Her footsteps were heavy and dragging as she walked absent-minded towards the transport out of this strange wonderful world she once thought would become her new home…
The first rays of sunlight broke through the steep crevasse, just enough to give a golden sheen to the heavy atmosphere around her.
Derrit slept on her arms and Mia held on to her hand, yawning every now and then. A sad looking young maid followed her close, helping Lady Serina carry the few possessions she'd packed before he woke up.
She didn't even dare say his name again…
It hurt too much…
She had loved him too much…
And now she was leaving. Going back to Taanab, away from the man that had promised her a new future, in a new world.
But it wasn't to be. Sometimes true love isn't enough to endure abuse and neglect from your loved one's family.
And how cruel his family could be… she never believed it to be possible to experience so much disdain from another sentient being, but his mother had been relentless in her hatred for that dark skinned, near-human that had dared to seduce and wear her only son's engagement ring!
He was blinded to the depth of that foul woman's feelings towards her. After all, she was his mother…
But Serina thought she could be happy, no matter what! Their love would be enough! It had to be!
What a fool she'd been… the illusion of love's invincibility was a powerful thing and in that man's arms she swore she would defeat an army by sheer will alone, just to stay with him.
Him, with eyes like a summer sky and a smile as bright as midday sunshine!
Him, with a heart of gold and a witty spirit.
Him, that had made her believe in love again.
Him…
Lying alone on their bed, unknowing of her departure.
Leaving like this was akin to cowardice, but if she'd stayed until he woke...If she had tried to say goodbye… would she had gathered enough strength to leave?
If she had just told him the truth. How that cruel woman had cornered her and threatened the unborn child Serina had just discovered she was carrying…
How could she smile while saying those words? How could someone be that heartless?
"No mother can protect their child all the time… accidents happen… wouldn't it be a tragedy if something awful ever came to happen to that halfbreed you carry inside you? How terrible…"
Her horror had sent her into a panic. The need to keep the child she was carrying under her breaking heart was, in the end, more powerful than the love she had for that man.
She could have told him, no doubt. But she wouldn't be able to live with having him torn between their love, their unborn child, his undying love for his homeworld and his family.
Keeping him would be the most selfish act she could undertake. Better to leave and go back home, even if it meant running away like a thief in the middle of the night…
He would hate her, that much she was sure, but he would forget about her faster like that. Maybe one day he'd find someone else to love again. Someone acceptable… Some pretty baseline human who'd satisfy his family's xenophobia!
"Amma*, where are we going?" Mia asked with a sad, puzzled expression.
"Home, sweetie. We're going back to the farm." Serina tried to sound calm and collected, but she felt like falling to her knees and cry her heart out.
"Why? Is it because of the mean lady?" The little girl insisted.
Serina felt her breath get caught in her throat.
"Yes honey…" She stopped, looking in her daughter's eyes. "Mia, imeda tamee, I know you liked him very much, but I need you to promise me one thing."
Mia gazed at her mother with all the seriousness a small girl of only seven could transmit.
"What, Amma?"
"I know it won't make much sense now, but as you grow older you'll understand it better." Her eyes were blinking, as she tried to avoid the tears. "You cannot say his name ever again, do you understand?"
"I can't say Ca…" Her mother gently covered the little girl's lips, before his name escaped her. She shook her head, shushing her softly. "Sorry…" Mia whispered.
"It's alright, amaynee. I know it's going to be hard, but you need to remember what I said."
"Ok…"
"My lady? We've arrived at the spaceport…" The young woman announced.
Serina looked to the place where the shuttle that would take her back home was stationed. In a few minutes she would be departing to never come back.
She loved Taanab. It was the one thing she'd asked him: to be able to visit her homeworld whenever nostalgia called her back… But now she was leaving a piece of her in this world.
She was leaving her heart with that man…
"Thank you, Thya." She reached her free arm to exchange a last embrace with that young woman who had been a true friend and a trusted confidant through her ordeal.
Thya let out a sob, having grown attached to the Taanabian woman and her two children.
"I'm going to miss you all." She choked up, picking up Mia and holding her so close she could feel the child's heartbeat. The tears began pouring from her grey eyes. "It's not fair…" she sobbed.
Serina lowered her head. She couldn't cry.
Taanabians don't cry out loud, she had to remind herself.
The younger woman settled the pouting child back on the floor and watched on has Serina headed towards the shuttle. She saw her sitting the children and strapping them for security.
Serina waved at Thya once more before taking her place by the viewport. The low rumble of the engines signaled the takeoff procedures had begun.
A sudden feeling of light weightlessness told her they were departing.
The red and white shuttle gained altitude and Serina could see the edges of the crevasse where the city had been built on. The city became distant as the shuttle advanced. She pressed her forehead to the transparisteel, gazing on the fields and mountains in the horizon.
The dream of true love was as distant as the planet's surface, now that the shuttle was breaking through the edges of the atmosphere into the cold, dark space.
It was over.
Serina took her hand to her womb, caressing it slowly.
Would this child one day understand?
Would he forgive his mother for taking him away from his father?
Because she was certain it was a boy.
She had dreamed of a young boy with her eyes and complexion, and his father's spirit and stubbornness.
This child would need a good, strong name. And she knew exactly the name to give him…
"I'm gonna call you Wes! Like my grandfather. He's a good, brave man. Just like you'll be one day." She whispered to her belly. "Hyam too! Like my father. Two good names from two exceptional men. My little Wes Hyam Janson…"
She sighed heavily, reaching her arm to rake her fingers through each of her children's hair. Mia was trying not to fall asleep, leaning into her, and Derrit had woken up momentarily, but he too had gone back to sleep. Leaning back with a heavy sigh, Serina closed her eyes wishing for sleep to alleviate the pain in her heart. Silent tears trailed down her cheeks, until that blessed slumber finally got a hold of her.
" … You see, sometimes we mistake passion for love, and our passion was powerful and beautiful! But it wasn't enough.
We're too different, you and I. I fooled myself, thinking we could make it work, but in the end, the little things were the ones that would ultimately cause our demise…
You were the most beautiful thing that happened to me in a long time. Remember me, as I'll remember you: dreamy eyes and a smile filled with hope.
But let go. Love again. Live your life to the fullest!
One day, my memory will be like an image passing by…
I'm sorry I couldn't be all you wanted me to be. I'm sorry to leave you this way, but my world is calling for me, you see? My longing for the Taanabian plains was making me wither.
I wished I could love you as you deserve to be loved, but it wasn't to be
Goodbye
Serina."
He stood as if time had stopped.
She had left him…
The datapad slipped from his hands to the cold floor where he'd fallen to his knees…
Tears streamed from his blue eyes. Her engagement ring was there, on the floor, by the side of the fallen datapad.
Outside, the morning lights shined bright. But in his heart something had died…
She was gone…
Her children were gone…
He was all alone…