Disclaimer: Rizzoli & Isles do not belong to me and I'm only borrowing the characters to go in the direction which I wish the show would go. No copyright intended and kudos to the creators, they are pure genius.

Summary: Set after 2x15, will eventually lead to Rizzles – Jane is dealing with the aftermath of shooting Doyle and Maura's feeling towards her now.

Update: So this is my first R&I fic and the first time writing in a long time. I've realised the chapters are a little short but they are getting longer as it goes on, just need to develop the POV intro bits a little bit before we can dive right into the story. Reviews are lovely if you have the time, lets me correct anything glaring wrong as I'm editing this myself (thanks for the comment about the full stop, completely missed that and now corrected!)

Chapter 1

Jane replayed the scene in her head for the millionth time. Why had she let Maura be bait? Why hadn't she seen Doyle drop the clip out of his gun? Taken in the horrified look on Maura's face before she shot? She tried every time to think how she could have done things differently and it all came down to the same answer. She fucked up. She had told Gabriel, Agent Dean, about Doyle and in doing so had set things in motion without possibly knowing the outcome. She should've known though, how could she possibly think telling an FBI agent about a wanted felon would result in anything different other than him pursuing Doyle? She had fucked up and now she was paying the price for it.

"Jane?" Korsak broke her out of her reverie. She had no idea what he was asking or how long he'd been looking at her but his face was filled with concern and if she didn't know better, pity. "Yeah Vince, what is it?" She sighed, drawing on every ounce of energy to try and act like she wanted to know the answer.

"Why don't you go home? No-one would think anything of it, it's normal after a shooting especially, well you know, given the details." His face tensed as he tried not to mention Maura but it was like having a giant white elephant in the room. "I don't need a break, I need to do my god damn job. I'm a detective for Christ sake, I'm not supposed to be sat at home twiddling my thumbs because we followed a lead and it didn't end well." She tried to not snap but she was getting a bit sick and tired of having to explain herself. Couldn't people understand that her world had ended and she was just trying to get through one moment to the next?

"Jane…" Frost began, "Look, I know what happened was messed up and I know we're treading on egg shells not to mention it but you did what you thought was right. Why don't you try talking to her again? She was in shock, she just lashed out."

As helpful as he was trying to be, Jane could feel the emotions bubbling away to the surface. Had he been there when she'd tried talking to Maura at the hospital? She'd dismissed her just as sharply and just as angrily as when it'd first happened. It wasn't the anger though, that she could cope with, it was what she actually said that was killing Jane.

"Maura…Hows he..?"

"Don't. Don't you dare act like you give a damn how he is. Don't come here and try and talk to me and feel justified for what you did."

"I wasn't, I needed to see you, to see how you were doing."

"How I'm doing Jane? My supposed best friend shoots my father, who incidentally had dispensed his clip, and all because the first sign of affection from Agent Dean and you spill one of my most guarded secrets. How am I Jane? I'm fine, I'm fantastic and right now I'm dealing with my family so I don't have time for you."

"Maur, I'm sorry. I did what I thought was right and if I could go back and change it, I would."

"Well if I could go back and change ever meeting you, I would. Goodbye Jane."

She could feel the tears welling up as she thought about it. The damage Hoyt had inflicted on her felt nothing compared to those words coming out of Maura's mouth. It felt like she'd been stabbed through the heart and nothing she did could ease the pain. 3 more days had passed since then and there'd been no reprieve, no relief or change to the searing pain in her chest.

"She's made up mind Frost and I'm not gonna cause her any more pain by trying to push it." Jane replied whilst standing up and grabbing her jacket. "I'm out of here for the day." She said to Frost and Korsak, not even bothering to wait for the reply as she headed to the elevator. She'd head to the Dirty Robber. What did it matter if it was only 11am? As far as Jane was concerned, there was nothing in her life that could be any worse right now.