In the rain

''I didn't know why I couldn't tell her the truth; it hurt me to remember my dilemma at the moment. But being able to see Aki's face, it really… did make me happy.''

She got attention of my uneasiness and I couldn't really avoid the truth, she knew me… and very well. But as I turn to her; her worried expression, her hand gripping tightly the umbrella and the drip drop of the rain is making me regret even calling her here.

As I opened my mouth to speak, she looked at me wanting to say something, yet at the same time she didn't do anything at all. Maybe she was waiting for me to talk first… but she didn't know the mistake she was committing and neither do I, because while my mind was debating on telling her in the proper words, my hearts was longing to held her in my arms and ask her to stay, to be here with me always…. to love me like I do.

But you know reality can be a pain sometimes, just when you get the courage to mouth your feelings, your ideas… everything turns back to you and you start to feel the nervousness, the sweaty palms, the thumping of your heart and… you feel horrible for even thinking without her concern.

-Aki, the truth is…-

I really couldn't muster up the courage to tell her while looking at her worried expression, if she is hurting right now… if she ever knows the truth… it would be worst.

Doing my best smile and looking straight in her eyes I couldn't help but let the little lie come out of my mouth, I needed to see her smile.

-I'm joining a Pro League Youth Soccer team in America after this tournament-

She smiled like usually and told me

-I was afraid that something was wrong, since you called me out of the blue- she looked at the rain –a pro youth team… wow. That's great Ichinose-kun-

I couldn't help but… feel relief but following her gaze I could feel sad… because all I told her were lies, all LIES LIES LIES! I was dying to tell her the truth I was hoping for something more… she was smiling but telling her lies isn't going to make it better, I had disappointed her one time and looks like I will never learn…why?... I just…

Bluntly I took a step toward her and without notice I have asked her what my heart desired

-Will you… come with me to America, Aki?-

I was feeling more nervous than ever, I didn't expect to say that… and my heart was killing me, the rain was the only sound after my proposal and… I only waited for her answer.

-With you..?- She looked from her shoes to my face and continued –what do you mean…?-

She had that confused but innocent look on her face and me… I just could help but chuckle. She was the girl I have liked all my life and here I am asking her to be with me, to stay by my side and be… part of my life, but… like always… she is so naïve.

So naïve, that I love her.

-Sorry, that was an ambiguous way to put it- ''and really it was, but… '' I closed my eyes while laughing a little, this was so twisted… that I felt like crying.

-I meant that I wanted to invite you to come see my first match as a professional-

She smiled and answered not really understanding the feeling I had just voiced to her

-Oh, so that was it- she nodded –Yeah, of course I will be there- she looked straight in my eyes and sincerely told me- It's a promise, I will be looking forward to it-

Shaking my feelings aside, the uneasiness disappeared and I smiled at her.

-I'm planning to bring my victory of this world tournament as a present to the Pro Team. I won't lose our next match- I watched the rain fall and make music… the drip drop was soothing.

-Endou-kun and the others won't lose either- she reassured me, she blindly believed in Endou

Turning serious, I wanted to make the same impression she had of him.

-I want to make it a good game, so that it can be remembered- she gasped and looked surprised at my words but before she could ask me anything more I asked her to say hi to everyone and before walking away... I told her

-Im glad we got to meet, Aki- ''because you are one of the reasons I will fight for''

-Me too-

She just didn't understand anything, and I made her come in vain. But as I retreat I didn't look back at her… because every step I took away from her was like every memory of her being erased from my mind and every emotion I felt was painful but most of all… because she didn't deserve to cry for me, to see me more crushed than I already was.

So I made my way back to the dorms… I would keep my promise and give the best I could, that's the last I could do for her.