Confessions
Alternate ending to S10, ep 21 "Berlin" What if Ilan Bodnar had not intentionally rammed Tony's car?
Tony intertwined his fingers with Ziva's and rested their interlocked hands on the console. She squeezed his hand slightly and he smiled at her.
"Ziva..." Tony began.
"Tony, I…" Ziva said at the same time.
Tony stopped the car at the red light and looked over at Ziva, smiling. "You first."
"I was going to say you first, Tony." Ziva smiled at him.
Tony swallowed hard and worked up the courage to say what he wanted to tell Ziva. She bit her lower lip and worked up the courage to tell Tony what she wanted to say.
"Ziva, I love you." Tony blurted it out before he lost his nerve. At the same time, Ziva let her words escape.
"I love you, Tony." Ziva spoke from her heart before her mind could overrule again.
Silence followed their confessions of love for the other. Tony knew what he said and what he heard from Ziva. He was relieved to know that she felt the same for him as he did for her. Ziva knew what she heard from Tony and what she had spoken to him. Had he really spoken the same feeling as she had?
"How long have you felt this?" Tony asked Ziva as she blurted out, "How long have you known?"
Tony steered the car to a parking lot, not wanting to have to concentrate on driving and on the current conversation simultaneously. He put the car in park and turned to Ziva.
"I have loved you since I met you." Tony spoke the words out loud, acknowledging to himself what he had tried to bury for so long. He raised their joined hands and kissed the back of her hand.
Ziva's eyes widened as she nodded. "I have also loved you since I met you." She still was not comfortable with speaking feelings out loud, and her eyes met Tony's. She saw the love reflected back at her, realizing that his feelings were at least as strong as her own.
Tony saw the love in Ziva's eyes, and realized that her feelings ran at least as deep as his own. He moved his free hand to her face, caressing her cheek. "Ziva, I am tired of keeping this bottled up inside me. I love you and I want to be with you. I cannot imagine my life without you in it."
Ziva leaned into his touch. "I cannot imagine living without you, Tony. You are the one I want to be with." She moved towards him, putting her free hand on his cheek. Their foreheads touched and she breathed in his familiar scent. Her heart beat faster at the nearness to him. She licked her lower lip, which Tony noticed. He brushed his lips against hers, and then drew her to him by placing his hand on the back of her head. She fused her lips to his, feeling the electricity between them.
They backed off slightly to take a breath, and Ziva whispered, "Let's go home." Tony nodded and kissed her once more, then shifted the car into gear and drove to her apartment. They walked hand in hand to her front door, and she unlocked the door.
Once inside, Tony drew her to him, wrapping an arm around her waist and one behind her head and neck. Ziva wrapped both arms around Tony's neck and locked her lips on his. She pressed her body to his, wanting as much contact as possible with him. She started pulling at his shirt as he placed a hand on the hem of her top. She led him towards her bedroom. They undressed each other as they kissed and moved towards the bed, a trail of discarded clothing in their wake.
Yes, they had kissed before this. Yes, they had been intimate before this. Somehow, their confessions of love made this time into something more. It had never been "just sex" between them, but this time felt different. Both felt that they were cementing the bond between them, making their declarations of love that much stronger, making a commitment to the other for the rest of their lives. Each kiss, each wave of arousal, each new pleasure between them made the bond of love stronger, permanent, forever. Each had finally surrendered that last barrier between them, allowing their hearts to fully love, while making themselves vulnerable to the other, and truly opening the bond of soul mates who had found their forever match.