Woo, another fic for the Kudley Army! So this is a fluffy Kudley oneshot. Enjoy :)
Disclaimer: *chants* I don't own House, I don't own House, I don't own House...
One of the worst things for two innocent bystanders to experience is the situation where they are subjected to the mind numbing experience of being trapped in a small space with no escape, and absolutely no conversation.
At least that is what Taub thought. Thirteen and Taub had just come back from a patient's home that they had been ordered by House to search. They had both gone through all the small talk that they could think of: the weather, House and his craziness, the state of the economy, and now…there was nothing else to talk about, so they were both engulfed in silence.
Stopped at a red light, Taub drummed his fingers on the steering wheel of his new car, trying to lessen the awkwardness of two employees sentenced to driving back to Princeton without conversation.
The light changed to green – traffic began moving again.
"So…do you like anybody?" Taub asked.
"Don't you think something personal is a little…personal?" Thirteen asked incredulously.
"I'm making light conversation."
"My love life isn't light conversation, and I am not going to gossip with you about it."
"So you do like somebody?" Taub turned to look at Thirteen, who had a small blush creeping into her cheeks as she looked out the window.
"You do!" Taub exclaimed.
Thirteen shook her head and looked down at her lap.
"And I must know the person, or you wouldn't be embarrassed," Taub further concluded.
"Keep your eyes on the road. You wouldn't want to wreak your precious car," Thirteen muttered.
Taub smiled as he turned his attention back to the road.
"Who is it?" he asked.
"I'm not going to tell you," Thirteen said stubbornly.
"Is is House?"
"No."
"Wilson?" Taub guessed.
"Wrong again."
"Cameron?"
Thirteen raised an eyebrow in curiosity while Taub shrugged.
"You do go both ways, so…"
"Not Cameron," Thirteen confirmed.
"If I guessed who it is, will you tell me anyway?"
"No."
"Is it Chase?"
"No."
"Wilson?"
"You already said him. No."
"Cuddy?"
"Really?"
"I'll take that as a no. How about Foreman?"
"Oh God no!"
"…Me?"
"Taub!"
"Just kidding…" Taub laughed at how agitated he was making Thirteen.
"Kutner?" Taub continued.
"No."
"Well, it has to be somebody."
"I'm not telling."
Taub sighed, determined to find out who Thirteen secretly liked.
"House?"
"No."
"Chase?"
"No."
"Cameron?"
"No."
"Wilson?"
"Why do you keep asking me the same people over and over?"
"Because I know it's one of them, and I'm waiting until you slip and say yes," Taub explained.
"It won't work."
"House?"
Thirteen sighed. "No."
"Foreman?"
"No."
"Wilson?"
"No."
"House?"
"No."
"Me?"
"No."
"Kutner?"
"No."
"House?"
"No."
"Kutner?"
"Yes."
Taub quickly snapped his head to see Thirteen covering her mouth, knowing she had said too much.
"I knew it!" Taub said.
Thirteen let her hand drop to her lap. "It wasn't anything…I just said it to throw you off."
"If so, why are you blushing so much?"
"Damn," whispered Thirteen.
Taub's mouth upturned into a grin.
"Aw, look. Tough little Thirteen is crushing on Kutner!"
"Shut up," Thirteen mumbled.
"Now she's getting defensive. What, you are afraid to have emotions for a coworker?" Taub teased.
"I'm having some emotions right now for you, but I want to hurt you. Or maybe I'll just scratch your car…," Thirteen mused.
"Don't do that!"
"Then don't mock me."
"Fine."
The two sat in silence again, even though it was possibly more uncomfortable than the silence earlier. After a few minutes, Thirteen spoke.
"You're not going to tell him, are you?"
"No. Although I want to," Taub said.
"Thank you."
"However…"
"What?" Thirteen spat.
"You really should tell him. You two would make a really good couple, I think. The two of you banter back and forth all the time, and God knows that you both could use somebody. I think that something between you and Kutner…could work."
"Coming from the man who cheated on his wife."
"Hey, I confessed, and my wife and I are still together. I love my-,"
"Wife," Thirteen finished, all too familiar with Taub's phrase.
"Yeah. I do."
Thirteen let out a disgruntled sigh and leaned her head against the window. "Shut up Cupid."
--
Back at the hospital, Taub and Thirteen was joined by Kutner in the laboratory while they were running some tests. Taub hit Thirteen's arm when Kutner walked in, causing her to roll her eyes.
"Hey Kutner, do mind if you finish these?" Taub asked.
"Sure, I don't mind," Kutner said, climbing onto the stool next to Thirteen.
Thirteen shifted in her seat and glared at Taub who was grinning back at her. Taub nodded towards Kutner, and then winked as he left the two alone.
Thirteen sighed and looked at Kutner who had his eyes pushed into a microscope. What was Taub thinking, convincing her that she and Kutner would be good together? Kutner was so aloof and unexpected at times, while she was so…drab? Well, compared to Kutner, she thought she was. And she had baggage…she was well known as a drug user and had an incurable disease. He wouldn't want to be bothered with that. She wouldn't.
"I think it's cancer."
Thirteen snapped out of her thoughts. "What?"
"Cancer." Kutner pointed to the microscope. "Look."
Kutner pushed his chair back as Thirteen leaned over and looked into the microscope. Sure enough, the stains showed that there was cancer present in the cells.
"So?" Kutner asked.
Thirteen tensed up, feeling Kutner's presence close to her, and his hot breath against her neck. "Yeah, you're right," she said as she brought her head away from the microscope, but then she turned around when she heard Kutner's mangled groan. He was clutching his nose and had his eyes squinted in pain. Maybe she had used more force than she intended, resulting in slamming the back of her head into Kutner's face.
"I'm sorry!" Thirteen pulled Kutner's hand away from his face to see blood running out of his nose.
"It's okay," Kutner nasally said, waving his hand. "Really."
Thirteen grabbed the box of tissues a few feet away and pulled out a handful and began soaking up the blood on Kutner's face. After wiping off enough of the blood to see clearly, Thirteen sighed in relief. "It doesn't look broken."
"Well that's good."
Thirteen threw the soaked tissues into the garbage can and then pulled a few clean ones out of the box and handed them to Kutner.
"Thanks," muttered Kutner, pressing the tissues against his nose.
Thirteen snickered at the absurdity of her situation and bad luck. Instead of telling Kutner that she liked him, she stupidly resulted in injuring him.
"I'm fine," Kutner insisted. "But it does hurt."
Thirteen faked a smile. "Why don't I go buy you a drink? It would help with the pain, and it can be my compensation for whamming you in the nose."
Kutner stared at her curiously. "Are you serious?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because…I thought that you didn't like me."
"No, I do like you!" Thirteen said, but then she looked down and began fumbling for words. "I mean, like as a person. Co-worker. You know." She shrugged and began imputing information into the computer, trying to seem that she didn't care whether Kutner said yes or no. Retain that rigid attitude.
"Yeah." Kutner smiled as he flung the tissues into the garbage can. "So how about that drink?"
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:) Revengent