1Hey, I do not own any of the twilight characters, they are all Stephenie Meyers. I only came up with these parodies.
During Twilight when James, Victoria and Laurent come to the Cullen's baseball game:
The Cullens and Bella and gathered together to greet the vampires.
James steps out in front, walks right past Bella to Alice and says "so Alice, we meet again".
Alice raises her eyebrow in confusion and says "what the hell?"
James looks at her like she should already know what he's talking about, sighs and speaks "well, I'm the dude who wanted to kill you when you were human because you smelled so awesome. But some bad ass vampire whose name I didn't even know stole you from that smelly mental asylum and changed you and here we are again".
Alice is standing there, eyes wide open in a state of shock. Once she recovers she breaks out into dry sobs, yells "I AM NOT MENTAL!" and runs into the forest.
Jasper thanks James for being so evil so he could have Alice and then runs into the forest after her.
Victoria says "that wasn't how it was supposed to happen." She takes a copy of twilight out of nowhere and opens it up to a page, "James was supposed to smell Bella, try to kill her and whist doing so, make a video of what he did to her, plus Alice's story. Then James dies and I come back for revenge."
"Alright let's try that again!" a random director yells who was filming that the whole time. "Everyone back in your places! And where is my tuna salad!"
During New Moon at the Volturi: (Movie)
Aro is about to eat Bella when Alice yells "wait! Bella will be one of us! I've seen it".
Aro walks up to Alice and takes her hand. After a few minutes he nods and says "so you have, you are free to- oh god! That's nasty!" he drops to the ground shuddering uncontrollably muttering something about handcuffs.
Seconds later Edward drops to the ground and joins Aro in his little freak out session.
Bella goes up to Alice and asks what their problem is.
Alice just smiles and says "apparently mine and Jasper's sex life is too much for them to handle."
During Eclipse when Jasper is telling his story to Bella: (Movie)
". . . Maria taught us how to fight. When we did well we were rewarded" he winks at Bella and raises his eyebrow.
Alice appears out of nowhere with a baseball bat and hits Jasper over the head with it. He falls to the ground and Alice climbs on top of him and says "quit talking about how you slept with Maria a jillion times". She smiles and continues "that's for me".
Jasper and Alice start making out and Bella starts slowly backing away but runs when Jasper starts taking off Alice's clothes.
During Breaking Dawn when Jacob phases in front of Charlie:
Jake runs up to Charlie and yells "Charlie! I gotta show you something!"
Charlie turns to face Jacob "what is it? Is it something about Bella?"
Jacob removes his shorts and underwear.
Charlie stares at Jacobs 'south pole' gags and then throws up a bunch of half digested salmon.
Jacob immediately covers his 'parts' and says "no just look at my face for a second.
Charlie looks up just in time to see Jacob explode into a wolf before fainting onto the sidewalk.
Jacob happily struts off with his wolf head held high to tell the Cullens that the deed is done.