Not What I Wanted...What I Needed
by Kiley S. Snape
"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
I did not know who was responsible for the phrase, but its truth ran deep and painful. The keen ache struck me in ceaseless, repetitive beats- what hurt the most was the ever present image of my father's lifeless body falling to the floor...whilst I was helpless- only able to watch the scene as if it were a play performed dispassionately. I could hear Tenzin arguing with the woman, despite the two of them being nowhere near my person. Tenzin had taken me under his wing when Avatar Korra brought me to Air Temple Island after I had crashed into her during my escape from the Equalists. For weeks, he and his family had seen to my care- but with the threat from Amon and his Equalists growing vaster each day, Tenzin had enough to worry about.
"I fail to see how this girl has to be under my protection."
"Lin, she just lost her father- everything she knows- to Amon. She bore witness to his brutal execution. I need to try and find out why her family was even targeted by Amon in the first place," Tenzin explained.
His response was met with silence for a time, and I would have thought the woman had left had I not known better. My gratitude for Tenzin's compassion to see to my care- that he would go to such troublesome lengths for one that was not even his own kin- grew to yet another intangible height.
"Very well," the woman, Lin, huffed in acquiescence.
I felt the vibrations of the earth from their footfalls, and so I rose from my seat beneath the blossom tree. I brushed my thick mess of bangs out of my eyes, and folded my arms defensively across my chest.
"Kailyn, this is Chief of Police- Lin Beifong...Lin, this is Kailyn Hsiao," Tenzin introduced.
Almond shaped orbs of jade locked onto me, and I readily returned the favour. Lin Beifong had a svelte figure, one many would be jealous of; however, her cold, detached demeanour drew people's attentions away from any striking beauty about her. I flicked my hair over my shoulder, and then bowed in greeting. "Pleasure," I murmured.
The stern Chief of Police dipped her head in reply; the shadows cast from the light of the room behind her were harsh against the two scars on the curve of the right side of her jaw. "Come along," she ordered curtly.
Wordlessly, I embraced Tenzin in farewell and then fell into step with her. We did not speak on the ferry ride back to the city, or when she drove us to her home. Her penthouse was as spartan as I had predicted. An inviting, practical sofa occupied the centre of the room, and unsentimental painting sparsely adorned the walls.
"The guest room is this way."
I jerked in surprise at the sound of her voice, but I swiftly recovered and nodded my head. The bedroom she led me into was directly across the hall from her own, an anomalous comfort. My father had sung praises about what a powerful bender the legendary Lin Beifong was; the recollection caused my eyes to burn. I hesitantly made my way to the bed, set my small bag filled with the pitiful remains of my life, and then slowly sat on the edge of the bed.
"Hungry?"
I mutely shook my head as I stared listlessly at the vacant wall. How could I be hungry when this consuming grief gnawed on my entirety? Seismic sense told me Chief Beifong remained in the doorway, no doubt staring at my painfully straight back. The door slid shut loudly and Chief Beifong walked down the hallway; when I knew I would not be heard, I fell forward onto the bed as my vision blurred with fresh tears.
It is a tragically faint sound, the sound of your heart breaking. It is only the gut wrenching sobs that make the sensation a loud one...despite being of great consequence.
The following morning at dawn, I awoke to the muffled thuds of fists pounding on a punching bag. I stumbled out of the bedroom on tired feet, but managed to make it to the kitchen without too many collisions. At first, I was confused at the stark contrast from Pema's kitchen, but then I remembered I was no longer on Air Temple Island. I filled the kettle with water, and then took a seat at the small table while I waited for the water to boil.
The sounds of metal hitting against the wood floors signalled Chief Beifong's approach. She stopped briefly- as if surprised at my presence in her home. "How did you sleep?" Her cool tone almost caused me to flinch.
"Well enough," I answered faintly.
"That's not much of an answer," she snorted.
"I didn't intend for it to be one," I mumbled, and rubbed my eyes that burned with fatigue. I smoothly rose to my feet when the kettle whistled shrilly, and then poured a cup for Chief Beifong and me. Mutely, I then set the cup on the table across from me for the stern Chief of Police before I returned to the chair I had been sitting on.
"Are you a bender?" Despite the forced, casual nature of the question, Chief Beifong somehow managed to make it sound like an interrogation.
I nodded my head in ascertation, and left the conversation die off in silence. The cup trembled in my clammy hands, which caused me to grimace at the blatant display of weakness.
"Would you prefer to remain here, or come with me to the Council's courtroom?"
"I will come with you," I replied softly.
Chief Beifong took in my appearance with a quirked, skeptical brow. I glanced down then shrugged my shoulder when I saw it wasn't anything out of the norm for me. Cargo breeches, a loose-fitting tunic, and no shoes...maybe it was the lack of shoes. I trudged into the bedroom and dug through my satchel until I found a pair of worn canvas shoes. When I returned, Chief Beifong nodded briskly then walked out.