MAYBE
By: kalen1 (iceraqs@yahoo.com)
****************************************************************************
****************
Disclaimer:
The song MAYBE was not mine to own, though it was one of my favorite songs
not only because of its beat but the message as well as it is dedicated for
Black_Crimson. Who's he? Someone in the past. ._.'The composer of the
song and the first one who made it a hit, I forgot, Sorry. But it was
recently revived by a singer here in the Philippines named King (if you're
to ask what's with the name, I really don't know. Might ask who the singer,
if you'd like to know...) But I suggest for everyone to get a copy or
download the song 'coz it's really good. Promise.
Magic Knight Rayearth is not mine. It's own by none other than my fave CLAMP because all the anime they produced all rocks! It all rocks my world! Yeah! Especially MKR since I was still 11 yrs. old and I'm already 18. But in my dreams, I do own Lantis-sama. Love you!
This song-fic is dedicated to Eagle, another fave character of mine. Hey, I love Lantis first but I love Eagle, the second. I love Hikaru-Lantis pairing and I've made this song-fic because I'd like to get in depth of Eagle's character and his love for Hikaru...and uhm, the message of the song suits him very well, with his situation with Hikaru.
If you have any comments and reactions, I'd love to hear them, so please have your review after you've read the whole thing. It's what every writer needs.
And uhm, this is my first MKR fanfic, because this is the only time I feel like doing it—instead of imagining it inside my head only. Hehehehe!
Enjoy reading! ;-)
**************************************************************************** ****************
Eagle was scouting the castle of Cephiro, mindlessly scanning the whole area though not looking at anything in particular. He had been walking for some moments, though he is not in particular taking note of the time he had been walking around. His mind is drifting together with the cold wind passing by through the large windows that gently had his hair caressed carefully.
He had been staying in Cephiro for quiet some time since the day he fell asleep after the incident in the selection of the new pillar for Cephiro. Well, he had been staying in this foreign land more than that because he had the urge to take over Cephiro for the sake of Autozam. But during that time, he had been staying inside NSX planning carefully the things needed to be done.
And then, he had the chance to get in the castle and he was taken in as a prisoner. He had not been locked up inside the usual definition of a prison for him—with laser bars and all the handcuffs and everything. He was locked up inside a cold dark room with some magical barrier that won't let him to penetrate to do some 'destructive' things.
Well, he didn't intend to, he just wanted to scout the whole palace... Weird. I was scouting the palace as well as this very moment. He said to his self as continue on his walk with a small smile on his face. This is getting ridiculous.
And then, the very moment he had been waiting for. He was one of the people chosen to become the pillar. But his heart is not that strong, or so...so Mokona wanted him dead because that's how it has to be. Thanks to Hikaru, he is still alive and well.
His mind laugh at the thought and a huge grin was traced on his face, bigger than his smile before. If ever someone would come across opposite his way, this 'someone' would surely be confused seeing him smile without some good reason for smiling. Lucky for him, there is no one in sight as of that moment.
Hikaru...the Magic Knight of Fire, the purest beauty that he had ever laid his eyes on. The only woman that had captivated all his senses, even maybe his sixth sense if all his senses are an understatement of the word 'captivate' for this particular woman.
He had met so many women during his stay in Autozam. And not of being boastful, but he was also considered by everyone to be a heartthrob because of his handsome platinum and golden looks. Platinum for his hair and golden for his eyes. And many women had adorned him so much sending him letters, gifts, flowers, etc. Anything that those women could send to show him their deep affection for him. Not to mention, but these women are all beautiful sorts of women and also women of high status in the society. But in all of that, he just shrugged it off and let out his killer smile do the rest.
Well, during that time, his mind was only focused on capturing Cephiro—to save Autozam, his beloved home. So he kept his constant training together with his FTO to become stronger. He wanted everything to be perfect for that day of acquisition of the power of Cephiro.
Even Lantis, who is a born Cephirian and also his bestfriend, didn't stop him for his aspiration of saving Autozam. No one could cease him. No one. But everything had changed since he came here in this world. And he means everything...
But meeting Hikaru was a lot different. She was an attention-getter though in a busy noisy crowd, a pure soul before his dark world, the star that shines the brightest in the sky, the perfect woman that he thought only lives in hologram, the encapsulated princess inside a spaceship in the legend which he had been hearing since he's a kid, the blaming fire inside an icy mountain core, the smile that's like the sunlight that melts the ice cream that he loves to eat (...which the Magic Knights bring from time to time for them to eat...) which melt his hear slowly with so much happiness...everything that could define this woman...but it seems everything is an understatement. No words could define this knight that he...had fallen in love for such a long time. The woman named Hikaru.
"Hay..." He let out a soft sigh as he came to a complete stop. "I think I've been walking for quiet a long time now, neh?" He said as he saw a shadow moving to him. He looked up and saw a tall figure not so far—Lantis. "Ei, you're still awake!" He said with a smile.
"You're still awake too, Eagle. What have you been doing?" Lantis asked as he walks towards his friend with complete grace of a warrior. Ever since the fight all end, Lantis had dropped the black warrior outfit he had been wearing ever since. Now, he is wearing the white outfit of a knight. The warrior thing had been over—again, thanks to Hikaru.
"Um...not that much except for walking and talking to myself." Eagle said looking outside the window for a moment. "How about you? What have you done so far as this night had been?"
"Good." Lantis plainly said to his self as he walked away from Eagle as if he's trying to hide something. "I should leave you now." He said as he continues to walk away, not even looking back at his friend.
"Lantis...trying to hide something away from me, neh? Whatever you do, I would find it out in no time." Eagle said as he crossed his arms.
Lantis stopped momentarily and said, "I'm sure..." And then, off he goes again disappearing in the dark corridor.
"Always the secretive type, neh?" He said not minding if Lantis had heard him or not. He just felt like saying it out. And then he continues his scout of the corridor, going opposite Lantis' way. He hadn't felt like talking to him either. He might find about it in the morning. But not this time. He's mind is occupied of other things...he decided to keep on his thoughts about Hikaru.
After that 'wage war', he had fallen into deep sleep, renovating his health and his soul, which Fuu defined in their Earthly terms as 'coma'. This had had him to sleep to bed in Cephiro as Guru Clef, Cephiro's master mage, kept constant watch of him. And thanks to his power, though he's asleep, he could still talk to everyone and express whatever he wanted to say.
And what's so blissful about that was he could still be able to talk to Hikaru who always visits him whenever she has time. She told him that he could only visit him every weekend since that is the only time they're free in school. And in after a year and a half, he woke up with Hikaru on his side, with a smile on her face seeing him awake once again. And this made his heart, jump in joy. Seeing her smile feels like he had been able to reach farthest star in the galaxy because he had grown wings on his back. Nah, wings are much better fitted to Hikaru...she was an angel.
Angel...hmm...another Earthling term. He had been using Earthling terms far more than the usual. Oh well... He said to his self. He had heard the term angel from Umi, one time when she is having some story telling to everyone about angels—beautiful innocent and pure creatures who serves God, the Almighty creator in the Earthlings point of view. They were creatures that guard the people on Earth from any harm. They inspire people and they encourage them to do good and righteous decisions. They send words as messengers and news from God for the people. Some say they also serve as conscience for people.
Eagle stopped once again looking at the night sky with the moon and the stars shining brightly. The night is so peaceful and the wind is has the soothing effect. Hay, Hikaru is my angel. She is the one who brought inspiration in my life other than my mecha world. Hikaru... He said to his self with a smile on his face as he shut his eyes and imagines Hikaru's face.
"Hey, Eagle. Still awake, I see." A voice crossed his senses and he turned around and saw Ferio standing near him. "You're reflexes are getting shoddier now. You didn't even notice me walking near to you. You've been thinking so deeply tonight, neh?" Ferio said with a smile as Eagle had his back rest on the wall.
"Yeah, I guess I've doing a lot of talking-thinking to myself nowadays." Eagle said with a smile with his eyes shut and his hands inside his pocket.
"Hmm...that's not healthy, Eagle. You should have someone to confide on." Ferio said with a worried tone of voice.
"And who could that be? Lantis' pre-occupied and you? I guess not. I don't want to disrupt the mind of the king of Cephiro and the husband of a Magic Knight, specifically the Magic Knight of Wind, Fuu."
Ferio let out a soft smile on his face. "Yah. I bet so about Lantis, that old guy doesn't talk that much you know. I even wonder how you and Hikaru are able to talk to him with his one-liner reactions or answers and everything..." Ferio said as he rested his arms on the railings of the huge window as his eyes maneuver in the sleeping splendor of Cephiro.
"If Lantis hears you now, I bet he'll strangle you to death because you told him he's old." Eagle said with a smirk as he imagines his friend's face being told as an old guy. "I can't talk to Lantis right now...that's just it." Eagle said seriously as Ferio stared at him seriously. Suddenly, Eagle shifted the mood and said, "So, enough of this talk about me, how'd you find your married life so far?" Eagle said with a smirk on his face.
Ferio's worried face turned into a smiling face as Eagle mentioned the name of Fuu. "Now that you have mentioned it, I feel actually good being married with Fuu. It's just the feeling is indescribable but I bet it's the right thing that I did because it actually feels right being married to her. Oh boy! I feel like the luckiest man in the whole universe because of her!"
"Universe, huh? You've been using a lot of Earthling terms nowadays, your majesty." Eagle said with a smile. Just like me...
"Nah, enough of that formal title, Eagle. You are also a prince considering your position in Autozam." Eagle laughs after hearing this but didn't react any further. Ferio decided to continue speaking. "About the Earthling terms...I can't help it. I've been reading a lot and whenever I feel bored, I just snatch some of the books that Fuu have to take away all of my boredom." Ferio said with a smile. "She had changed a lot of me, I must admit."
"I can see that well..." Eagle said. "Reading a lot of papers and documents about a country is really boring and it makes your temples breaking apart. I've been through that too. That's why when my father had sent me here, I grabbed the opportunity just to excuse myself in further boredom in office work. It's just not me."
"I know." Ferio said with a smile on his face. "About what I'm talking a while ago..." Ferio's face turned into serious mode as Eagle gave a pout on his face, which Ferio missed to see, hearing the topic about him once again. He just hates talking about his personal dilemmas and everything. "Wanna talk about it? Is it because of Lantis? I know Lantis is getting too close to Hikaru and..."
Eagle, before breaking apart, turned his back and without looking at Ferio, he said in his happy tone of voice, "Don't worry yourself too much about me, dear King of Cephiro. You got a planet to think of and a wife to take care of." He said as he completely disappears in the dark. Why can't they just forget about me even for just a second? I'm not a kid for them to take care of! I'm a man! And why does he have to mention about Hikaru and Lantis again?!
He hates it. He hates it whenever someone would mention that something special is forming between the two—something deep and special. But he didn't have any grudges especially to Lantis. How could he hate his bestfriend when he has also fallen in love with the same girl that he has fallen in love with? It's not a sin to be in love. And besides, Hikaru's not his, as of this moment, for him to hate any man who has special affection to her.
What he actually hates is the fact that this 'something special' is eating and feasting his heart into deep slumber. He loves Hikaru and...Yes, I feel jealous! I know that's the reason why I'm mad. He said to his self as he stopped once again shutting his eyes. I love Hikaru so much that I feel like losing her...
"Eagle, you're still awake?" A voice was once heard again. This time, he knew that upon hearing this voice, his heart leaps in joy. And without opening his eyes, he smiled and said, "That's the third time I've been reminded that I was still awake, Hikaru..."
"Maybe because it's already past midnight and you're still awake." She said with a smile as Eagle opens his eyes and stared at the fiery redhead knight before him. Hikaru is wearing a long white nightgown that extends to his ankle but with a short sleeve exposing her thin and white arms. Her hair was loose from the braid but is beautifully combed extending to her back. God, she's so beautiful... He said to his self as he felt losing to the beautiful crimson eyes of Hikaru.
"I can't believe that you guys were able to have the people here adopt the time frame that you had in your world, Hikaru." Eagle said as he approaches her.
"Thanks to you because you were the one who analyzed if it could be use here in Cephiro." Hikaru said. But to Eagle's ears, she seems to be singing for him...or was he just over exaggerating...
"That was nothing." Eagle said trying to take his daze off to Hikaru, reminding himself of the limited actions he could do. "So, why are you still awake, Princess Hikaru?" Eagle asked as he knelt down before her and kisses her hand. And right after kissing her hand, he stood not wanting to miss the usual blush that Hikaru has on her face whenever he does that to her.
"Mou, Eagle. I told you to stop calling me that! I'm not a pillar in Cephiro anymore. I'm just an ordinary person here..."
"Not to me." Eagle said with a sweet smile once again. Not the usual smile that he gives to people or to women he meets but the loving smile that he only saves for the woman that he is bounded to love and that is Hikaru. Hikaru's blush deepens and Eagle fought the urge of laughing, not because of finding it silly for her to blush but because of the joy she is bringing to his heart with those reactions she gives out to his simple actions towards her.
So before he could let Hikaru turn her back away from him because of complete embarrassment, Eagle started asking once again. "So, tell me. Why are you still awake, my princess?" He asked.
"I asked you first." Hikaru let out a pout on her face, still trying not to look at Eagle.
Eagle smiled at the scene before him. Hikaru, you're such fragile thing. He said to his self. "Well, I was just thinking on how you Magic Knights were doing. Are you really sure you wanted to stay here in Cephiro. I mean wouldn't your families be worried about you staying here?" Eagle asked seriously.
Hikaru turned her back, not because she wanted to get away from Eagle. Her arms at her back and her feet almost playing with the cold marbled floor. "I'm sure they would but we're already on the right age of choosing what's best for us and this is what's best for us."
There I was waiting for a chance
"That's good to hear." Eagle said. And that's the best decision for me as well, Hikaru. I wanted you stay here and I wanted to be with you, Hikaru. Besides, this is the best moment for me. I know you have over-protective brothers and I'm ready to face them all for you Hikaru...just for the chance of loving you, I'd do anything even if I have to face death once again. Eagle almost said out loud to her but fought the temptation as he watches her tip-toeing with the floor.
Without any hesitation, Eagle approached Hikaru and to her amazement, he started lifting her to his arms. "E—Eagle, what are you doing?!" Hikaru asked with the usual blush at her face.
"I really love it when you blush, Hikaru." Eagle teased with a smile on his face. Especially when you're blushing for me, Hikaru...
"Mou, Eagle! Drop me down!" Hikaru yelled but did not fought too well.
Hoping that you'll understand
"I don't want to." Eagle said as he walks away from the spot carrying the woman he love on his arms. "I love the feeling of carrying you on my arms, my beloved princess." Eagle said seriously. "Besides, the cold marbled floor is no match for your dainty feet. I hate to see you getting sick, you know. It's better that I be sick, but not you." Hikaru, I know that you know that I love you deeply. You know that well...but why can't you understand everything that I'm doing. I know you're not a child anymore...you're not that same Hikaru I've known 'coz you have grown so much to a lovely woman that I have always imagined that you should be. Or was it because you still have that juvenile heart that had captivated my heart in the beginning?
The things I wanna to say
"E—Eagle..." Hikaru called out faintly.
I want to say it all out loud, Hikaru. I wanted to say everything that I had been thinking. If only I was still in coma and you're visiting me then my mind is open up and everything that my head has been screaming about could be heard by you. No, not only my head's screaming but most especially, my heart's screaming, yearning for you, my Hikaru. I love you so much Hikaru...
Moments after, the two remained quiet as Eagle walks in the dark alley. Hikaru is quietly snuggling to Eagle feeling the cold covering all over her body.
This is so perfect... Eagle thought. Tonight, he had decided. After so much of a thought, he decided that he is going to end all his miseries for this night—he is going to propose to Hikaru. He can't wait any longer.
"So tell me, what have you been doing in Cephiro for all these years?" Eagle started asking. "After all, it's been such a long time since the fight for the pillar occurred."
"Yeah. It's been a long time." Hikaru started burying her face underneath.
"There's no need to worry about that anymore. It's the past and we're already living in for a good future. And everyone is quiet well and happy on their own." Eagle said out loud. "And I'm also alive and here taking you on my arms, my dear princess. So tell me, what have you been doing on Earth?"
As my love that's stronger than before
"Well, Fuu is already a doctor. She just needs some specialization but still she's already a doctor." Hikaru started as Eagle blinked continuously. Hikaru read somehow on Eagle's reaction that she needs some explanation. "Well, a doctor is the one who tries to save people's lives by healing them from their sickness." Hikaru explained as Eagle nod his head. "Umi was a first-class chef. A cook, in short. She's working in large hotels. Hotels are large buildings, like an inn, only it have so many floors and, yeah, basically, it's like an inn."
"And you?" Eagle asked seriously.
"Well, I was a policewoman. The one who keeps peace and order and chase bad guys and imprison them. We also help the people to save them in danger."
"Just like a warrior, a knight." Eagle commented. "But I'm sure, maintaining peace and order in your world is much different than doing it here. I bet it's far more dangerous, neh?" He asked.
"Well, kinda." Hikaru sweatdrop. "That's why I quitted the job because my brothers wouldn't stop screaming because of my job, though my officers told I was doing well. I can't do anything about it. I can't work when my brothers are around guarding me."
"I bet they do. But you know what, if I was there too, and you have that job, I swear I'd do the same thing too." Eagle said with a smile.
"Eagle, you're not helping at all." Hikaru said with another pout.
"Hahahaha! Gomen Hikaru." He said apologetically.
"And then I became a model, the one who poses for clothes to be bought by people. But then, again, my brothers don't like the job again because they said I was wearing revealing clothes. And they don't like people seeing me that way."
"I'd love to see you in those revealing clothes. I wish I had known the way on Earth long before your third trip so I could have watch you wearing those somewhat intriguing clothes. How revealing are they?" Eagle asked as Hikaru hit him gently on his back. Eagle just gave out a laugh. "Just kidding."
"It doesn't sound like a joke." Hikaru said. "Here we are." Eagle proclaimed as he stood before the large door of Hikaru's room. "Right at your haven..."
"Oh, you can drop me here, Eagle. I—" Hikaru said as she tried to go down from Eagle's arms. But the latter did not let Hikaru and instead opened the door and went straight inside. "Eagle?!"
Eagle shut the door and walked straight towards Hikaru's large bed. "I don't want to drop you on the floor, Hikaru. I told you, cold marbled floor has no..."
"...match for my dainty feet. Yeah, you already said that." Hikaru said with a smile as Eagle gently drop her on the bed.
I wanna see you more and more
"Now, my fair lady, shall I start combing your hair or hum you some lullabies for you to be able to sleep." Eagle said kneeling infront of Hikaru.
"Hesh." Hikaru said smiling at Eagle. "You always tease me, Eagle. I'm not that fourteen year old girl, you know."
Eagle stared at Hikaru and no words came out of his mouth. He was thinking again about Hikaru, eventhough she is just infront of him. The Magic Knights have came back to stay permanently in Cephiro, to cherish their lives with the people they love. Fuu and Ferio are already married and are both ruling the whole planet. Umi and Guru Clef are also bounded, in human terms, engaged, and their marriage is soon to celebrate. But the question is: who is Hikaru staying for? Was it he or was it Lantis? She hasn't decided on it yet or was she not telling anyone yet? The questions that lingers on Eagle's head. Whatever is her decision, just like Lantis, he would still find it out in no time...
Wait...find it out in no time... Eagle trembled upon the thought. Was it because... Eagle stared at Hikaru who almost fell asleep on his arms. No. She hasn't decided yet, I guess...I should stop thinking about it. This is not the right time of thinking about it. Besides, I have already made some arrangement and I believe that tonight would be the best night of my life...right Hikaru? Eagle wanted to ask out loud to Hikaru but failed as he fears for what answers that Hikaru holds on her mouth—a relief to his weary heart or further rupture on his heart.
"Eagle?" Hikaru asked as she put her hand on Eagle's forehead. "Are you sick? You don't seem to have any fever..."
Eagle, seemingly back from reality after hearing Hikaru's voice, said, "I'm alright, Hikaru. I'm not sick."
"Glad to hear th—" Hikaru said with a smile only stopped as Eagle had his lips pressed on her lips and gently push her unto the bed. He locked her tight in his arms as he tasted the lips of woman she love and long for years.
After a few moments, Eagle broke the kiss with Hikaru stunned to what just happened. He smiled and said, "You're right. You're not that fourteen year old girl that I—"
He was now the one stunned as a hard blow from Hikaru's hand landed on his cheeks. But that hard blow on his face did not hurt as much as it had hurt his heart. Hikaru...
"Why did you do it, Eagle?" She asked almost crying. Eagle, almost broke down seeing Hikaru crying. He doesn't want to see Hikaru crying, especially if the tears are caused by him. Her tears are like an acid that slowly destroy his being in excruciating pain.
"I—I'm sorry, Hikaru." Eagle said out loud. "I'm sorry." He said hiding the pain underneath his platinum bangs. Does that mean? Hikaru...you...have already chosen...Lantis...over me?
But you closed your door
"Eagle, I have something to say. that—that's why I was out in the middle of the night. I was looking for you..." Hikaru said as she had her hands clasped on her heart. "About Lantis and me...I have decided..."
"Hikaru, I don't want to hear it." Eagle said out loud. Hikaru stopped seeing Eagle's darkened expression.
"E—Eagle..." She called out as her hands reach out on him.
Eagle stood and walked towards the door. She had already closed her heart from me... "Hikaru, you've just turned twenty-one, a beautiful woman that I have always imagined even while I was asleep. Just the right woman that I have always long for...the woman that I have been loving for all these years, for all these time. And maybe for all eternity..." He said with a smile but almost her voice is crackling avoiding the future outburst of his emotion.
Why don't you try
To open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time
"Hikaru, you've...you've decided too soon...have you ever consider of taking a little while before...before...this?" Eagle asked, standing still. "Would it even hurt just for you to think about it again for some time? Maybe, you could somehow change..."
"I know. I know it was too sudden. We just came back from Earth after all these years but...but while I was still on Earth, I was thinking. I was thinking of how I really feel...about you and Lantis. And I swear that I've thought it over and over again...it's just the same thing..." Hikaru said, her head tilted down looking straight at her hands in clasped on her lap. "E—Eagle, I never meant to hurt you. Please, I never want to see anyone suffering because of me. Especially, you, Eagle...please..." Hikaru called out. "But please just let it go...I want you to be happy, as well, Eagle."
I believe what you said to me
We should set each other free
That is how you want it to be
Eagle let out a loud laugh echoing all throughout the room. "How...how can you say that I just let it go...are you telling me to take all my feelings? Do you know what it's like to let it go, Hikaru?" Eagle asked, still not looking at her. "The only way that I could let it go is either by killing me or just by taking all my emotions, my heart! Because I know even if I have all my memories erased, I would still continue loving you, Hikaru! How...how could you say that to me?"
"Eagle, I'm sorry. But I...I know it would hurt you a lot...but it is much better to tell this to you this time because I think if it'd take sooner...the sooner I tell you about this, the more painful it is for you to accept. And I just want what's best for everyone, Eagle...and this is what I believe is what's best for you...for the two of us...Eagle."
"Hikaru, is there any way that you could return my love for you?" Eagle asked plainly.
Hikaru did not answer right after then but after a while, "No. I can't. I know in my heart. I love Lantis. I love you too, Eagle but it was more of a friendly...like a brother...like what I felt towards the first guy that I have a crush on...but Lantis...I know I love him most...Eagle."
"You'll never love me back, Hikaru. You'll never do." Eagle said as he slowly started walking towards the door. "I know my love is strong...and I know that I would do anything for this love...for you...but you'll never return the same passion, the same depth of love I have towards you, Hikaru." Eagle stopped infront of the door. "But...it would be stupid to say that it's okay. I won't lie. It hurts a lot. It hurts and it is slowly eating my whole being...because of the truth..."
Hikaru stood from the bed and walked towards Eagle with tears on her face. "Eagle..."
"No. Stop there, Hikaru. I don't want you to comfort me. I may forgot me sane mind once you would comfort and I might do the unthinkable and I know it would hurt you a lot and it would hurt me more seeing you in so much pain." Eagle said as he touched the door knob. "Listen. Before I came into your presence, I was thinking of proposing to you. And I was thinking you would say 'yes' to me and I thought if ever you won't, I've decided that I'd go back to Autozam as soon as possible." And I was lying to myself...I had no plans if ever you'd reject me...
"Eagle..." Hikaru called out once again.
"Do not worry about me. I wouldn't face you again after this night, Hikaru. Maybe some day. Some day when all the pain in my heart have been...some day when I could truly tell you how happy I am seeing you happy...though in the arms of another man...I wish you well Hikaru...I know Lantis would never hurt you. He loves you as much as I do, Hikaru." Eagle said as he went out the door.
Right after closing the door, Eagle ran. He ran and ran without looking back nor looking at his way. He just ran with tears flowing from his eyes. How could I act like such a cry baby?! I've said I'm a man but here I am, crying because the woman I love rejected me?! I'm such an idiot! Eagle, you're an idiot!!!
"E—Eagle..." A voice called out almost infront of him and Eagle bumped hard unto that person that the two feel stumbling on the floor. "What the hell are you doing, Eagle?!" The man said rubbing his butt out of pain. "Goodness! Can't you somehow recall your sub-commander, at least?! God! It's me, Geo! E—Eag...?!" Geo called out and saw Eagle not standing but was sobbing on the floor. Geo stood and gathered the devastated Eagle on his arms. "Eagle? What happened?"
Eagle snuggled to Geo and continued to cry. Geo just stared at his commander and friend with all pity as he supported his head using his arm. He did not speak but he just continued to cry as if his eyes are filled with gallons of tears and he was holding the ocean water right through at his head. Later on, he felt weak and dizzy as his senses fell into blackness.
"U...ugh..." Eagle slowly opened his eyes but find himself almost blinded by the strong light. He rose up and somehow adjusted his vision and saw himself inside his room, his usual room in NSX.
"It's good you're already awake. Now we could do all the talking!" Geo's voice crossed his ears and he turned his head seeing him sitting on a cushion nearby with a jar of candies on his hand. "I'm sorry if I had to put you to sleep since I've guessed during that time that you'd cry all night and I know I should bring you back here but I can't let the commander of NSX arrive crying like a cry-baby. What honor would be left to you once the crew sees you in that state?"
"Yeah. I was also stunned seeing you unconscious on Geo's arms last night. I thought someone had attacked the castle or you had your sickness back again. I was so worried not until this old jerk guy told me and it took me a while before I had him spit it out!" Zazu said giving a sharp look at Geo.
"Shut up." Geo growled as the two exchanged sharp look at one another.
Eagle then broke into laughter seeing the scene between the two. He was holding his stomach as he broken into a loud laughter. The two men stopped exchanging glares and just stared at Eagle and then they both exchange look—of confusion because of Eagle's action.
"Eagle, you okay?" Zazu asked blinking his eyes.
"Hahahaha! I—I'm sor—ry. I—I just can't...help it! Both of you are so funny!!!" Eagle broke once again into laughter. "I'm really sorry. Ahahahaha!!!"
"Shesh. Just a stupid thing and you're laugh. You're like a kid, Eagle." Geo commented as he hid his red face underneath his hand.
"I know I was such a kid. And you always have to watch over me, Geo. Ever since..." Eagle said stopping from laughing and curling to his knees and hiding his face with his hair. "That's why I suck in love because I can't be a man..."
Geo and Zazu stared at one another as they have guessed what's bothering Eagle. "Eagle, you're so transparent." Zazu reacted. "So, she has chosen Lantis..." Zazu said as Geo gave him a hard blow on his head. "WHAT?! Whaddya do that for?! That hurts a lot, you know?!"
"You really don't have to state what's obvious!!!" Geo growled.
"Nah. There's nothing to be worried at. Yeah, she did. I just..." Eagle smiled.
"Hay...Oy, Zazu, let's go. We need to leave this cry baby here..." Geo said as he fixed himself to leave. Zazu obeyed and walked before Geo and left before him. "I'm leaving my bottle of candies here in case you want to have some. Well, you can have some but not all of them, alright?" He said as he turned his back and faced the door.
"Geo." Eagle called out
"Tell me...was what...was it wrong?" Eagle asked looking straight at nothingness. "Was my love wrong? Or have I love the wrong one? Or have I love the wrong time? Or was it just because she really doesn't belong to me?"
Geo stared at his friend and then turned his back but before stepping out of the room, he said, "I've also asked that when I fell inlove with the princess of Chizeta...but you know what? I really don't care if it's wrong. What I know is I know it is just right, how I feel. Because in love, there's no such thing as wrong and right. It's just pure love." He said as the door shut down leaving Eagle alone once again.
"Silly me. I was really thinking stupid." Eagle said to his self as he stood and reached out of a portrait on a table by his bed. It was Hikaru's picture that she gave to her as a gift when he woke up years ago.
Maybe it's wrong to say please love me too
'Coz I know you'll never do
"I know I can't just plead for your love because it can't be subjected to orders, orders that I am used to deliver to those people here in NSX which they follow diligently. You're not a crew of my heart, Hikaru. And no matter what I do, you'd never love me back...not as much as I love you..."
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
"Lantis is there. He loves you so much and I know he's ready to give up his life for you. I know he deserves someone like you and you...you deserve him as well. And more than that, you love him...you love him more than you do for me..."
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Coz I know he's here to stay
"Hey, Geo." Eagle called out as he pressed a communication button.
"Huwat is it?" Geo asked. "Don't tell me you've already eaten the whole jar?! I'll fry you alive if you did!"
"Let's go back home." He said with a bitter smile.
"WHAT?!" Geo's voice echoed. "B—but..."
"Come on. The princess of Chizeta won't be not until the next three months! Let's go home. I've just read a letter from my monster-like sister. She wants me home for her birthday. You know I'd hate to disappoint her."
"You sure?" Geo's voice asked with a worried tone.
"Hey, we would come back. It's not like we're going to leave for forever! Start up the engine right away." Eagle ordered.
"Uh...Lantis sent a message...he was...Hikaru's worried about you." Geo's voice echoed as Eagle froze. "E—Eagle???"
"I'm okay. Tell her, I'd be at her wedding, at least at the doorway. And tell her that we're coming home because of my sister. And tell Lantis...I can't stay for a while. I don't want to disrupt the future wedding. And...I'm watching his back, so he should cool off with that cold attitude of him and don't he dare make her cry 'coz I'm going to skin him alive." Eagle said with a smile as he gently had the picture frame on a side. "Got that?"
"Roger. I'm sending the message to Lantis right away." Geo answered. "Now, let's go home."
"Home." Eagle said as he dropped his body on a chair as he cut the communication between him and Geo. "Hikaru, I wish for your happiness..."
I know to whom you should belong
**************************************************************************** **************** Reviews are well appreciated. Whaddya think? Did I suck at my first MKR fic? Please do tell me. I'd really wanna know...I beg you... *author's kneeling and pleading* I don't know if I did some justice to Eagle's character and hey I really didn't see him that mama's-boy type or the cry-baby type as a whole I was just pinpointing how vulnerable he seems when he is in his most depressing moment. Well, I'd always see him as the guy who always smile, gives jokes, one who'd give way for people's happiness though it hurts him so much, the one who doesn't want as much as he could avoid had others worry for him and the one who'd always hide the pain in his heart...that's why I love this guy.
Magic Knight Rayearth is not mine. It's own by none other than my fave CLAMP because all the anime they produced all rocks! It all rocks my world! Yeah! Especially MKR since I was still 11 yrs. old and I'm already 18. But in my dreams, I do own Lantis-sama. Love you!
This song-fic is dedicated to Eagle, another fave character of mine. Hey, I love Lantis first but I love Eagle, the second. I love Hikaru-Lantis pairing and I've made this song-fic because I'd like to get in depth of Eagle's character and his love for Hikaru...and uhm, the message of the song suits him very well, with his situation with Hikaru.
If you have any comments and reactions, I'd love to hear them, so please have your review after you've read the whole thing. It's what every writer needs.
And uhm, this is my first MKR fanfic, because this is the only time I feel like doing it—instead of imagining it inside my head only. Hehehehe!
Enjoy reading! ;-)
**************************************************************************** ****************
Eagle was scouting the castle of Cephiro, mindlessly scanning the whole area though not looking at anything in particular. He had been walking for some moments, though he is not in particular taking note of the time he had been walking around. His mind is drifting together with the cold wind passing by through the large windows that gently had his hair caressed carefully.
He had been staying in Cephiro for quiet some time since the day he fell asleep after the incident in the selection of the new pillar for Cephiro. Well, he had been staying in this foreign land more than that because he had the urge to take over Cephiro for the sake of Autozam. But during that time, he had been staying inside NSX planning carefully the things needed to be done.
And then, he had the chance to get in the castle and he was taken in as a prisoner. He had not been locked up inside the usual definition of a prison for him—with laser bars and all the handcuffs and everything. He was locked up inside a cold dark room with some magical barrier that won't let him to penetrate to do some 'destructive' things.
Well, he didn't intend to, he just wanted to scout the whole palace... Weird. I was scouting the palace as well as this very moment. He said to his self as continue on his walk with a small smile on his face. This is getting ridiculous.
And then, the very moment he had been waiting for. He was one of the people chosen to become the pillar. But his heart is not that strong, or so...so Mokona wanted him dead because that's how it has to be. Thanks to Hikaru, he is still alive and well.
His mind laugh at the thought and a huge grin was traced on his face, bigger than his smile before. If ever someone would come across opposite his way, this 'someone' would surely be confused seeing him smile without some good reason for smiling. Lucky for him, there is no one in sight as of that moment.
Hikaru...the Magic Knight of Fire, the purest beauty that he had ever laid his eyes on. The only woman that had captivated all his senses, even maybe his sixth sense if all his senses are an understatement of the word 'captivate' for this particular woman.
He had met so many women during his stay in Autozam. And not of being boastful, but he was also considered by everyone to be a heartthrob because of his handsome platinum and golden looks. Platinum for his hair and golden for his eyes. And many women had adorned him so much sending him letters, gifts, flowers, etc. Anything that those women could send to show him their deep affection for him. Not to mention, but these women are all beautiful sorts of women and also women of high status in the society. But in all of that, he just shrugged it off and let out his killer smile do the rest.
Well, during that time, his mind was only focused on capturing Cephiro—to save Autozam, his beloved home. So he kept his constant training together with his FTO to become stronger. He wanted everything to be perfect for that day of acquisition of the power of Cephiro.
Even Lantis, who is a born Cephirian and also his bestfriend, didn't stop him for his aspiration of saving Autozam. No one could cease him. No one. But everything had changed since he came here in this world. And he means everything...
But meeting Hikaru was a lot different. She was an attention-getter though in a busy noisy crowd, a pure soul before his dark world, the star that shines the brightest in the sky, the perfect woman that he thought only lives in hologram, the encapsulated princess inside a spaceship in the legend which he had been hearing since he's a kid, the blaming fire inside an icy mountain core, the smile that's like the sunlight that melts the ice cream that he loves to eat (...which the Magic Knights bring from time to time for them to eat...) which melt his hear slowly with so much happiness...everything that could define this woman...but it seems everything is an understatement. No words could define this knight that he...had fallen in love for such a long time. The woman named Hikaru.
"Hay..." He let out a soft sigh as he came to a complete stop. "I think I've been walking for quiet a long time now, neh?" He said as he saw a shadow moving to him. He looked up and saw a tall figure not so far—Lantis. "Ei, you're still awake!" He said with a smile.
"You're still awake too, Eagle. What have you been doing?" Lantis asked as he walks towards his friend with complete grace of a warrior. Ever since the fight all end, Lantis had dropped the black warrior outfit he had been wearing ever since. Now, he is wearing the white outfit of a knight. The warrior thing had been over—again, thanks to Hikaru.
"Um...not that much except for walking and talking to myself." Eagle said looking outside the window for a moment. "How about you? What have you done so far as this night had been?"
"Good." Lantis plainly said to his self as he walked away from Eagle as if he's trying to hide something. "I should leave you now." He said as he continues to walk away, not even looking back at his friend.
"Lantis...trying to hide something away from me, neh? Whatever you do, I would find it out in no time." Eagle said as he crossed his arms.
Lantis stopped momentarily and said, "I'm sure..." And then, off he goes again disappearing in the dark corridor.
"Always the secretive type, neh?" He said not minding if Lantis had heard him or not. He just felt like saying it out. And then he continues his scout of the corridor, going opposite Lantis' way. He hadn't felt like talking to him either. He might find about it in the morning. But not this time. He's mind is occupied of other things...he decided to keep on his thoughts about Hikaru.
After that 'wage war', he had fallen into deep sleep, renovating his health and his soul, which Fuu defined in their Earthly terms as 'coma'. This had had him to sleep to bed in Cephiro as Guru Clef, Cephiro's master mage, kept constant watch of him. And thanks to his power, though he's asleep, he could still talk to everyone and express whatever he wanted to say.
And what's so blissful about that was he could still be able to talk to Hikaru who always visits him whenever she has time. She told him that he could only visit him every weekend since that is the only time they're free in school. And in after a year and a half, he woke up with Hikaru on his side, with a smile on her face seeing him awake once again. And this made his heart, jump in joy. Seeing her smile feels like he had been able to reach farthest star in the galaxy because he had grown wings on his back. Nah, wings are much better fitted to Hikaru...she was an angel.
Angel...hmm...another Earthling term. He had been using Earthling terms far more than the usual. Oh well... He said to his self. He had heard the term angel from Umi, one time when she is having some story telling to everyone about angels—beautiful innocent and pure creatures who serves God, the Almighty creator in the Earthlings point of view. They were creatures that guard the people on Earth from any harm. They inspire people and they encourage them to do good and righteous decisions. They send words as messengers and news from God for the people. Some say they also serve as conscience for people.
Eagle stopped once again looking at the night sky with the moon and the stars shining brightly. The night is so peaceful and the wind is has the soothing effect. Hay, Hikaru is my angel. She is the one who brought inspiration in my life other than my mecha world. Hikaru... He said to his self with a smile on his face as he shut his eyes and imagines Hikaru's face.
"Hey, Eagle. Still awake, I see." A voice crossed his senses and he turned around and saw Ferio standing near him. "You're reflexes are getting shoddier now. You didn't even notice me walking near to you. You've been thinking so deeply tonight, neh?" Ferio said with a smile as Eagle had his back rest on the wall.
"Yeah, I guess I've doing a lot of talking-thinking to myself nowadays." Eagle said with a smile with his eyes shut and his hands inside his pocket.
"Hmm...that's not healthy, Eagle. You should have someone to confide on." Ferio said with a worried tone of voice.
"And who could that be? Lantis' pre-occupied and you? I guess not. I don't want to disrupt the mind of the king of Cephiro and the husband of a Magic Knight, specifically the Magic Knight of Wind, Fuu."
Ferio let out a soft smile on his face. "Yah. I bet so about Lantis, that old guy doesn't talk that much you know. I even wonder how you and Hikaru are able to talk to him with his one-liner reactions or answers and everything..." Ferio said as he rested his arms on the railings of the huge window as his eyes maneuver in the sleeping splendor of Cephiro.
"If Lantis hears you now, I bet he'll strangle you to death because you told him he's old." Eagle said with a smirk as he imagines his friend's face being told as an old guy. "I can't talk to Lantis right now...that's just it." Eagle said seriously as Ferio stared at him seriously. Suddenly, Eagle shifted the mood and said, "So, enough of this talk about me, how'd you find your married life so far?" Eagle said with a smirk on his face.
Ferio's worried face turned into a smiling face as Eagle mentioned the name of Fuu. "Now that you have mentioned it, I feel actually good being married with Fuu. It's just the feeling is indescribable but I bet it's the right thing that I did because it actually feels right being married to her. Oh boy! I feel like the luckiest man in the whole universe because of her!"
"Universe, huh? You've been using a lot of Earthling terms nowadays, your majesty." Eagle said with a smile. Just like me...
"Nah, enough of that formal title, Eagle. You are also a prince considering your position in Autozam." Eagle laughs after hearing this but didn't react any further. Ferio decided to continue speaking. "About the Earthling terms...I can't help it. I've been reading a lot and whenever I feel bored, I just snatch some of the books that Fuu have to take away all of my boredom." Ferio said with a smile. "She had changed a lot of me, I must admit."
"I can see that well..." Eagle said. "Reading a lot of papers and documents about a country is really boring and it makes your temples breaking apart. I've been through that too. That's why when my father had sent me here, I grabbed the opportunity just to excuse myself in further boredom in office work. It's just not me."
"I know." Ferio said with a smile on his face. "About what I'm talking a while ago..." Ferio's face turned into serious mode as Eagle gave a pout on his face, which Ferio missed to see, hearing the topic about him once again. He just hates talking about his personal dilemmas and everything. "Wanna talk about it? Is it because of Lantis? I know Lantis is getting too close to Hikaru and..."
Eagle, before breaking apart, turned his back and without looking at Ferio, he said in his happy tone of voice, "Don't worry yourself too much about me, dear King of Cephiro. You got a planet to think of and a wife to take care of." He said as he completely disappears in the dark. Why can't they just forget about me even for just a second? I'm not a kid for them to take care of! I'm a man! And why does he have to mention about Hikaru and Lantis again?!
He hates it. He hates it whenever someone would mention that something special is forming between the two—something deep and special. But he didn't have any grudges especially to Lantis. How could he hate his bestfriend when he has also fallen in love with the same girl that he has fallen in love with? It's not a sin to be in love. And besides, Hikaru's not his, as of this moment, for him to hate any man who has special affection to her.
What he actually hates is the fact that this 'something special' is eating and feasting his heart into deep slumber. He loves Hikaru and...Yes, I feel jealous! I know that's the reason why I'm mad. He said to his self as he stopped once again shutting his eyes. I love Hikaru so much that I feel like losing her...
"Eagle, you're still awake?" A voice was once heard again. This time, he knew that upon hearing this voice, his heart leaps in joy. And without opening his eyes, he smiled and said, "That's the third time I've been reminded that I was still awake, Hikaru..."
"Maybe because it's already past midnight and you're still awake." She said with a smile as Eagle opens his eyes and stared at the fiery redhead knight before him. Hikaru is wearing a long white nightgown that extends to his ankle but with a short sleeve exposing her thin and white arms. Her hair was loose from the braid but is beautifully combed extending to her back. God, she's so beautiful... He said to his self as he felt losing to the beautiful crimson eyes of Hikaru.
"I can't believe that you guys were able to have the people here adopt the time frame that you had in your world, Hikaru." Eagle said as he approaches her.
"Thanks to you because you were the one who analyzed if it could be use here in Cephiro." Hikaru said. But to Eagle's ears, she seems to be singing for him...or was he just over exaggerating...
"That was nothing." Eagle said trying to take his daze off to Hikaru, reminding himself of the limited actions he could do. "So, why are you still awake, Princess Hikaru?" Eagle asked as he knelt down before her and kisses her hand. And right after kissing her hand, he stood not wanting to miss the usual blush that Hikaru has on her face whenever he does that to her.
"Mou, Eagle. I told you to stop calling me that! I'm not a pillar in Cephiro anymore. I'm just an ordinary person here..."
"Not to me." Eagle said with a sweet smile once again. Not the usual smile that he gives to people or to women he meets but the loving smile that he only saves for the woman that he is bounded to love and that is Hikaru. Hikaru's blush deepens and Eagle fought the urge of laughing, not because of finding it silly for her to blush but because of the joy she is bringing to his heart with those reactions she gives out to his simple actions towards her.
So before he could let Hikaru turn her back away from him because of complete embarrassment, Eagle started asking once again. "So, tell me. Why are you still awake, my princess?" He asked.
"I asked you first." Hikaru let out a pout on her face, still trying not to look at Eagle.
Eagle smiled at the scene before him. Hikaru, you're such fragile thing. He said to his self. "Well, I was just thinking on how you Magic Knights were doing. Are you really sure you wanted to stay here in Cephiro. I mean wouldn't your families be worried about you staying here?" Eagle asked seriously.
Hikaru turned her back, not because she wanted to get away from Eagle. Her arms at her back and her feet almost playing with the cold marbled floor. "I'm sure they would but we're already on the right age of choosing what's best for us and this is what's best for us."
There I was waiting for a chance
"That's good to hear." Eagle said. And that's the best decision for me as well, Hikaru. I wanted you stay here and I wanted to be with you, Hikaru. Besides, this is the best moment for me. I know you have over-protective brothers and I'm ready to face them all for you Hikaru...just for the chance of loving you, I'd do anything even if I have to face death once again. Eagle almost said out loud to her but fought the temptation as he watches her tip-toeing with the floor.
Without any hesitation, Eagle approached Hikaru and to her amazement, he started lifting her to his arms. "E—Eagle, what are you doing?!" Hikaru asked with the usual blush at her face.
"I really love it when you blush, Hikaru." Eagle teased with a smile on his face. Especially when you're blushing for me, Hikaru...
"Mou, Eagle! Drop me down!" Hikaru yelled but did not fought too well.
Hoping that you'll understand
"I don't want to." Eagle said as he walks away from the spot carrying the woman he love on his arms. "I love the feeling of carrying you on my arms, my beloved princess." Eagle said seriously. "Besides, the cold marbled floor is no match for your dainty feet. I hate to see you getting sick, you know. It's better that I be sick, but not you." Hikaru, I know that you know that I love you deeply. You know that well...but why can't you understand everything that I'm doing. I know you're not a child anymore...you're not that same Hikaru I've known 'coz you have grown so much to a lovely woman that I have always imagined that you should be. Or was it because you still have that juvenile heart that had captivated my heart in the beginning?
The things I wanna to say
"E—Eagle..." Hikaru called out faintly.
I want to say it all out loud, Hikaru. I wanted to say everything that I had been thinking. If only I was still in coma and you're visiting me then my mind is open up and everything that my head has been screaming about could be heard by you. No, not only my head's screaming but most especially, my heart's screaming, yearning for you, my Hikaru. I love you so much Hikaru...
Moments after, the two remained quiet as Eagle walks in the dark alley. Hikaru is quietly snuggling to Eagle feeling the cold covering all over her body.
This is so perfect... Eagle thought. Tonight, he had decided. After so much of a thought, he decided that he is going to end all his miseries for this night—he is going to propose to Hikaru. He can't wait any longer.
"So tell me, what have you been doing in Cephiro for all these years?" Eagle started asking. "After all, it's been such a long time since the fight for the pillar occurred."
"Yeah. It's been a long time." Hikaru started burying her face underneath.
"There's no need to worry about that anymore. It's the past and we're already living in for a good future. And everyone is quiet well and happy on their own." Eagle said out loud. "And I'm also alive and here taking you on my arms, my dear princess. So tell me, what have you been doing on Earth?"
As my love that's stronger than before
"Well, Fuu is already a doctor. She just needs some specialization but still she's already a doctor." Hikaru started as Eagle blinked continuously. Hikaru read somehow on Eagle's reaction that she needs some explanation. "Well, a doctor is the one who tries to save people's lives by healing them from their sickness." Hikaru explained as Eagle nod his head. "Umi was a first-class chef. A cook, in short. She's working in large hotels. Hotels are large buildings, like an inn, only it have so many floors and, yeah, basically, it's like an inn."
"And you?" Eagle asked seriously.
"Well, I was a policewoman. The one who keeps peace and order and chase bad guys and imprison them. We also help the people to save them in danger."
"Just like a warrior, a knight." Eagle commented. "But I'm sure, maintaining peace and order in your world is much different than doing it here. I bet it's far more dangerous, neh?" He asked.
"Well, kinda." Hikaru sweatdrop. "That's why I quitted the job because my brothers wouldn't stop screaming because of my job, though my officers told I was doing well. I can't do anything about it. I can't work when my brothers are around guarding me."
"I bet they do. But you know what, if I was there too, and you have that job, I swear I'd do the same thing too." Eagle said with a smile.
"Eagle, you're not helping at all." Hikaru said with another pout.
"Hahahaha! Gomen Hikaru." He said apologetically.
"And then I became a model, the one who poses for clothes to be bought by people. But then, again, my brothers don't like the job again because they said I was wearing revealing clothes. And they don't like people seeing me that way."
"I'd love to see you in those revealing clothes. I wish I had known the way on Earth long before your third trip so I could have watch you wearing those somewhat intriguing clothes. How revealing are they?" Eagle asked as Hikaru hit him gently on his back. Eagle just gave out a laugh. "Just kidding."
"It doesn't sound like a joke." Hikaru said. "Here we are." Eagle proclaimed as he stood before the large door of Hikaru's room. "Right at your haven..."
"Oh, you can drop me here, Eagle. I—" Hikaru said as she tried to go down from Eagle's arms. But the latter did not let Hikaru and instead opened the door and went straight inside. "Eagle?!"
Eagle shut the door and walked straight towards Hikaru's large bed. "I don't want to drop you on the floor, Hikaru. I told you, cold marbled floor has no..."
"...match for my dainty feet. Yeah, you already said that." Hikaru said with a smile as Eagle gently drop her on the bed.
I wanna see you more and more
"Now, my fair lady, shall I start combing your hair or hum you some lullabies for you to be able to sleep." Eagle said kneeling infront of Hikaru.
"Hesh." Hikaru said smiling at Eagle. "You always tease me, Eagle. I'm not that fourteen year old girl, you know."
Eagle stared at Hikaru and no words came out of his mouth. He was thinking again about Hikaru, eventhough she is just infront of him. The Magic Knights have came back to stay permanently in Cephiro, to cherish their lives with the people they love. Fuu and Ferio are already married and are both ruling the whole planet. Umi and Guru Clef are also bounded, in human terms, engaged, and their marriage is soon to celebrate. But the question is: who is Hikaru staying for? Was it he or was it Lantis? She hasn't decided on it yet or was she not telling anyone yet? The questions that lingers on Eagle's head. Whatever is her decision, just like Lantis, he would still find it out in no time...
Wait...find it out in no time... Eagle trembled upon the thought. Was it because... Eagle stared at Hikaru who almost fell asleep on his arms. No. She hasn't decided yet, I guess...I should stop thinking about it. This is not the right time of thinking about it. Besides, I have already made some arrangement and I believe that tonight would be the best night of my life...right Hikaru? Eagle wanted to ask out loud to Hikaru but failed as he fears for what answers that Hikaru holds on her mouth—a relief to his weary heart or further rupture on his heart.
"Eagle?" Hikaru asked as she put her hand on Eagle's forehead. "Are you sick? You don't seem to have any fever..."
Eagle, seemingly back from reality after hearing Hikaru's voice, said, "I'm alright, Hikaru. I'm not sick."
"Glad to hear th—" Hikaru said with a smile only stopped as Eagle had his lips pressed on her lips and gently push her unto the bed. He locked her tight in his arms as he tasted the lips of woman she love and long for years.
After a few moments, Eagle broke the kiss with Hikaru stunned to what just happened. He smiled and said, "You're right. You're not that fourteen year old girl that I—"
He was now the one stunned as a hard blow from Hikaru's hand landed on his cheeks. But that hard blow on his face did not hurt as much as it had hurt his heart. Hikaru...
"Why did you do it, Eagle?" She asked almost crying. Eagle, almost broke down seeing Hikaru crying. He doesn't want to see Hikaru crying, especially if the tears are caused by him. Her tears are like an acid that slowly destroy his being in excruciating pain.
"I—I'm sorry, Hikaru." Eagle said out loud. "I'm sorry." He said hiding the pain underneath his platinum bangs. Does that mean? Hikaru...you...have already chosen...Lantis...over me?
But you closed your door
"Eagle, I have something to say. that—that's why I was out in the middle of the night. I was looking for you..." Hikaru said as she had her hands clasped on her heart. "About Lantis and me...I have decided..."
"Hikaru, I don't want to hear it." Eagle said out loud. Hikaru stopped seeing Eagle's darkened expression.
"E—Eagle..." She called out as her hands reach out on him.
Eagle stood and walked towards the door. She had already closed her heart from me... "Hikaru, you've just turned twenty-one, a beautiful woman that I have always imagined even while I was asleep. Just the right woman that I have always long for...the woman that I have been loving for all these years, for all these time. And maybe for all eternity..." He said with a smile but almost her voice is crackling avoiding the future outburst of his emotion.
Why don't you try
To open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time
"Hikaru, you've...you've decided too soon...have you ever consider of taking a little while before...before...this?" Eagle asked, standing still. "Would it even hurt just for you to think about it again for some time? Maybe, you could somehow change..."
"I know. I know it was too sudden. We just came back from Earth after all these years but...but while I was still on Earth, I was thinking. I was thinking of how I really feel...about you and Lantis. And I swear that I've thought it over and over again...it's just the same thing..." Hikaru said, her head tilted down looking straight at her hands in clasped on her lap. "E—Eagle, I never meant to hurt you. Please, I never want to see anyone suffering because of me. Especially, you, Eagle...please..." Hikaru called out. "But please just let it go...I want you to be happy, as well, Eagle."
I believe what you said to me
We should set each other free
That is how you want it to be
Eagle let out a loud laugh echoing all throughout the room. "How...how can you say that I just let it go...are you telling me to take all my feelings? Do you know what it's like to let it go, Hikaru?" Eagle asked, still not looking at her. "The only way that I could let it go is either by killing me or just by taking all my emotions, my heart! Because I know even if I have all my memories erased, I would still continue loving you, Hikaru! How...how could you say that to me?"
"Eagle, I'm sorry. But I...I know it would hurt you a lot...but it is much better to tell this to you this time because I think if it'd take sooner...the sooner I tell you about this, the more painful it is for you to accept. And I just want what's best for everyone, Eagle...and this is what I believe is what's best for you...for the two of us...Eagle."
"Hikaru, is there any way that you could return my love for you?" Eagle asked plainly.
Hikaru did not answer right after then but after a while, "No. I can't. I know in my heart. I love Lantis. I love you too, Eagle but it was more of a friendly...like a brother...like what I felt towards the first guy that I have a crush on...but Lantis...I know I love him most...Eagle."
"You'll never love me back, Hikaru. You'll never do." Eagle said as he slowly started walking towards the door. "I know my love is strong...and I know that I would do anything for this love...for you...but you'll never return the same passion, the same depth of love I have towards you, Hikaru." Eagle stopped infront of the door. "But...it would be stupid to say that it's okay. I won't lie. It hurts a lot. It hurts and it is slowly eating my whole being...because of the truth..."
Hikaru stood from the bed and walked towards Eagle with tears on her face. "Eagle..."
"No. Stop there, Hikaru. I don't want you to comfort me. I may forgot me sane mind once you would comfort and I might do the unthinkable and I know it would hurt you a lot and it would hurt me more seeing you in so much pain." Eagle said as he touched the door knob. "Listen. Before I came into your presence, I was thinking of proposing to you. And I was thinking you would say 'yes' to me and I thought if ever you won't, I've decided that I'd go back to Autozam as soon as possible." And I was lying to myself...I had no plans if ever you'd reject me...
"Eagle..." Hikaru called out once again.
"Do not worry about me. I wouldn't face you again after this night, Hikaru. Maybe some day. Some day when all the pain in my heart have been...some day when I could truly tell you how happy I am seeing you happy...though in the arms of another man...I wish you well Hikaru...I know Lantis would never hurt you. He loves you as much as I do, Hikaru." Eagle said as he went out the door.
Right after closing the door, Eagle ran. He ran and ran without looking back nor looking at his way. He just ran with tears flowing from his eyes. How could I act like such a cry baby?! I've said I'm a man but here I am, crying because the woman I love rejected me?! I'm such an idiot! Eagle, you're an idiot!!!
"E—Eagle..." A voice called out almost infront of him and Eagle bumped hard unto that person that the two feel stumbling on the floor. "What the hell are you doing, Eagle?!" The man said rubbing his butt out of pain. "Goodness! Can't you somehow recall your sub-commander, at least?! God! It's me, Geo! E—Eag...?!" Geo called out and saw Eagle not standing but was sobbing on the floor. Geo stood and gathered the devastated Eagle on his arms. "Eagle? What happened?"
Eagle snuggled to Geo and continued to cry. Geo just stared at his commander and friend with all pity as he supported his head using his arm. He did not speak but he just continued to cry as if his eyes are filled with gallons of tears and he was holding the ocean water right through at his head. Later on, he felt weak and dizzy as his senses fell into blackness.
"U...ugh..." Eagle slowly opened his eyes but find himself almost blinded by the strong light. He rose up and somehow adjusted his vision and saw himself inside his room, his usual room in NSX.
"It's good you're already awake. Now we could do all the talking!" Geo's voice crossed his ears and he turned his head seeing him sitting on a cushion nearby with a jar of candies on his hand. "I'm sorry if I had to put you to sleep since I've guessed during that time that you'd cry all night and I know I should bring you back here but I can't let the commander of NSX arrive crying like a cry-baby. What honor would be left to you once the crew sees you in that state?"
"Yeah. I was also stunned seeing you unconscious on Geo's arms last night. I thought someone had attacked the castle or you had your sickness back again. I was so worried not until this old jerk guy told me and it took me a while before I had him spit it out!" Zazu said giving a sharp look at Geo.
"Shut up." Geo growled as the two exchanged sharp look at one another.
Eagle then broke into laughter seeing the scene between the two. He was holding his stomach as he broken into a loud laughter. The two men stopped exchanging glares and just stared at Eagle and then they both exchange look—of confusion because of Eagle's action.
"Eagle, you okay?" Zazu asked blinking his eyes.
"Hahahaha! I—I'm sor—ry. I—I just can't...help it! Both of you are so funny!!!" Eagle broke once again into laughter. "I'm really sorry. Ahahahaha!!!"
"Shesh. Just a stupid thing and you're laugh. You're like a kid, Eagle." Geo commented as he hid his red face underneath his hand.
"I know I was such a kid. And you always have to watch over me, Geo. Ever since..." Eagle said stopping from laughing and curling to his knees and hiding his face with his hair. "That's why I suck in love because I can't be a man..."
Geo and Zazu stared at one another as they have guessed what's bothering Eagle. "Eagle, you're so transparent." Zazu reacted. "So, she has chosen Lantis..." Zazu said as Geo gave him a hard blow on his head. "WHAT?! Whaddya do that for?! That hurts a lot, you know?!"
"You really don't have to state what's obvious!!!" Geo growled.
"Nah. There's nothing to be worried at. Yeah, she did. I just..." Eagle smiled.
"Hay...Oy, Zazu, let's go. We need to leave this cry baby here..." Geo said as he fixed himself to leave. Zazu obeyed and walked before Geo and left before him. "I'm leaving my bottle of candies here in case you want to have some. Well, you can have some but not all of them, alright?" He said as he turned his back and faced the door.
"Geo." Eagle called out
"Tell me...was what...was it wrong?" Eagle asked looking straight at nothingness. "Was my love wrong? Or have I love the wrong one? Or have I love the wrong time? Or was it just because she really doesn't belong to me?"
Geo stared at his friend and then turned his back but before stepping out of the room, he said, "I've also asked that when I fell inlove with the princess of Chizeta...but you know what? I really don't care if it's wrong. What I know is I know it is just right, how I feel. Because in love, there's no such thing as wrong and right. It's just pure love." He said as the door shut down leaving Eagle alone once again.
"Silly me. I was really thinking stupid." Eagle said to his self as he stood and reached out of a portrait on a table by his bed. It was Hikaru's picture that she gave to her as a gift when he woke up years ago.
Maybe it's wrong to say please love me too
'Coz I know you'll never do
"I know I can't just plead for your love because it can't be subjected to orders, orders that I am used to deliver to those people here in NSX which they follow diligently. You're not a crew of my heart, Hikaru. And no matter what I do, you'd never love me back...not as much as I love you..."
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
"Lantis is there. He loves you so much and I know he's ready to give up his life for you. I know he deserves someone like you and you...you deserve him as well. And more than that, you love him...you love him more than you do for me..."
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Coz I know he's here to stay
"Hey, Geo." Eagle called out as he pressed a communication button.
"Huwat is it?" Geo asked. "Don't tell me you've already eaten the whole jar?! I'll fry you alive if you did!"
"Let's go back home." He said with a bitter smile.
"WHAT?!" Geo's voice echoed. "B—but..."
"Come on. The princess of Chizeta won't be not until the next three months! Let's go home. I've just read a letter from my monster-like sister. She wants me home for her birthday. You know I'd hate to disappoint her."
"You sure?" Geo's voice asked with a worried tone.
"Hey, we would come back. It's not like we're going to leave for forever! Start up the engine right away." Eagle ordered.
"Uh...Lantis sent a message...he was...Hikaru's worried about you." Geo's voice echoed as Eagle froze. "E—Eagle???"
"I'm okay. Tell her, I'd be at her wedding, at least at the doorway. And tell her that we're coming home because of my sister. And tell Lantis...I can't stay for a while. I don't want to disrupt the future wedding. And...I'm watching his back, so he should cool off with that cold attitude of him and don't he dare make her cry 'coz I'm going to skin him alive." Eagle said with a smile as he gently had the picture frame on a side. "Got that?"
"Roger. I'm sending the message to Lantis right away." Geo answered. "Now, let's go home."
"Home." Eagle said as he dropped his body on a chair as he cut the communication between him and Geo. "Hikaru, I wish for your happiness..."
I know to whom you should belong
**************************************************************************** **************** Reviews are well appreciated. Whaddya think? Did I suck at my first MKR fic? Please do tell me. I'd really wanna know...I beg you... *author's kneeling and pleading* I don't know if I did some justice to Eagle's character and hey I really didn't see him that mama's-boy type or the cry-baby type as a whole I was just pinpointing how vulnerable he seems when he is in his most depressing moment. Well, I'd always see him as the guy who always smile, gives jokes, one who'd give way for people's happiness though it hurts him so much, the one who doesn't want as much as he could avoid had others worry for him and the one who'd always hide the pain in his heart...that's why I love this guy.