Spoilers for episode 2x20.
All mistakes are mine and I don't own this awesome show. Oh and listening to Pearl Jam while typing this up was epic...made it flow so much better.
For my twin Kelly...you rock!
She's not Nikki
Ellie Monroe. Kate Beckett detested that name for all that it was worth. How dare Castle suggest her as the actress to play Nikki Heat? Just because she whored herself out and gave Castle what he wanted. Just because Kate had morals and didn't want to play his "Who do you want to play you in the movie?" game. Every time Castle goes and gets himself another lay, Kate's heart slowly breaks and jealousy begins to rear its ugly head.
She was Nikki Heat. Not some stupid bimbo from Los Angeles. As much as Kate didn't want to admit it, she loves the little bit of fame that came with being Richard Castle's inspiration. She couldn't let him know that of course, or the guys at work. She thinks Lanie may have a clue, but she's been trying desperately to hide it. She'll admit it, she's scared.
Castle has a way of getting underneath her skin and breaking down her walls that no man has ever been able to do. Will got close once, but he ran off because he couldn't handle all the drama. Rick didn't run; he dug deeper into her past and into her shell only to draw her out to understand the woman she had become. Kate had a wild past and her carefree spirit was hindered by her mother's death. It was a constant battle for her daily to keep at least one wall up. It's not until women like Ellie Monroe come around that an entire force field would be erected in front of her emotions. Castle fought through that too.
Kate doesn't know why or how he does it. Maybe one day she won't have to rebuild the walls when he tears them down. Kate Beckett will then be able to tell Castle who she really is; and then, maybe then will she not be Nikki Heat.
Please R&R I love feedback. I also love writing for Kate Beckett. She is one of the deeper characters I have had the pleasure to write fan fic for.