He was headed down what had now become a clear beaten path from the hatch to the beach. It had become routine for him. Wake up, think about what a living hell his life had become, consider not moving for a day to see what they'd all do and then sighing loudly before forcing himself up to deal with whatever new crisis the day would bring. He'd grown accustomed to starting each day by taking a long walk and making sure he made at least visual contact with each castaway, looking and watching for any signs of sickness or a new injury and most of all, taking a mental head count to make sure they were all still there.
He was deep in thought when he heard the light cries of the baby and looked up. He took in the sight for a moment and then chuckled lightly. Claire was sitting on the path with baby Aaron nestled safely in-between her bended knees and chest as she tried unsuccessfully to tie her shoe. She couldn't reach past the baby and she wasn't willing to put the baby on the ground. He shuffled his feet so as to not startle her before he spoke.
"Looks like you could use another set of hands." Jack offered with a light laugh.
"Always, but definitely right now. Stupid shoe lace won't stay tied. I tripped over it and nearly fell with the baby. Would you mind?" Claire responded as she held the infant out to Jack.
Jack gently took the boy from her and cradled him in his arms.
"It's been a few weeks since I've looked him over." Jack replied as he pulled the blankets back from the squirming baby.
He was amazed at how well the baby was thriving in these conditions. He was plump and healthy and had a big smile for Jack.
"You are certainly the happiest island baby I've ever seen. Of course you are also the only island baby I've ever seen." Jack said to Aaron in a soft, kind voice as he continued to move his hands gently over the infant, inspecting him from head to toe.
The baby cooed and smiled at him, making Jack smile.
"He likes you. You're very good with children. You really don't have any?" Claire asked.
"No. I never had the time I guess. Children are my favorite patients though. They're genuine and they don't complain even when everything medicine has taught you says they should be screaming. I get the feeling this guy likes everyone though, not just me. He's a healthy, happy baby." Jack commented.
"Maybe you like him just a little bit too?" Clair asked as Jack helped her up with his free hand.
"Who doesn't like babies? They can make you forget all your troubles, even a shit hole like this." Jack said and handed the baby back to Claire.
"Language." Claire reminded him.
"Sorry. Sorry Aaron." Jack said.
"You seem tense today Jack. Is everything okay?" Claire asked.
"Yeah, just another day in paradise right?" Jack replied with thick sarcasm.
"I suppose. I was coming to find you. There's a problem I think." Claire said softly, not wanting to make his already bad mood worse.
"What's wrong? Someone get sand in their eye? Or could it be my personal favorite, fell asleep in the sun again?" Jack sighed rolling his eyes.
"No, it's Kate." Claire said.
"Kate? What's wrong with Kate?" Jack asked, the sarcasm replaced with genuine concern. Jack knew Kate wasn't one to be sick or whine or complain about anything.
"I'm not sure Jack. I think she's injured herself and is trying to hide it." Claire said.
"What makes you think that? I saw her yesterday. She looked fine." Jack argued.
"When was the last time you saw Kate without a long-sleeved shirt?" Claire asked.
"She's always got a shirt on over her sleeveless shirts when she knows she's going to be exposed to the sun. It's smart." Jack continued to argue.
"Buttoned all the way up to her neck Jack? Never takes it off, even at night and she's favoring her left side. I walked up on her while she was looking at something on the left side of her chest. She tried to cover herself, but I saw the redness before she managed to get her shirt closed back up." Claire said.
"Okay. I'll check it out." Jack said and began leading Claire and Aaron back down the path to the beach.
"Don't tell her I told you. Okay?" Claire asked.
"I won't." Jack said as he quickly reached out and steadied her as she slipped.
"I'm clumsy today." Claire laughed, embarrassed by the near miss.
"No, the ground is pretty wet and slippery. Why don't you let me carry him until we get to the beach? I've got better shoes." Jack offered.
Claire handed the baby over to Jack and they slowly made their way to the beach, making small talk and for the first time since he had awakened that day, Jack felt at ease. He knew he had to stop letting their situation eat at him to the point of not wanting to get out of bed, but he could feel the island closing in on him. The feeling of being trapped and the reality that he could spend the rest of his life this way made him wonder how long it would be before he finally snapped. He had to learn to relax he knew that, but every time he had allowed himself to relax about their situation or about how much he could trust anyone beyond himself, something bad happened. After he and Sawyer and Kate had managed to escape and make it back safely he swore he would never let his guard down again.
When they reached the edge of the beach Jack handed Aaron back to Claire. He seemed to hesitate as if he wasn't quite ready to let go of the baby or wanted to say something or do something. Instead he just smiled and thanked Claire for warning him about Kate and for the company.
He began his walk along the beach, saying good morning and talking to those who wanted or needed to chat for just a few minutes. He spotted Kate down by the water. She and Sawyer appeared to be digging for something in the sand. He watched her intently for a few minutes. Claire was right. Her shirt was buttoned to the top and she was favoring her left side. He walked down to the spot where the two of them were crouched down digging through the wet sand.
"Hey." He said flatly.
They both looked up at him. Kate smiled and stood while Sawyer rolled his eyes, sighed and also stood.
"What's up doc? Hatch fever settin in?" Sawyer asked.
Jack didn't respond. He wasn't in the mood to verbally spar with Sawyer.
"Haven't seen you in a few days." Kate said.
"I saw you yesterday. You just didn't see me. You were busy doing whatever it is the two of you are doing. What are you doing?" Jack asked, looking at the pile of seashells the two had accumulated.
"People are bored. I thought maybe if we got enough of these collected we could I don't know make stuff out of them. Give them something to do." Kate said.
"Good idea." Jack said as he continued to look her over, the concern in his eyes evident.
"What?" She asked.
"Are you feeling okay Kate? You're looking a little flushed." He asked as his hand gently brushed over the side of her face.
"I tend to have that affect on women." Sawyer answered.
"Shut up Sawyer." Jack stated flatly.
He continued to look at her, her face was warm to his touch. She had a slight fever.
"Well Kate?" Jack insisted.
"I'm fine. I've just been in the sun too long." She lied.
"Yeah, well how about you come with me anyway and let me check you out." Jack suggested.
"No. That's not necessary." Kate resisted.
"Kate." Jack started to insist, but was interrupted by Sawyer.
"Can't you take a hint? She doesn't want to go play doctor with you." Sawyer said.
Jack started to walk away, but he knew something was wrong. He could feel it and he knew he had to stand firm with her for her own good.
"Kate, it's hot out today. How about you take that shirt off?" Jack said.
"Excuse me?" Kate said as though she were shocked by his suggestion.
"You heard me. Take your shirt off. I know you've got a tank top on underneath so stop acting like I'm suggesting something perverted. Take it off, cool down." Jack insisted.
"I don't want to take my shirt off Jack!" Kate snapped at him.
He knew now that something was definitely not right.
"Take it off Kate, or I will." Jack said sternly. She knew that tone and knew that he would do exactly what he said he'd do.
"What the hell is your problem Doc?" Sawyer asked as he grabbed Jack by the shoulder.
"Sawyer, I'm only going to say this one more time. Shut up. This doesn't concern you." Jack ordered as he shook him off.
Sawyer too recognized the tone and while he wasn't afraid of Jack, he didn't want to go to blows with him either over something that he sensed was most likely in Kate's best interest, based on Jack's behavior so he backed off and let Jack continue to badger her.
"Jack, I…." Kate stammered, realizing she was cornered.
"What's the big deal Freckles?" Sawyer asked.
"It's not a big deal. I just don't appreciate being told what to do." Kate lied.
"Doc here is worked up over whatever must be under your shirt and come to think of it, I haven't seen you without that shirt for a few days. Seems to me, whatever you're covering up must be a big deal." Sawyer prodded.
"Stay out of this Sawyer!" Kate yelled.
Jack approached her and reached out for her shirt. She looked at him angrily and pushed his hands away.
"Okay! I'll do it! Just give me some space." She agreed and began unbuttoning her shirt.
She unbuttoned her shirt and opened it up quickly to show both men the black tank top she had on underneath and closed it quickly. Not quick enough though. Jack noticed the deep red coloring on the left side of her chest.
"Take it all the way off Kate." Jack insisted.
Kate finally gave in and let the long sleeved shirt slip off her shoulders and let it drop to the ground. She stood in front of Jack and Sawyer looking irritated with both of them. Jack studied her shoulders, chest and arms. She wasn't wearing a bra and her left breast was slightly larger than the right one. That concerned him, but the fierce redness extending from the top left and left side of her tank top scared him. He reached for the top of her tank top only to have Sawyer jerk his hand away angrily.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? You just going to help yourself?" Sawyer protested.
Jack shook him off again and swung around ready to hit him stopped only by the obvious concern for Kate in Sawyers' eyes.
"Sawyer, look at her chest. Surely that doesn't look normal to even you!" Jack yelled.
Sawyer studied her just as Jack had and realized Jack was right. Something wasn't right, but that didn't help the fact that Sawyer wasn't comfortable with Jack looking at or touching Kate's breast and especially not in front of him.
"Okay, it looks bad, but do you really think you're the best person to be groping at her in such a sensitive area?" Sawyer objected.
"I'm sorry, was I absent the day another doctor showed up on this island? Grow up Sawyer!" Jack told him.
"Stop it! He's right Sawyer, he needs to look at it. I'm not feeling too great Jack." Kate admitted.
"I can see that. What happened?" Jack asked.
"About 4 days ago I was picking fruit in a tree. I slipped and something in the tree branch caught me right under my left breast and kind of tore into it all the way to top." Kate admitted, obviously uncomfortable discussing the injury with the two men.
Both men grimaced when she described what had happened and Jack was immediately concerned about what could have been on the branch. Was he dealing with more than just an infected wound? Realizing the sensitivity of the situation he picked up her shirt and gently placed it over her shoulders. He was in full blown doctor mode and she was his patient, a special patient, but still his patient. He kept his hands gently on her shoulders and looked into her eyes.
"It's going to be okay Kate. Let's go to the hatch and get you fixed up." Jack said getting a nod from her.
"Sawyer would you go and find Sun and ask her if she can come help me out with this?" Jack asked.
"Sure, anything else?" Sawyer asked his tone suggesting that he was as worried about her as Jack was.
"No." Jack answered and then added, "She's going to be okay Sawyer."
With that he and Kate began the trek up the path to the hatch. Kate was silent the entire way, not because she was dreading exposing her breast to Jack, but because she didn't just let him take care of it when it happened. It was a stupid thing to do, regardless of how she feels about him.
They entered the hatch and Jack escorted her back to the room where they had both taken care of Sawyer. He walked to the end of the room, opened a drawer and pulled out a clean white pillow case. He walked over to Kate and handed her the pillow case.
"Take everything from the waist up off and use that to cover yourself. I'm going to go wash my hands. Don't worry. I'll make sure nobody comes in that you don't want in here." He reassured her.
She took the pillowcase from him and looked up at him. "Vertically or horizontally?" Kate asked.
"What?" He asked confused by the question.
"The pillowcase. Should I cover myself with it sideways or long ways? Do you have another one I can put over my head?" She joked making him smile.
"Whichever makes you feel the most comfortable and try to relax, it's going to be okay." He said.
He left the room, closing the door behind him. He spoke briefly to Locke about what was going on and Locke assured him he would keep everyone but Sun out. He went to the bathroom and washed his hands and tried to prepare himself for what he was going to see and hoped she hadn't let it go too far. What was he going to do? Cut off her breast to save her? "Yeah Jack, that'll work." He mumbled sarcastically to himself.
He made his way back to the room where Kate was and knocked on the door. "Can I come in?" He asked.
He listened for her reply and slowly opened the door. He entered the room fully and closed the door behind him and locked it. Kate was lying on the bed wearing nothing but her jeans and had the pillow case draped over the top of her. He could tell she was uneasy.
"Are you okay? Do you want me to wait for Sun before I take a look?" He asked.
"No, it's okay. Do your thing doctor." She said and sighed heavily.
He sat on the side of the bed and gently moved the pillow case over to the right until Kate's entire left side was exposed to him. What he saw disturbed him. Her breast was red and swollen and a deep, angry looking scratch ran from the underside of her breast, over the nipple and halfway up. Where the scratch started on the underside was a deeper looking wound that was almost purple and very swollen. He could tell that was the source of whatever was causing the problem and knew he was going to have open it up and drain the infection out of it. He also knew it wasn't going to be pleasant and decided to wait on Sun before he proceeded. He gently pressed on the extended red areas to test for swelling. The area around her breast was beginning swell and was sensitive to his touch as indicated by the face she made when he pressed on the area.
"Sorry. Can you put your arm up over your head for me?" He asked as he gently lifted her left arm and pushed it back in the direction he wanted her to take it.
He examined the area under her arm and to the side of her breast. It too was beginning to swell and was sensitive to the touch. He looked her in the eyes and gently pressed on the area he knew he was going to have to open up. She screamed out in pain. He gave her an apologetic look and pulled the pillow case back over her and sighed heavily.
"It's bad isn't it?" Kate asked.
He wanted to scold her and tell her that it's only bad because she didn't come to him when it first happened, but he could see she was embarrassed, afraid and hurting and all he wanted to do was try to reassure her.
"It's not good Kate, but I think I got to it in time. What I'm going to have to do is going to cause you quite a bit of pain." He said with kind, apologetic eyes.
"Don't worry about it Jack. It's my fault for not coming to you when it happened so I deserve whatever pain you're going to inflict on me." She said.
"I don't know about that Kate, but I do wish you had come to me four days ago. I understand why you didn't, but it scares me to think about how much longer you would've let this go if I hadn't been tipped off that you were hurt." He said in a concerned tone.
She appreciated his sensitivity. He wasn't always the most sensitive man, but he seemed to be able to recognize when a situation demanded sensitivity and came through.
"So who ratted me out? Was it Claire?" Kate asked.
"It doesn't matter who it was." Jack told her.
"I'm sorry Jack. I know I should've come to you when it first happened." She apologized.
"I understand. It's a little embarrassing for you." He said.
"No, it's not that, not really." She admitted.
"If you weren't embarrassed to let me examine you, then why would you let his go? It has to be painful." He asked, still keeping his voice calm.
"The truth?" She asked.
"Please." He chuckled.
"It's just that you and I, us, the things we do and the feelings we deny. I guess I always imagined or hoped the first time I exposed my breasts to you would be in the heat of passion, not some sterile, clinical situation. I didn't want it to be like this." She admitted taking him completely by surprise.
He was quiet for a moment, his cheeks slightly flushed and his eyes looking down, away from her. He seemed to be replaying the moment over and over in his head. He finally made eye contact with her again.
"This is medical situation to me and nothing more." He told her.
"I know." She sighed.
"But, I'd love a rain check on that heat of passion thing." He said with an ornery grin making her relax and grin back at him.
"Sure, but after this you'll probably be repulsed by my breasts." She answered.
"Trust me Kate. That is highly unlikely." He laughed.
They enjoyed a few moments of silence between them, neither really knowing where to take the conversation since they had just basically made a date for sex sometime in the near future.
"I'm sorry Jack." She said softly.
"Why are you sorry?" He asked.
"For screwing up again, you have enough to deal with without me adding to your stress." She apologized.
He looked at her with his dark eyes, eyes that seemed to look right into her soul. He seemed to be deep in thought, wanting to say something, but not being able to get the words from his brain to his mouth. He finally dropped his eyes from hers and then looked back up at her.
"Don't be sorry Kate. You don't add stress to my life. You keep it interesting." He told her and winked at her making her laugh a little.
He began preparing the area on her breast he was going to cut open. He applied alcohol where he was planning on making his cut. He knew it burned bad enough to make her at least gasp, but she just looked at him, the pain evident in her face. He covered every part of her left side with a clean white cloth except for the area he was going to cut into. He sat back again and looked at her.
"Well, now all we need is Sun." He said.
"Why?" Kate asked.
"It's going to hurt Kate. I need someone here that can focus on you and getting you through it so I can focus on what I'm doing. If we were in a normal environment I'd numb the entire area with a local anesthetic, which wouldn't be pleasant either, but not nearly as unpleasant as this is going to be." He explained.
"Okay, you're starting to freak me out Jack. Just what exactly are you going to do?" She asked.
He gently placed his index finger on the area he had prepared and tried to describe the small, but painful surgical procedure he was about to perform.
"I'm going to make a small cut right here and then another right here. It will look like an "X" with the center being the deepest part of the cut. Then I'm going to squeeze out as much of the infection as I can and cut deeper if I have to. Then I'll dig around and see if there is anything in there and then pack the hole with gauze." He explained.
"I'm getting sick just hearing about it. No stitches?" She asked.
"No, it's going to have to heal from the inside out. I'll remove the packing every day, clean it out and repack it. Eventually, there will be no hole left to pack." He told her.
"I have to endure that every day?" She asked almost whining.
"Yes, every day and you're going to stay right here so I can be sure you aren't out climbing trees and getting the wound infected again." He told her.
"Stay here for how long?" She asked. He could sense the argument getting ready to start.
"I don't know Kate, as long as it takes. Are you going to fight me on this?" He asked.
"Of course I am." She answered and winked at him, making him laugh lightly and shake his head.
They heard a light knock on the door. Jack opened it just enough to poke his head through. Sun was there with Sawyer right behind her. He opened the door to let Sun enter the room and closed the door before Sawyer could open his mouth. Sun looked at Kate and could see that Jack was ready to do whatever had to be done.
"What do you want me to do?" Sun asked.
"I want you to go sit by her head and hold onto her left hand. She needs to keep her arm up like that. Talk to her, do whatever you have to do to try to keep her calm." Jack instructed.
Kate could see he was dreading what he was about to do. He sat down beside Kate and looked over the small tray he had set up beside the bed, taking a mental inventory of where everything was. She reached out and touched the top of his left hand. He looked away from the tray and over to her.
"It's okay Jack. Do what you have to do, just make me well. Okay?" She said.
He nodded at her as he placed her hand on the lower part of his left thigh.
"You squeeze as hard as you need to and I'll do my best to get through this as quickly as possible." He told her.
She nodded at him and watched him closely as he picked up a small blade from the tray and sterilized it. He moved over her and brought the blade to the affected area. He looked up. She was watching him closely.
"Close your eyes." He told her.
As soon as her eyes closed he brought the blade down and made the first cut. She cried out in pain and squeezed his leg so hard he was sure her handprint would be tattooed on his leg for at least a week. He shut her cries out and made the next cut, barely conscious of the vice grip like hold she had on his leg. He had to shut her out completely or he wouldn't be able to finish. He put the blade down and grabbed the clean cloth from the tray to wipe away the blood and pus that was oozing out of the opening he had just created. He began to squeeze and the infection continue to pour out of the hole. Sun had to turn her head away, the sight of the green and yellow ooze making her queasy. He looked up at her briefly.
"You okay?" He asked.
She nodded and he focused again on the opening. He squeezed harder, making Kate scream, squeeze his leg even harder and begin to fight against him. He moved himself up onto the bed straddling her. He lowered a portion of his weight onto her lower body to keep her still, while still allowing her to hang onto to his leg. The wound continued to ooze infection. He picked up the blade again and cut deeper, making her scream louder, so loud he could no longer tune it out.
Sawyer and Locke could hear Kate's cries from the other side of the door. Sawyer was pacing back and forth and the last cry sent him toward the door.
"It won't do any good. It's locked." Locke told him.
"What the hell is he doing to her!" Sawyer yelled.
"Probably whatever he has to in order to help her." Locke said calmly.
"Does he have to be so cruel about it? Listen to her. It sounds like he's killing her." Sawyer complained.
"If it's this hard on you from this side of the door try to imagine what it's like for him. It's no secret how he feels about her. Surely even you've noticed." Locke reasoned.
"Noticed what? How her world glows about 3 shades brighter every time he talks to her. How he loses the ability to form complete sentences or make a rational decision where she's concerned? Heck, a person would have to be blind not to notice." Sawyer commented.
"But you aren't about to give up the fight are you?" Locke asked.
"Nah, it's not like that. I know where Freckles' heart lies, but its fun to irritate him. He's such an easy target and all." Sawyer lied as another cry echoed from the other room.
Kate's screams were getting to Jack. He had to stop for a moment and refocus. He pushed the blade in a little bit deeper, releasing a blob of blood and pus with so much force it shot onto the front of his shirt. He had found the source of the infection and released the pressure. It was too deep to have been caused by the initial scrape so he began to dig around for the foreign object causing the problem. He continued to squeeze against her screams and her body jerking violently underneath him. He wiped the area clean one more time and then he saw it. A thick black splinter or piece of bark about ½-inch long embedded in the tender breast tissue. He grabbed the tweezers off the tray, fished around for a moment and pulled them away releasing a new river of pus from the new hole opened up by pulling out the piece of wood. He set the tweezers and the offending object on the tray and continued to work on getting the infection drained out of her. Removing the piece of wood seemed to be the answer as his final squeeze produced nothing but blood. He stopped for a moment and cleaned the wound thoroughly. He wanted to look at Kate and apologize for hurting her but he had to stay focused. He began packing the wound he had created with gauze.
Kate had stopped fighting him and the grip she had on his leg wasn't nearly as intense. With the wound packed as tight as he could get it, he cut the gauze leaving just enough sticking out so that he could pull it out later. He was finished. He sat back on his heels and looked at Kate. Her face was tear-streaked and her eyes were shut. She was whimpering and shaking. He pulled her hand off his leg and moved off of her. He found a clean white t-shirt in the pile of clothes in one of the drawers and brought it over to the bed. He pushed the tray and the mess that went with it away from the bed. He bent over and looked at Sun who with her eyes closed was still holding tightly to Kate's hand.
"Sun, are you still with me?" He asked.
She nodded as a tear escaped down her cheek. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder and she looked at him. She could see he was upset and obviously out of doctor mode and back into Jack mode, the Jack who cared more for Kate than he would ever admit to anyone.
"Help me put this shirt on her and we'll be done." He told her.
She switched places with Jack. He held her from behind while Sun maneuvered the t-shirt over her head, carefully putting each arm through the holes. Kate was still shaking and whimpering and the longer it went on the more upset he became. When Sun finished getting the shirt on her, Jack scooted himself away from her and let her head come to rest gently on the pillow. He grabbed a clean cloth and handed it to Sun.
"Will you please get that wet for me and get me one of those sedatives from the medicine supplies?" He asked.
She nodded and hurried out of the room. Locke looked up when he heard the door open. He started to speak, but could see that Sun was in a hurry to get whatever it was Jack needed. He watched her come back through with a glass of water and a wet rag and realized that Jack was done with the painful part and would now start on the healing part. He'd watched the doctor go through the same routine with so many others, including himself and wondered if the man had a breaking point, but he knew the answer to that. Losing Kate was the one thing that would break him. Locke shook his head and said a quick prayer that she would be okay, not only for her sake, but all their sakes.
Sun handed the sedative and the water to Jack. He helped Kate sit up and handed her the pill. She didn't question him. She put the pill in her mouth, drank some water and he helped her lay back down, wincing against the pain in her chest. The whimpering and shaking was starting to subside. Jack gently moved the cool cloth over her face. He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.
"I'm sorry Kate. I had to get all of it. It's over now. Try to sleep now." He said softly.
Sawyer was watching from the door. Sun walked by and he tried to stop her, but she was feeling sick and rushed by him. He watched her head into the hatch bathroom and turned back to watch Jack attempting to soothe Kate. The sedative took affect and she finally settled down and drifted off to sleep. Jack relaxed back into his chair, cupping his hands over his face before running them through over his cropped hair.
"She gonna make it?" Sawyer asked startling him.
Jack stood, approached him and led him out of the room and closed the door behind them. They walked over to where Locke sat. He started to speak when he noticed Sun coming out of the bathroom, obviously having just gotten sick. She walked toward them and didn't look all that stable. Jack put his hands gently on her arms and she looked up at him.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you help me with that in your condition. You should go lie down on the couch. It's nice and cool in there." Jack told her.
"It's okay Jack. I wanted to help. I'm fine." She told him and began to walk away.
She was light-headed and stumbled. Sawyer grabbed her and kept her from falling.
"Yeah, you're great. Maybe you should take the doc's advice and go lie down." Sawyer told her and led her into the room with the couch.
Sawyer reentered the room and walked back over to where Jack and Locke stood.
"Is she okay?" Jack asked.
"Yeah, I guess. She's layin down, just like the doctor ordered." Sawyer said.
"Thanks." Jack said.
"No problem. Now back to Kate. Is she okay?" Sawyer asked.
"She should be fine in a few days." Jack told both of them.
"That's good news." Locke offered.
"Yeah, she's lucky. Another day or two and…." He said before turning around and kicking the small metal trash receptacle across the room, making both men jump.
"Feel better doc?" Sawyer asked.
"Not really. A splinter, it started out as nothing more than a goddamn splinter!" Jack yelled.
"Take it easy Jack. You just said she was going to be okay." Locke said as he tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Jack quickly shrugged him off.
"How many times do I have to emphasize how important it is to not let one little scratch or scrape go unattended? Do you see now that I'm not just being the anal, sterile doctor but that we are living in less than favorable conditions here?" Jack asked, obviously shaken by the ordeal with Kate.
"Hell doc, I've been stabbed and shot and you brought me back from the dead both times. I guess people think you can fix anything." Sawyer offered.
"Yeah, well that's stupid, not to mention suicidal. Not everybody on this island is as strong and healthy as you are and most wouldn't have survived either of those wounds. It would be great if I didn't have to keep watching my friends die or keep bringing my friends back from the brink of death. I'm tired. I can't do it anymore." Jack said and walked back toward the room Kate was in.
"Did you just call me your friend?" Sawyer asked sarcastically making Jack stop and turn around to look at him.
"Yeah I guess I did." Jack answered.
He didn't give Sawyer a chance to respond. He entered the room and closed the door. Locke shook his head.
"What?" Sawyer asked.
"Nothing, I was just thinking how close he is to snapping and how a friend would step in and find a way to make him relax." Locke commented.
"So what am I supposed to do? Take him fishing?" Sawyer remarked.
"That's up to you, but like you said, he's saved your life twice, maybe its time to return the favor." Locke pushed.
"Save your advice for young Luke in there Obi Won, I ain't interested in being pals with the doc. I gotta go. This place still creeps me out." Sawyer complained and left.
Jack sat and watched Kate sleep. After an hour or so, he nodded off. The hand on his shoulder caused him to jerk his head up and around quickly.
"Easy doc, you're gonna give yourself a whiplash." Sawyer said.
"What do you want Sawyer?" He asked in an aggravated tone.
"Everybody's all worked up over you so let's get out of here." Sawyer said obviously uncomfortable with the idea.
"I'm fine and I'm not leaving Kate." He argued.
"How'd I know you were going to say that?" Sawyer sighed rolling his eyes.
Jack didn't respond. He put his head down and rubbed at his temples.
"How long you figure she'll be out?" Sawyer asked.
"I don't know, probably the rest of the day and with the help of another sedative, the rest of the night." Jack answered.
"See, she ain't gonna know whether or not you're here holding her hand, expressing your undying love for her so let's go." Sawyer pleaded.
"Why do you do that?" Jack snapped.
"Why do you do that?" Sawyer snapped back.
"Do what?" Jack asked angrily.
"Beat yourself up over everything and everyone and make yourself sick with worry and never take care of yourself by just relaxing when there is no reason you can't?" Sawyer asked in an accusatory tone.
"Because I can't." Jack answered.
"Can't or won't?" Sawyer asked.
"No Sawyer, I can't! Okay!" Jack yelled making Kate stir.
"Why can't you? Is the sun not going to rise tomorrow if the Mighty Jack takes a night off?" Sawyer asked.
"Shut up. Look, I don't want to fight with you. I just want to be left alone. Could you please just go?" Jack said.
"Can't do it doc. The way I see it, I'm due for another accident of some sort and well, I'm screwed if you've keeled over dead because you wouldn't take a break from being everybody's savior." Sawyer told him.
Jack jumped up from his chair, grabbed Sawyer by the front of the shirt and pushed him up against the wall.
"Savior? Is that you think? You think Boone and Shannon and Libby and Ana Lucia consider me their savior?" Jack seethed through clenched teeth, his eyes crazed with anger.
"Of course, I should've known them dyin was your fault. Hell doc, how about we just blame the whole damn plane crash on you." Sawyer replied.
"It must be nice to be you Sawyer, never giving a damn about anyone but yourself, never caring who lives or dies on this island as long as you're the first in line to rummage through their stuff." Jack accused.
"Yeah, that's right Jack, I don't care. That's why I'm here." Sawyer shot back.
Jack loosened his grip on him and slowly backed away.
"Look Sawyer, I appreciate the gesture, really, but I'm fine. Please, just leave me alone." Jack said quietly.
"Doc, if I walk out of here without you I'm going to catch hell from baldy and the tribe of volunteers who have lined up to take your place beside Freckles for awhile. So, just give it up and come with me." Sawyer explained.
"I can't." Jack said.
"Why can't you? Give me one good reason why you can't and I'll leave." Sawyer pushed,
"Every time I let myself relax, even just a little, something bad happens. I can't bury another friend. It's insane." He admitted.
"It seems to me the odds should be in your favor that nothing bad will happen this time and hell doc, if you don't take a break the next friend we'll be burying will be you." Sawyer said.
"Would that really be so terrible?" Jack asked.
"I guess that depends on how you feel about spending the afterlife knowing I'm here with Freckles and you ain't." Sawyer remarked making Jack laugh.