From the mind of Lauren Glancesherlock

My cousin and I reached GameStop right when it opened. There was a line. To my cousin's relief more than mine, we were not the oldest people there. Frankly, I couldn't care less about age. I've wanted this for months. After checkout, the two of us walked briskly back to our car- our long-awaited treasures in hand. At home, I tore open the package and practically shoved the game into the cartridge. And there it was: the start screen, the animated opening, the obscure professor in an undefined space with the most beautiful head of hair I've ever seen.

"Welcome to the world of Pokémon!"

I grinned.

Bitchin'.

~~**~*INTERDIMENSIONAL TRAVEL SEQUENCE GO*~**~~

I was sleeping peacefully in my bed when I was awoken by something crashing into my gut! Sitting up, I saw that a small, red and grey bird with a black tail was perched on my leg. Evidentally, it was what had flown into me. Once I saw those big, cutsie eyes all was forgiven. (I'm a sucker for the cute.)

"Aw!" I reached out and scratched its head. "I don't know what you are, but you are adorable—HUHHH!"

My eyes followed up my arm to my body. I felt the fabric that hugged me loosely. So warm, fuzzy, soft.

"I'm wearing… pajamas! You get pajamas in this region?!" I leapt out of bed, scaring the crap out of the poor little bird. There was a mirror in my bedroom, and I stood in front of it, curious as to what I looked like in this world. I had long, blonde hair, no boobs, and was about half a foot shorter than I was in the real world. It was all made complete by my big, anime eyes. I went to the closet, excited to see what variety of clothes I would be able to choose from—

ONE. OUTFIT.

Black shoes, tights, blouse, red hat, and a skirt.

"Well," I looked at my unpractical attire. "This shit is changing as soon as possible. Especially you!" I pointed to the shirt's reflection. Seriously, I'm going to be traveling by foot all over the place, and this is what I'm going to wear?!

"Whatever. Now where's my backpack?" I searched around the room for a bag- any bag. But I found nothing, except for a pink purse. …Pink. Purse.

I held it up, thoroughly unimpressed.

"You've gotta be shittin' me."

My excitement rekindled when I went downstairs.

"Mom! Mom, you have your own bedroom! You don't live in the kitchen anymore!"

"Yes honey, isn't it great?" She smiled at me, obnoxiously cheerful and unrealistically supportive as always. The bird from earlier was settled on her shoulder.

"Hey Mom, what exactly is that thing?"

"Oh." She gave the bird a piece of bread. "I've been told it's called a Fletchling. It has a nest in a tree just outside our house, and I figured one more Pokémon around here wouldn't hurt."

"Yeah," I smiled. "I hear that."

"The Kalos region is really different from our last home," she continued, spewing semi-helpful exposition. "Sorry not all of your clothes are unpacked, but you should go out and meet the neighborhood kids and make some friends."

I clasped my hands excitedly. "Yes! New rivals!" Without another word I dashed to the door. As I opened it, I heard Mom add:

"Oh, don't wake up Rhyhorn, Lauren!"

"Rhyhorn? Wait, what?" I turned back to get some clarity, but Mom was already gone.

"Hi!"

I whipped back around. A boy and girl about my age were standing before me. The girl giggled. "Finally, there you are!"

I blinked. "Um… how long have you guys been creepily waiting outside my house for me?"

"Welcome to Vaniville Town!" The boy gave a courtesy smile. "My name's Calem. I'm your neighbor."

"Oh." I frowned. "Hi Cheren."

"And my name's Shauna!" The girl beamed at me and gave a little wave. "Who's Cheren?"

I ignored her question. "Aaannd you must be the Bianca of this region. Hi, I'm Lauren."

"Guess what!" Shauna clasped her hands together. "We've come to get you!"

"Uhh…" I shifted my eyes between them. The way-too-happy looks on their faces were… unsettling.

"Professor Sycamore has requested something from five kids from this town. He's going to give the three of us a Pokémon." The boy crossed his arms as he spoke. "I'm surprised he asked for you, though. I mean, you just moved here."

"Well, obviously it's because I'm the Avatar." I gloated.

Shauna cocked her head. "The Avatar?"

"Of course. I am from another world, you see. After months and months of avoiding online spoilers, I have taken on a new form in order to restore balance to this world by defeating a criminal organization with obscure motives! …Also I will indefinitely become the new Champion and perform numerous accounts of breaking-and-entering."

"Wow!" I swear I saw Shauna's eyes sparkle. "So cool!"

"Yeah cool whatever." Calem adjusted his backpack and turned to leave. "Let's just head over to Aquacorde Town to get our new Pokémon."

As I was about to follow not-Cheren and not-Bianca to Aquacorde Town, I was stopped by a rumbling next to me. Low and behold, I was standing next to that fricken Rhyhorn! "And how long have you been there?"

"I've been napping in the garden."

Somehow, somewhere, I heard a record player scratch.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa… you talk?!" I crouched down so that I was level with his face.

"Yes. For the sake of the plot, you can understand the speech of all Pokémon that belong to you. I've been your mother's Pokémon for years and, as she will randomly explain later, I have known you since birth, so that basically counts."

"Awesome!" I thrust my fists to the sky triumphantly. Then I lowered them in confusion. "Wait, you know about the plot?"

"Yes. I also know that you are from beyond the fourth wall and have come to this world as the new Avatar."

I sat down, cross legged, entranced. "Tell me more, oh wise Rhyhorn."

"Mr. Rhyhorn, if you please." He cleared his throat. "And for now, there is nothing more I am allowed to tell you. I have seen what lies beyond the fourth wall, and after seeing how little a life you truly have, I'm sure you'll be able to waste enough time to beat this children's video game and restore balance to Kalos."

"Gosh! Thanks for believing in me, Mr. Rhyhorn!"

"Fare-thee-well, Avatar Lauren!" He called after me as I ran out to the street. "We shall speak again in about two or so cut scenes!"

After marveling the different camera angles that shift when I walked down the first route, I entered Aquacorde Town. Only a moment passed until I heard Shauna beckon me over to a table. She was sitting with Calem and two other boys: a plump guy with a really big mouth and a short ginger. The latter introduced himself as Trevor, who apparently is like Jimmy Neutron: PokéGenius. The other was Tierno, who…

"I've got some pretty good dance moves." He demonstrated by waving his arms in the air and shaking himself not-so-gracefully.

I grimaced. I was sooo looking forward to kicking his ass in battle.

"You know," Tierno lowered his arms. "I think we'd be a closer group if we called each other all by nicknames."

And so he, Trevor, and Shauna argued over which nickname they should call me. L-Meister, Lil'L, Big L… I thought they were all really lame. I looked over at Calem, who was leaning on the table looking incredibly bored and impatient. He was staring intently at a box on the table in front of Tierno. My guess is that's where our new Pokémon were. I assumed the same position as Calem and whispered, "I feel your pain, dude."

Finally, I had enough of all this stalling BS, and stood up. I Captain Morgan-d myself on the tabletop and declared: "I reject all of your nicknames and submit my own. From this day forward, you may all refer to me as Miss Lauren."

"Oh perfect!" Shauna clapped her hands in delight. "That's even better considering you're the Avatar!"

Ah crap! I totally missed my chance to have them call me Avatar Lauren! (Seriously, I should have done that. It would have been awesome.)

Calem rolled his eyes. "Shauna, you don't actually believe that interdimensional tripe, do you?"

"Who cares!" I exclaimed. "Bring on the Pokémon!"

"Oh, right!" Tierno unlatched the box and retrieved three PokéBalls from inside. "I know you guys are excited. Trevs and I could hardly wait to get our Pokémon."

He let them out of the balls and allowed us to inspect the little guys. I was allowed first pick… just because.

Let's see… Chespin, Fennekin, and Froakie. The Chespin was trying its darndest to look adorable, almost a little too hard. The Fennekin raised its eyebrow at me like, "Yeah, I'm the fire starter. Just pick me already." Then the Froakie…

He wasn't looking at me or anyone in particular, really. His eyes did a survey around the table while his face sported a calculating look, like he was analyzing each and every person individually. Despite this, he seemed oddly uninterested in what he found in us. He looked as though he had bigger and better places to be.

Without a second thought, I reached out and grabbed him, to which he reacted with annoyance. He composed himself immediately as I smiled at him.

"Hey there, my name's Lauren. You ready to kick ass and take names?"

The Froakie chuckled and bowed- or at least he bowed as well as he could while I held him. When he spoke, his voice sounded British. Very British. Oh Godddd.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Lauren. My name is Alistair Enoch Diamond, and I shall be pleased to aid in taking attendance and beating posteriors."

From the journal of Alistair Enoch Diamond

What on earth have I gotten myself into? Well it's been a while since I've made an entry. I suppose I should be up to date…

Isaac had organized the deal. It was in the usual way: we were to deliver a shipment of berries to the local Pikachu community. I decided to attend the exchange myself. It was simple, quick, and legal, for once. And the Santalune Forest is quite charming this time of year. Everything was in place. We arrived at the rendezvous point ahead of schedule, all the cargo was in order, and my men were in high spirits. Things couldn't have been simpler.

Actually, they could have been simpler. Much, much simpler.

It was a damn setup. The Puff Squad ambushed us, and the Pikachu join in on the attack. I knew my men would never be able to survive should we retaliate. For their own safety I ordered the retreat and regroup. As we fled I noticed much to my horror that I was the subject of chase for a very large Raichu. Where he had come from, I hadn't the faintest idea, but he was out for blood, and I was his target. Regina must have hired him to get rid of me once and for all, that harpy.

I moved as quickly as my legs could carry me, relying on my speed and wit alone to save my life. The thing called after me, mocking my cowardice and weakness. He executed attack after attack, narrowly missing me every time. I knew that soon one of those electric bolts would pierce through my body and end me.

Arceus above! Someone up there must believe I am worth something, for I was saved… in a way. I came across another Froakie exploring through the bushes. Ignoring any guilt that called out from my cold conscious, I knocked the poor fellow out with the head of my cane and placed all of my belongings with him. I shall miss my monocle, cane, and hat, but my life is worth far more. And unfortunately for that ill-fated chap, it was worth far more to me than his. When I was sure he could be mistaken for me, I dashed away, only to come across two human boys accompanied by a Fennekin and Chespin. They accepted me as theirs, assuming I was the same Froakie as before. I tried with great difficulty to think about what awaited my decoy. But what luck I must have to have found myself in such a position of opportunity!

The humans took me to a nearby town south of the forest: Vaniville Town, if I heard that correctly. It was here that I learned my new fate- these humans had been entrusted in delivering beginner Pokémon to three rookie trainers. When the three of us were revealed to these children, I immediately caught the eye of one of the human girls. She embraced me within moments and claimed me as her own. I do not appreciate being seen as the property of a human, but considering my circumstances, it may be in my best favor to go into hiding for a while. No doubt the Puff Squad has by now discovered that my little decoy is a fake and will be searching for me. And I do not plan on dying by A Raichu's electric bolt. I rather like living.

So for now, I go along with this façade and be under the temporary care of a human. Besides, it should be an educational experience to travel alongside this gill- this… Lauren.