Title: Sacrificed Happiness
Author: bubbles799 (Emma)
Show: Packed to the Rafters
Characters: Jake centred, with heavy Rachel and Alex
Summary: Her happiness was what mattered here.
Disclaimer: Hmm, still waiting for PTTR's in the mailbox.
Just something that came to me whilst watching tonight's episode. How heartbreaking was this whole ordeal?
My brain had barely registered what had just happened. After a seizure, they say you can feel drowsy, tired and sleepy after a seizure. My head felt clouded.
The weight of Alex holding me down registered. But it wasn't my foremost thought. That was something else entirely.
It wasn't even the fact that this seizure made a lot of my future uncertain. I'd been told that a third seizure meant it was epilepsy. Epilepsy. It was liveable. But it was still life-changing, especially if you have grown up without it.
But no, there was one thing that hammered in my clouded mind. The one thing I was sure of.
I knew that Rachel couldn't know. She was on a high after her work success and I couldn't bring her down. If Rachel knew, it would affect her decisions in regards to her career. I couldn't do that. She had worked so hard and this was her dream. I couldn't hold her back. I wouldn't.
So the one thing to do? Tell Alex.
"Don't tell Rachel."
/
'Well then why didn't you go to the doctor today? Oh, because you weren't training, were you? You were worried that he's going to give you a hard time.'
'No... Because that was my third fit.'
Even the next day, I knew that it wasn't the time to tell Rachel. If I was honest, I had no idea when would be a good time. But I was certain that today wasn't that time.
The looks on Alex's face though. He didn't get it. But whose fault was that? He couldn't know if I hadn't told him.
'Wh... No.'
'That was my third mate. When you first got to New Zealand, then there was another one. And now this one .That's three.
'So that's it? It's epilepsy?'
'That's what the doctor's going to tell me, yeah.'
/
'He's just sticking his nose in my business.'
'Right, so watching you have a fit is none of my business?'
It wasn't the way I intended Rachel to find out. About the third fit I mean. But in a way, it was a relief that Alex had spilled the beans. I knew Rachel wouldn't be happy, especially when Alex emphasized that it happened yesterday morning. But it felt good to have it out. The guilt had been eating at me at keeping something so big from her, especially when she had gone on about being the 'perfect boyfriend' earlier that night. But the reason I did it?
For her happiness. I sacrificed my feelings for her happiness. And the feelings I'd been feeling? That didn't matter if it was for Rachel. She deserved that much.
Short. Extremely short. But it came to me and I just opened a Word document and my fingers ran away. What can I say?