For a year my mourning continued. The love of my life, gone. Every night I read his letter that he sent to Peter van Houten. My parents have tried but I just don't think they understand, I mean to have your only real love to die from cancer, knowing that you are never going to share another beautiful moment together sucks. I just wish he were still here. It was early morning when I woke, about 8 am. I unhooked myself from the BiPAP and grabbed my laptop. I was so lost and I didn't know what to do so I decided to email Isaac, see how he was doing. I hadn't seen him in about 2 months and he was STILL getting to grips with being blind.

Hi Isaac

Just wondering how you are getting on. Maybe we could meet up soon and catch up. Sorry, I feel so alone since Gus died and I think I need some company how about Friday in the mall?

Hopefully see you then

Hazel

Suddenly mom burst through the door and said "come on, today we are celebrating" oh no, not another made up holiday

"What now?" I asked through gritted teeth

""international happiness day"

"What? I'm sure you have started making these up"

"No, no it's real, I searched it"

"Whatever, I'm trying to sleep" (obvious lie as I was not connected to the BiPAP and I had the tubes in my nostrils, once again numbing my nose) "just please leave me alone"

"Depressed, once again, you need to go back to support group before they think your dead and add you onto the list of dead people"

"Sorry "she continued "I know this past year has been hard for you I just think that you need to get out more like you did with Gus"

"Actually I'm going out today with Isaac so sorry I can't celebrate" I said looking at the email he just sent me saying:

Hi Hazel

I know, it's been tough for us all, I can't make it Friday (doctor's appointment) but I can do today if that's ok?

Email back and let me know

Isaac

p.s. apart from replying please never email me at 8 am again, it makes a terrible noise

"Okay then" mom continued "we will celebrate without you" she turned out and closed the door behind her quietly. Sometimes I feel really sorry for her because it must be hard for her to have a seventeen year old dyeing form cancer. She tries her hardest, but sadly that isn't enough. I quickly replied to Isaac

Hi, again

Sorry it won't happen again see you in the food court about 9:30

Hazel

Two minutes later he replied

Ok see you then

Isaac

I got ready and set out to the mall. When I got there Isaac was already there, I presume his mom had just left. I sat down on the chair opposite him and we started talking

"hi" I said "how are you" I asked tucking my tank under the chair

"Good, well if you count being blind and reduced to sitting at home playing blind guy video games over and over all day as good then I guess I am excellent "

"Well could be worse, you could be paralyzed and be playing no video games, just sat there all day"

"Yeah, I guess. So how are you?"

"Ok, ish well as ok as I can be"

A young boy came up to me and stared for a while. I felt uncomfortable with him staring at the back of my head. I mean it's not very existing; it's a back of head just like everyone else's.

"Excuse me, can I help you" I ask getting very annoyed at his presence"

"Sorry I just wanted to know why you wear that" he said pointing to the tube

"It's so I can breathe, I can't otherwise"

"Could I have a go please?"

"erm… ok but I need it back in one second"

I took it out of my nose, gave it a wipe and handed it to the little boy. He must have only been 5 or 6 so I didn't mind much. After a minute or two I started to get that pain again in my head and I could not breathe at all. I looked all around for him but he must have gone whilst I was explaining to Isaac what was going on. That stupid little boy had disappeared with my cannula and had somehow disconnected it from the tank. I screamed as loud as I could and told Isaac what was happening. He phoned an ambulance immediately and I could see his mouth moving, saying something. But I could not hear him. That was the last thing I saw before BLACK.