Author's Note:
As the summary stated, this is a story told backwards. No, this does not mean that you can scroll to the bottom and read up. I urge you to please read it the way it was written. There ARE some artistic liberties I took with this, such as leaving some grammatical errors in the dialogue because they were the original dialogue pieces from the Black and White games. Yes, there is no period at the end. I challenge you to understand why. There are a few other things I did, but I'll leave it up to all of you to find. I hope you enjoy the romance that never bloomed, and happy Valentine's Day!
~The End~
A cold stone slab protrudes from the mud. Under a torrent of rain, its edges are worn and disfigured and diseased with moss. In a maze of identical headstones, it sits apart. Identity besmirched, the stone stands with a pitiful handful of hydrangeas before it. The blossoms are torn and clumped with mud and rain, littered in the mud as blue specks.
On the other side of the flowers, a new gravestone faces the broken. Adorned with bushels of flora now ruined by such dreary a weather, the unspoiled surface shines with glossy film, and the words carved are painfully clear. They are inerasable.
"Here unto lies Touko White who lived life with great passion and honesty.
'Make your dream a reality; it will become your truth. If anyone can, it's you.'"
The end date isn't important.
Prominently, a single drop of water rolls down the face of the irreparable grave. It rolls into more of its brethren, congealing into large versions of itself before reaching the edge where it hesitates. Dangling there, the drop hangs, uncertain whether or not it wants to fall. The bead that follows after pushes it over and makes the decision it too will be incapable of making for itself.
"Here unto lies N, who lived life with great loneliness and strife—and stupidity."
If there's anything that could be written upon such a damaged surface, the grave imagines that would be it.
Reaching out, the grave scoops up the remnants of the hydrangeas and lets them rest in his muddy hands. Their withered forms take up little space in comparison to his large palms. Rain gathers in tiny pools, washing away the earth and flowers to return them to their rightful place and leave his hands bare.
A low wail is drowned by the wind and rain.
If he could just hold her, just one time, then the words that were engraved on his soul would be legible. Now, they are scribbles even he cannot not read.
"Touko!"
N calls through the drear as he pushes through the brush.
They said she'd be here. All the signs pointed to this one place, so where is she? His purrloin trails close behind him, sniffing the ground for any sign of another human other than N, but the earth and the forest remain seemingly undisturbed.
"Touko!"
The hero of ideals ducks under a branch and looks through the foggy air. Even if she were here, he's not sure that he'll find her. However, this feeling pushing him forward is all he needs to keep going.
He must find her.
When he does, he'll finally be able to understand what it is he experiences when she's near—what it is he feels when she isn't. What his dreams mean...
"Touko!"
As he emerges into a small clearing, he looks around and lets out a deep exhale. The fog is too deep to navigate, and if he stays much longer, he's not sure if he'll be able to find his way out again. Shaking his head, he proceeds to return.
SNAP!
Something beneath his foot gives way and shatters into dozens of pieces. At the sound, he dips down to inspect the strange object, and the thing he holds in his hands looks like a broken Xtransceiver—a pink, broken Xtransceiver.
"Touko?" He looks around, wide-eyed, and then glances to the ground as he walks toward the other side of the clearing...stopping when he sees the hand laying outstretched against the soil. "TOUKO!"
Falling to his knees, he grabs the hand and follows it back to the body of the limp girl. He hopes that this is someone else—some other poor girl who got lost in the woods. Touko would have never gotten lost; she'd traveled over regions by herself.
Yet, as he kneeled on the ground beneath the mass of the fog, he could see her pale face clearly. She's still vaguely warm, and N scrambles to press his head to her chest. He tries to listen, and for a few moments, he thinks he can hear her heart beating...but it's only his own.
Her limbs are becoming stiff, and when he moves to cradle her head, her lashes open slightly to reveal the blank stare hidden beneath.
"T-Touko?" His voice cracks, and he holds her head the crook of his elbow as he hovers his trembling, free hand over her chilled face. Her body is bloodless, completely unmarred, and if she had been in her own bed, he would have mistaken her for asleep. Whatever happened, he doesn't know, nor does he care to know.
Gone—what a bitter truth to taste.
Swallowing, he bites his bottom lip and looks up to the dawning sky as if to thwart gravity's pull on his tears. He doesn't pretend like he doesn't know that she's ventured farther than he can follow. He doesn't try to deny it. The pain he feels is too strong to be a dream...
Months had passed since he left Unova again in search of his fellow hero.
Regions and islands, he visited everywhere his pokémon would take him in the hope he would see her again. He's not sure why he's so invested in seeing her again. This draw he feels is nearly as strong as the pull he felt when they first met, and the drive he has to find her is nearly as strong as instinct.
He's looking for home. Wherever she is, that is the place where he knows he'll feel accepted again. The emptiness he feels will be filled again.
Soaring in the clouds, he looks down over the ocean and watches the seel rising and diving with the waves. They're flashes of white in a vast expanse of nothingness.
And like the seel, she stands there on the cliffside. He sees her as he passes by, and he forces his pokémon to land abruptly on the rocky surface nearby. She looks out over the crashing waves against the promontory. Her hair is undone and flying out behind her in the sea breeze. Hat and gear in a pile behind her, she wears only a tee-shirt and shorts and buries her bare feet into the wet grass.
"Touko!" He walks briskly to her side, reaching out to touch her arm, and when she turns to look at him with that smile, he opens his mouth...but no words come out.
"N." She says his name tenderly, and it's exactly the way he always imagined she'd say it.
Delicately, he touches her pale face, and the smooth surface almost feels real. "Touko, I…"
She kisses him. She kisses him, and for a moment, he stands there stiff because he's never thought that this could happen. Slowly, as if afraid that such a moment is to be a fantasy, he cups both sides of her face and closes his eyes before melting into the kiss.
When he opens his eyes, he's in a pokémon center room—the same room he had fallen asleep in hours before.
Years after the events at the Pokémon League and N's Castle, Unova was ravaged again by Team Plasma's plans. Ghetsis and Colress returned with a vengeance, but Team Plasma never reached its former glory. Split between Ghetsis and N, the organization was only a shadow of its former self and was consequently foiled by a young trainer named Nate.
Today, N sits beside that trainer on Nimbasa City's Ferris wheel. As the dusk settles over the busy town, the Ferris wheel lights flicker on, and N stares over the slowly illuminating landscape. Nate, as silent as the hero he once knew, sits across the cab and configures the Xtransceiver in his hands. The two don't interact much, but both are quite content the way things are.
However, unlike the time before, N isn't compelled to tell Nate the things he told Touko the last time they were here. There was something special about her, and the more he sits here in this Ferris cab, the more he thinks about her.
He imagines she's sitting where Nate is sitting, holding her pre-evolved starter and listening to everything he has to say without complaint or wavering attention.
Where is she now?
It's been two years since he said farewell. He had returned to Unova in the hopes of seeing her again, but it didn't take him long to discover that she left not long after he did. Was she looking for him too?
Half of him hoped she was, and the other half couldn't understand why.
To the end of the castle ruins, N walks with Touko. The cube around his neck bounces with every step he takes, and for a long time, he focuses on that as opposed to saying anything.
He can feel her eyes on him, and when he looks up to her, that strange feeling in his stomach manifests. Her face is smudged with black marks, and her arms and legs are littered with scrapes, dirt, and dried blood. Even like that—with her hair undone from its ponytail and flowing in a tangled mess—she is a battled beauty.
"Touko...I want to talk to you about something. It's about when I first met you…"
He tells her the things her pokémon told him. Recalling how moved he was, he admitted that he hadn't been able to understand her. He couldn't believe that there were pokémon that liked people because, up until that moment, he had never known a pokémon like that. The longer their journey together continued, the more unsure he was. That was why he needed to confirm his beliefs by battling her. He wanted to confront her hero-to-hero. He wanted to see her. He needed that more than anything.
Stopping momentarily, he slides his hands into his pockets and stares at her hole-borne shoes.
"There's no way a person like me, someone who understands only pokémon—No, actually. I didn't understand them either. No way could I measure up to you when you had met so many pokémon and were surrounded by friends."
She shakes her head slowly, and her hand twitches as if she wants to reach out and touch him… Nevertheless, she stands there complacently and allows him to finish.
"What I should do now is something I'll have to decide for myself." He nods slowly, affirming this more to himself than anything, and walks forward without her.
"Touko!" he calls back. "You...You have a dream, don't you? That dream… Make it come true! Make your wonderful dream a reality, and it will become your truth! Touko, if anyone can… If anyone can, it's you."
He approaches the gaping hole in the wall where Zekrom awaits, and when he turns to look at her gentle face, he finally brings a timid smile to his countenance.
"Well, then… Farewell!"
Not able to stay a second longer, he crawls up the beast's form and tears himself away from the ruins of the castle.
He never sees her reach out after him.
Ghetsis stands before him, eyes alight with a fury N is too accustomed to.
"You think you can share the name Harmonia with me? You good-for-nothing boy! There is such a thing as being too stupid! Add it up, and you are nothing more than a warped, defective boy…"
N looks away, and it isn't because he can't look at his father.
Touko stands beside her partner pokémon, Alder, and Cheren. She allows Ghetsis and the other two to bicker, but N knows without looking that her gaze never leaves him. There's a twinge of something in his gut, but it's drowned out by the pain he feels.
He's been used. Everything he knows is a lie manufactured by someone he thought he could trust. His ideals are not his own, and in this moment, he wishes he could be a hero of truth instead.
"I prepared someone for that purpose—N! He's nothing more than a freak without a human heart. Do you think you're going to get through to a warped person like that?"
Eyes of internal suffering follow the ravaged ground to his benefactor's feet and up the robe until he can see the sadistic expression on that time-touched face. In wrinkled hands, a pokéball is held.
"TOUKO!" he cries out when he realizes his father's plan. He rushes forward with his arm outstretched, not sure what he'll do when he gets in between them. His pokémon are defeated and too wounded to aid him. Perhaps, this is his penance.
The female trainer looks toward him. And he stops when he sees her smile—the first time he's ever seen it. Pinching the bridge of her pink-brimmed baseball cap, she nods and takes a step forward to Ghetsis.
He watches as she takes her own pokémon and does something he never had the courage to do: face his father.
Her pokémons' voices cry out in their shared determination.
With Reshiram's might, her pokémon's adoration, and N's trust newly earned, Touko teaches him once more the truth of people and pokémon. Anything can be achieved when you're with one you love.
But above even that, she teaches him that maybe—perhaps—he might have a human heart after all.
On a throne, he looks over his achievements.
The champion? Defeated.
His castle? Built.
The legendary pokémon? Captured.
His dream? Within his grasp.
And even with these things, he is unhappy.
He had expected her to come, and here he sits with the world at his feet and still unsatisfied because the dream and the hope that lives inside him cannot be fulfilled without her presence. The emptiness he feels is paramount to the achievement he should be experiencing in the aftermath of his father's approval and the recognition of his hard work.
"Where is the other?"
The legendary pokémon's voice fills his head, but it's only a mirror of the questions he's asking himself.
Head resting against his golden seat, he looks to the ceiling.
"What do you desire, hero?"
"What I desire…" he mutters aloud, "is a world for pokémon and pokémon alone. I will separate pokémon from people so pokémon can regain their original power."
"Are you certain?"
N hesitates. And in the moment, his breath catches, and the grandiose doors of the great hall burst asunder.
She storms down the blue runway confidently, and there's a beauty in the way she holds herself. The fiery passion in her eyes accentuated by the confidence she shares with her partner pokémon.
His heart beats a cacophony in his chest, and he stands to rush down the aisle to greet her. The mask he wears on his face barely contains the excitement that threatens to pour forth. Yet, when nears, he's repulsed by the look he receives.
She stares at him with disdain and anger. Confident and passionate—yes. However, the acceptance she had once given him is gone like the light after a lightning flash.
Wounded, N prompts her to bring forth her dragon and fight her one last time. His own legendary pokémon flies from the skies above, landing behind him in an azure bolt. But she doesn't reach for the Light Stone he knows she must have, and when he finally reaches an understanding, the pain he feels magnifies.
She can't summon Reshiram.
She isn't the other hero.
All the love she supposedly feels for her pokémon isn't real.
Perhaps if she was, he could have finally convinced her to change the world with him.
"Through our many battles, I got the feeling that you might be a trainer who truly cares for pokémon! But I was kidding myself..." He shakes his head and looks to Zekrom because he can't bear to look at her eyes anymore. "You have two options. Challenge me to a fight you can't win or leave this place and watch the birth of a new world where pokémon are free of people."
But she doesn't move, and again, she doesn't say anything.
He wants to push her away, get her to leave this place because he doesn't want to have to fight her...not again. However, the light that envelops the room stops him from having to make a decision.
A blazing heat surrounds them, and before either can react, the dragon of truth presents itself to the both of them, confirming his deepest hopes.
It isn't difficult for Touko to tame the beast; there is hardly a need for that. The dragon and her are mere reflections of one another, and that's far more than what he can say about himself and the other legendary pokémon.
The fight that ensues may be more intense and powerful than any of the others before it, but the nostalgia N feels during such cannot be denied.
He fights her with everything he has, and she returns his enthusiasm tenfold until both verge on collapsing. Around them, the castle has turned into a battlefield, and ornate rubble is tossed about like waste. Bestial roars shake the earth, charging the air and igniting their passion.
Yet, no matter how hard he fights, his ideals can't triumph the truth. He's left with nothing but a broken home and an understanding.
"It's not by rejecting different ideas, but by accepting different ideas that the world creates a chemical reaction. This is truly the formula for changing the world..."
N and Touko have had many battles in the events leading up to where they stand, atop the world at Dragonspiral Tower. And yet, he's no closer to understanding her.
Amongst the pillars, he stands beneath Zekrom's galvanizing form. It makes him feel small and powerful at the same time, and when he turns away from the dragon to look behind him, he can see her rushing up the stairs. Her partner pokémon is in tow close behind, and it's voice is even stronger now. Through all the battles and trials they have endured, it has remained a loyal servant—nay, companion.
He welcomes her, excited by her presence. If anyone can understand him, it's her. Surely, she will join him now on his quest to liberate all pokémon! Her partner pokémon must be dear to her if it loves her as much as it does, so why wouldn't she wish to help?
That's how little he understands her.
She shakes her head and stands there mutely, looking at the dragon and then him with some expression of what he believes to be disappointment. It's an expression he's seen too often in Ghetsis and his supporters. And it hurts.
He challenges her to find the other dragon. If she can do that, they can battle again. Then maybe, he'll be able to learn what it is that makes her so different from the rest.
One last battle, and everything will become clearer.
That's what he wishes for, but he leaves with the legendary dragon emptier and more unsure than when he had first arrived.
In the Nimbasa City Ferris Wheel, he truly knows her for the first time. He's not entirely sure himself why he asks her to join him there.
He considers that perhaps he chooses this place because it offers the privacy he rarely gets. This is his getaway from the grunts that follow him so insistently. However, it doesn't explain why anywhere else couldn't have been better. There's something intimate about being alone on a Ferris wheel, and for the first few minutes, he focuses only on the things he came here to tell her.
He is the King of Team Plasma. He works with Ghetsis to save all pokémon. These facts were all he intended to say.
He learned he could speak with pokémon at a very young age. He was abandoned for that very reason. Ghetsis took him in and raised him as a son and a king. He has two adopted sisters. He's not sure whether or not he can do what his father expects of him. Is he doing the right thing? And for a long time, these things and more are what he tells her.
The words come naturally to him, and there's something about her that comforts him. When he looks at her in the intervals of silence littered throughout his story, there's a feeling that he can't explain. Perhaps that is because he has never known people as well as he has known pokémon.
Or perhaps, she's just special.
While she listens, she sits there in silence as she always does and will do. Attentive and understanding, she nods on occasion and allows him to continue without interruption.
When he exits the Ferris wheel with her close behind, he doesn't battle her solely because he's the diversion for another's escape. He battles her because he wants to hear that voice again and see that look in her eyes.
He wants to know what kind of person could so willingly accept someone like him.
They meet in Accumula Town.
In a dissipating crowd, he sees two people apart from the rest. Standing as all but him leave, the boy in the pair turns to his female compatriot and says something N doesn't quite pick up.
It's none of his business anyway.
However, as he turns to leave, he hears a voice inaudible to all but him. It's quiet yet strong, and what it says makes his head turn to the female—a trainer by the looks of it. She's young and filled with an energy he finds refreshing in an odd way.
He wants to disregard her, but the voice he hears cannot be mistaken. That brave voice calls out to him, and it says things he never thought he'd hear about 'one of them.' How could a trainer possibly..? She looks no different than any other. Youthful and ready to make mistakes, she likely doesn't know the first thing about taking care of pokémon.
She's just another Trainer.
So why, then? Why does that voice defend her so? Why is it so happy?
That's what propels him to pause in his retreat. Curiosity and an unknown force draw him to her. It pulls him to confront her, Touko, and the boy named Cheren. While the boy is what he'd expect—with his loud mouth and louder attitude—she is something different...something refreshing. She says nothing. She doesn't react to his odd behavior the way others have. When he probes her and jabs at their life decisions, she doesn't fight back or berate him. She stands there and summons the pokémon whose voice he had heard.
The longer they fight, the more the voice bellows, "I like Touko! I want to be with Touko! I would do anything for Touko!"
And he can't understand. Not yet.
However, the one thing he comes to realize during their first battle, is the gleam he'll love in her eyes. It's as fierce as the dragon she will befriend and as kind as the truth she'll teach him.
Before all, there were only the sounds of children and pokémon playing. Innocence prevailed over the worries of the future—left to the adults.
Locked away in a room, N only dreamt of what could be beyond those walls. The things he could be and the places he would go and the people he would meet… Yes, the people...
What people he'll meet!
What pokémon he'll friend!
What wonders he'll find!
When it all begins is irrelevant
~The Beginning~