First loves

Syed remembers the first time he had these was in Pakistan,of course Christian is the only one he can confide in and the only one to understand this sort of story.

'Four times,ok'

'All one night stands'

Syed nods his head in agreement

'And I suppose they were just ok with you just swanning off,were they?'

'Didnt ask'

'Well what if Im not alright with it,what if I know it felt different.'

'Ya I know what that feels like'

'With Amira you mean?'(sniggers in disagreement)

'No' (syed spits,but suddenly wishes he hadn't said that)

(suddenly intrigued)'come on then who was this fella?'

'His name was Abi Lasmir,he was my childhood best was in Pakistan,and as you know,there are no feelings like that over those summer breaks were great,I became to think of Pakistan as my real home,with my true friends and family,where I was in England,where I was only alienated,ironically,I was an outsider to them,they treated me as if I was from Pakistan.'

'Wait a minute,so your not actually from Pakistan,you just spent summers there.'

'No,we moved when I was very young,there was a bit of conflict in Pakistan so my mum decided to move us,a safer environment and all that.'

'So why is all this muslim thing so important to you if you left the country.'

'Look,muslim is in my blood,its my family and I,we maintain strong links with our community,it was for our own safety we moved,our lives were in just because we left our country doesn't mean we left our practice,our religion,our beliefs.I don't think I would have got through living over here if I didn't have my strong faith and meditation every day.'

(not able to help himself)'You know I love it when you get all worked up over something,all hot..........!'

'Christian please don't tease.'

'Sorry,go on.'

'Ya well,he was there for me,I talked to him about things well....that Im talking to you about now.'

'Tried things out on one another did ye?'

'Please,this is serious,I was young,I was was no information on this sort of thing,because it had never been heard of.I thought I was different,alien,so basically I was isolated from every point of own people,these people I knew as strangers,It was really a struggle,you know and I was so young...........'(Christian gripped Syed's hand and squeezed it for did he know Syed was about to tell him a dreadful secret he never disclosed to anyone not even his mother..........)

'And when I used to wake up in the middle of the night,after these dreams.I knew the house was asleep,so I would go to the the scrubber mum used to clean the sink,get into the on the freezing cold water,and scrub myself until it bled....'

(Christians eyes are crying at this point,with pained had been beaten before,someone else's hatred they were taking out on to draw the blood from himself,he couldn't think of it,and was deeply shocked to the core.)

'Anyway,my friend,he was so grew quite was so special,he was the kind of boy that even though he knew it was somehow wrong,he wouldn't show it,he was reckless,he didn't me in the street,stroking my arm in the it never actually came out,and he was made to marry this girl he was chosen had no choice in reality,but to Abi,he did as he chose,he even asked my opinion,he said it all depended on my that time,I had learned the ways of my people,that I had to let him do what was right against all my hurt too much,though,I couldn't sleep at night,cold then I got really sick once.I was too late by the time Id was family cut all communication with me,I couldn't keep in contact with him anymore I was me like I had the black told me they had figured it out....'

'Oh,sy,Im so sorry,I never knew.'

(There was nothing left to say,Christian knew he needed to give Syed revelation shook him up too,but,the fact that he was the one Syed had entrusted in gave him new for the future.)