Elseworlds Batman: Christmas
Batman soars through the skies in the Batwing. Since Zachariah is now Batman, Bruce has allowed him to use it for his patrols for the GCPD. Gordon had hired him to locate Calendar Man, who has been missing since the Joker's previous breakout, but thanks to Vanessa, Joker is no longer a problem. The windshield wipers are quickly scraping away the white crystalline snow from his view as Batman keeps his glowing blue eyes on the sky in front of him.
Batman receives a call from the Batcave. He pushes a button on the dashboard to take the call. "Got anything for me, Bruce?" "I do, Calendar Man's last known location. It was somewhere in the business district." Batman touches a GPS on the dashboard. "I found it. I'll let you know what I found." Batman opens the hatch and dive-bombs out of the Batwing.
The snow falls with him at an even pace as he gazes at the distant ground below, closing in fast. He can see the concrete jungle below him, the people walking the streets on Christmas Eve, doing their last-minute shopping for the big day tomorrow. Batman holds out his arms as a cape pops out of his back, acting as a parachute. He glides in front of an alleyway and lands, retracting his cape. Batman stands up and approaches the crime scene, where there is an outline of someone laying flat on their back. Batman scans the scene, seeing an image of Calendar Man stabbing the victim multiple times before he fell on his back.
"He was here. He snuck up on the victim from behind, stabbed him in the back three times, then let him bleed out. Calendar Man then ran further into the alleyway to avoid detection. He knew better than to run into the street after the murder, especially on Christmas Eve." Batman then contacts someone electronically by nanotech. "Catwoman, you there?"
"Loud and clear, rich boy."
"Selina, did you hear anything about where Calendar Man has gone after today's murder?"
"All I know is that after you showed your face, he's been prepping for a big showdown. We all know that Julian isn't much of a fighter, so he's been paying a visit to some Venom dealers. Word on the street is that he's hired some muscle to protect him from the big bad Batman."
"We also know that he can't afford to pay his bodyguards."
"It takes more than money to get people to work for you, Zachariah. As for the goons that Calendar Man hired, they work for Bane, which means they're doing it for free."
"Bane wants to break the Batman, and now that I'm Batman, he wants to break me."
"So what now, Zach?"
"Are you at home, Selina?" Selina answers cheerfully. "But of course. It's Christmas Eve after all, and Bruce gave me the holiday off."
"All right. I'm coming to you."
Batman and Catwoman now stand on the rooftop of Catwoman's apartment building. Selina wears a black, skin-tight leather outfit with the middle of her front exposed. Batman can see that she is not wearing a bra. "Um, are you okay like that in this weather," asked Batman concerned. "Yeah, I'm good. So, any idea where to find Calendar Man," asked Catwoman. Batman's blue eyes glow brighter. "According to his psychic echo, he was last seen at Jezebel Plaza. We're going there to ask some questions." Just then, the Batwing hovers in front of them on the rooftop. The top hatch opens, allowing Batman and Catwoman to hop inside.
"So Zach, is Bruce letting you keep this?" Batman squints a little. "No." The top hatch closes, and the Batwing takes off. As the Batwing makes its flight across town, Catwoman taps Batman's shoulder. "Zach, where are you spending your holiday?" Batman looks over his shoulder. "What do you mean?" "I mean that you don't have an address, even though you're a billionaire, which by the way doesn't make any sense to me. Why would you willingly make yourself homeless?" Batman looks forward again. "When a person is rich, they let the money go to their heads. I don't have time to enjoy it because I am always working, whether it's after hours at Kincaid Industries or as Batman. A lot of temptation comes your way when you're rich: fancy car, big house, private golf course, but the problem is that if I buy all of that, I won't be able to share my wealth with Gotham. Just because I'm a billionaire doesn't mean that my money can't run out, unless you're Vanessa Luthor. Don't get me wrong; I do own a car for transportation, but my ultimate choice was simple: will I share my wealth with the people, or keep it to myself, and I chose to share it, which also meant I had to give up a life of luxury."
Catwoman speaks in a sympathetic voice now. "Zachariah, I had no idea what you were giving up. At first I thought you were crazy, but with what you just told me..." Catwoman places her hand on his shoulder, gripping it passionately. "Have Christmas dinner with me. Please." Batman looks back through the corner of his eye. "I'll be there, once this case is shut."
The Batwing lands at Jezebel Plaza, parking on the rooftop. Batman and Catwoman step over to the edge of the rooftop. Catwoman cautiously looks down as Batman stares across. "So how do we get down," asked Catwoman. Batman then picks her up and pops out his jet pack, flying down to the front door. "Oh," responds Catwoman. They land at the door, then Batman puts her down and retracts the jet pack. The two of them march inside, only to be greeted by gunfire. "Get down," shouts Batman as his back faces the enemy. He shields Catwoman as giant bat wings cover them both. The thug runs out of bullets, forcing Batman to turn around and hit him with a taser round, knocking him out. The bat wings disappear, and Batman and Catwoman walk past the barricade of crates set up.
"Talk about a warm welcome. I wonder if the rest of our trip will be like this," ponders Catwoman out loud. Batman looks at her, speaking in an impressed tone of voice. "You excited?" Catwoman smiles. "Hell yeah!"
In the security room on the 10th floor, Calendar Man peeks into the lobby via camera. He sits on the chair, wearing a black winter jacket and blue jeans with brown leather high-heeled boots. Julian is an obese man with a bald head with months written around his head and on his wrists. One of Bane's thugs enters the room and puts a syringe gun filled with Venom down on the desk. "So Mr. Day, I can trust that you can handle this, no," asked the Bane thug in a South American accent. "Yes, of course. Tell Bane that I am grateful for his help." Bane's thug opens the door, leaving. "It's Christmas, right?" He slams the door behind him. Calendar Man picks up the Venom gun and puts it in his pocket as he continues to watch the security monitor.
On the second floor, Catwoman and Batman are fighting off a small army of Bane's thugs. Using her bullwhip, Catwoman yanks one of them off his feet before jumping on him and scratching his face. Batman catches the foot of a thug who tried to kick him, then uppercuts him in the groin. With a cape stun, Batman dazes them before hitting them with taser rounds. Batman then grabs one of the thugs and uses psychometry. "Calendar Man is on the 10th floor! Let's go!"
Calendar Man sees the two adventurers making their way to the elevator. Batman hacks into the elevator controls through his nanotech. The elevator doors open, revealing that the elevator is further down the shaft. Batman takes Catwoman into his arms before forming a winged jet pack and flying up into the elevator shaft. Calendar Man speaks into the intercom. "Attention, men! Batman and Catwoman are coming to the 10th floor! Head them off at the elevator!" Bane's thugs surround the elevator shaft that Batman and Catwoman are in. They hold up M-16 rifles, waiting for their prey to arrive to gun them down like wild animals. A knock then comes from the doors, provoking them into unleashing a hail of bullets. They fire continuously, mercilessly, until they finally run out of rounds in their magazines. They all take them out and begin to reload, but then the elevator doors land on them. Batman and Catwoman emerge unharmed, thanks to Batman's nanotech covering Selina. A thug fires at Batman, but he punches him into the wall, knocking him out. Catwoman whips the others before doing a double-team beat down with Batman. The two of them then charge into an open room filled with stairs. The thugs in the room see them as Batman looks at Catwoman.
"I'll draw their fire. Try to get to the security room on the other side."
"Got it," said Catwoman. Batman grabs her shoulder and covers her with nanotech, then uses it to turn her invisible. Catwoman makes a run for it as Bane's thugs open fire on Batman. He uses super speed to knock out the thugs on the upper levels, then faces off with the ones below. As Batman fights them in the center of the room, Catwoman makes her way over to the security room. She makes herself visible again when she sees a Bane thug about to attack Batman from behind. She throws a bola at his feet and Batman catches wind of it as he turns around and punches him out. Batman catches up with Catwoman at the security room and the two of them walk inside.
Batman and Catwoman see Calendar Man standing before them, holding a syringe gun with a glowing green liquid. "Give up, Julian! It's over," said Batman. Calendar Man chuckles a bit as he turns his eyes to Catwoman. Calendar Man speaks in a cold voice. "Selina, are you expecting anything from your father this year?" Catwoman becomes upset. "What is that supposed to mean?" Batman speaks up in a serious voice. "Julian Gregory Day, I'm placing you under arrest for murder and terrorism. You are going back to Arkham Asylum."
"Did you think I didn't know you would come after me, Zachariah? You are Batman, after all. It was only a matter of time before the Gotham Police hired you to track me down." Calendar Man lifts his left sleeve and injects himself. Calendar Man begins to twitch back and forth. "Consider this your Christmas gift." His eyes glow green as his body fat is now replaced by pure muscle. He tears out of his clothes as he becomes a hulking abomination.
Catwoman and Batman are thrown through the walls of the office, landing on their backs. Since Selina is still wearing the nanotech, she was protected from the impact. Calendar Man leaps out of the security room and lands right in front of them, then grabs Batman and throws him against a pillar. Catwoman punches him twice before being smacked away. Batman gets up and fires a remote claw at Calendar Man. The claw sticks to him, then grabs a flammable tank nearby and hits him with it. Using super speed, he rams into Calendar Man, slamming him into the wall before charging his gloves. He glances at Catwoman, whose own gloves are now charged with electricity. She looks at her hands in realization.
"I get it. Shock gloves," said Catwoman. Calendar Man grabs Batman, wrapping his large hand around his throat, but Batman punches his arm, making him let go. Catwoman leaps over and charges her boots as well, landing shock kicks on Calendar Man. Calendar Man throws two jabs, but Batman and Catwoman both dodge and with two massive uppercuts, they knock him down. Batman and Catwoman then grab him and electrocute him to the point of a knock out. Calendar Man collapses and Catwoman seems unsure. "You know, if we turn him in, he could get out again and kill more people. What do you want to do, Zach?" Batman looks down at Calendar Man as the Venom wears off and he shrinks back, only he is now slim.
"We take him back to Arkham."
"So, ready to come to my place," asked Catwoman.
"Not yet. I have to stop somewhere first."
In Gotham Square, Zach sits on a Santa chair in front of a giant Christmas tree. He is wearing his Batsuit with his cowl off, putting his glasses back on. A little girl sits on his lap, smiling at him. "Mr. Batman, can you get me a Hello Kitty t-shirt for Christmas?" Zach smiles. "I'll see what I can do." The girl drops off of his lap and her mother approaches him. "It really would make her happy for Christmas. Thank you so much, Zachariah." Zach speaks earnestly, feeling satisfaction of the Christmas charity run he's doing. "It's not a problem, ma'am. I am just glad to help." The mother walks away with her daughter. Two people then approach Zach, an older man in a trench coat with a white suit shirt with gray slacks and black shoes. He has red hair with a mustache. Standing next to him is a shorter girl who also has red hair, only it's long and she wears glasses, just like her dad. She wears a gray-brown winter coat with a black Batman graphic t-shirt, blue jeans and white tennis shoes. James and Barbara Gordon smile as Barbara makes fun of him.
"Aw, how cute! It's Santa Claus Batman!" Zach chuckles. "Ha, ha, Babs!"
"We heard about the charity run you were doing in Gotham Square and decided to pay a visit. I wanted to congratulate you for apprehending Calendar Man."
"Your welcome, Commissioner."
"So Zach, how long will you be here tonight," asked Barbara.
"I'm here until midnight. It's 8:00PM now, so I still have four more hours." Suddenly, a familiar voice answers. "I'm sure Zachariah can handle it." Bruce Wayne approaches Zach's chair from behind Jim and Barbara. "Once again, you're giving up your free time to help others. Gotham needs more people like you, Zachariah," said Bruce smiling. "Thank you, Bruce."
"So what's a big shot like Bruce Wayne doing down here," asked Jim.
"Just passing through. I also wanted to give Zach my regards."
"Well, we better get going. Barbara won't stop bugging me about the sale at the mall," said Jim with Barbara pouting hilariously, "but dad, we won't be able to go tomorrow. It's Christmas." The Gordons take their leave and Bruce regains his stoic look, only a bit more sympathetic. "I mean it, Zachariah; Gotham needs more people like you." Zach nods in approval. "Thank you, Bruce."
Christmas morning
Selina sits alone in her living room, drinking a glass of egg nog. She hears a ring at her doorbell, causing her to put down her glass. Selina tightens the belt on her black houserobe as she answers the door. Selina opens the door, seeing Zach, Vanessa, Harley and Bruce standing there. "Merry Christmas," shouted all four of them. Selina lets them in, but what really surprises her is that Harley is with them.
The five of them sit at the table with Zach sitting to Vanessa's right, with Selina sitting between Bruce and Harley. Harley's face paint is gone, but she has her hair in its usual pigtails. She wears a black dress with black high heels. "So what are you all doing here, and why is Harley here," asked Selina. "Harley's behavior has improved lately. She has worked hard in the Suicide Squad, so Amanda allowed her to take the holiday off. Isn't that right, Harley," said Vanessa. Harley answers in an excited voice. "That's not the only reason I'm here. I came here because Selina is my friend." "Still, you've earned it these past few months, Harley," said Zach with Harley responding, "Only because of that guilt trip-whatever power you used on me, Zachy-poo." Zach sighs. "It's called Infinite Guilt, Harley, and all it did was show you the error of your ways. It was up to you to change your ways."
"So tell me, Selina, were you expecting any visitors besides us today," asked Bruce. Selina seems doubtful. "Sadly, no. In fact, I wasn't expecting anyone to show up, today." Harley cheerfully hugs Selina. "Well, you've got us now, kitty cat!"
And so, the five of them spent the day at Selina Kyle's apartment, drinking egg nog and exchanging Christmas stories. They watched Christmas movies such as A Christmas Carol and It's a Wonderful Life. Harley even brought a mistletoe, using it on Zach and Vanessa, but then just to tease Vanessa, Harley holds it over her head and Zach's, kissing Zach to make Vanessa jealous, even going as far as giving Zach her phone number. "Call me, handsome."
Selina received a number of presents from her friends: a sonar tracker from Bruce, an IHOP gift card with $1000 from Vanessa, a boxing glove gun from Harley, and from Zach... "This..."
Zach gave her one of the things she values the most: he gave her a blue diamond, Siamese cat figure. Selina knows that these things are worth a fortune and in the past, she tried to steal these, but now, having it in her possession and through legal means...
Selina runs outside and catches up with Zach. She hugs him tightly and kisses him on the cheek. "Oh thank you, thank you!" Selina then runs back inside, leaving the other three wondering. "So what did you give her, Zachariah," asked Bruce. "A diamond cat." Harley now looks at Zach in a flirtatious manner. "Hey B-man, you going to get me an awesome present, too?" Vanessa now gives Harley a dirty look. "Knock it off, clown."
Back at the Luthor Hotel, Vanessa has a Christmas dinner prepared for the residents there. She has several buffet tables set up for them in the dining hall. Vanessa sits across from Zach as they toast each other. Vanessa passionately kisses Zachariah across the table before slowly eating their food. "Merry Christmas, Zachariah." "Merry Christmas, Vanessa."
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