Edward and Bella were once best friends. When a tragedy tears them apart, they lose themselves in the process. What do you say to the person whose love you killed?

Edward=23 years old

Bella=17 years old

B-POV

I, Isabella Swan could not move. Taking a step is easy especially when you've been walking for about sixteen years so why couldn't I? It's because of the man that sat at the front of the classroom, the man id know anywhere, whose girlfriend I killed, Edward Cullen.

It's been 5 years.

"Edward, who's coming over?" Edward was my best friend. He was tall with green eyes and unruly bronze hair. He had a lean body, very muscular but not huge like his brother Emmet, who you could already tell at age 14 was going to be a monster. Edward was also 6 years older than me. His family moved in next door about 6 months before and we had been inseparable ever since. But lately he hadn't been hanging out with me as much and I was worried.

"Someone very special my Bella." I giggled at the nickname just as the doorbell rang. Edward got up to answer it and came back with the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen (apart from Alice, Edwards sister, who was my age but beautiful already). She had strawberry blond hair, bright blue eyes and the best tan you could get in a town like Forks, Washington.. She was skinny with curves in all right places (I'm assuming). "Bella this is Tanya, my girlfriend." Edward looked nervous I new why. Edward cared very much about my opinion and was scared I wouldn't like her. For a 12 year old I was pretty mature. I smiled, got up and shook her hand. So this was where Edward was all the time. He looked very happy with her so I automatically approved. The next few weeks were awesome. Tanya and I became great friends and hung out almost as often as Edward and I did.

One day while Edward and I were playing twister at my house, he got distracted. "Edward, look!" I wanted to show off my balance since I was the most clumsy girl on the planet. I turned my head to look at him, saw his upset expression and fell, losing my focus. Worried, I went over to him on the couch. "Whats wrong Ed-bed?" I knew his nickname was stupid and so did he, I made it up on the spot one time when I was complaining that he didn't have a nickname. I only used it to be silly. Although it suits him I suppose. He is very comfortable to lay on. He blinked and smiled a little.

"Nothing my Bella." I did not believe him but let it go. Later that night while he was in the kitchen, I heard him talking on the phone as I was standing by the door. "I don't know what to do. She wont take the hint. I don't like her anymore!" Was he talking about Tanya? "No, what I felt for her was lust, nothing more. I realize that now." Lust? When I got the birds and the bees talk from mom and dad, she said that lust was what you felt when you wanted to have sex with. Love is not lust, mom emphasized. Edward only wanted to have sex with Tanya? The thought made me blush. I shouldn't have been listening. "Things have changed and I need to tell her. It's the only thing to do." Edward said at last as he hung up the phone. I scurried back to the living room (amazingly not falling) before he could catch me. I was sad that Edward only wanted Tanya because he wanted her. I liked Tanya.

The next day Tanya was over braiding my hair. "Whats wrong Bella?" she asked squatting down in front of me. Obviously she noticed my sore mood.

"I don't think I should tell you." I said nervously. It was after all Edwards business not mine.

"You can tell me anything sweetie." She said rubbing my arm. Well, she was my friend too. Didn't she have a right to know?

"Ummm, ok I guess." I sat there for a second before blurting out, "Edward doesn't like you anymore."

"Why would you say that?" she said quietly, too quietly.

"I heard him telling someone on the phone last night." I was speaking even more quietly than she.

"Okay." And that was all she said. I knew immediately that I had made a mistake.

"I'm so so so so so so sorry Tanya." I grabbed her hand and felt tears burn my eyes.

She looked gone, blank. "Bella, I have to go." She hadn't even heard me. She left and I felt horrible. I started crying when I heard a buzzing sound. It sounded on and of for about 20 minutes before it stopped. Before dinner Edward came over.

"Hey, Bella, I left my phone hear last night." He began searching the living room. I had decided to tell Edward what I had told Tanya almost as soon as she left. I knew I was wrong to do anything and even worse to keep it from him.

"Edward I have something to tell you." I said in the most serious voice I could muster.

He looked up from the floor where he was searching. He knew when I needed for him to listen to me. "What is it?"

"Ummm, ." I said really fast but Edward of course caught it.

"What did you tell her?" He was standing now, looking oh so intimidating.

"I told her you didn't like her anymore." I sounded like a effing mouse. He looked shocked.

"Why would you tell her something like that? I love Tanya." Oh, I didn't know that.

I was baffled. "What? Then who were you talking about?"

Edward thought for a moment before sighing "Bella, I was talking about a girl at school. I thought I liked her but when I met Tanya, I realized I didn't. She keeps flirting with me and I wanted her to stop." Uh oh.

"I am so sorry Edward. I had no idea. I'm so stupid!" I felt like smashing my face against the wall.

Edward ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Its ok Bella. It was a mistake but now you know not to eavesdrop or mess with other peoples business right?" I nodded furiously. Id do anything to make this right.

The buzzing from earlier started again. Edward turned his attention to the couch. He pulled his cell phone out from one of the creases. Oh the sound was his phone, I thought stupidly. He was staring at the screen with wide eyes. Edward put the phone to his ear and started pacing around the room. He stopped suddenly and put his face into his hands. "No Tanya, please no." I could barely make it out. Apparently he got Tanyas voice message after that because he started yelling. "Tanya! Tanya its me! Pick up! What Bella sais isn't true! I love you!" He continued yelling out the door. I was so worried but he drove off before I could help.

When my mom got home an hour later I asked her to drive me to the Cullen because they were actually a ways away from us. Everyone is a neighbor in Forks. When we got there, the door was open and my dads cop car was there. I got out quickly thinking that one of them was hurt but Esme, his mother, stopped me before I could find Edward. "Bella honey. It might not be a good time right now. He is very upset." She had tear streaks down her face.

"Whats going on?" I was frantic.

There's been an accident." but I wasn't listening to her anymore as I could hear plain as day from my father who was talking to a reporter what had happened.

"A Miss. Tanya Denali was found dead in her home. The evidence makes it clear it was a suicide. Death by overdose of sleeping pills. We found the bottle in her hand." I couldn't think. Tanya. Dead. I ran into the living room to see how Edward was. I knew he was going to be crushed. He was sitting on the couch with a hard expression, obviously not paying attention to the cop that was trying to console him. I sat down carefully and put my hand on his. He jerked it away.

"Its your fault." He whispered venomously

"What?" He was making me a little scared.

He turned his head toward me. His eyes burned a hole through me. The saying, if looks could kill, popped into my head. "Its your fault!" He said louder. He stooped over me, trapping me on the couch. "You killed her! If you hadn't kept your stupid mouth shut, everything would be fine! You killed her! Its your fault! I hate you! You're a murderer!" His voice was fading as the cop had hauled him off me and was taking him somewhere.

I was curled up on the couch and I was crying. Not sobbing, just an endless flow of tears down my face. Hes right. Its my fault. I'm a murderer. I might as well have dumped the bottle down her throat myself. I killed Tanya. And that is how I lost my best friend. The Cullens moved away a week later. Alice and Emmet both tried to come and tell me it wasn't my fault but I knew it was.

Present.

Since that day I have not been the same. I'm not a happy person. I smile a smile so fake it hurts. I have permanent bags under my eyes from sleepless nights and I feel as if there is a hole inside of me, a gaping wound that wont close (N/A, sound familiar?). Edward left it in his place and it wont even attempt to heal.

So here I stood with me closest friend, Angela. She shook me and pulled me to my seat, in the front of the class unfortunately. He looked as beautiful as ever. His sculpting was more defined than he it was 5 years ago but he looked basically the same. He looked up from the computer and I kept my head down. I didn't have a right to look at him. The strangest thing was that I could feel the wound closing a bit at his presence, attempting to heal now that it had its medicine. It was the worst kind of torture.

"Alright class, settle down. I am Mr. Cullen and I will be your teacher until further notice so raise your hand when I call your name so I can start putting names to faces." His voice was as soft as silk and a lot nicer than the last time I had heard it. I winced at the memory. As he went down the roll call alphabetically my heart pounded faster every second. "Michael Newton?" Oh god. "Thomas Ohera?" Shit! "Jessica Stanley?" Help me! "Isa-Isabella? Swan?" He sounded so shocked I wanted to disappear into my chair. I looked up barely to see him searching the room for my face.

I tentatively raised my hand and said "Here." His eyes shot to my face.