Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts
Authoress note: I am so sorry I haven't updated in like forever. My computer broke down, and our internet service got shut off for a really long time, and my other computer won't be back for a while so I'll have to make do with this one. Please be patient with me. I'm going on a 7 day cruise, And I'm leaving Friday, but I'll be back Saturday, then I'll update with the results, but Until then here's a one-shot to keep you all happy. Enjoy!
Side chapter: What guys do when they get bored
Sora, Riku, Cloud, Leon, Zexion, Demyx, Roxas, and Axel all sat around the living room floor of the Strife residence. It was hot inside, and the air conditioner was broken, the ceiling fan was lying on the head of the couch, which seemed to have been flipped over by the previous "fall". There was a pan of what looked like burnt cookies with dust with black smoke still hovering off of them from the previous incident on the floor, and the table was missing a leg. Cloud glared from left to right at the cause of all the havoc in his once "peaceful" (if you can call it that) home, and sighed. Leon sat, looking as if absolutely nothing was wrong, while Sora offered a small smile of condolence.
"You know this is all your fault" Axel said, pointing an accusing finger at his "best friend" Riku, who shot him a nasty glare.
"My fault"! How the hell is "this" my fault, Mr. I put aluminum foil in the microwave so I could bake cookies faster!" Riku practically yelled at Axel who winced, and held up his hands defensively.
Cloud let out another aggravated sigh, and the room got quite. "The way I see it was every ones fault". Cloud reasoned only more to himself then to his friends in the room. Riku shot Axel the infamous middle finger, who in return poked his tongue out at him. 'Real mature' Riku thought to himself as he got up to leave the room.
"Where are you going Riku"? Sora asked looking up at his older friend (cause seriously it not like he's gonna look down).
"I gotta take a piss" Riku replied flatly, and with that left the room. Sora turned to Cloud, "So what're you gonna do about this mess"? Cloud stared at him, then looked around the room, then averted his gaze back to the brunette, and sighed. What was he gonna do. His mom, and her sister go on vacation for 3 friggin days, and they damn near burned the house down. 'I might as well save her the trouble of killing me and end it all now' Cloud thought as he got up and walked in to the kitchen looking at the mess in it. To think it all started with one simple question.
Flashback
"So you guys wanna watch a porno video"? Riku asked as if were the most casual question in the world. Sora who was sitting right next to him spat out his drink all over his poor brother who was sitting right in front of him. Roxas turned around and glared at him. Sora smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry". Roxas simply grunted, then elbowed a snickering Axel in the side, who looked at him like a puppy that had just gotten locked outside for absolutely know reason at all. Roxas simply rolled his eyes.
"Why the hell do you wanna watch a damn porno anyways"? Zexion, who had his head conveniently placed in Demyx' lap. Riku shrugged "Cause I think there funny". Axel snorted and everyone averted there gaze in his direction.
"What" Axel asked as if he was just the picture of innocence.
"What's so funny about watching people pretend to have sex on t.v.", Leon who had just entered the room walked over to the couch, where Sora, Zexion, and Demyx were sitting, or in Zexions case lying, comfortably on the couch, and pushed said persons feet down. Zexion gave him an annoyed grunt as Leon made himself comfortable in the spot in which his feet previously rested.
Riku shrugged again, "It's just the phony dialogue, I mean it's like it so fake and corny that you just have to laugh. It' like watching Barny, or the Teletubbys on t.v. only with naked women and crappier lines." Riku explained. Axel nodded in agreement. Cloud, who was sitting in the spot between Riku and Roxas, rolled his eyes.
"I don't own porn" Cloud Said. Riku rolled his eyes as if it were the simplest solution in the world. "Ever heard a BlockBusters" Riku said in an obvious tone. Clouds mouth formed a small "o".
"So what do you suggest we get then" Leon asked as if he were genuinely interested. Riku looked thoughtful for a moment, as if he hadn't already thought of it. "I guess we'll just have to wait till we get there to see what they have won't we"?
" So who's gonna come with me" Riku looked around, and his eyes landed on Demyx who was looking at everyone, and everything but Riku. "oh Demyx", Riku cooed.
"Hell No I'm not going anywhere with you, you maniac. Remember what happened last time"?
Riku looked thoughtful for a moment. (1) "What I was in a hurry" Demyx stared at Riku and shuddered. The guy was insane, and he needed to be put in a mental ward. Riku gave Demyx the most charming grin he could muster. Demyx stared, Riku grinned
Stare
Grin
Stare
Grin
Stare
Grin
Stare
"Look are you coming or what" Riku said faltering his grin. Demyx sighed and looked to Zexion, who turned his head the other way. "Do I have to" Demyx whined pitifully. "I don't even watch porn" But his cries went completely unheard as Riku grabbed him and pulled him out the door.
"I think we should say a prayer" Sora suggested listening to Demyx final cries for help. Axel let out another snort, but agreed none the less.
"But if he dies I get whatever cool stuff he has", now it was Roxas' turn to snort. "That's not much" he said under his breath, but it didn't go unheard unlike Demyx's final cry for help.
As Demyx opened the car door he jumped out kissing the ground greatfully. "Oh stop being so dramatic It wasn't that bad" Riku teased. Demyx stared at him as if he really had gone completely insane.
"Not that bad… NOT that bad… NOT THAT BAD IS SPEADING PAST A RED LIGHT, YOU YOU ALMOST GOT US KILLED YOU IDIOT!" Riku ignored Demyx who was still yelling, and turning red walking into Blockbuster. Demyx noticed how pointless it was to yell at a maniac. After all crazy people don't know there crazy, so instead he followed Riku in. "I'm driving on the way back" Riku stared at him as if he were retarted, and he snorted.
"As if you'll reck my car" Demyx looked appalled, but decided not to press the subject any farther, after all a wise man never courts danger, so instead he seethed silently to him self.
"Ah look the porno section and all it's glory" A few passer bys looked disapprovingly in there direction. Demyx simply covered his face, and prayed to God that know one here knew him.
"What do you thinks taking them so long" Roxas pondered. "Demyx probably had a heart attack, and was rushed to the hospital, cause of Riku's insane driving." Zexion answered flatly.
"Oh,….so who wants to order a pizza?" Roxas suggested bordly. Axel, who was more then happy to agree with anything his blond friend said raised his hand eagerly. Roxas ignored him like he usually did, and Cloud got up to go call the pizza place.
"Hello this is pizza hut, and what can I get for you today?"
"Yeah do you still have that $5.00 deal that comes with any medium sized pizza?" Cloud asked, because it was know way in hell on earth he was gonna have anchovies on his pizza.
"Yes we sure do, and how many pizza's will that be for you sir" The women on the other line asked.
"Uh 4 I guess"
"Uhuh, and what would you like on the first one"?
Already knowing what his friends liked, he didn't have to ask what they wanted. "On the first one could I get pineapple and ham" He said looking to Sora who always got the same thing. He knew Riku wouldn't mind sharing with him. "Yeah and the second one I want
30 minutes later
"When is the pizza gonna get here" Sora whined, "And where's Riku" Zexion rolled his eyes. "I thought I already told you… sniff sniff.. what's that smell" All of a sudden They all heard a loud explosion that seemed to be coming from the kitchen.
Axel burst out the kitchen, a huge cloud of smoke flowing out from behind him. He then ran outside, and came back with a water hose. Sora, Roxas, Cloud, Leon, and Zexion all watched in mild amusement as Axel ran back in the kitchen with the water hose in tact, sprayig water all over. Cloud slapped his forehead in annoyance as he walked over to the kitchen door and opened it, only to see a cloud of smoke, and the smell of fire.
"Axel what the hell did you do!" Cloud yelled above his voice. He heard a small hushed profanity from in front of him.
Cloud glared as he and Axel stumbled out of the kitchen, Axel trying to look as innocent as possible, and Cloud putting all his might into not strangling the redhead.
As Roxas watched the seen play before him he couldn't help but laugh. Cloud mustered up the dirtiest glare he could, and my god if looks could kill. "What hahaha wh wha hahaha" Roxas struggled for air.
Sora looked at him and sighed "I think what he's he's trying to say is, and I'd like to know myself, what did you do?" Axel walked over to the couch and sat on the floor looking quite upset.
"Well ya see I was trying to make cookies, so I got the pan out, put aluminum foil on it, and put the microwave on high, ya know so it'd cook faster. Well anyway then the microwave all of a sudden just blew up, throwing flames everywhere, it was so cool you guys should of seen it, and…" Everyone looked at him as if he were retarted.
"You put aluminum foil in the microwave on high?" Leon asked with a disturbed look on his face.
Axel nodded "Yeah so then I went to get a paper towel so that I could like shoo it a way, then it caught on fire to and"
"YOU DID WHAT!" Cloud yelled loudly.
"You know nothing a little air can't get rid of lets see, hey does that fan work" Axel pulled in the little ceiling fan string, just before "No" to late click… jump… Crash. "don't" in a hushed voice, but in vain. Zexion, Sora, and Leon who jumped out of the way just before the fan hit the head of the sofa knocking it over. Sora landed on the table, with great force, thus causing the table leg to break. "Ow" he moaned rubbing his shoulder. "You idiot do you know how kong that took me to fix last time"! (2) Cloud yelled.
"Hehe oops,… so anyone wanna watch the news I do" Axel said and turned on the t.v. to find "And in previous news we've captured live a car speeding down the highway 95 seemingly making it's way toward the highway exit. But as you see here the car is in the wrong lane, causing a pizza car that is going 60 mph, to swerve, affectively knocking it off the road. Fortunately the man inside the car manages to escape with few injuries right before the car blows up… and here's what the man has to say "I thank God I'm alive but my boss is gonna kill me. What the hell was that guy doin in the wrong lane anyways, and now the pizza is cold" Alleged driver Riku Harada who just recently got his license back from a six month suspension has been arrested, and is now at the Traverse city jail house, with his friend in the hospital who has been Identified as a Demyx Strife, apparently from having suffered a horrible panic attack……"
Zexion scoffed "figures" Cloud slaps his forhead, "My moms gonna kill me".
"Sooo" Axel starts, "Who wants to pay his bail"?
And so they paid the bail for Riku who is now on probation, and is not allowed to leave the state. Demyx is safely returned from the hospital, but has to take therapy for perhaps what may be the rest of his life. And that brings us back to our previous situation.
The front door swings open, and Cloud looks as if he's seen a ghost as his mother, and his aunt walk into the room. He goes back to the kitchen just before… "CLOUD STRIFE!", And he wishes that it was him the couch fell on top of.
end
(1)If you all want to know what happened, then just leave a review saying so and I'll write a prequel for you, but only if I get five reviews saying so
(2) This would be in the prequel if you decided you wanted me to make one.
Authoress note: This is just to hold you all till I get back from vacation, and I promise I'll update then, but till then please be patient. I hope you all enjoyed this, and review. Thanx
Bysers!