Locked in the prison of my mind,
I have no escape, no respite.
You all despise me for what I am.
But your hatred is nothing compared to my own.
Images of sins, past and present, are etched permanently into my eyelids.
Sleep is but an entrance into a whole new level of fear and self-loathing.
Little wonder I put up this mask, this facade.
You accuse me, unjustly, of being evil, The "Bastard" who detests all that is light;
I am much worse than that...
Endangering my own life constantly is not enough to atone for my transgressions.
So I will scowl. I will play the part so well-crafted. I will frighten you, hate you, punish you.
Until at last - my work complete - I can shut my door, clutching my cure, and forever take the pain away.
Hermione raised her hand to the door, tentatively…it was kinda unusual, visiting a professor in the middle of the night – but her NEWTS were coming up ever quicker, and that last potions question on the revision paper…well, she'd rather wake up a snarky Snape and get the question right than face an even snarkier Snape in the morning when she got the question wrong!
She'd searched all the books she could get her hands on, but to no avail.
Who knows? She might even find the professor awake, gentle stirring a softly simmering potion…
She finally plucked up the courage to knock, and tapping the door lightly, she moved back slightly in case an angry Snape answered the door. When a few minutes had gone by, she tapped again. This time, she kept her ear to the door. She heard a muffled groan-
"Professor?" she called, worriedly.
When there was no answer, she stepped back, and surveying the charms locking and guarding his door, she set to work.
They were crafty and complicated, but she wasn't called Hogwarts' "Know-it-all" for nothing.
Feeling slightly smug, but quickly remembering the reason she'd had to undo the charms in the first place, she slowly opened the door – stepping backwards, suddenly, horrified at what she saw…