Tuesday, about the time people go dumpster diving,
Bella and Edward were doing stuff, when Aro walked in with the Volturi Guard and Edward screamed like a girl and Bella wet her pants because Edward was screaming. She looked at them and said "do you want to have a tea party?", and bounced out of the room, like Alice, magically wearing a purple Viking helmet and red Speedo also carrying an orange banjo. Edward looked at them weird as they turned out the lights with a devious expression. He yelled "RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!" and the lights turned on. Since Edward and Bella were doing it he had no pants on. THEN for some odd reason ARO had no pants! Alec turned out the lights and Aro fell on Edward, magically taking his virginity by sticking his thing up Edward's ass. The light turned on and Bella saw the disturbing sight. She cried like a little baby and ran back to Jacob. Jacob had imprinted on Renesmee so he was kinda freaked out. Then she cried all the way to Nantucket. She high jacked Harry Potter's magical flying motorcycle and flew back to Forks. Edward was willing to do it with Aro now so she called him a skank and flew into the waiting arms of Jasper, who just wanted to bite her. (You can bite a vampire and drink their blood it's in Vampire Diaries and if you don't like it suck Demitri's thing)