks on the door to their compartment and slips into their tiny bed with them.
He hates himself and his dependency on the two lovers, but he can't help it.
Peeta always greets him with a gentle smile and a light clap on the back, Gale wonders how he can truly be so welcoming and good, especially on the nights it is obvious that he has interrupted amorous activity.
The night that Katniss becomes Mellark, Gale stays away allowing the newlyweds the time they deserve; he knows he will not return to the now official Mellark compartment.
For the first time, Katniss' heart is completely full. Her mind is clear, her resolve determined, she feels absolute as she feeds Peeta pieces of burnt bread in the solitude of their compartment.
Peeta's smiles are full, his eyes glassy with adoration as he tells her of the many times he dreamt of this night, he can't believe that it is actually reality. They spend the night making love and allowing themselves to dream of the future, and an eventual return to District 12. Neither notices the absence of the dark headed man who usually occupies the far side of their bed.
Peeta is complete.
Katniss is complete.
Gale shatters further.
They will be Mockingjays together they decide. They will be the faces of the eventually successful Rebellion, and even though they do not know it now, they will eventually parent two children in an entirely different world, made better because of their involvement.
When the Rebellion is successful and the Capitol has fallen, Gale understands that his usefulness has passed, his purpose served. There is no where left for him to go, so he goes where what's left of his heart directs him, he goes to what used to be their spot.
It is not Katniss that finds him strung from the tree as he suspected it would be. No, it is the one person who Gale would have not wanted to find him that way.
The blonde man drops to his knees in front of the tree, despair ripping through his soul, he knew that Gale was broken, but he thought that he and Katniss would be able to piece him back together.
The note left is simple, and while Peeta knows it was meant for Katniss he destroys it leaving it to the wind to scatter, she's lost so much, blames herself for everything.
He cannot let her bear this burden too.
In the same unsteady scrawl, that so many months ago had questioned the liabilities of their plan to run, Gale pleads his case:
You'll never deserve him, you know? But, he wants you and you alone make him happy. Out of all of us, he is the one who is worthy of happiness.