I have written several stories about this scene in the dark tournament, I've probably bored everyone to death with how many times I've written about it. But I bought the whole series, you know saving money up over time and all, and re-watched it in English and Japanese with my little brother.
And he gave me this great idea, so here I go again! As usual I own nothin'.
GENKAI
What a mess...what a mess...
I had thought giving Yusuke my power would have been enough for this tournament...so foolish. Old as hell, and I can still be foolish! Yusuke's problem with him and his power is not just inexperience as a fighter. I had forgotten he was an emotionally retarded individual...
Dammit.
I don't want to release this bomb, I don't want to give out this information. There are things people my age observe about the youth, about anything. When you get old, you really take a look at things...and read between every line...I miss my youthful days when I could have played oblivious more than ever now. But I had persuaded Koenma to let me come back to witness this battle...so it's my own fault...and clearly I have no choice. Even in this small body of an animal, I can feel what is left of my human heart breaking. Flying out to greet the battle scene, I have no choice but to release my information.
"You will never let this old woman have some peace and quiet will you Yusuke?" Yusuke looks so startled to hear from me. I wish I could pull him in my arms and just hold him. I love him like a son...and I'm glad I'm not his mother. If I was I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of what I was about to say next, "Toguro? You want to see Yusuke's real power come to the surface? I'll tell you how. He's very predictable. The only thing you have to do is kill one of his friends and make sure he's watching."
And the bomb is dropped.
I've paid attention to Yusuke throughout this match, and I know the labryinth that makes up his heart. Under all his attitude, his stupidity, beats the heart of a young man who loves his friends...and loves having them. This is the only way to save him, and the remaining lives in this tournament. Save all but one. And as I know Yusuke, I also know Toguro...and he will know exactly who to choose. He too has watched Yusuke and his friends...I'm so disgusted with myself that a peace after death will not be so easily attained.
"Yusuke has a six foot wall of crap between him and his actual emotions and that's where his power resides. To break through that wall you have to do something drastic, like killing someone he really cares for."
I know Toguro has already had these thoughts cross through his mind, what I don't know is why he has hesitated in carrying out with it. It's all so obvious.
Yusuke mentions that dying ruined my heart...stupid kid. Stupid kid...I love him like a son, but I can't hide this pain from him. Pretend that in every fight that something important isn't at stake. I am sorry.
"Open your childish eyes dimwit. If you don't stop Toguro everyone in this stadium dies, and dammit! If the life of one friend is what it takes to save the rest of them, then that sacrifice is worth it!"
The words are hard, but they are true...even if I don't wish them to be. But this world, a world of good and evil, a world of fighting is not meant to be an easy battle. This life is always an uphill climb, with weights wrapped around your ankles, and lives of innocent people dangling around your shoulders and neck. If you loosen you resolve for even a moment, if you let it slip, a life gets lost, and the weight gets heavier. It's a heavy burdan to carry, but if you choose to fight for the sake of others, it's one you must bare.
Yusuke's reaction is to be expected. It's heartbreaking, and angry...confused, disappointed, betrayed...I can only say now that I hope he locks this moment, and the next few minutes in his head, and learns from it. When you fight...it's only a matter of time when something like this happens if you let something like your attitude keep you from doing what needs to get done.
Yusuke's pain and anger, they're all attached to that foolish naiveté he carried around in a locked box.
A slap will wake him up, and open that box.
"Sorry Yusuke. But this is the world you stuck yourself into, and it's not pretty. When you're not strong enough to lead you lose the privilege of getting what you want."
As soon as the worlds were out of my mouth a I felt the sting Toguro's power that batted me away. Yusuke fell and I flew off, hearing Toguro's scolding voice. It was odd to hear him say how the thought of killing one of Yusuke's friends, "didn't feel right."
Folding my arms I wait for what Toguro will say. And of course he selects exactly who I thought he would.
"How about you, Kuwabara?"
At Toguro's words I spare a look at the boy with a heart of gold.
I am really sorry....
KOENMA
I am not fit to rule anything...
It's all I can think about as this monster approaches. I let Genkai make the decisions on what should be said to make Yusuke stronger, and now someone is going to die. Just because I rule spirit world does not meant I encourage death, and the loss of friendships, and loved ones. I should not have let Genkai make this decison. I'm Yusuke's boss...I'm the ruler of spirit world! What should have been done...that should have been my decision.
"Did you really have to do that Genkai? Let's just hope to all it works..."
I'm speaking quietly as I watch Genkai fold her small arms, (a comical sight in that borrowed body) and I find I'd rather stare critically at her than see Yusuke's angry and hurt face. He is a child. What was I thinking? Making this child a detective?
I am not fit to rule anything...
I need to learn. I have to become a better leader, I have to grow up so I can prevent this from happening. I can only wonder what is going through Kuwabara's mind now. He looks terrified. Confused. Anxious...and there's a whole other slew of emotions I can't name.
Shit.
Not only have I involved Yusuke in this matter, but Kuwabara. He's been volunteering his services for all these dangerous missions. I thought he was crazy. Hell, stupid was a better word. But I've grown to like Kuwabara. He's nice, and he cares about everyone, he's compassionate...a little too compassionate for this fight, but that empathy for others is truly a remarkable trait. I admire Kuwabara, and I wish now I did more than just thank him for helping Yusuke. I should have thanked him and then told him he was not allowed to fight.
But dammit it's too late.
What can I say to this young man who has just been sentenced to death...and then...Kuwabara speaks...
"Stay back guys! I'm the one he wants!"
What?! What the hell can Kuwabara be saying? Kurama and Hiei were prepared to fight...though what good it would do I honestly don't know...but it was something! Hiei and Kurama are telling him to think, to wake up...but something dark is creeping and telling me Kuwabara is making the most grown up decision here...and it's wrong. He's only a child. I unconsciously drown out Hiei and Kurama's voices, and then Kuwabara is looking at me.
"Hmm...Hey Koenma? You risked your life on Urameshi's fight and now I'm going to do the same," He turns at an angle and salutes me with three fingers, smiling nervously, "So make a place for me. And make sure my wake is as good as his."
No. No. No. No. No. No...No! You'll die! You'll die!!
"Kuwabara I...uh..."
Every warning I want to say to him dies in my throat. He's not listening. He's...so brave. So scared.
Why am I such a coward? How can I stop this? Why am I letting this happen. I can't register the passage of time anymore. Everything is frozen as Kuwabara makes a speech about how everyone has to die. You're 15 fucking years old Kazuma! You don't have to die yet! A child shouldn't be ready to die yet!! Shit.
SHIT!
HE'S RUNNING AHEAD!
…
The sound of tearing flesh, of something wet splashing in the air...then liquid hitting the ground, the muted gasp of a dying man...a heartbeat. Everything drowns my senses and I can't bring myself to listen to Kuwabara's words...surely his last words. It's such a rush, a rush I've never experienced.
The loss of someone I actually cared about.
Kuwabara's hulking form shivers, and hunches over. He shakes, his blood staining the white clothes he's wearing, and then with his hand still reaching out he drops like a stone. I am running, but not hearing the words around me, not noticing how fast Kurama and Hiei are overtaking me...My eyes are watching the aura fade, and drop away. He's leaving, he's going, he's dying!
He's dying, he's dying, he's dying!!
A faint heartbeat, and a sliver of life force flickering from Kuwabara's core reminds me...
I am not fit to rule.
BOTAN
Hearing Genkai's voice out of Puu's body was like a warm breeze in the middle of a frigid winter. It made me relish in the feel of that warmth and helped me breathe again. She asked myself and Yukina to put up a shield to protect the others.
I was so happy.
And now watching this, I feel so dumb.
Genkai all but ordered Toguro to choose from Yusuke's friends and kill one of them. I unwillingly looked at the line up...Koenma was down there. I...feel selfish, but I wished with all my heart it would not be Koenma. And Toguro turned and pointed out at the group.
Kurama, Hiei, Kuwabara, Koenma...they were all slabs of meat to Toguro.
I waited in awful anticipation at his selection.
"How about you Kuwabara?"
I gasped. My knees shook. My hands grew cold. And I weakly registered Shizuru's startled gasp. Oh God. That warm breeze that had been created by the sound of Genkai's voice turned cold. Colder than it had been. I cursed myself for thinking the pain would have been any less as long as it had not been Koenma...My eyes unwillingly fell on Puu, who sat in front of George at the bottom of the stadium.
How could she say that!?
How could she?!
She had stood side by side with me at her own tournament just months ago, and had witnesed what happens to Yusuke when one of his friends was hurt. When Kuwabara had gone down from Rando, I felt I could truly understand those two boy's relationship then. Their weird camaraderie...those out of place arguments they had...how protective they were over one another, but so unwilling to admit it...boys are so stupid...
But their relationship is touching and moving...and now Genkai is encouraging this moment to happen?
WHY?!
"Urameshi does appear to be the most protective of you. Let's see you bring out his hidden emotions. I'll make this quick."
It's like Toguro's words are trying to answer my questions...but...this can't be the answer. This can't be what does it...this can't be...it...
Oh God...this really is the only way we can be saved.
This is...the only way we can be saved. How cruel...how cruel! Kuwabara's going to die because no one can do anything? Because we're counting on a 15 year old boy? HOW CRUEL!
I don't want to watch!
I don't want to see Yusuke's eyes again...not those eyes. His eyes bare the very depth of his soul, revealing his innermost turmoil. And there is something truly awful about those eyes when it concerns the threat of losing Kuwabara. I don't understand why, but Kuwabara seems so fragile. Even Yusuke, who is also a human, seems more demon like...seems more capable of survival. Why can't Kuwabara be stronger?
That's a cruel thought...it's not Kuwabara's fault he's a human...it's...
"NOOOOOOOOO!!"
Yusuke's cry has ripped apart my heart...just as Toguro has done to Kuwabara. It just happened...Kuwabara just...ran out there while my mind was wandering...and it jsut happened! Like snuffing out a candle flame Kuwabara is gone? Yukina is sobbing. Shizuru is screaming. Oh God. Oh Koenma...why did we let this happen? No...no...Kuwabara...I took Genkai to the other world...and I have to take Kuwabara too? But Kuwabara is...he's just a big kind hearted child!
I can't do this again. I won't...I won't. I can't take his spirit.
Oh Koenma!! Make this go away!
YUKINA
I am not...strong...I can't really fight, nor do I want to. I don't like these visions of death or these bodies all around me. It makes me sad, and my heart hurt...Keiko is collapsed next to me. Her pain is my pain. To see her in this way I think...just how close I am to acting just like her.
It's hard to understand it all. Why people and demons alike have to do this. They really don't but they choose too...sometimes I don't think we have the right to have free will. I clasp my hands together as Toguro makes his selection, and I think only of my brother's life.
Hiei doesn't know...that I know...that I am certain of who he is...
I wish I'd spared my thoughts for Kuwabara now.
I don't want him to die! I don't want his sister to go through what I was afraid to handle! Oh no...no!!
It's all so fast. I...I can't even...I don't even know how he died. One moment Kuwabara is running and screaming, and then...then Kuwabara is standing so weird...his body convulsing and face twisted. There is blood...everywhere. And Toguro just stands there with his hand coated in it. He looks...his stance is so confidant, so sure...and so relax. I almost wish I could see his face to know what he's thinking.
I had thought...that maybe Toguro was kind...when he let me and the other girls escape the demons that had chased us through the halls of the tournament...I had thought perhaps he was kind...What had I been thinking!? Perhaps there was mercy in his heart at that single moment...but how could I ever think he had a shred of decency when he is standing there so blaze, as Kuwabara is dying!
And then he speaks.
So soft I'm sure that his sister who is standing at my side can't hear it. I listen, wanting to hear his last words. Wanting to hold them to me.
"Okay Urameshi..." He coughs choking on his blood. It's ridiculous how much blood has littered the ground, "It's all you, I did what I could. Now beat him for all of us. Make my death count...Yusuke." His last word is strangled. It's a blend of his best friend's name, and "okay." Kuwabara then drops like a stone.
I wait...wait and hope for a sign of life. Kurama's body is shuddering as he holds Kuwabara...and I know. He'd dead. Kazuma is dead. Botan makes a painful sound as if she's been punched, and I can only cover my eyes and weep.
The silence, followed by Shizuru's scream let's me know...that this is all very real.
KEIKO
This isn't happening...
Yusuke and I aren't here.
We're not in this awful place.
It's all a bad dream.
A shudder.
Something new is happening in this awful dream.
Oh.
Kuwabara...is dead?
No.
No.
It's a nightmare.
Wake up Yusuke...wake up and let's go home. Wake up and let's all go home.
SHIZURU
I've had visions of this moment. The moment where I would lose my baby brother. With every breath my brother has taken I've thought...it's only a matter of time. Only a matter of time...before he's gone. I shook these visions off, and ignored them. What was I thinking? I didn't start...truly listening to these...these visions until I met Yusuke. It started to make sense.
Only my brother could befriend a boy that had died, and then come back to life. But there was always something else about Yusuke. Something sleeping in this brown eyed kid that warned me of dangers. I wish now...I had had forbid Kazuma to associate himself with this young teen.
But...it's not as if I could deny my brother a friend...not when this is something he's always wanted. I know my brother's heart better than he knows it...he has always wanted a true best friend. Someone he could really...relate too. My brother is not a normal kid...and Yusuke is definitely abnormal himself...it only makes sense that these two boy s would find each other and their paths would cross, making them inseparable...
But still...Kazuma...I can't help but think you wouldn't be here in this moment if I had done something...said something to stop this budding friendship. If I had even told our neglectful parents of this happening maybe...maybe we wouldn't be here right now. Who am I kidding...those two may have given birth to us, but they're so blind they can't understand why Kuwabara and I are so distant from them. All I've needed since the day my brother came into this world, was the knowledge that he was alive and happy...
God, don't let this monster take that from me now.
I don't blink as Toguro stabs my brother, ripping out my heart as well as my kin's...I've always prided myself on my composure. But it's snapping. The tethers that hold my life together are snapping, and my body is feeling an awful burst of freedom that is making my skin crawl.
My brother hits the ground, and my aura can't find his. I can't feel my brother's power...I can't feel his life!! It's...it's...
"KAZUMA!!!!" I sob reaching out for my brother as tears fly from my face.
And I can't feel him...I can't feel my brother anymore.
KURAMA
It's hard to think that after all this...a dead woman's words is going to decide our fate. For an instant even I felt the twinge of fear coil around my heart. But after a short wait, Toguro was pointing. From his stance, from the certainty in his eyes I knew he had made his decision...he just had to name it.
"How about you Kuwabara?"
Next to me Kuwabara gasps, and his body trembles.
"Urameshi does appear to be the most protective of you. Let's see you bring out his hidden emotions. I'll make this quick."
And as simple as deciding what to eat, he's approaching us...and Yusuke is in a panic. Like a wild animal he is trying to get to us, trying not to let this happen. I can't help but feel his tries are futile. I glance at Kuwabara.
He's so afraid.
...and so am I.
I don't want this to happen. No one does, not even Hiei who snubs Kuwabara at any given moment. We must come up with a plan. We have to save Kuwabara...we have to save each other.
In the coils of my mind, the logical side of my brain, Youko is whispering with confidence, "This is perfect. If the human dies, Yusuke will release that power you and I both know he's hiding. And we'll get to live...and so will all the people in this stadium...and on top of that Sakyo won't get to create a portal between demon world the human realm. Everybody wins. It's only one life compared to millions...let it happen."
And the rest of me, says 'No.'
"If he makes it over here, the three of us must fight him together," This whisper towards Hiei is my retaliation against my "logical" callous side.
Hiei snorts and answers snidely, "With what secret weapon? You've barely been able to stand up since you're flirting with death."
"See...even Hiei knows...what the best choice is," Youko's words tickle my ear...it's a sick dark promise that reminds me of who I was...and who I can still be.
"Yes, you're darkness flame technique hasn't left much of you either. We can run if you want," I bait Hiei then, nicking his pride so that Hiei will give me the answer I want. An answer other than the one my old self is providing me.
"Don't be simple. I'll take Toguro alone if I must," The way his tone sounds...it lets me know he knows of my inner struggle. He also knows the best option is the one laid out in front of us. The death of Kuwabara. But like myself, Hiei just doesn't seem able to be willing to let this happen.
A little relieved that Hiei is on my side in the predicament I shudder at a laugh echoing in my mind. "The human has already made his own decision. You should have been watching him." I take a sharp breath and no longer can I smell Kuwabara's despair or fear.
Shit.
"Ready?" I ask Kurama ready to charge before Kuwabara can make his decision.
"Hmn," Is Hiei's answer...and then....
Kuwabara takes a step, "Stay back guys! I'm the one he wants."
"Just stop and think Kuwabara!" I snap.
"It's no time for your showmanship!" Hiei sounds annoyed at Kuwabara's words, "Face Toguro now and you'll die before this minute is through!" A harsh warning, but a true one.
Kuwabara...only chuckles. And my mind is overtaken by Youko's laugh. It's cruel...and oddly bitter. "What a brave human...remind you of anyone?" Youko's words taper off and the logic inside of me turns off as I recall the death of my friend...my partner Kuronoue. It was probably these sudden memories that made me hesitate...made me not reach out to stop Kuwabara. He was gone before my senses came back to me and then...Toguro's hand was in Kuwabara's chest.
"It was necessary...it...had to be done. It was necessary..." Youko's words are mournful and strangely regretful. I grit my teeth...and then Kuwabara falls and I'm running.
All the logic, and these well laid out plans I let rule my life, cannot provide a justified reason for this sacrifice I've just witnessed.
One life for millions...there's just no comparison...one life just isn't worth it.
HIEI
I feel...an awkward sensation of cold come over me at that small smile on Kuwabara's face. That low soft sound Kuwabara makes from the pit of his stomach...a remorseful chortle and acknowledgement of his upcoming death. What is it with humans and their...sacrifice? How can he be so damn willing to go through with this?
He purposefully avoids my eye, and Kurama's eye, and looks at Koenma. He's scared. He's just a child—of course he's scared!! But he's smiling, and saying, "Hey Koenma? You risked your life on Urameshi's fight and now I'm going to do the same," He holds up his hand, saluting with his two forefingers and thumb, smiling like an idiot. "So make a place for me. And make sure my wake is as good as his," Kuwabara says with a firmness.
Koenma stammers uselessly, and I'm staring at Kuwabara wishing to kill him myself. How can he just decide that this is the answer? Whether or not his life is worth living, he has no right to let Toguro take it from him. A life, even a useless human life, holds at least some importance.
Kuwabara looks out at Yusuke and I notice the softness. The pure affection in his eyes. Friendship has always seemed like a useless luxury...it gets you into trouble...but even I can't deny the affection I have for these three people I've fought this far with. And because of this...forged camaraderie, I just can't believe...Kuwabara is going to go and hand his life over to that son of a bitch.
And for what?!
His moment in the fucking spotlight!?
"There's no stopping him," Kuwabara says this softly, accepting the fate Toguro has extended to him, acknowledging all of out powerlessness against Toguro. "And If I'm going to go now, I'm going to go charging at full speed!" He turns from us and looks outwards at Toguro, laughing at the prospect of death. "A mulberry is a tree. Kuwabara is a man! And I'll prove it! We all have to die when our time comes but if we do our duty we don't got regrets! So taste a little piece of my sword Toguro."
He charges.
…
I don't know why I let him surprise me. This human with a heart of gold. But I'm still surprised. I watch as he charges. I could easily stop him. I am a thousand times faster than Kuwabara...I could easily stop this. But I won't. Kuwabara is a man. He is an honorable, foolish, stupid man...and I'll let him have this death.
He says something to Yusuke just before he goes. I'm sure I could...listen in on this speech for his best friend, but I ignore it...and I just wait. Kuwabara falls and we're all charging. My anger which had been suppressed suddenly flares up at the sight of Toguro's face. He's smiling. I've killed many while smiling at their friends...and now that I was on the opposite end of the spectrum I feel the horrible bite of hate and anger.
I lash out at Toguro, but he sidesteps my swing, and dodges it with ease...I have never in my life felt like a failure until now. While I am worlds behind...this dead child on the ground is worlds ahead. There's nothing left now...but to learn from what I've witnessed, and rely on Yusuke to end this all.
TOGURO
I am annoyed that it has to go this far. That I actually have to go through with killing one of his friends to get what I want.
Kids these days...
My hand is stuck deep in this boys chest and I watch his face, deciding what to do. I only have a few seconds but it feels like years of time to think. To decide. I could kill this boy right now. Add him to my list, and get what I want. I watched team Urameshi's fights carefully...and all I can see is that Yusuke can not just be a human.
Yusuke is...beyond what I could ever reach as a human. His friends are rapidly changing too...and it's obvious that Yusuke and Kuwabara hold a strong bond. Stronger than brothers, hell probably even stronger than lovers. The feelings that fighters can have for each other, I believe those are the strongest emotions in the world.
A grunt and I let my eyes focus more on Kuwabara's eyes. Time must feel slow for him too with my fingers worming their way into his chest.
Kuwabara...is remarkably strong for a human...his power could surpass Genkai's if he undergoes some training. With my fingers deep in his chest I can feel his aura flood in my skin. His aura is...awakening. While his friends are getting stronger with each fight, his powers are actually weakening...trying to prepare for something else.
I have heard of this boy's psychic abilities...so surely there is something after me that his body is getting ready for. It's hard to believe that there is someone else out there...stronger and more dangerous than I. It makes me feel this weird sense of jealousy.
I push my hand deeper into the injury. Knuckle deep. My fingers are around his heart, but not touching. I could crush this heart right now...I could get what I want as easy as blinking. Just grab, and pull...and Kuwabara's heart would be mine. A bleeding apple withing my palm...
But...I can't allow myself to take that monstrous step. I have done the most horrible acts in all of demon world and human world alike, but I can't bring myself to pull out Kuwabara's heart. I remove my hand fully aware that though I didn't get his heart, or a lung...that the massive size of the injury could still kill this human boy.
He chokes as a carnation of blood blooms from his chest, bending nearly in half. He smiles, a hand coming to his chest. His face looks out at Yusuke, and I stand there with my hand out stained with the human's blood.
"Okat Urameshi..." Kuwabara whispers, "It's all you, I did what I could. Now beat him for all of us. Make my death count...Yusuke." Kuwabara's words are garbled, and his eyes turn dull, like a glob of acrylic paint. Void of life, or even a will to try. He's on the ground and I step away from his husk.
I feel something from Kuwabara...I don't think I killed him.
But I don't really care at the moment...because I think Yusuke will finally give me what I've been waiting for.
YUSUKE
"That's anticlimactic. You knew him for so long and now he's dead. Do you think that was sufficient for you? Or do I need to take another one of your friends for you to get the point?"
Those words solidified the reality that I was trying to escape.
Something has woken up in my body. Something that rattled around in a cage has come to life like a great beast, and is howling with rage and loss.
I can't believe I lost him. I can't believe...that...Kuwabara is dead. Why? Why did I let this happen? Why was he so damn strong? Why couldn't I defeat Toguro? I finally find something that matters to me...these friends I've made, and now...now...
All I had...all I had, all I ever fucking wanted is gone!!
It's like I'm kneeling on the broken pieces of glass that was once my life. All these pieces show a group of four guys standing side by side, fighting. Ready. Laughing. Charging. Roaring. We're a team.
Kuwabara's face is looking out at me through a shard of glass, and now it's pale and there's blood. And Toguro's frame is blocking out all the light...Kuwabara has died. And with his death, this happy life that I've finally been able to get adjusted to, that I've finally found is gone.
"I've been pathetic...but I won't let you take away any more of my friends..." Those are the words out of my mouth as I stand up. As the walls that made me keep my distance, made me hide my feelings from everyone come crashing down my mind is flooded with Kuwabara. I hadn't realized...that Kuwabara was my best friend.
I just...I didn't get that Kuwabara had become so damn important in my life. With Kuwabara in my life...with him there. It was like breathing...as easy and as necessary as breathing. And Kuwabara is dead...
And I just can't breathe anymore.
KUWABARA
I...am alive.
End
So...I hope you enjoyed this. Reviews would be appreciated since I was testing out a different writing style. I admit that some were really hard to write. Like Yukina. I never felt like I could grasp her personality from the series. Keiko, was also really hard to write too since she was in shock when Kuwabara was "killed." I don't think she even really knew what happened to Kuwabara because she was having a meltdown, but I included her anyways. So I hope you liked this!!