Headnotes: Oooookay, so this idea was originally formatted as a GMV, which is silly of me because I can't do those. Then I actually started penning it as a comic, but I got too lazy to draw that. A few years later, I decide to try the idea on as a fic. No, despite all the media transfer it's gone through, it's not as crappy as you'd think. I store my ideas in pure idea form, baby! (Well okay, it may still be as crappy as you'd think, but that's not because of the media transfer, that's 'cuz I can't actually write.)
Warning: This isn't really a songfic, but as the title suggests, it is heavily centered and referenced from and to a song, which is You're Beautiful by James Blunt. I did NOT put the lyrics in the fic (I actually really hate having to read that, it's so awkward _ ) but I did weave them into the storytelling. Don't think too hard about it and it shouldn't bother you too much.
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is © by Square Enix and Disney Interactive. The song this is based from is done by the artist mentioned above. I'm not making money off this work. Heck, I'm barely making pageviews off this work. So don't sue me.
You're Beautiful
When I was younger, living on the islands, I thought we had reached the very best that our world could offer. The epitome of paradise, everyone's dream.
We practically lived in the beaches, paddling our small boats out to the small isles filled with trees that grew paopu fruit in wealthy abundance in about ten to fifteen minutes tops. Me along with my best friend, Sora, and our buddies Tidus Wakka and Selphie. The five of us made the isles into our secret hangout, our getaway, and we spent every afternoon living an almost Neverland-like fantasy; full of friendly sparring, adventure quests, wishes coming true. . .
Our lives shone as brilliantly as the shining sun that was always above our heads.
The best thing, I'd have to say, was Sora. I would say he was everything I could ever want in my life to be happy. He was the best spar partner, the perfect catalystic competitor to push me to succeed. . . And I'd like to think I elicited the same reactions for him, judging from the way he always challenged me to random things and works so hard to try defeating me. He understood me, knew what to say to brighten my day, could lift me into the sky of his fantasies and beliefs when I was too hard-rooted to the ground of reality to believe in those fantasies by myself.
I thought my happiness could never end; I thought we would be the eternal pair, running around the isles of Destiny Island all our lives swordfighting and playing tag and fishing with our hands and ganging up on the other three for pretty stones and. . . and. . . .
But one day, a little angel washed up on shore when we were having one of our duels, and that expansive eternity compressed into a suffocating density of disappointed dreams.
We dropped our swords immediately, and Sora had rushed to her side to see what was wrong. When I saw him brushing strands of red hair out of her face, I felt a bitterness twist in my gut and bleed, slowly, throughout my body. Sora gently propped her up, and as he did so she opened her lovely eyes to reveal a divine intensity that seemed to draw him in at once. . .
Then she smiled, and watching Sora's face at that was like seeing him leave me forever right then and there.
I'm being too condescending; Kairi is a wonderful girl, and as the years past she became a best friend to me, too. The three of us, then, were an inseparable trio, and because Kairi was tough like a boy, we could still do the things we liked right in front of her and she wouldn't care. She never joined us, but Sora and I both agreed it was on her terms that she didn't; she was tough enough to beat either of us down, and we fought each spar in fear she would reveal a sudden superpower that would decimate us immediately.
My least favourite part about her was the fact she was a third person; with her around, the isles were a crowded place. This was an especially bad problem when she and Sora turned thirteen, and the three of us were officially teenagers; that was the time when she and I realized we were selfishly after the same person.
From then on, I dreamed my dreams on stained-glass platforms in an endless abyss of darkness, and every week the platform shrank until I couldn't see it at all. And then I had a plan.
.
At my descent into darkness, I surveyed the worlds with my eyes but could do nothing but feel horrified as my body worked its hardest to destroy my dearest friends.
I drowned myself in self-hatred and regret, thinking over every single thing I had done that I should have known would be wrong. The desire for power, letting my competitive aggression get the better of me; mixing bitterness with jealousy and loneliness, with my deliriums of being betrayed by people who actually cared about me and with my impressions of imprisonment. . .
The Destiny Islands that had been my dream-come-true life was in no way a prison, I see now. Being able to do whatever I pleased with my two best friends every day was not a prison. This is the prison. This shameful, cowardly existence, asking other people for strength in order to bring down someone I. . . someone I. . . to give myself up for such a petty joke, such an old sore, and then lose my ability to control my own life. . . This is the prison. How could I have ever been so devastatingly wrong?
I stared down at him now, my throat roaring a diabolical chuckle that wasn't mine. I was screaming, crying, wailing inside as I watched Sora's body dissolve into prickles of light and two crystaline hearts.
I saw one of those hearts return to Kairi, saw her rush to her feet and grab futiley for Sora's disappearing form. I could never compare to her. She had only just been woken from her coma, and right away she knew what to do -- do her best to help Sora, whatever way she can, no matter how hopeless.
Why couldn't I have been like that? Why?
Why?
Why. . . . ?
For a moment, her eyes met mine. We looked at each other, stared into each other's eyes. In a moment, she seemed to understand, her eyes widening but not angering. Then my arm raised and called forth a handful of Shadows for her, and she vanished with Sora's strange new animal friends.
At that horrible moment, I wasn't sure I would ever see Sora or Kairi ever again.
.
I finally saw him as myself, and had the chance to speak to him face-to-face, free of manipulating influences and in full control of myself. He was pushing the door of Kingdom Hearts closed with all his might, to stop the Heartless from leaking. . . he was always a selfless, heroic person like that.
The decision I made was a hard decision, but it was very easy to make. I had no doubts that it would be the best thing for me to do. The Heartless pressed in around me, staying back only by the light of His Majesty's keyblade; at all costs, I must make sure they could not reach Sora.
Hey, I still owe him one rescue for losing to Kairi, don't I?
He looked sad to see me on this side of the door, but I convinced him not to worry about me. I had done my damage; I had wronged myself far enough. If locking myself into Kingdom Hearts would redeem me from my crimes, I would do it again and again.
. . . . And, since I still couldn't bring myself to let go of Sora on my own. . . I could bring myself out of the picture. Sora and Kairi deserved a happy life together.
He pushed, I pulled. Then the door closed and the last sliver of his radiance was gone.
.
Basements. Basements. Ascending. Climbing. Basements. Rising. . .
What am I doing? Am I rising from the ground? How. . . no matter. I need to find him. . .
I need to find him. . .
Doors. I slammed a card onto it and shoved it open as soon as it allowed me. I examined the sterile, white room. . . mismatched from the rest of the orange floor. . . A huge, artificial flower in the middle of the room. . .
There he was. Just floating there, like he didn't have a care in the world. . . There he was.
Sora, I don't know if I ever told you. . . at that point, standing in the most vertically-built building I had ever been in, I spoke with an angel.
She moved almost with an unearthly grace. . . like her, you know? Wearing all white, her neat blonde hair paler in the washed out white of the room. She held up the notepad in her hands and put a blue pastel to it, and she smiled at me.
There was an angel, Sora, with a smile on her face. . . and she thought up this idea, that I should be with you.
That I should be with you.
I thought it over looking at those eyelashes on those rounded cheeks, and knew what I wanted and what I needed. Just like when we were behind the door, Sora, remember?
I told her I could never do it. No.
Then I went on my way.
Sora blinked as his best friend rested back on his elbows in the sand. The pale face jerked toward the sky as its head fell back in exhaustion and resignation, strands of silver hair flowing over closed eyes and worried brows. The brows he could barely see, but they were there. Sora kept snapping his gaze from the ocean to that worried expression, jumping back and forth between the two like the pendulum of a grandfather clock. There seemed to be a pressure settling in the air for him to say something. . .
"That girl. . . was Kairi?" he decided on.
That summoned a smile, though the brows remained worried. "Kairi. . . yeah. I guess you could say that."
Sora made his trademark pout in his lips as he frowned in confusion. It was true that the past year of his life was not so much a blur as it was simply an empty space of nothingness. . . but he could not imagine how Kairi could manage to temporarily leave Destiny Islands and then return.
Riku kept looking more worried as the minutes dragged by, though, and looking over to him again Sora realized that he was likely waiting for another reaction. He didn't really have one to give. "What is it?" he asked.
His eyes opened, blinking up at the dark sky in mild disbelief, and Riku sat up, twisting his body to face Sora's. They stared at each other for a while longer -- who knew how time passed in this world? -- before Riku thought of something to say. ". . . Don't you see? I'm. . ."
Sora raised an eyebrow, and Riku couldn't look any longer. He stared over the horizon of the ocean, instead.
He looked back when he felt a gloved hand cover one of his. Shivering in excitement and nervousness from the contact, he worked to remain calm as Sora started laughing his joking, companionship laugh.
"Hey Riku, you know, one part of your story. . . I can relate to."
Surprised blink. "Really?"
Sora laughed more, and sandwiched Riku's hand in between both of his, patting the back affectionately. "Yeah. . . you know, a while ago, I ran into an angel, too. And a mysterious old enemy. . . And you know what?"
Riku allowed Sora to lay their hands on the sand and watched him close his eyes, as though he were concentrating. "That angel had an idea, too. That I should be with you."
First, Riku was too stunned about this interpretation to speak. Then he was too amused to speak. As Riku started chuckling warmly, Sora drew a line in the sand from their joined hands, creating a three-way formation.
While they enjoyed the small thrill of fulfilled hope, one of them voiced it out loud: "It's a real shame that she's not here."
Tailnotes: Uuuhhhhmmmm. Riiight then. xD This is the part where you SHOULD scramble to your iPods or YouTube and listen to the song in question to match meanings, but I know you won't do that. I hope it wasn't too difficult to understand!! (I get the feeling I wrote it badly, so I might have mixed it up somewhere. D: ) Please let me know what you think, I loooove feedback! :D