Reminiscing (Vampire Knight One-shot)

DISCLAIMER: I actually remembered for once! Vampire Knight does not belong to me (if it did, Yuuki and Zero would totally be together by now). It belongs to Matsuri Hino. All characters and pretty much everything belongs to her.

Author's Note: I'll admit, this probably isn't my best work, but I just felt the necessity to publish this. I'm also hoping that the context clues would be obvious enough for you to figure out from who's point of view it is. There's a few spoilers also. I used a few scenes from the actual manga, but I also added some scenes. I support Zero X Yuuki, so this is Zeki parts are what I interpret from actual chapters of the manga. Other parts are actual scenes from chapters of the manga. Lastly, there are a few scenes I made up and threw in there, just because I wanted to. As always, constructive criticism and reviews are 's just a short one-shot, so I'm not really thinking of a sequel, unless fans want me to write one...but then of course, I have no fans, so there's no point to this ^^'

She had absolutely no clue how her life spiraled to what it was now. She chose to be with him, but at the same time, she wasn't quite sure she chose the right decision. By his side, she was happy, but sometimes, she missed the wider variety of emotions she'd shown when she was with a certain silver-haired friend of her's. She almost felt as if she could only show a limited amount of emotions. She wanted to feel the childish irritation she only felt when she was with the man she'd departed from. Looking back now, she found it ironic. She never thought she'd miss being a prefect with her silver-haired companion. When she was a prefect, she found the whole thing to be troublesome, but thrilling at the same time. It was tiring, having to deal with all those screaming fangirls. Things were always easier when he was around. All he had to do was glare, and the girls would be scared half to death. She smiled slightly at the memory. He'd always get so annoyed that they were the only ones who knew the secret of the Night Dorm. It was a burden, yes, but she felt important, knowing some big secret. It was especially amusing when he would get so annoyed, and then their "Father" would thank them. He was silly, but she always felt as if he really were her father.

She thought back to the very first time she met Zero Kiryuu. It was the first time she'd ever met someone with such a look of pure hatred in his eyes…especially someone so young. Immediately, she was drawn to him like bees to honey. He was fascinating. True, he was a bit brutal at times, but she just took so much joy out of taking care of him. The process was slow, but worth it when he slowly warmed up to her and showed her more of his emotions. She'd never forget the day when he and Kaname had first met each other. Immediately, he was hostile and furious. That night, he wouldn't even let her touch him. He slapped her hand away, and it hurt her. It was a painful sight to see another night, when he slowly scratched at his neck. "I still feel that woman…" he stated mournfully. She almost instinctively dove at him and pulled his hand away from his bloody neck, replacing it with her own. "It's okay now…it's okay." She didn't want to see him hurt himself. Since that night, she'd sworn to be by his side. The only time she ever told him that was when he'd almost left her. She'd embraced him, capturing him in her warm arms, as she announced, "I will be on your side, Zero!"

The brown-haired girl frowned slightly at her recollections. Zero's life had never been easy. She realized by now, that he probably hated himself. He became what he hated the most. Almost all of his confrontations with vampires had been bad. He was born and taught to hate vampires and hunt them down when ordered to. His hatred was fueled when Shizuka had killed his parents, taken his beloved twin brother, and turned him. The process was painful, she heard. He had to hide that pain for ten years… she didn't hate him for drinking her blood. She didn't hate herself for continuing to feed him. In fact…her feelings were far from hate.

She'd always been by his side, especially when things were the worst for him. She couldn't help but feel awkward when he told her, "Don't touch me with those hands that you've touched him with." But despite his cold, harsh words, she knew he would never intentionally hurt her. When she first met him, there were times when he was sweet and struggled to voice his thoughts, but it was hard for him. So she would take the action…she would be the direct one, always rushing forward with a warm hug and sweet, tender words.

She started boiling with self-hatred as she remembered how she was. Although she'd promised herself that she'd stay by his side, she was always, always thinking about that certain brown-haired vampire that saved her in that snowy night. She was smarter now. She'd realized that Zero liked loved her romantically. Although at the time, she couldn't respond to his feelings, she thought of herself as a horrible person. She'd always dragged the silver-haired man around with her, just so she could be brave enough to confess to another. It must've hurt him to always have to witness that and listen to her talk about Kaname in a dream-like mood.

That brown-haired vampire always made her heart pound painfully against her chest. She'd loved him since he saved her that snowy night. As time passed, her affection remained. Things only became worse as time passed, though.

The girl left her spot beside the window and seated herself in a chair. She pulled her stationary out. The rose at the top of the paper momentarily caught her eyes, before she got a pencil, starting to jot down her feelings.

She wondered how he was now. She knew that even if she loved Kaname dearly, she'd never forgive him if he ever dared to kill Zero. She wouldn't allow harm to come to him. Though she never wanted to depart from him, she knew that the time had come. Before they departed, he'd gently pressed his lips against hers. She didn't want to admit it, but she'd wanted him to hold her for just a bit longer…she wanted his lips to linger a bit longer against her's… She wouldn't forget his words. "Go Yuuki…Go be next to the man who can spend eternity with you…" He'd never understand how unbelievably hurt she was. Did he no longer wish to be at her side? Did he no longer care for her? Would he just leave her and never want anything to do with her? "But next time we meet…I will kill you, Yuuki." She knew that his goal became to exterminate all purebloods. But she knew, better than anyone, that the moment he reached his goal, he would no longer want live, and no longer would he find value in his life. She'd replied simply, "Well then, in that case…I will keep running away from you, Zero...so that you will still have a reason to live…by still having enemies to go after." She never wanted to be his enemy…but she'd always wanted him to live. Was it really the only way? But either way, there'd always be a special place in her heart…especially for him.

What was he thinking about right now?

When Kaname had taken her to that place to hide, she, undeniably, still felt an attachment to the human side of her…the side Zero asked about before they'd departed.

She wouldn't take blood using her fangs…that was too much like a vampire…she wanted to preserve the human side of her.

She scribbled down the same lines on the paper, "What are you thinking about right now?" Zero had always been so mysterious…she always wondered what he thought…how he felt. She frowned, realizing how ridiculous she must've sounded. She tore up the paper and opened the window. She let the icy breeze carry away the ripped up scraps. When she'd returned to her seat, she found herself writing the same lines again…

When her bracelet clanked against her wrist, she brought it up to her lips, gently pressing her lips against the small pendent. It was the only thing she had left to remember Zero by.

What are you thinking about right now?

For a moment, she sniffed and announced to no one in general, "I smell snow." She smiled slightly. Snow reminded her of Zero. If the snow captured the sunlight at the right time, it shimmered the same gorgeous silver as Zero's hair. At times, Zero was also as cold as snow…

The sudden knock on the door startled her. Before her "hard-working" private tutor, Aidou, could see her letter, she'd shoved him away, hurriedly shoving the paper into the drawer of the desk. When he inquired who she'd written to, her mind searched for excuses. After pausing for a second, she replied, "Yori-chan." He offered to secretly send the letter out for her in exchange that she got at least a seventy-five out of a hundred on the next test, but she declined his offer. She wouldn't risk letting him see her words. He was completely loyal to Kaname, so he'd inevitably tell him. Did she forget to mention that she thought of the days when she and Zero would fall asleep in class because of exhaustion from prefect duties, only to have to take extra courses together?

Moments later, Kaname entered the room, and she realized that as she said Kaname's name aloud, she still kept calling him "senpai." If it wasn't that, she'd always address him as "onii-sama." Was that also because of the human side of her that she clung to?

Before she watched the dark-haired vampire turn away, she heard him say, "We've arranged to have a meeting with the Hunter Association..."

Hunter Association? Zero?

She left her seat, and she sauntered towards the open window. Only one question rang through her mind. Gently, she traced her fingers against the frost that'd condensed on the window and traced the question that echoed through her mind.

Will I be able to see you again, Zero?

She wiped the words away with the palm of her hand. He had an undeniable half of her heart. She realized that even if he wasn't directly at her side, she could always feel his presence. She always had her memories of times together with him, and she always had her feelings for him. As time passed, her affection for him only grew. As a very slight blush covered her cheeks, she smiled and whispered a word that was barely audible to even to herself. "Zero…"