Hitch is literally one of my favourite films. I watch it whenever I need a pick-me-up. The idea for this Hitch/Hunger Games crossover came to me a few weeks ago while at work and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since!
Please enjoy and remember to leave your comments. :)
I don't own The Hunger Games or Hitch.
PROLOGUE
I'll let you into a little secret. Anytime, anywhere, any place; any man can sweep any woman off her feet. All it takes is the right broom.
No woman wakes up in the morning and thinks to herself, "I hope I don't meet the future love of my life today." However in this world of cheesy pick-up lines and one night stands she may misinterpret your interest as less then genuine. How do you make yourself stand out from the common class of low-life men that hit on women without any intention of taking them past the first date? Simple; it's all about basic principles. You see, only 10% of all human communication is verbal which means that 90% of what you're saying isn't coming out of your mouth.
60% comes down to body language The way you stand, the position of your arms, where your eyes are focused all say something about the kind of guy you are and what you're interested in. A woman won't give you the time of day if you continue to stare at her chest instead of her face.
30% is your tone. Confidence speaks volumes but overconfidence is like someone shouting in your ear. It's uncomfortable and irritating and it could get you punched in the face. The trick is to believe that you are capable of wooing this woman without thinking that you're entitled to her.
Now she might say, "It's just not a good time for me," or my personal favourite, "I'm really into my career right now". But here's the truth; she's lying to you. What she's really saying is "Get away from me now you creep," or maybe…just maybe, "Try harder, stupid". But which one is it?
Of course she's going to lie to you. She's a nice person; she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She doesn't even know you….yet. But luckily, just like rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it. And that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes.
Some men seem to have a gift when it comes to with the opposite sex. They like women, women like them. But for some guys this just doesn't come naturally. Back in high school I was one of those guys. I let the perfect girl slip through my fingers and I've regretted it every day since the moment she first disappeared from my life. It was a brutal education but it's a lesson I feel obliged to pass on to my fellow man.
To most people I'm just that guy who works in consulting (whatever that means). But what they don't know is that I offer bespoke, one-on-one tutelage in the art of dating and relationships. Three dates is all I need.
My name is Peeta Mellark and I'm the Date Doctor.