97 seconds…

Disclaimer: I don't own House or its characters. I don't own the song "Not as we". Please don't sue.

Greg stared at his reflection in the knife in his hand. He didn't recognize the man looking back at him… He closed the knife, then opened it again except this time he pointed it at the wall socket across the room from his desk… He looked at the knife again. After a moment he went over the socket and got down on the floor with some difficulty. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath… 'Was he really going to do this?'

The more practical side of his brain took hold. 'What are you thinking? Are you just going to do this with no back up? No plan B?'

Right, I should have someone here… but who? He thought for a moment… 'Hey, what about cutthroat? She wouldn't let me die; she wants this job too badly…' He smiled to himself at his astuteness and paged her… He looked to the socket again and readied himself… 'Ok here goes nothing…'

House inserted the knife into the socket; a pulse went through the blade and into his hand. He couldn't release his hold on the knife… He started to spasm. Then he felt nothing.

Greg saw his life flash before his eyes, his parents, his childhood, med school, Stacy, Wilson, Cuddy, his time with his team… then nothing. Pitch black unfathomable darkness… But there was something else, a light… it was faint. House started to walk towards it and the closer he got the brighter the light became…

Reborn and shivering
Spat out on new terrain
Unsure, unkind, insane
this faint and shaken hour

Day one, day one
Start over again
Step one, step one
I'm barely making sense
For now I'm faking it
'Til I'm psuedo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as "I"
And not as "we"

The darkness was ebbing away and soon House was surrounded by light. That is when he heard a voice…

"I'm not finished with you yet…" The voice seemed to be coming from all directions. Confused House asks, "What happened? Who are you? What are…?"

"I still have much planned for you…" The voice says cutting him off.

There was a bright flash of light and then nothing…

Gun-shy and shivering
Tear it without a hand
Feign brave but still intent
Little and hardly here

Day one, day one
Start over again
Step one, step one
I'm barely making sense
For now I'm faking it
'Til I'm psuedo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as "I"
And not as "we"

The next thing Greg House knew, he awoke to an annoyingly familiar voice

"You're an idiot, you nearly killed yourself" Wilson scolds from the foot of the bed.

'Ah Wilson, ever the Mother hen…'

"That's the whole idea." He says only wincing at the rasp of his voice.

"You wanted to kill yourself?" Wilson asks incredulously.

"I wanted to nearly kill myself. Is he better?" Greg asks numbly…

"No, but he doesn't have cancer, we think it might be eosinophilic pneumonia. Maybe you didn't want to die, but you didn't care if you lived." Wilson prodded.

"You insisted that I needed to see for myself… w-was he discharged?" He asks confused. His mind was still scattered in so many directions it was getting hard to concentrate let alone argue with Wilson.

"No, he's dieing. You've already had two near death experiences." Wilson points out.

"Not that guy, the guy in the car accident with the knife. I- I need to talk to him"

"He died almost an hour ago. Apparently it's bad to electrocute yourself within days of suffering massive internal injuries... Why did you need to talk to him… did you see something?" Wilson asks puzzled.

"He has eosinophilic pneumonia."

"House, what did you see?" Wilson pushes.

"Nothing. Whose idea was that?" House says trying to steer away from what he had not seen but rather heard…

"Brenan. Nothing you don't want to talk about or nothing…"

"Which one's Brenan? Is he the ridiculously old guy?" House interrupts

"House, you got to talk about this…" Wilson says in his best psychiatric voice.

"If it's aggressive enough it may have gotten past the steroids. Start him on cyclophosmide." House says flexing his hand…

"I already did… Just looking at you hurts. I'm going to order up some extra pain meds." Wilson sighs as he picks up a clip board…

"I love you…" House says looking at Wilson… 'If he only knew what happened…'

Eyes wet,
Toward wide open freight
If God is taking bias,
I pray he wants to lose

Day one, day one
Start over again
Step one, step one
I'm barely making sense
For now I'm faking it
'Til I'm psuedo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as "I"
And not as "we"

A/N: Song by Alanis Morissette "not as we" Quotes and characters: House MD ep: 97 seconds…Feel free to leave a comment.

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