Different Perspectives
A/N: Watched A Single Pale Rose and I can only say "what the shit?!" Seriously, biggest plot twist so far on Steven Universe. And in hindsight, so obvious if you look at the facts: Rose's sword was never meant to shatter gems, when Pearl was acting out her conversation about staying on earth, she making all those faces whenever the topic came up. I just so awestruck. So, after some time to process everything, I wrote this. Enjoy!
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Steven was running and he didn't know why. Things were flying past him now: houses, the beach, the pool. He was pasting them at an alarming rate, and he didn't show any signs of stopping.
He wasn't sure he wanted to stop.
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The Diamonds were created first, as I'm sure you've guessed. No one knows if they grew from the ground or if their gemstones were created out of nothing, but the fact remains that they were the first to be created. First there was White Diamond, the biggest of them all and proclaimed leader of the rest. Yellow and Blue Diamond were next, both the same in stature and status. And then there was Pink Diamond. The smallest and also the most free-spirited.
Needless to say, she was different from her sisters.
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As he pasted people, Steven could see their shocked faces, either because of the fast thing hurtling past them or because they managed to recognize him somehow through the blur. Maybe it was his pink shirt.
...
She was a lot of things, Pink Diamond. I won't say she didn't act the way the others did as they created and ruled over more followers, but after a while, you could tell how much she didn't fit in with the rest.
While the rest were cold, calculating and obsessed with spreading their influence to everyone of their subjects, she was bubbly, curious and so excited about the world around her. While the other Diamonds formed colonies and invaded planets, Pink would meet other creatures and enjoy the nature around her. She was distant and commanding over her subjects when she needed to be, but more often than not, she treated those below her as if they were her friends.
Perhaps that's why everyone loved her, even if her sisters had never approved of the way she did things.
...
He could distinctly hear voices, hear the muffled version of his name being called out multiple times by an assortment of voices, one in particular deep and panicked. His dad, perhaps? And... Peridot and Amethyst too?
Were they chasing him? Right behind him?
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When I became her Pearl, I noticed immediately that she was different from my other masters. For one thing, she would smile and wink at me, insisting I only bow when we're in public or company. She didn't look down on me, even though I was just a Pearl. She encouraged me to voice my opinions, and to never think of myself as an object.
After all, I was a gem just like her. So why should my feelings matter less because of my gemstone? It was one of the first things she said to me, and I never forget.
But I also noticed she was sad and desperate for her sisters' approval. She had always been the outcast, always felt like she didn't matter as much because she wasn't as tall or as harsh or less cheerful. She wanted to prove herself, wanted to successfully invade a world. Even though her instincts told her it was wrong, she ignored them.
She wasn't right to do that, but try to understand, Steven. She just wanted so badly to belong. She wanted so badly to be loved by her family.
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He was passing the Lighthouse now. Ronaldo was up there, watching him with his jaw on the floor.
Oh. He probably had never seen him go so fast before. Never imagined he could.
Then again, neither had Steven. Guess grief can fuel you as much as adrenaline.
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After begging for so long, the Diamonds finally threw her a bone. They gave her a planet they had recently discovered that was green and blue and only had one moon. Earth.
You should have heard her, so excited to be able to prove herself, to finally have the only thing she had ever truly wanted. Her sisters love and respect. To finally be seen as significant.
I know it must sound selfish, being willing to destroy a planet to gain respect, but she had been so desperate. Nothing else she had tried had ever worked, so this was her last resort.
We went to earth expecting to conquer it as quickly as possible. I don't think anyone, especially Pink Diamond herself, expected her to love it so much.
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He was now passing Onion's house. If he squinted, he could just see one or two paintings of Amethyst as he sped by.
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And she did love it. The animals, the way the seasons would change. The humans she discovered ambling around. For the first month, she had made her soldiers and tried to do what she was supposed to do. But it wasn't long before she realized she couldn't even imagine hurting the planet or the people in it by killing it like the other Diamonds had done so many times over.
She tried to hint it to the Diamonds, but they would always answer coldly, always reminding her of her purpose, what a Diamond is meant to be. And that stab of longing for an approval she always wanted would always act up then.
Until one day, when it didn't.
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He was in the forest now and starting to gradually slow down. He didn't know why, considering he had been on the move seconds ago. Perhaps it was because no on was chasing him now. Maybe they sensed he wanted to be alone, to just take a moment to not think about everything he had just found out.
To just not be angry and sad and empty.
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She created "Rose Quartz", the rebel creation of Pink Diamond because she wanted so badly to fight back for the earth. She couldn't do it as Pink Diamond, the other Diamonds would have just taken over, convinced she was acting irrational and undignified.
But as Rose, she could. Rose was just another soldier. She was someone who could fight back, who could do what Pink couldn't. And she did.
I wish I could tell you all the things she did, the good things she did under this ruse, but I can't talk about that too much. Please understand, she gave a separate order to never speak of her secret or what she did when she wasn't Pink. It was a precaution, should the Diamonds suspect I was behind everything.
She wanted to protect me too. Or maybe that's what I always told myself to make myself feel better, I don't know.
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Steven didn't remember stopping. He just found himself standing in no particular place he recognized, breathing heavily. Whether it was from all the running or because the truths and revelations were too much was something he couldn't discern.
He just felt so tired.
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As you saw, she came up with an idea. The Diamonds had always said this was her planet, that she had to take care of things here. So, she decided the only way to free the earth and all the gems and humans on it, was for Pink Diamond to die.
We thought it would end the war, that all of us would be safe afterwards. But we never accounted for her sisters' or her subjects' reactions. Perhaps we underestimated how loved she really was, how much everyone would grieve for her and want to avenge her.
So many gems ended up dead because of what we did. Soon it was just us: me, Rose, Garnet and soon after that, Amethyst. And only half of us knew that Rose wasn't who she said she was.
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He sank to the ground, laying on his back to look up at the sky. It wad cloudy but otherwise just another beautiful day.
And that just made him feel worse.
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Please know I never wanted to keep this, any of this, a secret. I wanted so badly to tell you, all of you, the truth. Especially you Steven. Every single time you asked for answers, I wanted to give them to you.
But I couldn't. It was one of Pink Diamond's more secret abilities. When she takes your hands and gives you an order, you must follow it. And she ordered me not to speak of this, any of it. She never wanted to look back, she just wanted to live her life as the free and loving Rose Quartz.
When we were looking for her sword, when we went on vacation, when you asked about the palanquin- I was trying so hard to tell you, all of you. But I couldn't.
I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, Steven. I'm sorry this is the only way you could get the truth. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I'm sorry I had to lie to you.
I'm so sorry.
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The tears came rushing down his face then. Remembering Pearl groveling for forgiveness after she wrote out everything even though it wasn't her fault. Amethyst being unable to stop looking at him like she wasn't sure she knew him anymore. And Garnet...
She wasn't Garnet anymore. Sapphire had split and left, unable to be there, unable to handle the lie. Not before flinging harsh words at all of them, of course. About his mom mainly, but some was directed at Pearl, despite the knowledge that she had literally been unable to speak of these. And he himself had been spared no expense either. The future-seeing gem had snapped how she could never look at him again before leaving. Maybe to another town or planet, but either way she had left all of them. Ruby had just kneeled by the warp pad, crying to herself. And then he had left the house, needing so badly to clear his head of all the poisonous thoughts stinging his brain.
His mom was Pink Diamond. His mom had faked her own death, causing hundreds, maybe thousands of Gems to be shattered and killed. She had kept up this lie up until she had become him and now he had to deal with it all.
He wasn't a Quartz. He was a Diamond. Technically, the earth belonged to him. Pearl belonged to him. His whole existence, everything he had ever thought about himself, was all a lie. And now he didn't know what to think. All he could do was softly cry to himself while looking up at the sunlit sky.
When his vision was suddenly full of pink, he wasn't all that surprised. Lion had been becoming more and more attuned to his wants, to somehow know the answers he sought for. And now, he was offering him something else he wanted.
An escape. From here, from the truth, from all of it.
When Lion bowed his head to him, Steven didn't hesitate to go into his mane.
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He tumbled into the hard floor of Lars' ship, taking a few calming breaths as he fought for control over his emotions. He could hear a collective gasp of surprise from Lars and the other Off Colors.
"Steven, what-?" Rather than letting Lars finish his question, the gem hybrid launched himself at the teen, unable to stop the floodgates any longer. He cried in earnest into the older teen's shirt, crying too hard to blabber out an explanation. It was all just too much. The lies, the revelations, everything he had been through since he had first found out about his mom possibly shattering Pink Diamond. It was too much.
Steven could hear talking happening around him as he felt Lars wrap his arms around him, hesitantly then tighten he grip as he continued to hold onto him. Maybe the teen, like Lion, could instinctively understand what he needed now. That he needed someone to ground him, to remind him of who he was. To keep him here, in the present, and not drowning in war memories and secret plans.
He held onto Lars for what seemed like hours, and the pink-skinned teen let him, not complaining once or loosening his own grip on him. It was exactly what he needed and he appreciated that Lars was willing to give it to him.
When he finally calmed down enough to at least push himself away from Lars' chest, he was surprised to see he was in another room entirely. It was a bit smaller than the main one, but still big and green. There was a bunk bed in the corner of the room that looked as though it hadn't been laid in once, but otherwise the room was void of any other furniture or possession.
Steven blinked. He hadn't realized Lars had moved him during his breakdown, but he was glad. He couldn't be around gems right now. "What... What room is this?"
"It the sleeping chambers. None of us need to sleep, and so we usually leave it alone, you know? But it's good when you just need a moment to yourself." The older boy answered. "So, uh, what's up? Why the big freak out?"
Steven could hear the slight awkwardness in Lars' voice as he made his inquisition. The boy wasn't used to having to comfort or assure people, but he could hear that he did care and wanted to help. Just like when the two of them had been stuck together in the Topaz. Steven couldn't help the flood of gratefulness that filled his stomach. Lars really was becoming a better person.
"I'm sorry to just show up out of the blue and all this. I just... I didn't want to be alone and I needed someone who wouldn't look at me differently."
"What happened? You have a fight with those gems you live with?"
"It's... It's more complicated than that."
"I'm listening."
So Steven told him everything. About what happened when he went into Pearl's gem, how his mom was actually Pink Diamond. The plan his mom and Pearl had orchestrated in order to free themselves and the earth from Homeworld. How it backfired and lead to the shattering of thousands of gems. The fact that Pearl was forced to keep it a secret. How Garnet was broken up now because she couldn't handle it, how Amethyst acted like she couldn't recognize him. How he was a Diamond and how nothing could be the same after knowing all this.
Lars listened attentively, face contemplating throughout his story. When Steven finished, he found he had nothing else to say, so he just fell silent. The quiet was better than the deafening silence at home. There was no tension here, no one who would have trouble distinguishing him from his mom. The gem hybrid found he could relax, at least just a little bit. But he also couldn't stop himself from hastily asking a question.
"Do... Do you think less of me?"
"No."
The answer was spoken without any hesitation and firmly. Steven couldn't stop himself from twisting himself so he was facing the pink-skinned teen as he dubiously asked, "Really?"
"Of course not. That'd be like be like being mad at someone because their parents are a jerk. Although,-" and here Lars hesitated, like he was worried about seriously hurting his feelings, "do you think you should be thought less of? Because your mom isn't who you thought she was?"
"I... I don't know. It's good to know my mom never shattered anyone and a everything she did was to save the earth, but..." Steven began, sounding as though he was trying to process his thinking while talking.
"But, what?"
"It's just... She lied to everyone. To the Diamonds, to the other Crystal Gems. She pretended to shatter herself and it led to the death of numerous gems who choose to fight with her. She made up Rose Quartz and she was so selfish, and... and I don't know how to feel about all this. I don't know if I should say what she did was wrong or right." Steven admitted gravely.
Lars studied him for a moment. "Who says you have to?"
"What's?"
"I'm just saying, as a fellow leader and rebel myself, there are times you have to make tough choices and follow your instincts rather than logic. Because when you are leading others, that's the only thing you can do. You have to be strong enough to make a decision for everyone else, especially hard ones. Yeah, it won't always be the right one, and sometimes the course of action you take could end up in disaster, but what matters is that you learn from them and make the most of what's behind. Now, I don't know whether or not you should be mad or sad, but try to look at the things your mom did and figure out the reasons why. To me, yeah she was a little selfish about how she went about it, but her ultimate goal was to free the earth along with her fellow gems from Homeworld. And that has to mean something to you, right?"
Steven was silent as he contemplated that. When you took that into account, he could see things more objectively. After all, Pink Diamond wanted to free herself, gems and humans from Homeworld. She couldn't have known her plans would backfire. And even if she had lied to everyone, what other choice did she have? She could have told the other Diamonds that she wanted to stay on earth, but would they have listened? Or would they have tried to do away with the planet much quicker? And as for her lying to the gems... who's knew her reasoning then?
It could be she wasn't sure she could trust them not to reveal her identity if they chose to remain loyal to Homeworld. Or maybe she was tried of being a Diamond always looked down on and wanted to be a rebel everyone looked up to. Or maybe she was... scared. Perhaps she was afraid the gems wouldn't see her if she had decided to rebel. Perhaps she feared all they would see was a powerful dictator instead of a compassionate, smart, wondering rebel who wanted to be free to be herself.
Whatever her reasoning was, he couldn't fault her for her actions, despite the consequences. Ultimately, she had chosen the earth over her home and he knew that couldn't be easy. So, even with the confusion and sadness he was feeling, he couldn't stop trying to measure up to her. After all, if nothing else, he was her son. And he had to do whatever it took to uphold her legacy.
"Thanks, Lars." Steven mumbled, pressing his face back to the older boy's stomach as he hugged him again. He felt the other teen's reciprocity as he said softly, 'Sure thing, Steven."
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So, here it is. My own version of post-reveal. I just felt Steven would want the opinion of someone who wouldn't sugarcoat. I hope you like my little review of everything as well as Steven's spiral down sadness. Also, I will be writing again soon, I've just been in such a funk lately. Please excuse me and be rest assured I will be updating as soon as I can. Have a good day.