Legion of Super-Heroes Fanscript: "MaRiLyN MaNsOn HaS BiG MaN-bReAsTs."
by Tom Greene.
Time taking place: After "Re-immersion."
The vast majority of these characters are the copyright of DC Comics. This isn't as needed as a warning, but the writer doesn't want to get sued by The Man.
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.
1,1(1-6.). You see the Legion around a table. Invisible Kid and Brisk are at the end.
Invisible Kid:
To begin with, let us give out props to the new leading team here, us! We rule!
Brisk:
Yeah. This just kicks so much ass, man!
1,7. Invisible Kid:
Is there anything going down in the universe today?
1,8.POV: Brisk looking at a computer. You see a symbol not unlike Earthlink's.
Brisk:
According to this, it says that there's a Khund invasion ship heading for Mars. They also say that some dude named "Grimbor" is taking down a zoo somewhere in Metropolis. He's being accompanied this time by some chick named "Charma."
1,9. Invisible Kid looks surprised.
Invisible Kid:
I think Brisk can handle leading a team against the Khund ship. I'll call up the Subs and we'll take down those other two.
2,1(3 panel). Brisk is surprised:
Brisk:
HUH? Give me the big club duty while you and my running buddies take an easy mission? Why'd you want to do that?
2,2.
Invisible Kid:
First off, this mission is probably easier than you'd think. Take KQ, Zoe,Vi, Garth, and Cos with you; you'll be able to handle this one. I'm taking the Subs to this one because it's less important and I have this...theory that me and the Subs will be able to handle this one.
2,3.
Top:
Brisk:
Okay. Let's light it up.
3,1. You see Brisk and the Legionnaires suggested in a ship. Brisk looks frightened.
Brisk:
NOOOOOOO! This is bad. Why did that nass-head put me in charge of this one! I'm scared!
3,2. Cosmic Boy tries to keep him calm.
Cosmic Boy:
Come on. You're the leader now. Leaders can't pick and choose.
3,3.
Brisk:
But Lyle got to pick and choose! That's why I'm here!
3,4.
Cosmic Boy:
Because he's probably got a plan. That and the fact that it'll read better.
3,5.
Brisk:
Okay. I just wish that he'd tell me why he chose to take the Subs instead of switching off.
3,6. You see Time Warp at the door of the Subs' office.
Time Warp:
Welcome to the Substitute Heroes' office, home of the loosest heroes and heroines in town! What's your poison?
3,7.
Invisible Kid:
I need you to get a team of the best of the Substitute Heroes and send them with me to take down some people.
3,8.
Time Warp:
S'ok. We'll do it.
3,9.
Invisible Kid:
Let's rock.
4,1/2/3. You see Invisible Kid and the Sub team(Boombastic,Time Warp,Slick,Kid Psycho,Hope,Chillingworth, McKnight,Powertrip,Throwback, and Cornell) head towards the gate for the Metropolis Zoo. You see Condo in front of the zoo.
Condo:
This is Condo Arlik reporting. Grimbor and a mysterious woman have taken down the Metropolis Zoo today. Patrons are screaming and running and mm-hey. The Legionnaires have responded quickly by having current leader Invisible Kid lead a team of mostly unproven newcomers to the fore. We'll return after this message by Nutra-Wave.
4,4. You see Brisk infiltrate the Khund ship.
Brisk:
Okay. Luckily, we have some people who'll be able to incapacitate these guys.
4,5. You see a Khund go by.
Khund:
Hey, who won the Moopsball game yesterday?
4,6. Brisk turns on the cold.
Brisk:
EAT COLD, KHUND!
4,7.
Cosmic Boy:
Are you sure that this is the way? I mean, this doesn't seem like a typical invasion ship.
4,8.
Brisk:
The computer told me it was, it is. Let's go.
4,9.
You see them sneak by.
5,1/2/3. You see them walk into a room filled with Khunds. They appear to be eating.
5,4/5/6/7/8/9. You see them totally wreak havoc on the room.
6,1. Cosmic Boy:
Now you're just getting out of line. I'm taking control of this mission.
6,2.
Brisk:
Be my guest. I didn't ask for control.
6,3.
Cosmic Boy:
Ah, here's a random Khund. Tell me, what's this ship for, anyway?
6,4. The Khund looks like he's being sarcastic.
Khund:
It's an invasion ship to kill all your people.
6,5.You see Kid Quantum freeze the Khund in a time sphere.
KQ:
I guess the leader was right. Give him back control.
6,6.
Cosmic Boy:
You take over.
6,7/8/9. You see them walk through.
7,1. You see the team get to the cockpit. A Khund goes by.
Khund:
I'm sorry, but no one may enter the cockpit of this ship.
7,2. You see Violet, alone, at the size of a small girl.
Violet:
C'mon, miss! I really wanna see how the plane works!
7,3. The Khund looks at her.
Khund:
Aw, that's so precious! Of course you can, little girl!
7,4. You see Brisk and Live Wire pop out from the sides.
Brisk:
Sorry...
Live Wire:
We're pinch-hitting for her!
7,5. You see Brisk turn on the cold while Live Wire turns the lightning on.
7,6. You see the pilot and co-pilot of the ship see them.
Pilot:
Ah, welcome to the ship. What'd you like to see?
7,7.
Cosmic Boy:
Your heads on a silver platter before you kill any of the United Planets!
7,8.
Co-Pilot:
You have got to be kidding!
7,9.
Brisk:
Let me lay it on you. Either you're taking this ship back home to Khundland where you came from to settle down with the rest of your shifty caveman people or we'll lay a beatdown Juggalo style on all of you.
8,1.
Pilot:
Come on now, you dirty little Rocker.We're cool. Just settle down.
8,2.
Brisk:
That tears it. S P R A H - Q!
8,3. Brisk lays a cold snap on the room.
8,4.
Cosmic Boy:
Luckily our transsuits protected us. Are they dead?
8,5.
Brisk:
Nope. Just really cold. But we might be. I froze the controls.
8,6.
Cosmic Boy:
Don't just stand there! Heat them up!
8,7/8. Brisk tries to heat the controls.
8,9. Brisk is scared.
Brisk:
They've melted!
9,1.
Cosmic Boy:
Try and keep the passengers calm. I'll try to steer it to Mars' moon.
9,2. Cosmic Boy stays in the cockpit. The others leave.
9,3.
Cosmic Boy:
Come on, do this.
9,4/5/6.You see Cosmic Boy try to find a way to steer it.
9,7/8/9. You see Cosmic Boy fail.
Cos:
CRUD.
10, 1. You see Cosmic Boy call a link to Brisk.
Cosmic Boy:
Have the others put on their transsuits and get the hell out of here.
10,2. Brisk calls the others.
Brisk:
GET YOUR SUITS ON! WE NEED TO GET OUTTA HERE!
10,3. You see the team scrambling for an exit.
10,4. You see Kinetix looking worried.
Kinetix:
Are we just going to let them die?
10,5. Brisk starts to think.
10,6.
Brisk:
Have KQ put on a time sphere around the ship. Hopefully, it'll freeze it long enough to get it noticed by some people.
10,7.
Kid Quantum:
Gotcha.
10,8. Kid Quantum puts a sphere around the ship.
10,9.
Brisk:
As soon as we get back to the ship, we'll make a call to the nearest spaceport to save the ship. Let's go.
11,1. Top:
Well, the Legion of Super-Heroes saved the day here...Or did they? We'll go into their story later. Now, let's check in with their minor league affiliate.
11,2. You see the team get to where Grimbor and Charma are.
Invisible Kid:
You did get the briefing on their powers, right?
11,3.
Boombastic:
Hell yeah.
McKnight:
I think I can take the chick.
11,4. McKnight goes over to Charma.
McKnight:
Hey, you wanna...stop this?
11,5. Charma's power appears to be working.McKnight hits himself in the face.
Charma:
HERO WANNABEE, I COMMAND YOU TO STAND DOWN! AND,um,HIT YOURSELF! HARD! KEEP DOING IT!
11,6. You see Hope act surprised.Boombastic's laughing his ass off.
Hope:
She's taken down McKnight with some strange power! What'll we do?
Boombastic:
I'll give you 20 creds if you have him strip to his skivvies and go pull a Morganna in the monkey cage.
11,7. Charma looks at Boombastic.
Charma:
Okay then. Now that we've got that set, we must beat all of you down.
11,8. Time Warp looks nervous.
Time Warp:
Well, we've embarrassed Conor, now what do we do about these people?
11,9.Boombastic looks as if he has an idea.
Boombastic:
Tag Tornado style. I'll take the chick down, you handle that other dude.
12,1. Invisible Kid looks angry.
Invisible Kid:
NO. I'm in charge here. Shane, you take Psycho, Hope, Slick, and Chillingworth. Go get Grimbor. I'll take Time Warp,Throwback, Powertrip, and Cornell. We'll handle Charma. I've got some secret weapons.
12,2. Boombastic looks miffed.
Boombastic:
Okay. After this, do you want me to jiggle the stick up your ass?
12,3.
Invisible Kid:
Just go. NOW!
12,4. Boombastic leads his team over to a secluded area of the zoo.
Boombastic:
I wonder where that guy could...
12,5. A wrap-like chain goes around Boombastic. He is angry.
Boombastic:
I... think... we've... found him.
12,6. Grimbor looks sure of himself.
Grimbor:
What? Am I supposed to be the official "Break in the New Super-Team" villain? You don't look that powerful.
12,7.Hope looks sure of himself.
Hope:
Try saying that when you zoom to the combined weight of a thousand Monstresses, keeping you in a completely prone position, bitch!
12,8. Grimbor is laughing.
12,9. Grimbor wraps Hope in some chains.
Grimbor:
You idiot! Didn't you do your homework? I don't need to move my legs to work my traps, BITCH!
13,1. Chillingworth makes hedgeclippers appear from nowhere.
Chillingworth:
If you're the homework type, you should get into Current Events. Today's top article: "NEW GUY CUTS ALL OF YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE CHAINS LIKE THEY'RE MADE OF WARM BUTTER."
13,2. Chillingworth cuts his trapped comrades free.
13,3. Grimbor encases Chillingworth in a large chain.
Grimbor:
Sorry, but the sub-headline read: "Little idiot boy talks too much, gets chained up but good."
13,4. Boombastic looks like he has an idea.
Boombastic:
I think I've got this guy's M.O. Mick...
13,5.
Hope:
What's your poison?
13,6.
Boombastic:
Grab my prosthetic.
13,7. Hope is enraged.
Hope:
GRAB YOUR PROSTHETIC? CHECK IT OUT, T-GUNZ IS A SNOG!
13,8. Boombastic is angry.
Boombastic:
MY ARM, NASSHEAD.
13,9. Hope grabs his arm:
Hope:
Okay. Why?
14,1. Boombastic crosses his arms and makes a "finger gun" signal with one of them.
Boombastic:
You have the weight and I have the control. SMOKE THAT MOTHERSPROCKER LIKE IT AIN'T NO THANG!
14,2. All of Grimbor's chains fall to the ground. Grimbor looks upset.
14,3.
Boombastic:
The leader always has to do his homework. Grimbor's power lies in the chains. He doesn't have super-strength. Do the math.
14,4. Hope looks worried.
Hope:
But what about the temporary nature of the power? Your amplification and copying doesn't last long.
14,5. Boombastic looks a little more arrogant than his typical appearance.
Boombastic:
In this case, we have to make this one count. Kick that naz-ass, Bil!
14,6. Kid Psycho looks excited.
Kid Psycho:
I was hoping you'd ask. PUNK ROCK!
14,7. Kid Psycho works the chains around Grimbor, then works him into a nearby animal cage.
14,8.
Boombastic:
This cage should hold him until the cops come. He'll be fine in here.Let's go help the others.
14,9. You see them walk past a sign on the cage saying :WARNING! THE GORILLA IN THIS CAGE IS IN HEAT. KEEP OUT OF CAGE.
Bubble coming from off-panel:
NO!
15,1. You see Invisible Kid size the competition up.
Invisible Kid:
So, Charma, we meet again.
15,2.
Charma:
Ah, yes. You obviously got some reinforcements this time around. Couldn't beat me alone last time, won't even try this time.
15,3.
Invisible Kid:
The only difference is that you didn't know about my ace in the hole last time. This time, you can just find out.
15,4.
Charma:
INVISIBLE KID, I COMMAND YOU TO STAY VISIBLE. NOW. DO EET.
15,5. Invisible Kid:
Okay.
15,6. You see Charma get hit in the back. It looks like nothing's behind her.
15,6. Charma is visibly upset.
Charma:
OKAY. DID YOU GET JACQUES TO HELP YOU AGAIN?
15,6.
Invisible Kid:
Oh, heavens no! I got the original and best Invisible Kid to help.
15,7.
Charma:
But that's not possible!
15,8. Time Warp takes his hand away from Invisible Kid's arm, coming into visibility.
Time Warp:
It is when you're homies with a guy who can travel through time at will. Me and him went through a couple of panels ago, did some damage, came back at the exact same time.
15,9.
Charma:
Okay then, whelp. I COMMAND YOU TO GO BACK IN TIME AND MEET WITH YOURSELF,THUS CAUSING A PARADOX THAT WOULD DESTROY YOU IN ALL TIMES.
16,1. Time Warp:
Oh, I don't think so. Cool extra bonus to my power, ya see. But I will go back in time.
16,2. Charma gets a black eye from nowhere.
Charma:
WHAT THE SPROCK? No one hit me, at least as far as I remember.
16,3. Time Warp comes back into sight.
Time Warp:
MAN, I LOVE HAVING THIS POWER!
16,4. Charma is visibly frustrated.
Charma:
I COMMAND BOTH OF YOU TO BEAT EACH OTHER UP!
16,5. Throwback looks as if she has an idea.
Throwback:
SAME TO YOU AND MORE OF IT.
16,6. You see Throwback copy the little movements that Charma makes when using her power.
16,7. Charma gets a devious smile on her face.
Charma:
Thank you. I needed the laugh.
16,8.
Invisible Kid:
Melissa! Her power doesn't work on females!
16,9.
Throwback:
DAMMIT!
17,1.
Powertrip:
Just because you're useless against her doesn't mean we have to sit back. Jos, go wall on the good peeps.
17,2.
Cornell:
Gotcha.
17,3. Powertrip gets a large glow around her. You see Charma start to burn.
17,4. Charma grabs Cornell, forcing the invulnerability shield to stop. Powertrip stops the radiation.
17,5.
Charma:
GOTCHA! STAND DOWN OR I'LL SNAP HER!
17,6. A green fireball comes out of nowhere, hitting Charma.
Two voices (off-panel characters):
PUNK ROCK!
SMOKE THAT MOTHERSPROCKER LIKE IT AIN'T NO THANG!
17,7. Charma drops Cornell.
17,8. Cornell floats back to the rest of the team. Charma looks mad.
Charma:
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS???
17,9. Boombastic and Kid Psycho make flashy leaps in. Both have their arms in an "X" shape.
Boombastic:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,BOYS AND GIRLS, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES, THE LEGION OF SUBSTITUTE HEROES PROUDLY BRING TO YOU, TWO OF THE BEST DAMNED HEROES IN THE WORLD, KID PSYCHO AND BOOMBASTIC!
Kid Psycho:
If you ain't down with that, WE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA...
18,1.
Charma:
Ah. Big mistake, flame boy. I COMMAND YOUR FLAMES TO.....
18,2. Charma falls asleep where she stands.
18,3. Boombastic gets a smug look and starts to "cabbage patch.".
Boombastic:
Who's house? Run's house!
18,4. Condo comes out from the shadows.
Condo:
Hush up, Flame-Boy,
Before I do to you
What I did to Charma.
18,5. Time Warp acts surprised.
Time Warp:
Hold the phone. You have super-powers?
18,6.
Condo:
You didn't know that? Hell, since the 27th century all reporters have had some special power in order to help protect themselves while reporting in war zones. Most of us just keep it on the down-low.
18,7.
Invisible Kid:
Well, we ended this chapter in your book. Let's go back to the HQ. You need a ride, Condo?
18,8.
Condo:
Sure. The story I came for is done. There is a "Lighter side of the News" story about a man who was caught by the police trying to mack on monkeys in the primate house today, but my assistant can handle that one.
18,9. The entire gang goes to the HQ. Brisk and company are already there.
19,1. Brisk goes over to Invisible Kid:
Excellent decision. That mission rocked.
19,2.
Invisible Kid:
Good show. Not bad for a neophyte, huh?
19,3. Boombastic goes over to Invisible Kid.
Boombastic:
I need to speak to you in private.
19,4. Brisk feigns disappointment. Boombastic looks like he's being sarcastic.
Brisk:
Is that all? No "Hello" to your brother the Khund-stopper?
Boombastic:
Later, John. I need to speak with "Fearless Leader."
19,5.
Invisible Kid:
Good. I need to speak with you as well.
19,6. Invisible Kid and Boombastic go into the leader's office.
Boombastic:
Why did you do it?
Invisible Kid:
Do what?
19,7. Boombastic looks hurt.
Boombastic:
One of the rules set up for Sub-Legion relations is that when any Legionnaire takes the Sub leader and enough Subs with him on a mission to constitute a majority, the Sub leader is automatically mission leader.You took control in this one from me.
19,8.
Invisible Kid:
Look. I have a tad more knowledge on how to make the teams in order to beat the given enemies. I knew you guys would just rock Grimbor.
19,9. Boombastic gets slightly peeved.
Boombastic:
But why Melissa? Her powers are useless against Charma...
20,1. Invisible Kid looks completely calm in contrast to Boombastic's coming rage.
Invisible Kid:
... And unless she could get her hands on one of those chains of Grimbor's, it would be the same story for you guys.I picked the females because they'd be immune to her power.
20,2.
Boombastic:
But why Stefan?
20,3.
Invisible Kid:
Because I knew he'd be immune as well.
Boombastic:
Why?
20,4.
Invisible Kid:
I knew Charma from way back. Since she got her power, I've been immune to it, and from what I know about your team's makeup, I figured Stefan would be too.
20,5.
Boombastic:
Are you saying anything?
20,6.
Invisible Kid:
Shane, I'M GAY! I knew Stefan was, and bet there'd be no effect. I was right.
20,7.Boombastic looks taken aback.
Boombastic:
Okay. Good picks. You da man.
20,8.
Invisible Kid:
What about you, man?
20,9. Boombastic is surprised.
Boombastic:
What about me?
21,1. Invisible Kid looks peeved.
Invisible Kid:
Dood, just because you can't see me doesn't mean I can't see you. I saw you and Bil while me and Stefan snuck up behind Charma. Why didn't you help us? A good fireball would have helped a LOT at that time.
21,2.
Boombastic:
Because we didn't want Charma to see us and use her power. If I did it then, I'd probably have been cooked by now.How was I to know that that reporter dude was watching our back?
21,3. Invisible Kid is ticked off.
Invisible Kid:
But you're invulnerable! You can't feel pain! Why didn't you help?
21,4.
Boombastic:
Because I'm only nigh-invulnerable. I could have been burnt at that time.
21,5.
Invisible Kid:
But why did you help out right after she grabbed Jocelyn? You could have been cooked after you did that if Condo didn't save your ass.
21,6. Boombastic is sweating.
Boombastic:
I knew she wouldn't try and kill either of you at that time. It wasn't until she grabbed Jocelyn that there was a chance of a fatality.
21,7. Invisible Kid is raging.
Invisible Kid:
BUT SHE'S INVULNERABLE! If Charma even tried to snap her neck, it wouldn't do so! What I want to know is, IF YOU WERE JUST WAITING IT OUT WHILE THE LEADER OF THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES AND THE SUBSTITUTE HEROES' DEPUTY LEADER, A PERSON WELL KNOWN TO BE ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS, WERE FIGHTING SOMEBODY AT CHARMA'S LEVEL, WHY WOULD YOU COME FROM THE SHADOWS AND RISK INJURY FOR SOMEBODY WHO WOULD HAVE SURVIVED ANYWAY IF ANYTHING DID HAPPEN?
21,8. Boombastic's temper is apparently flaring.
Boombastic:
BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH HER, OKAY?
21,9. Invisible Kid tries to regain his bearings.
Invisible Kid:
Well, I think that the first true meeting between the Legion's leader and second deputy leader was quite productive.
22,1. Boombastic:
Yes, let's adjourn and go hang with the rest of the people.
22,2. Invisible Kid and Boombastic are walking.
Boombastic:
So. I won't tell about your general preference if you don't tell about my specific preference?
22,3.
Invisible Kid:
Actually, I don't really care. Tell whoever you want about mine. I will keep yours silent, though.
22,4.
Boombastic:
Is there any catch to this?
Invisible Kid:
Just add Condo to the Subs. He's got the power, and he's a good friend of mine. Of course, when I say friend, I mean lover.
22,5(7 in panel, with arrows.)
Boombastic:
Okay. Let's go watch some TV.
22,5/6/8/9. You see the team watching the news.
Newscaster:
Hello there. Here's the news for tonight. Our top story is that the Legion of Super-Heroes has gone bad. Today a team of Legionnaires brought down a commercial flight going from Mars to Khundia. This incident has sparked the Khunds to demand the Legionnaires' expulsions or else they'll go to war on the United Planets. More on this later...
Bottom of page 22:
Brisk:
I am so dead.
by Tom Greene.
Time taking place: After "Re-immersion."
The vast majority of these characters are the copyright of DC Comics. This isn't as needed as a warning, but the writer doesn't want to get sued by The Man.
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.
1,1(1-6.). You see the Legion around a table. Invisible Kid and Brisk are at the end.
Invisible Kid:
To begin with, let us give out props to the new leading team here, us! We rule!
Brisk:
Yeah. This just kicks so much ass, man!
1,7. Invisible Kid:
Is there anything going down in the universe today?
1,8.POV: Brisk looking at a computer. You see a symbol not unlike Earthlink's.
Brisk:
According to this, it says that there's a Khund invasion ship heading for Mars. They also say that some dude named "Grimbor" is taking down a zoo somewhere in Metropolis. He's being accompanied this time by some chick named "Charma."
1,9. Invisible Kid looks surprised.
Invisible Kid:
I think Brisk can handle leading a team against the Khund ship. I'll call up the Subs and we'll take down those other two.
2,1(3 panel). Brisk is surprised:
Brisk:
HUH? Give me the big club duty while you and my running buddies take an easy mission? Why'd you want to do that?
2,2.
Invisible Kid:
First off, this mission is probably easier than you'd think. Take KQ, Zoe,Vi, Garth, and Cos with you; you'll be able to handle this one. I'm taking the Subs to this one because it's less important and I have this...theory that me and the Subs will be able to handle this one.
2,3.
Top:
Brisk:
Okay. Let's light it up.
3,1. You see Brisk and the Legionnaires suggested in a ship. Brisk looks frightened.
Brisk:
NOOOOOOO! This is bad. Why did that nass-head put me in charge of this one! I'm scared!
3,2. Cosmic Boy tries to keep him calm.
Cosmic Boy:
Come on. You're the leader now. Leaders can't pick and choose.
3,3.
Brisk:
But Lyle got to pick and choose! That's why I'm here!
3,4.
Cosmic Boy:
Because he's probably got a plan. That and the fact that it'll read better.
3,5.
Brisk:
Okay. I just wish that he'd tell me why he chose to take the Subs instead of switching off.
3,6. You see Time Warp at the door of the Subs' office.
Time Warp:
Welcome to the Substitute Heroes' office, home of the loosest heroes and heroines in town! What's your poison?
3,7.
Invisible Kid:
I need you to get a team of the best of the Substitute Heroes and send them with me to take down some people.
3,8.
Time Warp:
S'ok. We'll do it.
3,9.
Invisible Kid:
Let's rock.
4,1/2/3. You see Invisible Kid and the Sub team(Boombastic,Time Warp,Slick,Kid Psycho,Hope,Chillingworth, McKnight,Powertrip,Throwback, and Cornell) head towards the gate for the Metropolis Zoo. You see Condo in front of the zoo.
Condo:
This is Condo Arlik reporting. Grimbor and a mysterious woman have taken down the Metropolis Zoo today. Patrons are screaming and running and mm-hey. The Legionnaires have responded quickly by having current leader Invisible Kid lead a team of mostly unproven newcomers to the fore. We'll return after this message by Nutra-Wave.
4,4. You see Brisk infiltrate the Khund ship.
Brisk:
Okay. Luckily, we have some people who'll be able to incapacitate these guys.
4,5. You see a Khund go by.
Khund:
Hey, who won the Moopsball game yesterday?
4,6. Brisk turns on the cold.
Brisk:
EAT COLD, KHUND!
4,7.
Cosmic Boy:
Are you sure that this is the way? I mean, this doesn't seem like a typical invasion ship.
4,8.
Brisk:
The computer told me it was, it is. Let's go.
4,9.
You see them sneak by.
5,1/2/3. You see them walk into a room filled with Khunds. They appear to be eating.
5,4/5/6/7/8/9. You see them totally wreak havoc on the room.
6,1. Cosmic Boy:
Now you're just getting out of line. I'm taking control of this mission.
6,2.
Brisk:
Be my guest. I didn't ask for control.
6,3.
Cosmic Boy:
Ah, here's a random Khund. Tell me, what's this ship for, anyway?
6,4. The Khund looks like he's being sarcastic.
Khund:
It's an invasion ship to kill all your people.
6,5.You see Kid Quantum freeze the Khund in a time sphere.
KQ:
I guess the leader was right. Give him back control.
6,6.
Cosmic Boy:
You take over.
6,7/8/9. You see them walk through.
7,1. You see the team get to the cockpit. A Khund goes by.
Khund:
I'm sorry, but no one may enter the cockpit of this ship.
7,2. You see Violet, alone, at the size of a small girl.
Violet:
C'mon, miss! I really wanna see how the plane works!
7,3. The Khund looks at her.
Khund:
Aw, that's so precious! Of course you can, little girl!
7,4. You see Brisk and Live Wire pop out from the sides.
Brisk:
Sorry...
Live Wire:
We're pinch-hitting for her!
7,5. You see Brisk turn on the cold while Live Wire turns the lightning on.
7,6. You see the pilot and co-pilot of the ship see them.
Pilot:
Ah, welcome to the ship. What'd you like to see?
7,7.
Cosmic Boy:
Your heads on a silver platter before you kill any of the United Planets!
7,8.
Co-Pilot:
You have got to be kidding!
7,9.
Brisk:
Let me lay it on you. Either you're taking this ship back home to Khundland where you came from to settle down with the rest of your shifty caveman people or we'll lay a beatdown Juggalo style on all of you.
8,1.
Pilot:
Come on now, you dirty little Rocker.We're cool. Just settle down.
8,2.
Brisk:
That tears it. S P R A H - Q!
8,3. Brisk lays a cold snap on the room.
8,4.
Cosmic Boy:
Luckily our transsuits protected us. Are they dead?
8,5.
Brisk:
Nope. Just really cold. But we might be. I froze the controls.
8,6.
Cosmic Boy:
Don't just stand there! Heat them up!
8,7/8. Brisk tries to heat the controls.
8,9. Brisk is scared.
Brisk:
They've melted!
9,1.
Cosmic Boy:
Try and keep the passengers calm. I'll try to steer it to Mars' moon.
9,2. Cosmic Boy stays in the cockpit. The others leave.
9,3.
Cosmic Boy:
Come on, do this.
9,4/5/6.You see Cosmic Boy try to find a way to steer it.
9,7/8/9. You see Cosmic Boy fail.
Cos:
CRUD.
10, 1. You see Cosmic Boy call a link to Brisk.
Cosmic Boy:
Have the others put on their transsuits and get the hell out of here.
10,2. Brisk calls the others.
Brisk:
GET YOUR SUITS ON! WE NEED TO GET OUTTA HERE!
10,3. You see the team scrambling for an exit.
10,4. You see Kinetix looking worried.
Kinetix:
Are we just going to let them die?
10,5. Brisk starts to think.
10,6.
Brisk:
Have KQ put on a time sphere around the ship. Hopefully, it'll freeze it long enough to get it noticed by some people.
10,7.
Kid Quantum:
Gotcha.
10,8. Kid Quantum puts a sphere around the ship.
10,9.
Brisk:
As soon as we get back to the ship, we'll make a call to the nearest spaceport to save the ship. Let's go.
11,1. Top:
Well, the Legion of Super-Heroes saved the day here...Or did they? We'll go into their story later. Now, let's check in with their minor league affiliate.
11,2. You see the team get to where Grimbor and Charma are.
Invisible Kid:
You did get the briefing on their powers, right?
11,3.
Boombastic:
Hell yeah.
McKnight:
I think I can take the chick.
11,4. McKnight goes over to Charma.
McKnight:
Hey, you wanna...stop this?
11,5. Charma's power appears to be working.McKnight hits himself in the face.
Charma:
HERO WANNABEE, I COMMAND YOU TO STAND DOWN! AND,um,HIT YOURSELF! HARD! KEEP DOING IT!
11,6. You see Hope act surprised.Boombastic's laughing his ass off.
Hope:
She's taken down McKnight with some strange power! What'll we do?
Boombastic:
I'll give you 20 creds if you have him strip to his skivvies and go pull a Morganna in the monkey cage.
11,7. Charma looks at Boombastic.
Charma:
Okay then. Now that we've got that set, we must beat all of you down.
11,8. Time Warp looks nervous.
Time Warp:
Well, we've embarrassed Conor, now what do we do about these people?
11,9.Boombastic looks as if he has an idea.
Boombastic:
Tag Tornado style. I'll take the chick down, you handle that other dude.
12,1. Invisible Kid looks angry.
Invisible Kid:
NO. I'm in charge here. Shane, you take Psycho, Hope, Slick, and Chillingworth. Go get Grimbor. I'll take Time Warp,Throwback, Powertrip, and Cornell. We'll handle Charma. I've got some secret weapons.
12,2. Boombastic looks miffed.
Boombastic:
Okay. After this, do you want me to jiggle the stick up your ass?
12,3.
Invisible Kid:
Just go. NOW!
12,4. Boombastic leads his team over to a secluded area of the zoo.
Boombastic:
I wonder where that guy could...
12,5. A wrap-like chain goes around Boombastic. He is angry.
Boombastic:
I... think... we've... found him.
12,6. Grimbor looks sure of himself.
Grimbor:
What? Am I supposed to be the official "Break in the New Super-Team" villain? You don't look that powerful.
12,7.Hope looks sure of himself.
Hope:
Try saying that when you zoom to the combined weight of a thousand Monstresses, keeping you in a completely prone position, bitch!
12,8. Grimbor is laughing.
12,9. Grimbor wraps Hope in some chains.
Grimbor:
You idiot! Didn't you do your homework? I don't need to move my legs to work my traps, BITCH!
13,1. Chillingworth makes hedgeclippers appear from nowhere.
Chillingworth:
If you're the homework type, you should get into Current Events. Today's top article: "NEW GUY CUTS ALL OF YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE CHAINS LIKE THEY'RE MADE OF WARM BUTTER."
13,2. Chillingworth cuts his trapped comrades free.
13,3. Grimbor encases Chillingworth in a large chain.
Grimbor:
Sorry, but the sub-headline read: "Little idiot boy talks too much, gets chained up but good."
13,4. Boombastic looks like he has an idea.
Boombastic:
I think I've got this guy's M.O. Mick...
13,5.
Hope:
What's your poison?
13,6.
Boombastic:
Grab my prosthetic.
13,7. Hope is enraged.
Hope:
GRAB YOUR PROSTHETIC? CHECK IT OUT, T-GUNZ IS A SNOG!
13,8. Boombastic is angry.
Boombastic:
MY ARM, NASSHEAD.
13,9. Hope grabs his arm:
Hope:
Okay. Why?
14,1. Boombastic crosses his arms and makes a "finger gun" signal with one of them.
Boombastic:
You have the weight and I have the control. SMOKE THAT MOTHERSPROCKER LIKE IT AIN'T NO THANG!
14,2. All of Grimbor's chains fall to the ground. Grimbor looks upset.
14,3.
Boombastic:
The leader always has to do his homework. Grimbor's power lies in the chains. He doesn't have super-strength. Do the math.
14,4. Hope looks worried.
Hope:
But what about the temporary nature of the power? Your amplification and copying doesn't last long.
14,5. Boombastic looks a little more arrogant than his typical appearance.
Boombastic:
In this case, we have to make this one count. Kick that naz-ass, Bil!
14,6. Kid Psycho looks excited.
Kid Psycho:
I was hoping you'd ask. PUNK ROCK!
14,7. Kid Psycho works the chains around Grimbor, then works him into a nearby animal cage.
14,8.
Boombastic:
This cage should hold him until the cops come. He'll be fine in here.Let's go help the others.
14,9. You see them walk past a sign on the cage saying :WARNING! THE GORILLA IN THIS CAGE IS IN HEAT. KEEP OUT OF CAGE.
Bubble coming from off-panel:
NO!
15,1. You see Invisible Kid size the competition up.
Invisible Kid:
So, Charma, we meet again.
15,2.
Charma:
Ah, yes. You obviously got some reinforcements this time around. Couldn't beat me alone last time, won't even try this time.
15,3.
Invisible Kid:
The only difference is that you didn't know about my ace in the hole last time. This time, you can just find out.
15,4.
Charma:
INVISIBLE KID, I COMMAND YOU TO STAY VISIBLE. NOW. DO EET.
15,5. Invisible Kid:
Okay.
15,6. You see Charma get hit in the back. It looks like nothing's behind her.
15,6. Charma is visibly upset.
Charma:
OKAY. DID YOU GET JACQUES TO HELP YOU AGAIN?
15,6.
Invisible Kid:
Oh, heavens no! I got the original and best Invisible Kid to help.
15,7.
Charma:
But that's not possible!
15,8. Time Warp takes his hand away from Invisible Kid's arm, coming into visibility.
Time Warp:
It is when you're homies with a guy who can travel through time at will. Me and him went through a couple of panels ago, did some damage, came back at the exact same time.
15,9.
Charma:
Okay then, whelp. I COMMAND YOU TO GO BACK IN TIME AND MEET WITH YOURSELF,THUS CAUSING A PARADOX THAT WOULD DESTROY YOU IN ALL TIMES.
16,1. Time Warp:
Oh, I don't think so. Cool extra bonus to my power, ya see. But I will go back in time.
16,2. Charma gets a black eye from nowhere.
Charma:
WHAT THE SPROCK? No one hit me, at least as far as I remember.
16,3. Time Warp comes back into sight.
Time Warp:
MAN, I LOVE HAVING THIS POWER!
16,4. Charma is visibly frustrated.
Charma:
I COMMAND BOTH OF YOU TO BEAT EACH OTHER UP!
16,5. Throwback looks as if she has an idea.
Throwback:
SAME TO YOU AND MORE OF IT.
16,6. You see Throwback copy the little movements that Charma makes when using her power.
16,7. Charma gets a devious smile on her face.
Charma:
Thank you. I needed the laugh.
16,8.
Invisible Kid:
Melissa! Her power doesn't work on females!
16,9.
Throwback:
DAMMIT!
17,1.
Powertrip:
Just because you're useless against her doesn't mean we have to sit back. Jos, go wall on the good peeps.
17,2.
Cornell:
Gotcha.
17,3. Powertrip gets a large glow around her. You see Charma start to burn.
17,4. Charma grabs Cornell, forcing the invulnerability shield to stop. Powertrip stops the radiation.
17,5.
Charma:
GOTCHA! STAND DOWN OR I'LL SNAP HER!
17,6. A green fireball comes out of nowhere, hitting Charma.
Two voices (off-panel characters):
PUNK ROCK!
SMOKE THAT MOTHERSPROCKER LIKE IT AIN'T NO THANG!
17,7. Charma drops Cornell.
17,8. Cornell floats back to the rest of the team. Charma looks mad.
Charma:
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS???
17,9. Boombastic and Kid Psycho make flashy leaps in. Both have their arms in an "X" shape.
Boombastic:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,BOYS AND GIRLS, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES, THE LEGION OF SUBSTITUTE HEROES PROUDLY BRING TO YOU, TWO OF THE BEST DAMNED HEROES IN THE WORLD, KID PSYCHO AND BOOMBASTIC!
Kid Psycho:
If you ain't down with that, WE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA...
18,1.
Charma:
Ah. Big mistake, flame boy. I COMMAND YOUR FLAMES TO.....
18,2. Charma falls asleep where she stands.
18,3. Boombastic gets a smug look and starts to "cabbage patch.".
Boombastic:
Who's house? Run's house!
18,4. Condo comes out from the shadows.
Condo:
Hush up, Flame-Boy,
Before I do to you
What I did to Charma.
18,5. Time Warp acts surprised.
Time Warp:
Hold the phone. You have super-powers?
18,6.
Condo:
You didn't know that? Hell, since the 27th century all reporters have had some special power in order to help protect themselves while reporting in war zones. Most of us just keep it on the down-low.
18,7.
Invisible Kid:
Well, we ended this chapter in your book. Let's go back to the HQ. You need a ride, Condo?
18,8.
Condo:
Sure. The story I came for is done. There is a "Lighter side of the News" story about a man who was caught by the police trying to mack on monkeys in the primate house today, but my assistant can handle that one.
18,9. The entire gang goes to the HQ. Brisk and company are already there.
19,1. Brisk goes over to Invisible Kid:
Excellent decision. That mission rocked.
19,2.
Invisible Kid:
Good show. Not bad for a neophyte, huh?
19,3. Boombastic goes over to Invisible Kid.
Boombastic:
I need to speak to you in private.
19,4. Brisk feigns disappointment. Boombastic looks like he's being sarcastic.
Brisk:
Is that all? No "Hello" to your brother the Khund-stopper?
Boombastic:
Later, John. I need to speak with "Fearless Leader."
19,5.
Invisible Kid:
Good. I need to speak with you as well.
19,6. Invisible Kid and Boombastic go into the leader's office.
Boombastic:
Why did you do it?
Invisible Kid:
Do what?
19,7. Boombastic looks hurt.
Boombastic:
One of the rules set up for Sub-Legion relations is that when any Legionnaire takes the Sub leader and enough Subs with him on a mission to constitute a majority, the Sub leader is automatically mission leader.You took control in this one from me.
19,8.
Invisible Kid:
Look. I have a tad more knowledge on how to make the teams in order to beat the given enemies. I knew you guys would just rock Grimbor.
19,9. Boombastic gets slightly peeved.
Boombastic:
But why Melissa? Her powers are useless against Charma...
20,1. Invisible Kid looks completely calm in contrast to Boombastic's coming rage.
Invisible Kid:
... And unless she could get her hands on one of those chains of Grimbor's, it would be the same story for you guys.I picked the females because they'd be immune to her power.
20,2.
Boombastic:
But why Stefan?
20,3.
Invisible Kid:
Because I knew he'd be immune as well.
Boombastic:
Why?
20,4.
Invisible Kid:
I knew Charma from way back. Since she got her power, I've been immune to it, and from what I know about your team's makeup, I figured Stefan would be too.
20,5.
Boombastic:
Are you saying anything?
20,6.
Invisible Kid:
Shane, I'M GAY! I knew Stefan was, and bet there'd be no effect. I was right.
20,7.Boombastic looks taken aback.
Boombastic:
Okay. Good picks. You da man.
20,8.
Invisible Kid:
What about you, man?
20,9. Boombastic is surprised.
Boombastic:
What about me?
21,1. Invisible Kid looks peeved.
Invisible Kid:
Dood, just because you can't see me doesn't mean I can't see you. I saw you and Bil while me and Stefan snuck up behind Charma. Why didn't you help us? A good fireball would have helped a LOT at that time.
21,2.
Boombastic:
Because we didn't want Charma to see us and use her power. If I did it then, I'd probably have been cooked by now.How was I to know that that reporter dude was watching our back?
21,3. Invisible Kid is ticked off.
Invisible Kid:
But you're invulnerable! You can't feel pain! Why didn't you help?
21,4.
Boombastic:
Because I'm only nigh-invulnerable. I could have been burnt at that time.
21,5.
Invisible Kid:
But why did you help out right after she grabbed Jocelyn? You could have been cooked after you did that if Condo didn't save your ass.
21,6. Boombastic is sweating.
Boombastic:
I knew she wouldn't try and kill either of you at that time. It wasn't until she grabbed Jocelyn that there was a chance of a fatality.
21,7. Invisible Kid is raging.
Invisible Kid:
BUT SHE'S INVULNERABLE! If Charma even tried to snap her neck, it wouldn't do so! What I want to know is, IF YOU WERE JUST WAITING IT OUT WHILE THE LEADER OF THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES AND THE SUBSTITUTE HEROES' DEPUTY LEADER, A PERSON WELL KNOWN TO BE ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS, WERE FIGHTING SOMEBODY AT CHARMA'S LEVEL, WHY WOULD YOU COME FROM THE SHADOWS AND RISK INJURY FOR SOMEBODY WHO WOULD HAVE SURVIVED ANYWAY IF ANYTHING DID HAPPEN?
21,8. Boombastic's temper is apparently flaring.
Boombastic:
BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH HER, OKAY?
21,9. Invisible Kid tries to regain his bearings.
Invisible Kid:
Well, I think that the first true meeting between the Legion's leader and second deputy leader was quite productive.
22,1. Boombastic:
Yes, let's adjourn and go hang with the rest of the people.
22,2. Invisible Kid and Boombastic are walking.
Boombastic:
So. I won't tell about your general preference if you don't tell about my specific preference?
22,3.
Invisible Kid:
Actually, I don't really care. Tell whoever you want about mine. I will keep yours silent, though.
22,4.
Boombastic:
Is there any catch to this?
Invisible Kid:
Just add Condo to the Subs. He's got the power, and he's a good friend of mine. Of course, when I say friend, I mean lover.
22,5(7 in panel, with arrows.)
Boombastic:
Okay. Let's go watch some TV.
22,5/6/8/9. You see the team watching the news.
Newscaster:
Hello there. Here's the news for tonight. Our top story is that the Legion of Super-Heroes has gone bad. Today a team of Legionnaires brought down a commercial flight going from Mars to Khundia. This incident has sparked the Khunds to demand the Legionnaires' expulsions or else they'll go to war on the United Planets. More on this later...
Bottom of page 22:
Brisk:
I am so dead.