"Listy have I ever told you about my paperweight collection?"
"Sure man, several times!" Rimmer leans back in his chair humming softly, several minutes pass.
"Wait a minute not I haven't!"
"Sure I swear!"
"Ok than how many did I have?"
"How many? How many paperweights?"
"No how many ketchup bottles lined end to end it would take to circle the earth! Yes paperweights you git!"
"1,250."
"I knew it!"
"Could we keep it that way? I'm begging you!"
"I got my first when I was six I stole it from my cousin. It was in shape of the ancient Effile Tower. Now the next I bought three weeks later…."
"Shut up Rimmer!"
"Pardon?"
"Shut up."
"Fine. By the way five."
"Wait your paperweight collection consisted of five? One hell of a collection man! Fine finish telling me about them this shouldn't take too long."
"As I was saying I got my second three weeks later in the shape of the Earth, I soon cracked it. The next seven in the shapes of the Seven Dwarfs from Snowwhite, my favorite was Sneezy…"
"Oh hold up you said five man. That's nine."
"Yeah five hundred. May I continue please?"
"No!"