The darkness rises up,
Curling around my body
Swallowing me.
It wraps its long fingers
Around my mind,
Around my heart,
Around my soul.
It squeezes and squeezes
The life out of everything
That is me.
Until there is nothing left.
I am but an empty shell.
I pretend I am alright,
I smile and I laugh,
Even though inside I am dying.
I let everyone believe I am still me.
Only I know the truth,
Only I know that what used to be me is gone,
Replaced by an imposter,
Replaced by nothing.
I still look and sound like me,
I still smile
And even talk like me
But I no longer AM me.
Or is it, I am the new me,
The me who is empty,
The me who lies awake at night
Crying herself to sleep.
When I smile its fake
Because I no longer feel that
Happiness and joy that I used too.
Will things ever change?
Will I ever become myself again
Or will I stay like this?
Empty, cold and lonely?
Feeling like there's nothing to live for?
I wish it could be like before,
That I could be happy instead of just pretending.
But honestly I don't think it will ever happen.